Aurelius awoke in the dark. The nightnare had been vivid. It felt real. Too real and the ever-present, gnawing hunger only added another layer of realism to the whole experience. He could still hear his siblings's screams and pleas as Mary Lou hurt them, while he watched on, powerless to help them.
His hands were clammy, his body shook uncontrollably as he frantically tried to make out his sorroundings.
For a moment he thought he was back in the cold, pitch-black basement, with the rats scurrying about in the far corner.
His stomach twisted at the memory.
The darkness sorrounding him seemed to have a life of its own. Its claws reaching out to him, trying to grab him. To drag him under. Somehow he knew that if they did he wouldn't be able to find a way back to the surface. He would be stuck in the dark for all eternity.
Aurelius tried to calm himself, but to no avail. His breathing quickened and his head started pounding as did his heart. The darkness brought back memories that he had long tried to burry.
He was ten years old. His brother, Christian had just broken a glass during dinner. Ma was furious to say the least. She dragged the struggling child by the wrist and all but threw him into the basement. For a moment there was grave silence. Then they all heard the key turn. Credence watched wide-eyed as the last ember of light gave way to total darkness. Darkness that loomed over his brother like a poisonous cloud, stealing his too precious air. Young Christian had spend the whole night crying, begging for someone-anyone to save him, but no one came.
Just like then he panicked, dizziness hitting him like a tidal wave. He could swear the walls were closing in on him. It made him feel suffocated, like a stone had been placed on his chest, taking away the last of the valuable air. His body was now tight with anxiety and all his attempts at regaining control of his now sobbing mess of a body proved futile. Before he could put together half a thought his legs were already carrying him down the hall. To his father's room, where the man slumbered peacefully. Completely unavere of his son's emotional turmoil.
Aurelius was standing at the door now, his small frame shaking uncontrollably. His hand loomed just a few inches away from the door, but he couldn't bring himself to knock. His body was rigid with fear, every muscle trembling as it was pulled taut. Aurelius's eyes frantically scanned the dark hallway. He was suddenly all too aware of the threat of punishment, hanging over him. What if his father got angry. God what if he would lock him up just like ma did? What if his nightmare would once again become reality ?
Tears welled up in his eyes. What am I doing, he thought. I should know better than this, I am not a child ! I am supposted to handle myself. I am a pathetic excuse for a man.
He was about to turn away when suddely a wawe of fear washed over him. The memory struck him so unexpectidly he nearly cried out from pure terror.
He was lying on the basement floor, bleeding and afraid, when without warning something sunk its teeth into his tender skin, piercing it. The boy had cried out then. Blood filled the shallow wound, left on his arm by one of the surely-infected rats.
Aurelius was pulled from his thoughts by loud thudding. It took him all of a few seconds to realize he was now pounding on the door with all his strenght. Terrified he pulled his hand back, as if burned, but it was too late. His father's tall silhouette appeared in the hallway as the door swung open, loomed over him. He had his wand drawn. Its tip alight. It's gloom illuminated the shadowy hall and Aurelius felt the panic's grip tighten around him even more. His thoughts once again strayed to all the possible ways his father could punish him. He expected his father to be angry, to at the very least scream at him for the disturbance. But the man did no such thing, instead his brows furrowed with worry.
" Hey, what's happened? " Aurelius was utterly shocked by that question. It was not at all what he had expected and it only made him feel dumber and more childish. He hated it.
"I am sorry, I - I didn't mean to, I shouldn’t have - I - please don't be angry " Aurelius blurted out, before he could think better of it. It was like his mouth was acting on its own accord. His cheeks heated with shame.
" You don’t have to apologize, just tell me what happened. Why are you here? Its the middle of the night." even though his father's voice was light, there was an undertone of annoyence that made Aurelius flinch.
" I had a - a nightmare. " he admitted finally feeling his carefully built walls crumpling like a piece of paper. Tears now flowed down his face and he was unable to stop them. His father's expression softened as he gently said " Come in " then guided Aurelius's trembling form over to the bed, letting the boy lean on him for support. He sat down next to him, while still keeping a safe distance between them. The last thing he wanted was to overwhelm Aurelius right now.
His hands rubbing gentle circles on Aurelius's back. It made the boy sob harder.
" Shhh, its okay, I've got you" his father's tone was gentle, soothing. Aurelius found himself leaning closer, desperate for the gingerly touch.
"I am sorry for waking you up. I thought I was back there, locked up again. In the dark. " with each word the feeling of nausea got more intense. He had to fight agaist it as he spoke. His eyes were glued to the floor, the obscurial too ashamed of his past to as much as look his father in the eyes. It was a painful reminder of how truly weak he was.
Aurelius babbled as his voice shook with the sobs that wrecked his entire body. His father looked up at him in confusion.
" What are you talking about? " with a deep breath Aurelius pushed the words out.
" When I was a child ma would... he hesitated, not knowing quite how to phrase it.
"She would.. um, lock us up, in the basement. Even for something as small as breaking a glass or sleeping in longer that we should have when sick" His eyes kept sliding over to the door, as if expecting to see Mary Lou walk through them and punish him for finally confessing.
" Only if we misbehaved though ! " he added hastily upon noticing his father's growing concern. Aurelius's shoulders hunched and the boy curled in on himself, the words clearly costing him a great deal.
" I couldn't stay in my room, the dark it - it seemed to close in on me, I - I felt suffocated, I am so - so sorry. Just please - please don't, don't punish me. I will behave from now on I promise. " Aurelius continued wailing. The sound agonizing. His father hugged him without warning, making the boy flinch again, but not pull away.
" Shhh, I won't punish you, you're safe here lad. "
" What? " Aurelius asked in desbelief, his voice hoarse, raw.
" I broke the rules I never should have woken you up, I deserve to be punished for that, and for the crying.. for everything. " Aurelius breathed, but even to him the words sounded hollow, untrue.
" Aurelius for Merlin's sake I am not going to punish you for a having a nightmare or for needing comfort. Its okay to let yourself feel." the words seemed to struck something inside Aurelius as he broke down again. His chest heaved and his breath came in ragged too quick gasps, seemingly tearing through him every time. Sobs wrecked his body, making him shake uncontrollably.
" I am sorry - " the words slipped from his lips before he could stop them. He didn't even know why he said it. What was he apologizing for? I didn't mean to be so weak, to be childish, I will leave now, I just -" his voice cracked as more unwanted memories came rushing back all at once
" I didn't want to be alone. " he paused for a brief moment, his eyes trained in his lap, before adding.
" I am sorry.. for... for everything "
Aberforth sighed heavily, Aurelius was clearly in no state to be alone right now.
" Please listen to me, you can stay here tonight, okay ? " Aurelius looked shocked, but made himself nod.
" I don't want to be a burden. " the boy piped up, his voice but a whisper.
" You are not a burden, you could never be. I don't mind you staying here, not one bit. " the tears slowly came to a stop as his father's words sunk in.
He was allowed to stay. He wouldn't have to be alone in the oppresive dark any longer. He would be safe here, in his father's gentle embrace.
With a grateful smile Aurelius lied down, closing his eyes ever-so-slowly. This time no memories returned. No fear sprung up inside him. There was just peace. Aurelius had never felt as safe as he did now with his father's arms wrapped tightly around him. Slowly the tension began to ebb away, his shoulders slumping. His racing heartbeat slowed, the beats growing softer. The tremors that had wracked him subsiding slightly. He found himself leaning into the touch, the comforting yet still unfamiliar warmth of it. His previously ragged and uneven breathing got deeper, more relaxed now that his body and mind began to relax ever-so-slowly. Aurelius could feel the fear that had been weighing on him lifting from his shoulders, bringing him some much needed relief.
For the first time in years the obscurial fell asleep without fear as his companion.