High and Dry

Remus had been relaxing in his dorm for what felt like hours, absently flipping through the pages of his book, his eyes barely tracking the words. His birthday had come up so fast, and he hadn’t been expecting much. But there had been a sudden flurry of activity around him—whispers, glances exchanged behind his back, girls huddling together, and then Sirius, with his usual lack of subtlety, telling him everything.

"Your birthday party is going to be grand this year. Grand!” Sirius had said with a grin, oblivious, like he hadn’t just spilled a secret. 

Remus had stared at him, unimpressed, but couldn’t help the faint smile that tugged at his lips. He didn’t mind that he knew; he wasn’t the type to enjoy surprises anyway. But the fact that his friends had gone to the trouble of organizing something for him still made him feel oddly warm inside.

Now Remus was lazily sprawled against his bed, reading. He was flicking through the pages, not fully paying attention. He was waiting for someone to open the door and come up with some wild excuse to get him to the common room.

Just when Remus was trying to figure out how he could possibly feign surprise, the door to his room suddenly flew open, and James bounded in, practically bouncing on his heels. Remus was half tempted to stay where he was, knowing full well what was coming.

“Oi! Moony, come on!” James said, grinning from ear to ear, clearly on some kind of high from the excitement of the day. “We’re playing exploding snap in the common room. You’ve been up here too long.”

Remus closed his book with a soft thud, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. 

“Exploding Snap, huh?” Remus said, leaning back against his pillows with a feigned look of indifference. “Is it really necessary to drag me into a card game? I thought I was doing perfectly fine up here, enjoying the peace and quiet.”

James, clearly not buying it, leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed in his usual dramatic fashion. “The peace and quiet won’t last much longer, mate. You’ve been up here like an old man for hours. C’mon, it’s your birthday.”

James’ grin widened, but it was just a little too wide, a little too eager. Remus couldn’t hold back the smile that tugged at his lips, despite himself. 

Sighing dramatically, Remus threw the book aside and swung his legs off the bed, stretching lazily. “Well, when you put it that way,” he said, standing up and straightening his clothes. “I suppose I could grace you all with my presence.”

James's eyes lit up at Remus’s compliance. “That’s the spirit!” He stepped forward, giving Remus a playful shove toward the door. He let James pull him along down the hall.

As they descended the stairs, the noise from the common room grew louder. Laughter, chatter, and the clinking of glasses greeted them as James flung open the door to the crowded space.

“Moony’s here!” James announced, making a grand gesture toward Remus.

The common room was decorated with large bright star shaped candles. They floated in the air, making the ceiling look like it was a childrens drawing of the night sky. There were a million strings of maroon and purple felt strung around the room. The fireplace mantle had a large banner pinned against it, reading—

Happy Birthday Moony!

The room erupted into cheers and applause, and for a moment, Remus felt his cheeks flush under the attention. It was strange, being the center of attention like this. He wasn’t sure what to do with himself, but before he could second-guess it, his friends crowded around him. Sirius was grinning from ear to ear, standing beside Lily, who was holding a drink in one hand and smiling warmly at him.

“Happy birthday, Remus!” Lily said, giving him a friendly hug before stepping back to join the others.

“Yeah, happy birthday Moons,” Sirius chimed in, his eyes soft with affection. 

“Thanks,” Remus said, feeling a lump form in his throat. It was hard to explain how much the gesture meant to him, even if it was just a party. But these people—his friends—had become his family, and that realization was never lost on him. “You lot didn’t have to go through all this trouble.”

Sirius waved it off, his usual carefree attitude returning. “What kind of friends would we be if we didn’t celebrate your birthday properly?”

James grinned. “Besides, it’s an excuse to eat cake. You know we wouldn’t pass that up.”

Remus laughed, shaking his head at their antics. But as he looked around at the familiar faces, he realized that he didn’t need anything extravagant. This was enough. These people cared. And that was more than he’d ever thought he would get.

“Alright, alright,” Remus said, shaking his head in mock frustration. “I’ll go along with your ridiculous party. But I want cake first.”

“Moony’s got the right idea!” James cheered.

Lily stepped forward, holding out a small wrapped box. “Before we get to cake, though,” she said with a wink, “I’ve got a present for you.”

“Now you’re spoiling me,” Remus said, genuinely surprised. He took the box from her and gave it a shake. “I hope it’s not a book.”

Lily’s eyes twinkled mischievously. “If it is, it’s a good book.”

Inside the box was a new pair of gloves—soft, warm, and clearly well-made. He grinned, turning to Lily. “I’ll need these for the cold winter nights,” he said, slipping them in his pocket. “Thank you.”

“Alright, enough with the sentimental stuff! Cake and drinks time!” James yelled, clapping his hands together, and with that, the group surged toward the table.

—------------------------------

At some point in the night, other Gryffindor students had joined them. No longer an intimate event, the noise in the common room had become deafening, but Remus didn’t mind. Remus stood by the window, cigarette in hand, a goofy grin tugging at his lips as the party roared in front of him. The common room was alive, throbbing with music, laughter, and the energy of over a dozen voices all blending together in an exhilarating cacophony. 

The cigarette dangled lazily between his fingers, smoke curling upward in delicate wisps. He didn’t care about the cold creeping in through the open window or the way the sound of the party buzzed against his skin. He felt light, his limbs heavy in the best way possible, and everything seemed brighter than it should be. The amber glow from the fireplace caught the edges of his vision, casting a golden hue over the room and making everything look nearly surreal.

Every so often, the laughter from his friends would catch his attention, and he would chuckle softly to himself, the sound of it surprising him in its warmth. The world felt so full, so alive, and he couldn't help but soak it all in, grinning at nothing in particular. Even the cigarette felt perfect in his hand, its sharpness grounding him in the pleasant swirl of dizziness that had settled over him. He took another slow drag, letting the smoke fill his lungs before releasing it in a lazy exhale, watching it rise and fade into the already thick air.

He was blissfully drunk, the kind of drunk that made everything feel light and fuzzy. The world around him seemed to float, as if the walls of the common room could collapse at any moment and it wouldn’t matter.

But even amidst the chaos, his eyes kept drifting toward Sirius.

Sirius was the center of it all, as usual. His laughter rang out above the crowd, a sound that was bright and carefree. He was grinning from ear to ear, his dark eyes sparkling with mischief as Marlene spun him around. The way he moved was effortless, like he was made for the attention, made for the energy of the room. Every time he twirled, Remus’s breath caught in his chest, unable to look away.

Sirius was radiant. It wasn’t just the glow of the firelight or the alcohol making his features sharper, more striking—it was him. It was how he threw himself into the moment, how he made everything seem so simple, so full of life. Remus couldn’t help but marvel at him, the way his dark hair bounced with every movement, the way his shoulders relaxed as he laughed, completely free of any weight or worry.

He was so beautiful. Remus could feel it deep in his chest, an ache he couldn't ignore. It was the kind of beauty that wasn’t just skin-deep—it was how Sirius was, how his presence filled up every corner of a room, how he made Remus forget everything else when he smiled.

It was a strange feeling, this mix of warmth and longing, of wanting to be close to Sirius, but also being perfectly content just watching him. Remus couldn’t stop his heart from beating faster every time Sirius’s gaze accidentally met his across the room, those dark eyes catching his like gravity.

But then, without warning, Sirius broke free from Marlene and came toward him. His steps were quick and confident, and Remus’s pulse jumped in his throat as he saw the familiar, mischievous smile tugging at the corner of Sirius’s lips.

"Moony," Sirius said, his voice warm with laughter and drink, "What’re you doing over here all by yourself? You’re missing out on the fun!"

Remus’s mouth felt dry as he looked at Sirius, his mind spinning in a thousand different directions. "Just needed a break," Remus said finally.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, looking back toward the dancing crowd. "Well, you’re not getting a break if I have anything to say about it."

Before Remus could protest, Sirius grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the dance floor. Remus’s feet stumbled slightly as he was pulled along, his mind still hazy from the alcohol, but he couldn’t bring himself to resist. The crowd parted just enough to let them in. The music was loud, too loud, but Sirius didn’t seem to care. He was grinning at him, that same familiar, dazzling grin.

“I’m not much of a dancer, Pads,” Remus said, trying to laugh it off, but his voice came out a little too thick with emotion.

Sirius’s grin only widened. “Well, you don’t have to be a good dancer. Just move your feet. Come on, Moony, you can’t be the only one standing around looking like an old man.”

Remus felt a small, unsteady laugh escape him, despite the way his heart fluttered in his chest. He let Sirius pull him in closer, the heat of his body mixing with the warmth of the room. It felt right—being here, with Sirius’s hand on his, the sound of the music blurring into something softer, something almost intimate.

They moved together, not really dancing, just swaying in time with the beat. It was ridiculous, really—Remus was hardly coordinated enough to keep up with Sirius’s fluid movements, but he didn’t care. They stayed like that for a while, Remus grinning at Sirius, Sirius grinning at Remus. But then, without warning, the song changed. The upbeat rhythm shifted into something slower, something softer, and Remus felt the shift like a soft tug in his chest. He heard groans from all directions.

All alone in this world am I

Not a care for this world have I

Only you keep my eyes open wide

Remus glanced over towards the record player, which was perched on a table in the far left corner of the Common Room. James stood beside it, looking entirely too pleased with himself, a mischievous grin spread across his face. Gideon was standing next to him, looking thoroughly defeated, his shoulders slumped as if he’d just lost an argument. But James wasn’t looking at Gideon. He was staring directly at Remus, his smirk widening when he caught Remus’s eye.

Remus felt his cheeks flush immediately. James knew exactly what he was doing. 

Remus turned his attention back to Sirius, half-expecting to see that familiar, playfully annoyed look on his face. After all, Sirius had always hated George Harrison. Absolutely hated his music. (Which Remus would say was incredibly wrong, thankyou very much). It was a well-known fact. Remus had no idea why it had become such a sore spot for Sirius, but it was practically a joke in their group—anything to do with the singer was guaranteed to make Sirius roll his eyes or groan dramatically.

But when Remus looked back at Sirius, he was met with a sight he hadn’t expected. Sirius wasn’t scowling, wasn’t frowning in irritation. Instead, he was silently laughing, his eyes dancing with that familiar mischievous spark, and his lips curved into a grin that made Remus’s heart skip a beat. Sirius tightened his grip on Remus’s hands, his fingers firm but warm against Remus’s. There was a soft, teasing glint in his eyes as he looked up at Remus, and with a playful nudge, he leaned in just slightly, his breath warm against Remus’s ear.

“Come on, Moony,” Sirius said, his voice low and flirtatious, “Let’s dance to this one too. You know you want to.”

Remus’s breath caught in his throat, and his heart skipped a beat at the tone in Sirius’s voice. His stomach flipped, his pulse quickening despite the lightness of the moment. With Sirius’s hands on his, pulling him closer, and that teasing smile spreading across his face, Remus found that he couldn’t say no. Not when Sirius was looking at him like that. 

Without thinking, Remus nodded, his lips parting as he tried to catch his breath, his head spinning just a little from the mix of alcohol and the weight of Sirius’s gaze. He allowed himself to be pulled toward the center of the room, their hands still intertwined. 

Only sadness from all that is grown

In this darkness, I wait for the day

Yes, it’s true

I live for you

Sirius’s hands shifted from Remus’s, slowly sliding up to rest on his side, his fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt. Sirius leaned impossibly closer, his face only inches away from Remus’s, his eyes locked onto him, and Remus felt his breath catch in his throat.

Their bodies moved together with a gentle rhythm that felt almost too natural. The song played on, its gentle melody filling the air. As the song neared its end, Sirius’s lips parted, and under his breath, began to sing along with the lyrics.

Give my love, that is all I can do

Wait in line til’ I feel you inside

Yes, it’s true

I live for you.

He felt the words vibrate between them, an unspoken challenge, a question hanging in the air that neither of them had said out loud, but they both understood. Remus swallowed hard, unable to tear his gaze away from Sirius’s face. He was mesmerized, caught in the intensity of the moment, the way Sirius’s voice seemed to wrap around him, pulling him closer, tighter.

It was almost like they were the only two people in the room.

When the song finally ended, Remus was jolted out of his reverie as Sirius suddenly pulled him sharply by the hand. Sirius began to pull Remus through the crowd and out through the portrait hole. A surge of giddy energy ran through Remus, and he couldn't help but grin like a fool. 

“Where are we going?” he asked, his voice thick with drunken excitement.

Sirius just giggled in response, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Follow me,” he said, his grip tightening before he broke into a run.

Remus, too tipsy to care about anything but the rush of the moment, followed suit, laughing breathlessly as they dashed down the corridors of Hogwarts. His body was light, his feet barely touching the ground as he ran, hand still tightly clutched in Sirius’s. A small voice in the back of his mind reminded him it was past curfew and that they were being incredibly loud, but he ignored it, choosing instead to follow Sirius wherever he led.

They tore through the hallways, their footsteps echoing against the stone floors, their laughter filling the silence of the castle. Without warning, Sirius suddenly stopped, and Remus, a little taken aback, almost collided with him. Before he could catch his breath, Sirius tugged on his hand again, leading him through a door on their right. They entered a dark room, and at first, Remus couldn’t make out where they were. He blinked, trying to adjust to the low light, and then it hit him—this was a classroom.

He laughed, the sound echoing off the walls. “What in the world are we doing here?” he asked, his voice still light and full of curiosity.

Sirius didn’t answer right away, but instead led him toward the large window that overlooked the grounds of Hogwarts. The moon hung high in the sky, its light spilling in and illuminating them both in a soft, silver glow. Sirius’s hand never left his, and as they stood there together, Remus could feel his heart beat just a little faster.

Sirius turned to him then, his expression suddenly serious. “I wanted to give you your birthday gift in private,” Sirius said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out something small, carefully wrapped in a piece of parchment. He handed it to Remus, who blinked in surprise, unable to quite understand the weight of the gesture at first. Remus carefully unwrapped it, his fingers a little clumsy from the alcohol, and inside he found a small silver chain, a delicate pendant hanging from it.

It was a crescent moon, simple yet beautiful, with a small star etched into the curve. Remus’s breath caught in his throat, his heart suddenly full. He met Sirius’s eyes, trying to process the enormity of the gift.

“I—Sirius, this is…” Remus’s voice trailed off, lost for words.

Sirius’s smile was soft, almost shy, but there was an undeniable warmth in it. “I’ve been wanting to give it to you for a while,” he admitted. “It’s a moon, just like you. And well, I’m the star. And,” he added, “its not real silver. Obviously.”

Remus swallowed, the emotions swirling inside him suddenly too much to contain. He had never expected this—never expected something so deeply personal, so meaningful. He reached out, fingers brushing over the pendant, and felt his heart swell with something that felt like gratitude, affection, and love.

“Thank you,” he whispered, his voice thick with feeling. “It’s perfect.”

Sirius just nodded, his eyes glinting in the moonlight. 

“You said forever, didn’t you Moons.” A statement, not a question. “Now we’re forever.”

Sometimes, when Remus is feeling careless—when the quiet of the night lulls him into a soft, distant daydream—he imagines a future where Sirius loves him as deeply and as fiercely as Remus loves him.

He imagines waking up next to Sirius on slow mornings, the warmth of the sunlight streaming through the window, a soft golden glow settling around them. Sirius, sprawled across his chest, half asleep, hair a mess, but somehow even more beautiful in the quiet of the early hours. Remus would run his fingers through Sirius’s hair, careful not to disturb the peacefulness of the moment. He imagines the sound of Sirius’s sleepy voice, a soft mumble of affection as he pulls Remus closer, nuzzling his neck, the weight of his body grounding him in a way nothing else could.

And then there are the nights, when they’re both too eager to be close. He imagines rushed kisses, the kind that start soft and quick but build with urgency, as though they couldn’t get enough of each other. He imagines the taste of Sirius’s lips, warm and familiar, the scent of his skin lingering on his clothes, in his hair.

In these dreams, they walk to class together, hand in hand. It’s a quiet thing, natural, like it’s always been this way. He imagines the way Sirius would puff out his chest, a bit more pride in his step, as he brags about his boyfriend to anyone who’ll listen. The proud smile on his face, as if showing off something precious, something only he gets to have. Remus would laugh, the kind of laugh that makes his stomach flutter, because it’s so Sirius, so effortlessly him.

But then, like a shadow slipping into the light, reality creeps in. He reminds himself that it’s just a daydream. It’s just a fantasy. After all, they’re only friends. And he’s fine with that—he tells himself that every time the ache in his chest grows too strong.

But now, Sirius is looking at him. And Remus is looking at Sirius. And Remus is holding a small, delicate necklace in his hand. 

A cruel voice whispers in his head, dark and tempting: Maybe it's not a fantasy. Maybe this is the moment. Maybe it’s always been this simple, this possible. Remus feels his heartbeat quicken. Maybe... just maybe, Sirius has been looking at him the same way. Maybe, in the space between them, there’s nothing stopping them but the gap of hesitation that Remus has held for far too long.

He can feel the heat rising in his cheeks, the sudden tightness in his chest, and the way his fingers clench around the necklace as though it were a lifeline. His thoughts begin to blur, and in the quiet pulse of the moment, everything sharpens. The soft sound of Sirius’s breath, the way his gaze holds Remus steady, the way his lips part ever so slightly—it's all too much.

Sirius is so close. His eyes never leave Remus’s, his expression soft, expectant, maybe even nervous. Remus wants to, maybe more desperately than he ever has, grab Sirius and kiss him.

Every fiber of his being screams for it. The pulse in his chest quickens, his breath growing shallow, as he finds himself caught between the urge to reach out and the instinct to hold back. Its almost painful, how badly he wants it, how much he needs it. All the moments, all the looks they’ve shared, suddenly feel like they’ve led to this—this moment, this decision.

But then, something shifts in his chest. A voice—sharp and cutting—pierces through the haze of desire. Who are you fooling, Remus? Sirius has never, and would never, want someone like you. A boy. A werewolf. 

The thought lands heavy and cold, squashing the warmth that had been building between them. Remus feels his hand hover just above Sirius’s collar, his heart sinking with the weight of it. His mind spirals with doubt, the voice growing louder, relentless. You’re just another friend to him. Just another one of his mates. He doesn’t feel the way you do. You’re imagining this.

Remus’s hand falters, the confidence in his movements draining away, leaving him frozen in place. He suddenly feels very sober.

Sirius shifts slightly, and Remus’s gaze drops to his feet, as if that’s the safest place to look. His chest tightens painfully, and the heat that had been so welcoming just moments ago now feels suffocating. He takes a step back, then another, as if distancing himself from the possibility of something more. His hands tremble, and he feels small, uncertain, as if the floor beneath him might crack open at any moment.

“I don’t know what to say.” Remus says, his voice barely above a whisper, laced with an edge of self-loathing. He doesn’t dare meet Sirius’s eyes. “This is the the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever gifted me.”

Sirius doesn’t move, doesn’t speak. Remus swallows thickly, feeling the lump in his throat, his heart beating too fast.

“Remus, you…” Sirius starts, and Remus can’t look at him. He can’t bear the look in his eyes, the pity he’s sure is there, or worse—the confusion. He can’t bear the thought that he might have been reading everything wrong. 

Sirius sighs, deep and heavy. “Anything for you, Moons.”

Remus wants to cry.