heart to heart

Summer 1998

Sweat trails down the back of Hermione's neck as she lifts her wand repeatedly, her wand arm screaming at her for a moment of rest. The sun was beating down unforgivingly that day, and had been since sunrise that morning, making every movement harder then it needed to be. Grunts of exertion can be heard all around her in the courtyard as her fellow witches and wizards help in the rebuilding efforts as well. It had been two months since the Battle of Hogwarts, since Voldemort had been defeated, and cleanup efforts at Hogwarts were nearly done. The interior of the castle had been done first, or what could be done without the exterior being finished, and now they were onto rebuilding the exterior of the school. It would take the remainder of the summer to complete, Hermione had been told, if their progress remained as steady as it had been since reparations began. 

She had jumped at the chance to help, as she needed something consistent to get her mind off of everything that had happened over the last few months when Professor McGonagall had asked her and had hardly left the castle since. There were the trials of the Death Eaters that she had to attend, of course, and the countless funerals at the beginning of summer but she hadn't left the grounds in weeks. The last time she had returned to her childhood home had been when she had Obliviated her parents so she wouldn't be returning there until she had to. A trip to Australia to visit them had happened as soon as the war had ended and, much to Hermione's dismay, she was unable to lift the Obliviate charm she had placed upon them. Neither had anyone from the Ministry been successful either, so she mournfully had returned to England within a week of having left. 

A few more Death Eater trials were slated for the end of the summer and early fall which she would attend, either at the request of the Ministry or to lend moral support to her surviving friends, but she was planning on remaining at Hogwarts when term began to finish her final year. Most everyone in her year, those still alive anyway, would also be returning from what she had heard so she was excited for term to start. They all deserved one normal year at Hogwarts, where they could focus on their education and not whether or not they would have to face dark witches and wizards at every turn. The healing process would be a slow one, and the hurt regarding those they had lost would never truly go away, but it was something that everyone deserved. 

As her arm screamed at her in exertion, sweat trailing down onto the palm of her hand, making it difficult to hold onto her wand, she slowly lifted another piece of rubble from the middle of the courtyard and levitated it over to the nearest hole in the wall. Just as her wand was about to slip out of her hand, she was able to set the bricks down, she could see movement out of the corner of her eye. That day it had been herself, Harry, Ron, and Ginny working on that area of the castle but she couldn't quite make out who was moving.  While she turned to see who it was, she wiped her palms on her shirt, inwardly cringing at the sweat now covering her white tank top.

Harry and Ron were talking to each other about something she couldn't quite make out while magically lifting the rubble that was in front of them but Ginny was walking over to her, face red with exertion and sweat beading on her brow. 

"Hey, Gin" Hermione offered in greeting as the younger girl approached her.

"Wanna take a break? I'm exhausted" Ginny says with a small yawn. 

They had been working since early that morning and they had already had a lunch break what seemed like hours ago, so Hermione wouldn't mind taking a break for a little bit. All of the house dormitories had either been fixed already or hadn't been damaged so the people who were staying on the grounds to help with the renovations were sleeping in their old dormitories while the Great Hall had been temporarily converted into both a common room while a few of the long tables remained so they could still take their meals in there. Ron and Ginny had been traveling between the Burrow and Hogwarts all summer, along with the rest of the Weasley family, while Harry and Hermione had been staying entirely on the grounds. It was astonishing to Hermione, the ability the Weasley family had to put effort into others while also mourning Fred's death. He was a dear friend to her and she would miss him for the rest of her life, but he wasn't her son or brother so she couldn't begin to imagine the pain that they were all feeling. 

"Yeah, I could use one. Should we ask the boys if they want to take one too?" Hermione asks. 

Things between herself and Ron had been....difficult following the end of the war. The kiss they shared was a result of a million factors coming to a head at the same moment, a heat-of-the-moment type of thing, which they both had agreed on but there was still some awkwardness lingering there. Hermione genuinely loved and cared for Ron, she had for years by now, but it was now resolutely just in a platonic sense. Ron and Harry were the brothers that she never had growing up but would have for the rest of her life, or at least she hoped that she would have them for that long. 

Ginny nods before walking over to the two boys in question, Hermione slowly trailing behind her. Harry and Ron both lowered their wands as the two girls approached them, both of their faces also red with exertion and sweat on their brows as well. 

"We're gonna take a break, wanna join?" Ginny asks, pointing her thumb in Hermione's direction when she says that they are gonna take a break. 

"Sure, my arm is killing me" Ron says, looking partially relieved that he wasn't the one suggesting the break. 

Harry nods as he stuffs his wand away in his pocket, Ron following suit shortly after. 

"Think there's any food left in the Great Hall?" Ginny asks. 

"It's worth checking, I'm starving" Ron said. 

"When are you not?" Hermione asks jokingly. 

Ron looks over at her with a quick fake laugh before the four of them begin their walk to the Great Hall. They pass other groups working on different parts of the castle as they walk, all of them looking as equally tired as they feel. Most of the volunteers helping are members of the Order or other students from their year, along with the entirety of the Hogwarts staff, excluding Professor Snape and Madam Pomfrey. Madam Pomfrey was attending to the hospital wing, whether that be to the repairs or any still receiving treatment in it Hermione didn't know exactly but had helped with some of the interior repairs. Professor Snape was one of the individuals receiving treatment from Madam Pomfrey in the hospital wing, as when he had arrived there he was in too delicate of a condition to apparate to St. Mungo's. 

When the three of them had left the Potions professor in the Shrieking Shack, Hermione believed him to be dead so it was a shock to hear that he was undergoing treatment for his wounds in the hospital wing. She hadn't pried any further into it, knowing that out of all people Professor Snape would not take too kindly to her meddling in his personal business. Whether he returns to his post as Potions Master when term begins is something that she'll have to wait and see. 

"Excited for term to start, Hermione?" Ginny asks as they walk. 

"Oh, you have no idea" Hermione gushed, smiling a little bit as she spoke. 

"Only you would be excited about the prospect of future homework" Ron says jokingly as he rolls his eyes at her. 

"I'm excited for us to have one normal year at Hogwarts, Ronald, without the threat of Voldemort breathing down our necks" Hermione says with a small huff. 

"That sounds nice, but there are still some Death Eaters on the run with plenty of supporters to back them" Harry says with a frown. 

She looks over at Harry, the look on his face taking her back slightly as he looked both deep in thought yet painfully aware of their surroundings. The war had been hard on him, taking the life of another, regardless of it being Voldemort's or not, had and still was taking a toll on him. 

"With dozens of capable Aurors on their tails, they wouldn't be stupid enough to attack Hogwarts again" Hermione says, trying to comfort her friend. 

Harry slowly nods, letting the topic fall away, as they continue their walk to the Great Hall. As they pass another group working on repairs, this time the group stops as they walk by and wave for the four of them to come and talk to them. They were all members of the Order, as this group consisted of Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Rubeus Hagrid. Hermione was surprised to see Remus there since he had Tonks and the baby at home, but knowing Tonks she must be annoyed that she can't be there to help as well. They greeted the four of them with familiar smiles and warm eyes, ignoring the rubble around them for a moment. 

"You four done for the day?" Hagrid asks them. 

"We're taking a break for a little bit" Hermione explained. 

"That's a smart idea, no need to over-exert yourselves today with all that needs to get done" Remus adds, wiping sweat from his brow as he speaks. 

"You guys can join us on our break if you want?" Harry offers.

"We're almost done here I think so we won't be taking a break for a little bit, thank you for the offer though Harry" Remus says, looking at the younger man with an almost paternal look in his eyes. 

Hermione could feel someone staring at her so she turned her gaze to see who it was and it was...Sirius? He was looking at her as if he was trying to figure something out just by looking at her. How long had he been looking at her like that? And why? Once he realized that she was staring back at him, his gaze quickly flits away from hers as if nothing had happened. Hermione blinked for a second, trying to make sense of the older man's actions. Was the sweat stain on her shirt that visible that he was trying to figure out what it was? Or was it something else entirely?

~*~

The Great Hall was bustling with activity that night, or as bustling as it could be with everyone that's happened over the last few months, as Hermione found a seat at one of the long tables. They had been late to finish their section of the remodel that afternoon, curse Ginny and her need for a break, so the four of them were late to dinner that night. Professor McGonagall had tried to get everyone in the habit of having dinner together, those who remained on the grounds for meals anyway, not only so the house elves didn't have to ensure that food was ready at different times throughout the night but so everyone could spend time together and remember what they fought for and so on. It was something that Hermione generally enjoyed, as it was nice to see everyone who was working toward the same goal as her in one room and share that experience with other people. 

That night she found herself sitting with Harry, Ron, Ginny, Neville, Luna, Dean, and Seamus. Different volunteers had flited in and out throughout the summer with the majority of them having recently joined as the start of term got closer and closer. Neville and Luna had been helping on and off all summer but had decided to move back onto the grounds a few weeks ago while Dean and Seamus arrived just days prior. The four of them had been unofficially assigned to the same area and had been working together since Dean and Seamus arrived. 

"How are things going where you guys are?" Neville asked in between bites. 

"Slow but we're getting there. We'll maybe finish within the next couple days" Ginny said. 

"McGonagall said today that we're moving faster than she thought we were, and that we might be done in two or three weeks" Seamus says. 

"A lot more people have been volunteering recently" Harry adds.

"I'll just be ready to be done, this hot weather has been taking a toll on everyone" Dean sighed. 

"You got that right, it's bloody horrible" Ron moaned as he piled more food on his plate. 

Hermione continued to eat silently, tuning in and out of her friends' conversation when she noticed Sirius staring at her again from across the Great Hall. The look on his face was one she'd never seen on him before, one that she couldn't even begin to read. There was an urge in the back of her mind for her to look behind herself to see if he was actually staring at something else but she knew, deep down, that he was staring straight at her. She saw him slightly lean in and say something to Remus which quickly turned into the two of them staring at her with matching expressions on their faces. What was going on with them? 

She swiveled her gaze away from the two older men, not knowing exactly what to do. Should she mention their strange behavior to someone? Or was she possibly making something out of nothing? Both stress and grief can do strange things to people and that's exactly what everyone has been experiencing lately. Maybe they'll explain themselves at some point because Hermione didn't want to make something out of nothing, interpersonal drama was the last thing she wanted to deal with. 

"Why are both Sirius and Remus staring at you?" Ginny whispers to her, making sure that only Hermione can hear her. 

Hermione looked at the other girl for a moment, if it was that obvious that Ginny noticed had other people noticed and just not said anything? The boys and Luna haven't seemed to notice, or if they had they haven't said anything, but that doesn't mean anyone else hasn't. 

"I don't know" Hermione says honestly. 

"Oh, that's weird then. Maybe ask them why later?" Ginny says with a shrug before turning back to her food. 

Asking them why they were doing that would be a good idea, just to keep all of her personal relationships in check even for just a little while longer, but Hermione wasn't sure how she should go about it. They're the ones openly staring at her, yes, but how was she supposed to ask them about it? She's never had a problem like this before, let alone from two men she thought that she was friends with. Surely they'll have some sort of explanation and then everything will be fine, right?

~*~

As the repairs on the castle continued, any odd feelings in Hermione's brain as a result of both Remus and Sirius's unusual actions were pushed to the side to make way for her blooming excitement for term to begin. Sightings of the duo around the castle grew further apart as the summer drew to a close, Remus undoubtedly home with his wife and infant son while no one knew exactly where Sirius was. The Ministry lifted his Azkaban sentence when the evidence of him being framed became evident so he was able to once again travel freely throughout the country so he could be anywhere. His letters to Harry informing him of his whereabouts were infrequent but frequent enough for them not to worry, they all understood that he had missed out on so much during his time in Azkaban and must be curious about the world. Hermione knew that it was hard on Harry, for Sirius not to be around as much, especially with everyone that they had lost during the war, but he wouldn't voice it to anyone.

"Hey, 'Mione, you alright?" A familiar voice takes Hermione out of her thoughts. 

Raising her gaze from the stone wall in front of herself, Hermione gave a small smile to her best friend. Harry stood a few feet to her left, looking at her with a concerned look, while Ron and Ginny stood another couple of feet away from him, the two of them talking about something that Hermione couldn't quite make out.  

"Yeah, you?" Hermione asks him. 

Harry nodded but there was a look in his eye that made her believe somewhat otherwise. After a few moments pass, Hermione decides against prying as she knows that Harry will tell her if he wants to talk about it. 

"Hey, guys, want to come to dinner at the Burrow tonight? Mum misses you both" Ron says as he and Ginny approach the two of them. 

Guilt leaped to the forefront of Hermione's mind at the mention of the Weasley matriarch and homestead, knowing that she'd been avoiding both practically all summer. The loss of Fred was still palpable among Ron and Ginny but it had made itself at home at the Burrow, every nook and cranny thick with grief. Molly and Arthur had continually invited both Harry and Hermione over to the Burrow all summer and they had gone a couple of times but Hermione just felt off going. The Weasleys were family to her and had been for years, but she didn't want to intrude during a time of distress for the family. Both Ginny and Ron had said that she was wrong, that Molly and Arthur wanted her there and viewed her as a daughter, but something in Hermione wasn't convinced. As if she was both an insider and an outsider amongst these people that she cared for so deeply. With Harry and Ginny being in a relationship it almost rubbed in her outsider factor, as her relationship with Ron hadn't panned out to anything, barring her from ever legally joining the Weasley family. 

"Yeah, I'd love too" Hermione says after a moment or two. 

"I'll come too" Harry chimes in. 

"Good! Mum will be really happy" Ginny says with a smile, her smile widening slightly as she looks over at her boyfriend.

Hermione gives her a small smile back, clashing feelings of happiness and sadness bubbling up in her chest. She was happy to see the Weasleys and to be included in their family events, but she wanted to see her parents. Wanted her parents to remember who she was, and wanted them to not be living a completely different life on an entirely different continent. She had done it for their own safety, as she never would have been able to forgive herself if something had happened to them because of her involvement in the war, but she thought that she would be able to undo it when the time came. They were safe in Australia, safe away from any lingering threats of Death Eaters or their supporters, and Hermione just had to continue to remind herself that. 

~*~

The sun was dipping low in the sky by the time dinner was finishing up at the Burrow that night. Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione had apparated there following completing their exterior castle repairs that afternoon. Not all of the Weasleys were there that night, just Molly, Arthur, and George along with Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny. The loss of Fred was potent in the air but it wasn't as thick as it had been at the beginning of the summer, but it was still there in how Molly had still set a place at the table for him, how George kept looking out of the corner of his eye when he spoke, how the house was more quiet then Hermione had ever heard it. 

"Hey" Ron says as he sits down on the couch next to Hermione, slightly nudging her knee with the glass he had in his hands filled with what Hermione suspected to be fire whiskey. 

The others were all in the dining room, Hermione could hear them from where she, and now Ron, were sitting in the living room. They had finished eating a few minutes previously and Hermione had excused herself to the living room, memories of having homecooked meals with her parents had leaped to the forefront of her mind and she didn't want to cry in front of everyone. The tears had yet to fall but she could feel that they were going to at any moment, but at least it would only be in front of Ron and not the rest of the family. 

"Hey" Hermione says, sobs clawing at the back of her throat, just begging to escape. 

Ron takes a sip of the fire whiskey before handing it over to Hermione, who reluctantly takes the glass from him and takes a small sip from it. The whiskey burned as it went down and Hermione could feel her face scrunch up at the taste of it as she handed the glass back over to Ron.

"You want to talk about it?" He asks softly, looking at her with a fond look in his eyes. 

Hermione sighs. 

"It's my parents" She says in an almost whisper. 

Ron slowly nods his head as he takes another swig of the fire whiskey. Without speaking, he loops his free arm around her shoulders and pulls Hermione in for a sideways hug. Hermione rests her head against his shoulder as tears slowly, and silently, trail down her face. Even if things hadn't worked out romantically between the two of them, Hermione still greatly valued her relationship with Ron and wouldn't trade it for anything. 

"Ron, Hermione! Come in here, please!" called Molly from the other room after a few minutes of them sitting in silence. 

Hermione shuddered out a sigh as she wiped the remaining tears from her face, Ron withdrawing his arm from her shoulders as she did so. The pair stood silently in tandem with each other and walked back into the dining room together. The other four Weasleys and Harry were still sitting at the dining room table as they entered, all of them seeming to be in good spirits. They greeted Hermione and Ron with fond smiles as they entered and sat at the table. Harry looked at Hermione with a concerned look on his face, clearly being able to tell that she had just been crying, but he didn't immediately say anything. Molly had a sad smile on her face as she looked at Hermione, also noticing that she had been crying but, like Harry, didn't say anything in front of everyone else. 

"Hey, Mum, what's going on?" Ron asks. 

"Are the two of you returning to Hogwarts for your final year?" Molly asks, looking between Ron and Hermione as she speaks. 

"I plan on it, yes" Hermione responds. 

Had Ron not told Molly and Arthur his plans? The summer had been chaos since the war had ended but Ron had been to the Burrow countless times since, had been around his parents during the entirety of those visits, and they hadn't talked about it at all? 

"Yes, Mum, I am" Ron says a moment after Hermione speaks. 

Molly nods her head. 

"You kids be safe this year, okay? You've done enough for the Wizarding World, you all deserve a normal year" Arthur says. 

Hermione nods, knowing what Arthur was saying was true but that trouble oftentimes found them before they found it.