heart to heart

The entries from Laurentin II's diary repeated endlessly in Hermione's mind, her ancestor's writing haunting her. It had been two days since she had first opened his diary, two days since she learned of the Veela blood that had cursed the Travers bloodline, two days since her world stopped making sense even more. She had to figure out what she was going to do on her birthday, which was now only fourteen days away. The Room of Requirement was her only option, she couldn't undergo this change, and whatever it entails, in her dormitory. She'd be able to be alone in the Room of Requirement, she wouldn't have that luxury in Gryffindor Tower as all of her fellow Gryffindors would be there. Laurentin II wrote in his journal that he and all of his siblings had undergone the change alone and maybe that was for good reason. Maybe the newly awakened Veela instincts wouldn't be appreciative of being surrounded by others, especially if one isn't fully in control during the change. 

The thought of telling Harry, Ron, and Ginny what was going on was always looming in her mind but she was afraid. Afraid that they'd rescind their love for her based on something wholly out of her control, despite that being against their collective character. There would be no way around telling them after, if Laurentin II's account of his siblings' appearances changing was to be believed, so either she could tell them before or after. Hermione could try using a glamour charm to hide those changes but something told her the Veela blood would somehow counteract any form of said charm. And it's not like she could just show them Laurentin II's diary, for it was cursed by the man himself. She could read it out to them but that would take ages and Hermione wasn't sure she could make it through that without breaking down. 

The sounds of the Great Hall around her, her fellow students talking and enjoying their dinner, chiseled away at her brain as Hermione stared blankly down at her food. Her stomach was churning, the thought of eating bringing warm bile to the back of her throat, and it had been all day. Apprehension swirled hotly in her stomach, the thoughts of what would happen to her soon made it feel as though something clamped tightly around her heart and lungs, making it difficult to breathe, let alone think of anything else. Was this a part of the change or was this just normal anxiety that she was feeling? Would she be able to tell the difference when the time comes? Would she be able to separate the emotions that are truly hers from the ones that are based in newly awakened Veela instincts? 

"You okay, 'Mione?" Ron asks her in a whisper, sitting next to her on the right. 

Hermione forces herself to nod, her gaze moving from her untouched food to the red-haired boy sitting next to her. The concern on his face was palpable, clenching his features tightly as he looked at her. 

"Just lost in thought, sorry" Hermione says with a small smile. 

"You can talk to me about anything, 'Mione, I'm here for you" Ron says, nudging her lightly with his shoulder. 

"Thank you, as I'll do the same for you" Hermione replies, nudging back with a wider, more genuine smile on her face. 

She would tell all four of them, but she couldn't yet, at least not today. 

~*~

The halls in that part of the castle were silent at that part of the day, the intermission between the end of classes and when dinner was served in the Great Hall. It was in that part of the school that the Room of Requirement would appear, Hermione knew that from the training days of Dumbledore's Army, but it had yet to show itself to her. Standing still in the middle of the corridor, staring at the wall would surely lead any student or professor who could stumble upon her to believe that she had gone mad but Hermione didn't care. She was surprised that she hadn't, considering everything she went through during the war and everything she was currently dealing with. 

The stone wall in front of her remained infuriatingly the same, regardless of how much she was mentally begging for the Room of Requirement to show itself. Maybe it wouldn't until the change was upon her, maybe it wouldn't at all. Then what would she do? She couldn't possibly endanger every other student in Gryffindor Tower, and possibly the rest of the school because she couldn't find a secure location to undergo the change. The Shrieking Shack was too far to get to once everything started, Hermione somehow knew, so maybe she could go there the night before her birthday and spend the weekend there? If she were caught she would undeniably get detention for leaving castle grounds at night but she'd take those risks over possibly hurting someone. 

Hermione sighed, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. Why was this happening to her? Hadn't she given enough? Was it not enough for her life to not be in the hands of a generational blood curse? She wanted her parents, the Grangers not her biological ones. Regulus Black and Phoebe Travers were two people she had never met, that she never really had the chance to meet, but was tied to for the rest of her life. 

The air around her shifted as she felt a sort of humming against her skin, whatever it was ruffling her robes and her hair. She recognized it as her magic, slipping past her consciousness as her emotions got the better of her, in an instant which only made it worse. Laurentin II said that the first sign of the change, of the Veela blood awakening, is that whoever it was their magic would start acting differently. Hermione's magic has never acted outside of her control, apart from when she was too young to know how to control it. Tears began to trail down Hermione's cheeks as the physical manifestation of her magic continued, enveloping her in a warmth that she refused to accept. Maybe it was her magic trying to comfort her somehow but Hermione didn't want that, she wanted things to go back to normal. For her to not know that she was adopted, for her to go back to a time when Wendell and Monica Granger were her parents and she was just a Muggle-Born from a simple background who loved her friends and fought for what was right. 

"Granger?" A familiar voice calls out to her. 

Snapping herself out of her thoughts, Hermione feels her hair settle back down on her shoulders and her robes settle against her skin as she turns to face who is speaking to her. The humming sensation, along with the warmth that it had been providing, remained against her skin but somehow knew to reign itself in the presence of another. It vibrated quietly against her skin, settling against her like it had always been outside of her control. The face that usually carried a sneer was now rewritten with a look of uncharacteristic concern as Draco Malfoy approached her, notably alone and not followed by his fellow Slytherins. What was he doing in this part of the castle? 

"Malfoy" Hermione greets him, a frown slowly taking over her face. 

What did he want? He'd been uncharacteristically silent towards Harry, Ron, and Hermione since the term started, which was something that Hermione hadn't minded. Harry did help pardon him and reduce his parents' sentences to mere house arrest after all so maybe this was his way of showing his gratitude towards them. She knew that the blood prejudice he harbored was due to his upbringing but that didn't excuse what he did, or how he treated others. A small part of her wondered what their relationship would have been like, had they been raised like the cousins they are instead of being strangers until they both started at Hogwarts. 

"What are you doing?" He asks her, intrigue evident in his features. 

"Why is that any of your business?" Hermione retorted, crossing her arms in front of her chest. 

One of his eyebrows quirked upwards at her response as if he was expecting a different answer from her. Did he think that she was going to explain herself to him, of all people? Malfoy shook his head slightly before returning his silver-eyed gaze to her.

"Fair enough, Granger. Just figured we could be civil, is all" Malfoy says nonchalantly. 

"Civil? We can be civil after you apologize for how you treated me for nearly eight years!" Hermione responds with a shrill tone.

The humming against her skin intensifies again, without raising her hair or ruffling her robes, as her magic picks up on her annoyance and anger. It laps against her skin in violent waves, the air around her shimmering slightly, unbeknownst to Hermione herself, as frustration bubbles hotly throughout Hermione's entire body. Did Malfoy seriously think she could just move on from how he treated her all those years without some sort of apology? The Slytherin in question is eyeing her warily, stepping back slightly as he reaches for what Hermione could only suspect to be his wand. Why was he reaching for his wand? Could he see that Hermione's magic was running rampant without her control? 

"Y-you're right, Granger, and I am sorry. I never should have treated you, or anyone that way" Malfoy says, a twinge of fear cracking his voice. 

The fear in his voice shot remorse throughout Hermione's body, stifling the magic around her for just a moment. If this was only the beginning of her magic acting up, who's to say that she doesn't accidentally hurt someone before her birthday? While she's never particularly cared about Malfoy, that doesn't mean that she wants to see him get hurt or be the reason why he gets hurt. The two of them being cousins, which he still doesn't know, just adds another layer of that for Hermione. She's always cared deeply for her family, whether it be the Grangers or Harry and the Weasleys, and now that she knew that they were cousins it made her feelings about Malfoy more complicated. Did she ever think that she could fully, wholeheartedly forgive him for the way that he treated her and others? No, probably not. But was she willing to see if he had changed? Yes, even if meant the two of them just being on civil terms instead of clashing. 

"I accept your apology, Malfoy, thank you" Hermione says with a small nod. 

Malfoy drops his hand from the pocket that Hermione suspects he hides his wand in as he nods, taking her words in slowly, almost as though he didn't believe them at first. Without another word, he gives her another nod before continuing on his way down the corridor, clearly not seeing the need to overextend their conversation. Hermione takes in a deep breath before looking at the wall again, knowing that the Room of Requirement still won't appear. She would have to place her bets on the Shrieking Shack, if she can survive the next fourteen days until her birthday. 

~*~

Her magic had remained settled against her skin, humming and occasionally vibrating, following her interaction with Malfoy on the seventh floor of the castle. Hermione knew that the more emotional she got, the more her magic acted on its own, so she tried to keep her emotions in check as much as she could. The presence of it, the tangible feeling of her magic purely existing, was something that was slowly becoming comforting to Hermione. Even if it was just an extension of herself, it made her feel less alone. 

The days leading up to her birthday felt as if they were flying by, the burden of keeping her magic in check tiring Hermione out by the time classes were done for the day. She could tell that Harry, Ron, and Ginny all knew that something was happening with her but none of them had asked her about it yet. She knew that she had to tell them, that they would be able to tell that something had happened to her if she were to wait until after her birthday, but how was she supposed to explain it? That she had found the diary of one of her ancestors in the library and that led her to believe that dormant Veela blood in her veins would become active following her nineteenth birthday? What if she was wrong? What if something else entirely was happening to her? 

With her attention slipping to other things, the pestle in her hand slips out of her grasp and rolls a couple of inches forward on the desk. The potion they were brewing in class that day was simple enough that Hermione had uncharacteristically zoned out for most of the explanation of it that Professor Snape had given them, her mind focused on keeping her magic in check during class, only really paying attention when he said that they could work in pairs. She quickly paired up with Ginny, as they were already sitting together, while Harry and Ron paired up together. With the limited number of Eighth Years who had returned that year, Professor McGonagall had decided that the best course of action was to have the Seventh and Eighth years take their classes together. 

"Hermione, focus" Hermione muttered to herself, ignoring Ginny's concerned stare.

She reaches for the pestle but stops when Ginny snatches it, the concerned look on her face subtly underlined by frustration. Hermione reaches again to take it out of her hand but Ginny moves her hand out of Hermione's reach, a frown now overtaking the red-haired girl's lips. Hermione didn't have time to deal with her friend's concerns or frustration, she just wanted to finish the potion and get through this class without an incident. The last thing she wanted was for Professor Snape, who was prowling around the classroom correcting those whose potion was either incorrect or to snap at students who were doing more socializing than working, to decide to take points away from Gryffindor because of her. 

"Hermione" Ginny says pointedly. 

"Give that to me" Hermione said flatly. 

"Tell me that you're okay and I will" Ginny says, her tone bordering on no argument. 

"I'm fine, Gin, just tired" Hermione lies. 

"Don't lie to me" Ginny all but snarls at her, anger flickering in her eyes. 

Hermione looks at the other girl for a moment, knowing that this conversation will go nowhere if she keeps lying to her. But she couldn't possibly explain everything right now, especially not since they were surrounded by their peers. Her magic rattles against her skin, Hermione could feel its yearning to be released but she shoved her emotions down, trying to shove up primitive Occlumency shields to surround said emotions. Hermione wasn't well-versed in Occlumency, as she never felt the need to get passable at it until the last year or so, but she was decent enough that she could temporarily hide her emotions behind an Occlumency shield. Whether it kept others out of her mind or not, Hermione didn't care, as it worked for what she needed it to. 

"I have a lot going on right now, Gin, you know that, so can you drop it, please?" Hermione asks in a slight whisper, hating the begging tone in her voice. 

"Get back to work, Granger, Weasley, this isn't social hour" Professor Snape snarled from Hermione's right. 

The sudden voice next to her causes Hermione to jump, her heart launching itself into her throat as it beats wildly. The humming against her skin shifts into a violent vibration as her magic bounces off of her skin and crackles in the air around her. A crack splinters through the glass container of belladonna that was on Hermione and Ginny's table. Time slowed as Hermione turned in her seat to face the professor, who must have witnessed Hermione's magic go haywire. The sound of glass cracking filled her ears as every piece of glass in the room either splintered or shattered completely, the other students in the classroom screaming and ducking for cover almost immediately. Any glass that came near Hermione was repelled away by her magic, which was now moving freely throughout the space around her. 

Hermione was incapable of moving, her mind completely blank as her gaze landed on the Potions professor. She could feel Ginny tugging on her arm, trying to get her to hide under the desk with her, but Hermione's entire body was glued to her seat, either her magic or something else entirely keeping her rooted to the stool she was sitting on. The professor in question had taken out his wand in the time it took for Hermione to face him and had cast a shield around the students who didn't get to the cover in time, the shards of glass that had erupted across the room bouncing off of the shield before shattering on the floor.

Her eyes landed on his face, her gaze slowly trailing the slope of his nose down to his lips before she looked back up into his dark eyes, which were now looking back at her with visible concern. She didn't want him to look at her like that, why was he looking at her like that? A whine slipped past her lips at the thought, startling the professor enough that his shield spell flickered a bit before remaining up. 

"What in Merlin's name is wrong with her, Weasley?" Professor Snape barked, ignoring Hermione entirely. 

"I don't know!" Ginny replied from behind Hermione, concern and fear lacing her tone. 

Despite the tone her best friend spoke in, fear evident in her voice, Hermione didn't want to turn around to look at her, to see what was wrong. All she wanted to do was continue looking at the professor, her mind blank apart from her instinctual need to have him in her presence. As the last of the glass fell to the ground, Professor Snape dropped his shields and lowered his wand to his side, eyeing Hermione warily as he did so. As her magic continued to dance in the air around her, Hermione, through her instinctual haze, could feel her eyes becoming heavy the longer she looked at the professor. 

"She needs to be brought to Madam Pomfrey, now" Professor Snape says, his dark eyes roaming over Hermione's face. 

Hermione could hear movement behind her but she was still glued to her seat, her eyes still glued on Professor Snape. 

"I'll take her" Ginny says from next to Hermione. 

"We'll come too" A familiar voice rings out from behind Professor Snape. 

Her eyes began to droop then, as Harry and Ron stepped delicately over the broken glass over to where Ginny, Hermione, and Professor Snape were. Hermione felt hands on her arm again, this time being able to move her. But they were leading her away from Professor Snape, as they maneuvered her off of her stool and towards the classroom door, and that was something that just couldn't happen. A growl resonates deep in Hermione's chest, startling whoever was dragging her away enough that they stopped, as she looked back at Professor Snape with pleading eyes. 

"H-Hermione?" She hears Ginny say tentatively.

The professor is looking at Hermione with eyes filled with shock but the shock is quickly replaced by concern, concern that Hermione easily mistakes as being for her. She rips her arm away from Ginny and dashes towards the professor, ignoring the glass stabbing into her feet through her thin sneakers. She throws herself into his arms, nearly knocking the man to the floor in the process as all of the air leaves his lungs in a small grunt. Her eyes close as she presses her face against his chest, inhaling his smoky scent as if she were relearning how to breathe. 

"Granger, get off of me" Professor Snape snarls down at her, trying to wrench her arms off of him but to no avail. 

Hermione doesn't move, her arms still wrapped around him like a vice, as her mind remains blank. 

"Professor?" Harry asks. 

Hermione felt the professor sigh against herself as he resolutely did not touch her, another whine leaving her. Why didn't he want to hold her? Had she done something wrong? Her magic crackles in the air again, warm against her skin as it laps against her. The feeling of something small lightly pressing against the top of her head startles Hermione, her arms tightening slightly around Professor Snape. 

"You three will be explaining whatever in Merlin's name is happening when she's in the hospital wing" Professor Snape says, ire evident in his voice. 

The professor whispers something softly, Hermione's ears perking in interest before she feels herself closing her eyes as everything goes black. The last thing she feels before she goes unconscious is Professor Snape wrapping an arm around her so she didn't collapse.