on a night like tonight

“On a night like tonight

Are we just two stars passing by?

Wantin' your summer skin pressed on mine

Wanna know what your lovin' tastes like

On a night like tonight”

Regulus was sick of his crush on James Potter. 

He was sick of how no matter how much he hated the older boy, he just couldn’t get over his feelings. The feelings that had just appeared one day, almost a year ago, completely unsanctioned by him. 

Regulus looked up at the Gryffindor chaser. Minutes ago he had been flying across the Quidditch pitch, just a blur of red and brown, but now he was hovering near the Slytherin goal posts, waiting for a pass. The wind gently ruffled his dark brown curls and his Gryffindor scarf streamed behind him. Regulus couldn’t look away.

It just wasn’t fair how good he looked. He should be sweaty and gross at the tail end of a game, not radiant and gorgeous even in the shite weather. 

It was another chilly, overcast day at Hogwarts. Everyone was huddled together, robes pulled tight around them. Regulus, personally, had magically enlarged his scarf and wrapped the swath of green fabric around his head. Barty had made several Babushka jokes, but he had ignored them, smug in his knowledge that he was actually decently warm. 

“And Potter scores again! That’s another win for Gryffindor!”

Bloody James Potter and his bloody talent. 

James flew a victory lap around the pitch, beaming and waving proudly, his quidditch robes billowed behind him. Regulus shivered just looking at him, imagining how the cold breeze at that height would feel seeping into his bones. Although James probably didn’t feel a thing, the way he was like pure sunshine, summer incarnate. If anything he probably warmed the bloody air around him.

Regulus stood abruptly, inadvertently startling the girl in the row below him. She turned and gave him a dirty look. He rolled his eyes at her, too cold to feel apologetic, and she scoffed before turning back around to whisper to her friends. He didn’t care; he was just happy to get to return to the Castle now, back to the blissful warmth of the indoors. 

“There were so many fouls that that dimwitted rat of a ref didn’t call,” Barty muttered darkly, and stood as well. 

Their movement woke up Evan, who had been asleep for Merlin knows how long. He was practically curled into himself in what Regulus assumed was an attempt to stay warm. He shook himself awake, and the three of them headed down the stands into the now steady stream of Slytherins making the walk of defeat back up to the Castle.

“If only you hadn’t been injured, Reg. You definitely could’ve beat them. In fact, they’ve only been on this streak since you hurt your ribs,” Barty continued.

“Don’t remind me. I cannot believe Pomfrey is making me sit out until they’re fully healed.”

“That’s such garbage and she knows it. Doesn’t she have those potions that speed up the process?” 

“Apparently not,” Regulus sighed. “She said if I went back up there too soon that I’d ‘strain them permanently’ or something,” he said, pitching his voice higher to imitate the healer.

“That’s ridiculous,” Barty replied, shaking his head. 

Regulus simply shrugged and pulled his scarf tighter around his head. He could not wait for the warm glass of pumpkin juice he’d have at dinner.

“Could you two walk any faster?” Evan gritted out, apparently harbouring similar desires.

They picked up their pace.

Barty continued his Quidditch tirade the entire way back, shifting to over-analysing every single player of the Gryffindor team and their individual weaknesses. Regulus swore he should just try out, the way he carried on all the time, but he always refused. He didn’t have time, or didn’t want to give his dad a reason to visit, or he didn’t want to wake up that early; Barty had no shortage of excuses. Regulus secretly thought he was just afraid he wouldn’t be any good.

Finally they reached the Slytherin common room and Regulus made a beeline for his bedroom. He was going to throw himself into bed and pull the blankets over his head, try to warm up as much as he could before dinner began. He could not handle another second of hearing about the game, and he knew soon enough Barty would get to the part of the rant about James. No one knew about his unrelenting and extremely embarrassing crush on the Gryffindor chaser, and he intended to keep it that way. Barty would go all in on his analysis, and he simply could not handle that right now. 

Unfortunately, alone in the dark and still quite cold, Regulus found his mind insisted on subjecting him to a play-by-play of James, quaffle in hand, with that look of determination in his eyes… Merlin, that look. Watching from the ground didn’t compare to being up there with him, where he had a front row seat to every flash of emotion that flitted across James’s face, but it gave him new angles to appreciate the other boy from, and that was also dangerous. 

For instance, now he sort of knew what James looked like from underneath him, his curls unruly and face flushed from the wind, and that was an image that Regulus’s mind would certainly run wild with tonight. He groaned, and buried his face into his pillow. He needed to think about something else.

“Reggieeeeee,” yelled Evan as he and Barty barged into his room. 

Well, there was his distraction. 

“What?” he managed, his voice muffled from the pillow which he made no effort to detach from. 

“Come to dinner with us.”

“Don’t wanna get up,” he muttered. 

“What are you even saying?” he heard Barty ask, before the curtains around his bed were rudely yanked aside. The dim evening light filtered in, and he blinked hard against the sudden onslaught of it.

“Get up!” Evan yelled, clearly now much warmer and full of energy. He threw himself onto Regulus’s bed, the mattress dipping quite dramatically underneath him.

“Someone certainly made a quick recovery,” Regulus shot back, but he rolled over and sat up. 

Evan just grinned at him.

“C’mon, I’m hungryyy,” the blonde boy whined as he got up and pulled Regulus to his feet.

“When aren’t you?” Barty laughed behind him. 

“Oi, shut up Crouch,” Evan replied, turning to lightly punch him in the shoulder. 

“Make me,” Barty said, smirking and stepping closer. His eyes shamelessly dropped to Evan’s mouth. 

“Both of you shut up,” said Regulus, stalking past them to the door. “I’m hungry too, and I don’t particularly have the patience to deal with you two all over each other before I eat.”

He headed down the stairs, not waiting to see if Barty and Evan were following. 

The Great Hall was completely full, the four long tables laden with food. Everyone was starving after spending the chilly afternoon outside.

James was sitting at the head of the Gryffindor table, surrounded by Gryffindors and Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs alike, people clapping him on the back and ruffling his hair. 

Regulus swallowed, forcing down his irritation. ‘Ohh, people are touching James’ he thought, mocking himself. He rolled his eyes. Merlin, he needed to get a grip. He averted his gaze as Lily Evans, with her shiny long red hair, sat down next to James and threw an arm around his shoulder. 

That was another thing he couldn’t stand about James. He was the star chaser, the head boy of his year, had a loving and attentive family, had stolen his brother from him, and he was certainly dating Lily, whom everyone was in love with. Not to mention how gorgeous he was. How was it even possible that he had everything ever? It was completely unfair. Regulus almost wished something terrible would happen to him, just to balance the universe. 

He headed for his usual spot at the Slytherin table. A few people looked up to watch him pass, but most of his housemates were staring down at their food, gloomy from the loss and the general cheer around them. 

He needed his ribs to heal, and fast. He could not let Gryffindor keep getting away with this stupid winning streak they were on. At least their next games were against Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, so he had a few weeks to ‘rest and recover,’ as Pomfrey had put it. His team could beat the nerds and the tree huggers without him. 

Regulus sat down and a second later all of his cravings appeared in front of him. Merlin, he loved Hogwarts. Although he was glad to be in his fifth year, he also wished he could stay here forever. He was reminiscing on random good memories, and refusing to allow himself to look up at James across the hall, when Barty and Evan found him.

They sat down across from him without a word. Barty’s face was lightly flushed and Evan’s hair was a bit of a mess. Regulus raised an eyebrow and pointedly did not ask. 

“Hello to you, too,” Regulus muttered before taking a drink of his glorious pumpkin juice. Barty smiled apologetically at him, and blushed deeper.

The three of them sat there in silence, just eating, until Dorcas flung herself down with a thump several minutes later. 

“Where have you been all day?” Reg asked. 

Neither she nor Pandora had come to the game.

“I was working on stuff,” Dorcas replied, shrugging. “I had sooo much to finish.” Her food appeared in front of her and she took a long drink of her pumpkin juice. 

“Maybe you should stop playing Wizard Chess with Panda for hours, hmm?” Evans said, finally taking a break from shoveling food into his mouth.

“I have to beat her, you don’t understand!” She whined dramatically, before shoving a roll into her mouth. 

“Oh, trust me, I understand. I’ve been losing to her my entire life. Eventually I learned beating her is never gonna happen, and I gave up. I’d highly recommend,” the blonde retorted. 

Dorcas rolled her eyes, unable to respond due to her mouth being still full of bread.

“You’d highly recommend what , baby brother?” a disembodied voice asked from behind Regulus.

“Oh, hi Pan,” Regulus said, twisting to look up at the girl behind him. He winced as a flash of pain radiated through his ribs. “Fuck,” he whispered under his breath. 

‘No twisting, ’ he reminded himself, Pomfrey’s voice echoing through his head.

“Hi Reggie,” Pandora replied, oblivious to his moment of pain, and dropped down next to him. She tucked a wayward piece of hair behind his ear and kissed him on the cheek. “Ev is right, you’ll never beat me, Daw.”

Dorcas swallowed. “I can’t talk about this with you right now, I’m too hungry.”

“Did you go an entire day without eating again? You swore you’d stop that,” Barty said, squinting at Dorcas.

She looked away, sheepish. “I got caught up.”

“You could’ve asked me to bring you something,” Barty insisted.

“I know. Next time,” she replied. “I swear,” she added, at the look on his face.

“Anyway, have you all started the herbology essay? Sixteen inches on Mandrakes, I can’t believe it,” Evan said. “That has got to be the dumbest bloody topic ever. Everyone already knows everything about those.”

Regulus nodded, proceeding to tune everyone out. He had finished the assignment already, writing most of it during the last Slytherin practice since he hadn’t been able to play. 

He focused on making his way through the laden plate in front of him. The kitchen elves had really done well tonight, everything was so good. Or he was just that hungry. Either way, dinner was fantastic.  

A few minutes later, he finally allowed himself to look at James. His crowd of admirers had dissipated, and he now sat talking and eating with Evans, his brother, his brother’s boyfriend Lupin, and their friends. 

Sirius must’ve made a joke because James laughed, throwing his head back and grabbing Sirius’s shoulder. Regulus couldn’t hear his laugh across the hall, but he didn’t need to– he had the sound memorised. First his laugh would be breathless and almost silent, and then he’d inhale and suddenly all of the sound would pour out of him almost uncontrollably. The first time Regulus had made him laugh, a random day when they were both talking to Sirius in the hallway, was the moment that Regulus had fallen head over heels for his brother’s best friend. 

Regulus had made a stupid joke then, something he couldn’t even remember now because James had laughed and he had basically blacked out. James had laughed and Regulus’s world had turned upside down and then Sirius had clapped him on the shoulder and said bye or something and then he and James had left, and Regulus had stared after them, his brain short-circuiting. 

“Reggie, what do you think?” Pandora asked, forcing his attention back to the present.

“Hmm?” 

“Barty wants to know the next piercing he should get. I think he should get a lip piercing.” 

“And I think he should do his eyebrow,” Evan said.

“Well, yeah, you’d be opposed to the lip piercing wouldn’t you, Evan?” Regulus said, smirking. “It’s got quite the healing process, I’ve heard.”

“Wait, what’s that supposed to mean?” Pandora asked, looking between her brother and Evan, clearly very confused.

“Uh, nothing Pan, Reggie is just being a twat.” Evan made a face at him, one that could be loosely translated as ‘ shut the fuck up or i’ll make you wish you’d never been born.’

Regulus just smiled back and shrugged. “Yeah, an eyebrow piercing would look good.”

Barty rolled his eyes. “Thanks guys.” 

“You’re so welcome Bartemius,” Dorcas said, leaning against his shoulder.

“Ugh, don’t.” 

“You loveee it,” Evan joined in, pushing him from the other side.

“As if!”

Now it was Regulus’s turn to roll his eyes. The three of them were ridiculous. 

“I’m off to bed, I’m still cold from earlier,” he said, standing. He did not have energy for this tonight. He caught another glimpse of James across the room, who was currently smiling so big that Regulus briefly thought his face must hurt. 

“Night,” Barty said, before turning back to Dorcas and Evan. They were having some sort of argument now, something about the Forbidden Forest. 

“Please don’t leave me here with them,” Pandora begged, reaching up to hug his side. 

“Sorry,” he laughed, hugging her back, careful not to contort his ribs this time. “You can come back with me.” 

“It’s okay, someone has to keep the three of them in line,” she replied, patting his hand. “Goodnight.”

She released him and turned back to mediate. 

Oh, Pandora. She really was the lifeline that kept them all together and somewhat sane. 

He planned on going straight to bed, but he still had too much restless energy. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep, so he cast a quick warming charm and stuck his wand in his robe pocket.

He knew exactly where he wanted to go, but he figured he’d take the long way there. Hopefully it’d tire him out. 

He set off down the corridor, up the grand staircase, past the Ravenclaw tower, and past the classrooms. Finally he made it to the Astronomy tower and started climbing the steps.

The Astronomy tower was his favorite place. Well, except for maybe the Quidditch pitch when it was warm and slightly rainy in the Spring, and he was all alone and free to simply exist, flying around with no audience. But that was a very specific time and location, and the Astronomy tower was always here and always the same. Peaceful and quiet and with a clear view of the night sky. 

Maybe it was a little egotistical to be so obsessed with the night sky, considering he was named after a star, but Regulus didn’t care. If anything, he was grateful to have been given a name that tied him to the beautiful and otherworldly plane overhead. 

He laid down on his back, content to simply stare up at the stars for awhile. 

*  -  *  -  *  -  *

He must’ve fallen asleep, because the next thing he knew he was being prodded awake. 

“Regulus?” 

“Mmmm,” he managed, bringing his hands up to cover his face. “One minute…” 

He felt movement beside him. He dreamily wondered who had come to find him. It probably wouldn’t be Barty or Evan given the way they had appeared at dinner. They were certainly using their evening for ... other activities.

Maybe Panda had decided to spend time with him after all. Yes, it was probably her. 

Pandora poked him again. Of course she’d be the one to come look for him. He loved her so much.

Although, it was annoying that she wasn’t just letting him sleep. He was perfectly comfortable and happy right here. 

“Pannn, lemme sleep,” he muttered into his hands. “I’m so sleepy.”

“Reg?” 

Wait. That was definitely not Pandora’s voice. 

He forced his eyes open, peeking out at the room from between his fingers. 

James Potter was sat next to him, poking Regulus’s arm with his index finger. He was without his Gryffindor robes, wearing only a red sweater and black slacks. 

Regulus panicked, scrambling up and away from James. All of his sleepiness fled instantly. Was it possible to die from embarrassment? If so, he'd be out any second now.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” James whispered, reaching for him before likely realising he probably shouldn’t. He dropped his hands into his lap.

Regulus could only sit there, a few yards away, knees pulled up in front of him. 

“Uh… why- why are you here?”

“Oh, I come up here sometimes,” James answered, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He turned away, looking out the window.

“I didn’t know that,” Regulus said, breathing in deeply in an attempt to calm his racing heart. 

“Sometimes everything gets to be a lot,” James murmured. He was fully facing the windows now, his gaze fixed on something in the horizon. “It’s somewhere to get away.”

“It seems like you like the attention well enough,” Regulus muttered dryly. 

“What?”

“Uh, I- uh.” Regulus hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

But James didn’t get angry like Regulus would've. He just sighed. “I really don’t,” he whispered softly, eyes fixed on the forest in the distance.

Neither of them said anything for a few minutes. 

Regulus let himself stare at James, figuring the other boy couldn’t really see him in the dark. He was fairly familiar with the chaser’s side profile, but he had never gotten to see him in the dark, lit only by the faint bluish light of the night sky. He looked both beautiful and sad. It was also odd to see him without his robes. It felt strangely intimate. 

“I’m sorry for waking you up,” James finally said, and stood. “I’ll go. You were here first.” 

“No, stay,” Regulus thought. Except he hadn’t just thought that, he had said it aloud. 

He clapped his hands over his mouth. Fuck . He never had a filter when he just woke up, and now that had truly come around to bite him in the ass. 

James looked visibly surprised, his mouth dropping open slightly. His very kissable mouth. Regulus wondered how soft his lips would be.

He forced himself to look away. He needed to get a grip. It was bad enough that he just told James to stay ; Merlin, he could not afford to think anything else damning, lest he accidentally speak aloud again. 

“Uh, are you sure?” James asked, after apparently regaining the use of his facilities.

Regulus simply nodded. He couldn’t go back now. He’d just make small talk for a few minutes or something and then excuse himself. He could handle a few minutes with James, it was fine. He’d stay right here, and James could stay over there, there’d be plenty of space between them. 

Except when Regulus nodded, James’s signature blinding smile made another appearance and he stepped closer. 

“Can I come sit by you?” he asked. 

“Okay,” Regulus whispered. Merlin, this night might be the death of him. 

James sat next to him, leaning against the wall behind them and stretching his legs out in front of him. Regulus remained in the same position, his knees drawn up to his chest. They both stared out the windows. 

An awkward silence stretched out between them. 

“All the attention… it does actually overwhelm me a lot,” James confessed after a few minutes. 

“I’m sorry about what I said,” Regulus said, mentally kicking himself. “I just- it seems like… I mean, you handle it really well.”

James sighed and leaned his head back against the wall behind them.

Regulus glanced at James out of the corner of his eye. He was staring up at the ceiling, some unknown emotion in his eyes. 

“I used to like it.” He said. “But now… I’m not sure what happened, really, but now it’s … I don’t know. Everyone is so loud, and people are always touching me, and I obviously have to be nice to everyone, and I want to be nice to everyone, obviously they’re just trying to show they appreciate me or whatever, but then I’m there with everyone in this bubble and there’s so many of them and I just feel like I can’t breathe anymore and people keep coming and-” he stopped, clearly out of breath, and inhaled sharply. 

“Hey,” Regulus interrupted. Before he could overthink it, he reached out and put a hand on James’s arm. “It’s okay. Take a deep breath.”

James nodded and took a slow, shaky breath in. He looked down at Regulus’s hand on his arm.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make this about me. I’ve interrupted your night and everything,” he said after a moment.

“No, really, you didn’t. I swear.” 

Bloody James Potter, with his perfect life which apparently wasn’t perfect after all, stealing Regulus’s spot and making Regulus feel bad for him. But he didn’t even care, it was true. He would’ve given every peaceful night up for him if he asked. He would do anything for him.

Regulus moved his hand away, letting it drop between them. 

“If you say so,” James said, tracking the movement.

“I say so.” 

“I appreciate that,” James whispered, offering him a sad smile.

They fell silent again. 

Regulus fought a yawn. As tired as he was, this might be the only time he ever got to be alone with James Potter, and he was not going to drive him away now.

“So… why haven’t you been playing lately?” James asked, breaking the silence yet again. 

If Regulus didn’t know better, he might’ve thought James actually wanted to talk to him. But he knew that if it wasn’t him up here, it would’ve been someone else. This random late night conversation certainly didn’t mean anything to the Gryffindor. 

“I fell at practice a few weeks ago. Broke a few ribs,” Regulus admitted.

James inhaled through his teeth, wincing. “Merlin, that sounds painful.”

Regulus laughed bitterly. “It wasn’t fun, no.” 

“But couldn’t Madam Pomfrey just heal you? Why would that keep you from playing?”

“Careful Potter, you might make me think you miss losing to me,” Regulus laughed again, teasing, before he could stop himself. Merlin. His lack-of-filter sleepiness really was going to be the end of him.

“Relax, I’ll beat you again as soon as you’re back, don’t even worry. I’m just curious,” James said lightly, but he was smiling again, a real smile this time.

 “She magically healed me, yes, but apparently ribs are hard to fix and require actual rest to fully heal. It’s stupid, if you ask me.”

“Ah. Do they hurt?”

“No. I feel completely fine,” Regulus said, lying. He was not about to get all emotional on James Potter of all people. 

“Really?” James didn’t look like he quite believed that.

Regulus sighed. “Well. If you must know, sometimes I twist the wrong way or move too fast and they do hurt a bit, yeah. But it’s fine. It’s not that often.”

“I’m sorry. I hope you’re fully healed soon,” James replied, turning to look at Regulus in the half-dark. “Don’t tell anyone, but I do miss the challenge. You’re very good, you know.” 

Regulus raised an eyebrow. “Thanks.”

James nodded. He didn’t look away this time. 

Regulus maintained his gaze for a second before turning away. He should probably go in a minute, before he did something he would regret. And if James kept looking at him like that, it wouldn’t take much. Then James would really never talk to him again.

“Reg?” 

“Hmm?”

“I wish you’d hang out with me and Siri more. He misses you, you know.”

Regulus scoffed. “Sure.” 

‘As if,’ he thought. His brother had every opportunity to come find him, and he never did. Not anymore.

“No, really. He’ll never admit it, but he does. He talks about you all the time,” James continued. Regulus could feel the older boy’s gaze still trained on him. 

Suddenly Regulus had an appalling thought, his whole body tensing. “Are you drunk?” 

That would explain why James suddenly wanted to talk to him, why he was actually sharing things with him, why he didn’t just turn and leave when he came across Regulus asleep on the floor. Who was he kidding, of course he was. He must’ve gotten smuggled butterbeer or something, that was always happening after big house-rivalry wins.

“What? No,” James insisted, grabbing Regulus’s arm this time.

Regulus turned towards the older boy, searching his eyes. 

“I’m not drunk and I’m not messing with you, I swear. He really does.” James’s eyes widened slightly, as if he knew that Regulus was searching him for answers and was trying to offer more. 

Unable to see any lie in his demeanour, Regulus simply grumbled, “Hmph. If you say so.” 

“I do. And… I would also like to spend more time with you,” James added, squeezing Regulus’s arm. 

Regulus looked down at the touch, his heart treacherously beating faster. 

“You would?”

“Yes,” James said. And unless Regulus was completely delusional and very mistaken, James’s gaze moved to his lips. 

He swallowed, and Regulus watched the movement of his throat, unable to look away. But then James cleared his throat, and the moment was over. He released Regulus’s arm and looked back to the horizon. 

So he was mistaken then. He was right; he knew James would never be interested in him like that.  

“It’s nice out, isn’t it?” James asked, voice wavering slightly, as if he might cry. 

“Potter?” 

“Yes?” the brown haired boy answered, flicking his eyes back to Regulus. 

His eyes were, in fact, watering.

“Are you okay?” Regulus asked. 

“Of course. I’m great,” he answered, trying for a smile that Regulus thought was probably meant to be reassuring, but it just made him look even more sad. 

“What’s going on?” he asked, genuinely concerned. 

James sighed. “Nothing, really. I don’t know.” He took a breath before continuing, “Everything has just been hard lately. I’ve been so busy with studying, it’s like the assignments never end now, and I’m pretty sure Evans likes me, but I don’t really feel that way about her, and you know… Quidditch. You know what it’s like, I’m sure. So many practices and I love it, of course I love it, but then people just won’t leave me alone after I do anything halfway decent up there. I just wish… I don’t know. That everyone would leave me alone, I suppose. Is that stupid?”

“No, it’s not. I get it.” 

Regulus did get it. People didn’t really care about him at school, besides his little group of course, but he’d been the main focus of his family ever since Sirius left. There was so much bullshit around being the Black heir that for months afterward he hadn’t even been able to sleep to escape it. He used to stare up at the ceiling and imagine he was someone else, anyone else. It was those nights when he had desperately wished that he could’ve had his wand outside of school. He would’ve done anything to charm himself into a dreamless sleep.

James offered him a sad smile again. Merlin, he smiled too much. Regulus was overwhelmed with affection for him. This poor, sad, perfect boy.

He shuffled over slightly, closing the distance between them, and threw an arm around the older boy’s shoulder. His sweater was ungodly soft. Regulus fought the urge to run his hand along James’s arms just to feel the material.

James leaned into him almost immediately. He tucked his head into Regulus’s shoulder. 

‘James is so comfortable with physicality, ’ Regulus remembered Sirius telling him one time, years ago, still shocked despite their close friendship for years. ‘It’s so strange, he just hugs everyone all the time.’  

Regulus bit back a laugh, remembering the perplexed look on Sirius’s face. He didn’t blame him, their parents had never been affectionate with them or each other. Regulus remembered when he first got to Hogwarts and met Pandora and Evan, whose parents had been fairly loving and who had always been attached to each other at the hip since… well, their conception. They had quickly become his best friends and had brought him into their very physically close friendship dynamic. That had taken some getting used to, but now he was every bit as affectionate with the two of them as they were with him.

James sniffed. Regulus thought he might be trying not to cry, and his heart broke. He tightened his grip around the other boy. 

“Sorry,” James muttered into Regulus’s robes. 

“Stop saying sorry.”

“Sor–”

“Don’t, I mean it,” he said, serious. ‘Stop smiling and stop saying sorry or I will scream,’ Regulus thought.

James shifted, laughing slightly. “I just feel so stupid. My life is great, really. I shouldn’t feel like this.”

“It doesn’t work like that. Things can be great, but life is more than just external factors. It’s totally normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes,” Regulus said, attempting to reassure the sad boy in his arms. 

He was not very good at comforting others but Merlin, he would be damned if he was not going to try his best.

“Yeah, I suppose,” James said.

“It’s true. And you might be Mr. Special and Perfect, but you’re not an exception to that.”

“You think I’m special and perfect?” he asked, looking up at Regulus and smirking. 

“Oh, so now you want to make fun of me? Great, Potter, I see how it is,” Regulus teased, faking offense. He made as if to pull away.

“Please call me James,” James said, and somehow shuffled even closer.

Regulus’s arm fell to his waist as a result.

James looked up at him. 

“James,” Regulus whispered, feeling the name take shape on his tongue. He didn’t know when, if ever, he’d actually said the other boy’s name aloud. 

James’s eyes fell to his lips again. 

“Reggie,” he murmured. He reached up to twirl a wayward piece of Regulus’s hair around his finger. “This… this drives me crazy.”

“Does it?” Regulus managed, swallowing against his heart, which was suddenly taking up residence in his throat. This could not be happening. 

Any second now, he expected James to pull away and to leave. 

But he didn’t, and instead he reached up and tucked that stray piece of hair behind Regulus’s ear. 

“It’s always…” James trailed off. “It’s always curling right here,” he said, softly touching a place just by his hairline.

Regulus could only stare at him, mesmerised. James ran his hand down Regulus’s jaw, his touch feather-light.

“I’ve liked you for so long,” he whispered.

“Don’t joke with me,” Regulus said, forcing a laugh. He felt vaguely nauseous. 

“I’m not, really,” James said, his expression so earnest, and sat up straighter. “I understand if you don’t… if you don’t feel the same way, though.”

Regulus tightened his grip on James’s waist, bunching the soft fabric of his sweater in his hand. “I think it’s pretty clear how I feel,” he whispered back. He swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. Merlin, this could not be real life.

“Kiss me,” James whispered, pupils blown, gaze shamelessly flicking down to his mouth. 

Regulus leaned in slightly, intending to just see if James really was serious, and James’s lips found his instantly, immediately, so eager that he seemed to forget his glasses were still on. Their lips met, roughly but gently at the same time, despite the slight obstacle of James’s glasses, and Regulus couldn’t hold back the sigh that slipped from his mouth. His lips were just as soft as Regulus had dreamed. Softer, even.

James pulled back slightly, just to pull off his glasses and mutter “sorry” under his breath, before kissing Regulus again. 

He claimed Regulus’s mouth with a possessiveness that surprised him, reaching up to tangle his hands in his hair and biting Regulus’s lower lip softly. Regulus immediately parted his lips to allow James in, their kiss deepening. He tasted like toffee, sweet and slightly salty. Regulus shifted slightly, twisting towards James. His ribs complained, but he ignored them, barely cognisant of the ache. He adjusted his grip on the other boy, one hand coming up to cup the back of his head. 

He experimentally pulled slightly on James’s curls and the older boy moaned, a sound that Regulus felt might kill him. He mentally filed that away for later. James pulled back, and Regulus couldn’t help but follow him, leaning forward into the space between them. 

“One second,” James whispered, and shifted onto Regulus’s lap to straddle him. He knocked his forehead gently into Regulus’s and pressed a kiss to his nose. 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he explained. He slid his hands down Regulus’s torso, heat emanating from his skin. He did feel exactly like summer, so warm and lovely, as Regulus always imagined he would. The ache in Regulus’s ribs faded.

Merlin, what had he done to deserve this?

Unable to respond, his heart threatening to burst, Regulus simply leaned back against the wall, smiling. James smiled back and rested his head in the crook of Regulus’s neck.

“Merlin, I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long,” he confessed.

“You should’ve,” Regulus laughed, giddy. He rubbed his hands up and down James’s back, his sweater just as soft as he expected, before settling them on James’s hips. 

“Trust me, I’ve had very elaborate fantasies…” James murmured, his breath warm on Regulus’s skin.

“Oh, I’d love to hear them sometime,” Regulus replied, turning to give the older boy a quick kiss on his messy brown hair.

“That could be arranged,” James said, sitting back so they were once again face to face, and then they were kissing again. 

Yes, this was the best day of Regulus’s life.

They stayed there for a while, cosy in the astronomy tower, learning what each other liked under the light of the stars. 

The next day Barty and Evan begged Regulus to tell them why he couldn’t stop smiling, and he simply shrugged and let them keep guessing. He was allowed to have his own secrets; the biggest one being how he was no longer sick of his crush on James Potter.