Chapter 3
Lily
Mary tells me Peter Pettigrew arrived on the doorstep, unconscious, with a note from Sirius’s younger brother. The moment she’s done explaining, I bring the blanket over my head and block out the world.
Sweet Peter, who, when I didn’t want to go home in sixth year, ate cauldron cakes on the train with me, until we were both sick, who sang his heart out to Piano Man by Billy Joel on his seventeenth birthday with Remus, who held me when I found out I actually wasn’t pregnant, and that James and I wouldn’t be parents in the middle of a war.
The same Peter who walked into our house three years after we’d all disbanded, and kidnapped his best mate, and gave him right to Voldemort. I want to murder him, if I could find which damned room he was staying in. And if Mary stopped popping her head in every five fucking minutes. I love her, I do, but I can’t sleep with the creaking of the door, I keep thinking it's that freakish house elf. I feel as if she's a mum peaking in to make sure her daughter isn’t running away tonight.
The door opens again and I pop up. “For fucks sake Mary, leave me alone.”
“‘M not Mary, Lil’s.”
Remus stands in the doorway, and the sight of him is so familiar I cry. Tall and lanky, curly brown hair and hazel eyes, his handsome face scared silver, dressed in an old sweater and corduroy pants, his scuffed boots creaking with every step.
He reaches the bed, and crawls in next to me, and I don’t even tell him to take his shoes off because it's Remus, and he's here, and he still smells like him-books and chocolate and chamomile tea and I missed him so much. James is gone, and Sirius has also been a wreck, and Peter can fuck himself, but Remus, strong, brave, dependable Remus. He isn’t crying or shushing me or saying it’ll be alright. He doesn’t sugar coat anything.
“I wanted to see you,” He says, “and to make sure I don’t go into the room and choke the rat myself.” I laugh, but it quickly chokes into a sob. And then I’m being cradled by Remus while I cry. He’s like my big brother, and I long for the simpler days, when all we had to worry about were lessons and how we were going to sneak into Honeydukes.
“We’ll find him, Lily. I swear it. On my life.”
I take a deep breath, and rub my eyes. “We should talk to Peter. Get the information of where they could be hiding him. Torture if we need.” I feel Remus tense. His time in the war makes him hate any mention of torture, even if its on a vile human being. I regret my choice of words but I don't regret my intention.
“Marlene’s going to speak with him when he wakes up,” Remus shifts, moving to get out of bed. “She knows him better than any of us.” He is right. And knowing Marlene, she’ll get in a jab or two, which soothes my thirst for revenge. Remus kisses my forehead, tucks the blanket in a little more, and leaves, shutting the door behind him.