Six years ago, Regulus would never have thought he’d spend Christmas at Hogwarts with his friends -and Sirius’ friends by extension. But here he was, on the 24th of December of his sixth year, sitting in the Gryffindor common room for what Lily called a Secret Santa. She’d explained the concept to her friends, which include Marlene who’d talked about it to her girlfriend Dorcas, and Dorcas had mentioned it to Regulus and their other friends, which led to a huge secret Santa.
It was against the whole house rivalry thing but it really didn’t matter since the game involved a gryffindor and a slytherin dating and a ravenclaw who usually sat at the slytherin table.
Said game consisted in getting assigned a person in the group and giving them an anonymous present. They had agreed to craft something since some of them couldn’t afford to spend much money on this.
Regulus got Pandora, and he decided to paint her a bookmark. She always lost them so he put a spell on it that’d make it glow and sing her favorite song every time she’d start looking for it.
He chose to paint faeries dancing around a pond and managed -much to his pride- to make them move like every movement had been painted differently. Each time they moved, the painting strokes were slightly different. It was a circle of only twenty-four pictures but the illusion of the painting always changing worked.
There had been an argument over where everyone would gather but the gryffindors won. Shockingly. Even the voting system, which Regulus loved and thought should apply to the Wizarding world, had let him down this time. Stupid democracy, he thought to himself, and the French part in him got a bit angry.
Thus, he, Barty, Evan, Pandora and Dorcas were now heading to the Gryffindor tower, each of them hiding their gifts in their bags.
Sirius was waiting next to the entrance, mindlessly playing with his hair, and his face lit up the second he saw them. Since last summer, he grew closer to them. Since they made that big party actually, after Regulus got used to living at the Potter’s, where Barty and his brother discovered they had similar clothing tastes. It somehow led them to become friends, much to Regulus and Remus’ annoyance.
Turned out these two were also both insufferable when it came to karaoke, and they had a lot of fun being as loud as possible until Effie asked them to stop, otherwise everyone would end up deaf at the end of the evening. They stopped of course, everyone listened to Effie Potter, but it oddly made them close. Regulus didn’t understand how he wound up surrounded by so many loud people when himself was quiet and hated noise.
On the other hand, Regulus and Sirius’ relationship still was a bit unstable, mostly because they were both shit at feelings, but it slowly became better. This secret Santa thing was a way to recreate the brotherly link they used to have as children.
Therefore, he didn’t put him into a hug when he saw him but he energetically waved his hands. He had swapped his usual uniform for a pair of ripped jeans and one of Remus’ sweaters, and his hair was tied with a piece of tinsel. He must’ve stolen it from one of the Christmas trees, it wouldn’t surprise Regulus much.
When they entered the common room, Regulus immediately felt his body warming up. At this time of the year, the castle was freezing and the room heated up by a huge fireplace was a blessing after coming all the way from the dungeons through the cold corridors.
Armchairs and a few beanbags had already been arranged in a circle around the fireplace and were sitting in order : James, Peter, Remus who probably kept the empty seat next to him for Sirius, Lily, Mary and Marlene.
Dorcas straight up went to the latter, who was fortunately sitting in a beanbag, leaving them all the space they needed to curl up with each other.
Barty and Evan sat next to them in a sofa and Pandora followed them to have the seat next to her brother’s which made Regulus close the circle and end up next to…James.
Maybe this evening won’t be as good as he thought, he shouldn’t have hope.
Regulus didn’t hate James Potter. Not completely. However, for three precise reasons, he didn’t quite enjoy his company. First, ever since he and Sirius became friends, Regulus felt like he lost importance to his brother. Basically, he resented James for stealing Sirius from him in some way. Second, he often beat him and his team in quidditch, and Regulus hated losing. And finally, his habit of always wanting to draw attention and succeeding was infuriating. Sometimes, Regulus wanted to scream at him, “you already have all the attention you want from your parents and Sirius, can’t you be happy with it?”. He never did of course.
Apart from that, he was actually quiet when studying in the library when his friends -the so-called Marauders- weren’t there. And his quidditch strategies weren’t uninteresting. Which is why Regulus didn’t fully hate him. They just weren’t friends.
And maybe there was a fourth reason, the cause behind it being the problem Regulus had differencing hate and love. Maybe it was the massive and embarrassing crush he had on James Fleamont Potter since the first time he met him. Maybe it was the fact Regulus never wanted things within his reach.
So when James happily greeted him, he nodded back with a blank face. The peak of the friendliness he could show to someone he didn’t know how to act with, even though he spent half of the summer at this someone’s house pathetically admiring them from afar like he did his whole life.
They put their gifts one by one in a bag probably extended with a spell so that no one could see the inside, then Lily distributed them.
Regulus got a really small box, and, when he opened it, he only found a flower. A gardenia more precisely. He wondered where the person got it. Perhaps in the greenhouse. Attached to the flower was a note taped on a typewriter.
“Find me where words are delivered in a whirlwind of feathers, ask the white lady where I went.”
An enigma. And not written in the best poetry. Great. At least Regulus would have a distraction from his homeworks.
It was easy, Regulus thought, words were written on paper most of the time. What delivered letters? Owls, point proven by the term “whirlwind of feather”. The person must’ve thought highly of themself, however Regulus solved their little riddle in five seconds. He just wondered who the white lady was? Perhaps a ghost he never heard of.
He tried to focus back on the party that was going on but now he wanted to go to the owlery and solve the…let’s call it the Secret Santa mystery. Sounded like the title of a really bad Christmas novel.
Someone suddenly turned up the music and interrupted his thoughts. He vaguely recognized Bowie and immediately knew it was Sirius who raised the volume. He’d been listening to the man all summer, therefore Regulus found himself humming along with the song. Moonage Daydream, he believed.
Without surprise, Sirius started singing and dancing, bringing Remus with him, then James, Peter…and soon Regulus was the only one still sitting. He didn’t hate dancing, he hated being seen by the others while doing it. Besides, he only knew ballet. Pathetic for a sixteen years old boy, he was aware.
Regulus tried ignoring how handsome the fireplace light made James look, with warm reflections all over his hair and how bad he wanted to go and dance with him instead of sitting here like the miserable mess he was.
He got a book out of his bag to escape these embarrassing thoughts and didn’t realise someone was coming near him until the person’s shadow hid the light and prevented him from reading.
Remus was standing right in front of him and had to practically shout for Regulus to hear what he was saying over the music. He just asked if the book was good (Regulus answered positively) and if he wanted to join (Regulus answered negatively, he was good, thanks). The other boy shrugged and went back to Sirius. Annoying lovey-dovey.
Regulus rolled his eyes. He felt a bit lonely with all the couples in the room. Everyone except him, Peter and James were with someone, and Regulus thought he would know it if the boys were dating. It would actually break him, but it was really unlikely to happen.
After a moment, he discreetly put his book and his gift in his bag and left the room. He didn’t eat anything this evening but he wasn’t hungry anyway. Besides, the house elves in the kitchen liked him and he could get some food there if he needed to.
Regulus headed directly to the owlery. He didn’t plan anything this evening -he hoped the party would actually be interesting- and he might at least get over with the Secret Santa mystery.
It wasn’t curfew yet, however he didn’t want to attract unwanted attention and made himself discreet as he crossed the castle’s cold corridors. The sudden freeze made him realise he didn’t put on any coat. He was only wearing a jumper on his shirt -a green one, for house pride of course- and it wasn’t really the warmest outfit. But the creator of this dumb treasure hunt had defied him and he could be quite stubborn if he felt challenged. He now found the Secret Santa idea stupid. If something made him walk in freezing corridors in the middle of the evening, then it was usually stupid.
While he was rambling in his head about the absurd foolishness of the idiotic concept, he didn’t notice he stepped outside and froze in the contact of the cold air of the evening.
It was dark and he whispered, “Lumos”. Small clouds were now forming as he breathed.
Regulus stepped inside the owlery, immediately assailed by the strong smell of bird droppings. Great way to spend an evening, he thought while pulling his jumper collar on his nose.
He looked around him for a clue or something like that. If it wasn’t Lily, Pandora or Remus who made the game, then it would be easy. They were the only ones smart enough to think of riddles hard to solve.
An owl came to him with a letter sealed with a red ribbon. A white owl. The white lady. The creator once again proved themself on not being a very creative person, even though Regulus could recognise the effort put into the gift.
He opened the letter and something fell from it. A lilac. He picked it up without giving it a second thought and read the letter. Well, reading was a bit of an overstatement, since the parchment was blank. Then words started appearing. It had been written on a typewriter like the note.
“You found this letter so fast! It’s not surprising, you’re smart. And impatient. Merlin, you couldn’t wait for tomorrow to investigate? Try enjoying the party instead maybe?
You must be making a hilarious face reading this and I’d love to see it.
I’m sure you’re actually dying to know who imagined this, so here’s the second emplacement: Find a crack where you shine the most, I’ll be there to patch it. Have fun!”
They were driving Regulus crazy. Who the fuck had so much time to spend on this?
The sun was fully down now but he wanted to find who the person was. He had to know tonight.
Think, Regulus, think, he thought. Where did he shine the most? Well, Regulus himself didn’t shine, however the star he was named after could be observed in the Astronomy Tower and was known as one of the brightest stars, although it depended on the time of the year. This part was solved. Next. A crack? Perhaps in the ground, he’d find.
The curfew would be over soon, but it wasn’t a problem for him. When he couldn’t sleep, he loved sneaking out of the dorm at night and going to the astronomy tower. Besides, he knew how to be discreet. He once saw Sirius and his friends out for one of their dumb pranks. They almost got caught while he watched, well hidden in a corner. The difficult part was not to laugh at them running from a really furious McGonagall in a dressing gown. He smiled at the memory.
They could be really reckless sometimes and Regulus loved to see people having to assume the consequences of their actions, usually because he was discreet and never had to do so.
He made it to the Astronomy tower without difficulty and started to look for a crack. He thought he looked ridiculous in this position, almost laying on the Astronomy tower ground in the middle of one of the coldest nights of the year. But Regulus took the challenge to heart. He would find who was the organiser before dawn.
While he was searching for a clue, it crossed his mind that the person who made this could be James. His brain probably didn’t think it would distract him, however it did. Regulus wasn’t a hopeless romantic, far from it, but when it came to James Potter, he was one to daydream. It was a terrible embarrassment for him to be head over heels for someone and yet he couldn't control it.
A change in the pattern of the cold stone under his fingers dragged him out of his ramblings. He blinked and squinted in an attempt to see better. A piece of paper was sunk into a small crack in the floor. He grabbed it and lit his wand to read it. He avoided so far to not drag attention but who cared if someone saw the light? He needed to solve the mystery.
His teeth were chattering and his nails turned purple, signs he had to go inside soon.
A flower fell when Regulus unfolded the paper and, although he planned to read before and look at the flower after, it caught his attention. He took the flower in his hands, amazed. It was glowing. A soft green light. He didn’t know what flower this was but it was utterly splendid.
A voice snapped him out of his contemplation. Someone probably saw the light. Shit. He put the paper and the flower in his pocket. Luckily for him, he knew every corner of this place and instinctively hid in a recess impossible to notice if you didn’t know it was there.
There, in the darkness and breathing carefully, he questioned his life choices as someone -an adult or a prefect- was checking the tower. What was he doing here instead of reading peacefully in his bed? The answer was pretty oblivious -his stubbornness and the possibility of the person behind all of this was James- but he still asked himself.
Apparently giving up, the person left after five good minutes. Regulus sighed and decided to head back to his dorm to read the paper, it would be more wise.
After tiptoeing to the Slytherin common room, he whispered the password and entered, thinking he would have a bit of calm. It was without counting his friends.
Pandora, who apparently decided to sleep here and not in her own dorm, jumped from a green velvet armchair and stood in front of him.
“Where were you, Reggie? We were worried,” she pouted angrily. Regulus tried to
hold his laugh. She looked a bit ridiculous when she was angry but no one ever told her. They didn’t want her to be really angry, because in this case she’d be scary.
“Not me,” Barty shouted from a sofa, earning a hit behind the head from Dorcas.
“Ouch!”
“You guys don’t have to worry, I just took a walk around the castle,” Regulus rolled his eyes. As much as loved his friends, he really wanted to read the paper. “Went to the Astronomy tower a bit.”
“Without your coat?” Pandora asked sceptically. “I think you’re hiding something from us. You didn’t even show us your gift.” Her face lit up, hit by the realisation. “Your supposed walk has something to do with your gift, isn’t it? Spill the tea Reggie!”
“No it doesn’t,” he huffed, acting outraged. He hated it when she saw right through him and decided to abandon this already lost battle. “I’m going to shower, don’t you dare bother me,” he said, “Barty I’m talking to you.” He’d hoped his friends would leave him alone but Pandora protested behind him, “You know I’m going to find what you’re hiding eventually!”
He ran up the stairs as soon as he knew his friends couldn’t see him and locked his curtains with a spell once in his four-poster bed.
Regulus, in fact, planned to shower because he was really cold, but the thought of the paper distracted him.
Thanks to the light provided by a small lamp, he was finally able to read and he was not disappointed. The words started appearing as if the paper was feeling his gaze on it.
“You found all the notes! Congratulations! You must be wondering who organised this little treasure hunt. I’m sure you are. Let’s meet shall we? It’s currently 11pm -quite late if you want my opinion, imagine if Filch caught you? He would’ve confiscated the paper and I don’t want that. It’s not part of my amazing treasure hunt.
So maybe tomorrow? I’m thinking…7 am? Yeah 7am’s great. At the Gryffindor common room entrance. I think at this point you know it’s not one of your friends (or maybe you don’t and I just revealed to you something I didn’t want you to know but that’s okay) so it’s pretty obvious it’s one of the Gryffindors.
7am, Gryffindor common room entrance. See you tomorrow!
P.S.: I hope you like the flowers, they won’t fade. Put them in a vase or throw them in the lake or forget them, they will never fade.”
The first thing Regulus thought about after reading the paper was how much the person’s writing showed their personality. He could practically figure out their whole profile. They must be extroverted, the loud and obnoxious kind, but with a moralistic mum side because who the hell judged people for going to bed at 11pm on Christmas Eve? It for sure included loads of Gryffindors but not all of them.
He mentally drew up a list of all the people matching these characteristics. Sirius obviously. He’d been on his back all summer and acted like Regulus was his responsibility. Fully capable of telling him to go to bed early, get eight hours of sleep or something like that while not sleeping enough himself. And the ego he had to have to qualify his own treasure hunt of ‘amazing’. Sirius-like behavior.
But, as far as Regulus knew, Marlene too was capable of this although she was less responsible than Sirius, if this was possible. This thought led him to think it could be one of the Gryffindor quidditch team members, and that led him to…James.
He really hoped it wasn’t James. otherwise he’d start overthinking every word written on the pieces of paper he collected. He’d go to the library and read about flower language just to see if maybe the flowers meant something. He’d believe he had a chance, when he really didn’t.
Regulus knew he would find out who the person was tomorrow. He knew he could just shrug it off for now and try to sleep to make time pass faster. However he also knew that, even without his recurrent insomnia problems, he couldn’t bring himself to sleep until he figured out any kind of information he needed. Once he had stayed up all night wondering whether some muggles were able to perform magic or not. It turned out the answer was no except in the case where a wizard got classified as a muggle but it was rare and the case was fixed quickly, even if it involved a lot of paperwork.
Regulus eventually went to shower just to have something to do. As he was walking slowly to the bathroom, he caught sight of Evan and Barty curled up with one another on Evan’s bed. They were cute together, he thought.
At the start of their relationship, no one believed their couple would work because it was common knowledge Barty already slept with several people without ever getting attached. He just liked hooking up while Evan made it clear he didn’t want to get intimate with someone.
Regulus, who had watched them getting close since their first year at Hogwarts, had hope for them. Or at least he had acted like he had some in front of Evan, whose past relationships ended especially because he didn’t feel sexual attraction. In fact, he and Dorcas were ready for their couple to not last long. Pandora, the most intuitive of the friend group, had told them Evan and Barty would be together for a long time. As always, she was right.
While showering, Regulus thought it’d be nice to be with someone he felt safe, like his best friends were. Maybe it will be the case in a few hours, a small voice said in his head. Or maybe it won’t, he shut the voice. He didn’t want to hope. Didn’t dare.
He got back to his dorm and noticed it’d been cleaned and presents had been placed near the beds. With the Secret Santa mystery, Regulus almost forgot it was now Christmas. He decided to wait for his friends to be awake to open them.
He spent the rest of the night reading. At first, he’d wanted to do his homeworks but he had ruled out this idea. He was way too tired and distracted for that.
When Regulus checked the time for what had to be the fiftieth time, it was half past six. He got dressed, tried to get his hair in a perfect shape, succeeded, and finally headed to the Gryffindor tower. The castle was still dark and he used his wand to find his way.
During the night, he thought maybe the treasure hunt wasn’t such a bad idea. It made him feel like a novel protagonist. Or maybe it was just the tiredness speaking. Regulus had always wanted to write novels, even though his parents had very little respect for all kinds of artists. He still wanted to and, thanks to a late night talk with Euphemia Potter, he had hope for this future.
After a summer with the Potters, he understood why James had so much confidence. His parents were kind and supportive, no wonder their son grew up to be that way too. His mother had achieved the feat to make him, the self-proclaimed pessimist Regulus Black, believe in his childhood dreams again, therefore she was an amazing human being.
Looking back, his past self would never believe Regulus if he saw him now. Hanging, and even living, with what his family called blood traitors and mudbloods wasn’t really in his plans. The said plans changed a bit when he chose to follow his brother.
They had started changing before this event, now that he thought about it. Perhaps when he found himself enjoying Lily’s company, whose parents were muggles, or when he realised the so-called blood traitors were just tolerant people who gave more importance to humanity than to blood supremacy.
Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t notice he made it to the Gryffindor tower. No one was there. He waited a minute, then two. He didn’t know what time it was but he was scared that everything was fake, of having raised his hopes for nothing. Then the portrait of the Fat Lady made the typical sound of when someone opened it, breaking the silence.
He almost jumped and turned to see an out of breath James Potter going out of the entrance while running his hand through his hair. He stiffened as soon as he noticed Regulus.
“Hey.”
“Hi,” Regulus answered flatly as if his heart wasn’t going to explode.
“So...you liked the little treasure hunt?” James asked.
“Yeah, it was…great.”
The two boys stood in an uncomfortable silence. Regulus vaguely thought the cold light coming from his wand probably didn’t make him look his best.
“I prepared a little speech but er…I forgot everything,” the brown-haired boy said sheepishly. He started running his hand through his hair again. “I actually always lose my words when I’m next to you so I guess I should’ve seen that coming.”
Regulus hated how he was feeling at this moment. Everything felt like a confession except maybe it wasn’t and he would like someone to clarify the situation for him. Reading signals wasn’t really his cup of tea. Even in his confused state, he noticed how adorable James looked while trying to find his words and he also despised himself for that.
“I can’t really figure out how to say it in a poetical and beautiful way,” James said while fidgeting, “but I really like the way your hair floats when you walk pass the Great Hall every morning and how there’s tenderness in your eyes when you say something sarcastic to someone you like because it’s your way of showing affection,” he paused to breath, “and you draw small portraits of your friends in your notes just because you can, which is really cute in my opinion, and you read at parties, and that’s impressive because you can focus with all that noise even if you frown slightly when someone raises the volume.”
He smiled and looked at Regulus, “All these things to say that I really really love you, Regulus Arcturus Black.”
Regulus would’ve laughed at the solemnity using his entire name gave to the moment if it wasn’t his years-long crush who just confessed to him.
“Wait, you lo- like me so you organised a whole treasure hunt just to confess to me on Christmas morning?”
“I- yes,” James beamed.
He seemed so proud of himself, like a kid showing his first drawing, and Regulus thought he really wanted to kiss him right now. Of course, he already had had this kind of thoughts but knowing his love was requited made them a hundred percent more acceptable.
On the other hand, maybe all of this was a prank, a little voice said in his head. The return of the little voice, yay. A well organised prank with the only purpose of making fun of ‘Sirius’ baby brother’ as he already got called.
“Is it a prank?” Regulus asked, and he regretted it the moment the words left his mouth. James looked confused. Regulus didn’t want to depreciate the other boy’s feelings, if they existed.
“Does it look like one?” he frowned.
“No!” the black-haired boy blurted. “Not at all, it's just that,” he hesitated. It was best to say the truth, then maybe there would be a possibility Regulus could get what he wanted for once. “It’s just that the feelings might be mutual,” he said while feeling his cheeks heating up. He felt really vulnerable at this moment and hoped no one would suddenly decide to go out of the Gryffindor common room for whatever reason.
“They are?” James exclaimed, his eyes immediately filled with hope.
“Surprisingly and reluctantly, yes.”
James was practically bouncing on his feet. “You have that tenderness in your eyes right now! The one when you’re trying to be mean!”
“Trying to? I was hoping I’d succeed,” Regulus huffed. For a few seconds, he regretted it then James bursted out laughing. “Why are you laughing?”
“Because,” he breathed, “you can’t hurt my feelings, therefore you can't be mean to me,” he explained like he was demonstrating something in class.
“Are you going to tell me it’s because your feelings are in your heart and you gave your heart to me?” he asked half-sarcastically.
“Actually you stole my heart, but I would gladly give it to you if I still had it.”
Regulus scoffed even though he could clearly feel his cheeks becoming redder than they already were.
James knelt on the ground, suddenly more serious, and said, “Regulus, would you do me the honor of going out with me?”
Regulus stayed silent, almost in shock of what was happening to him.
“You mean as boyfriends?”
“Yes, and take your time to answer but please tell me how long it will take because my knee hurts,” James smiled.
“So it’s not a prank?”
“It’s not.”
The sun was starting to rise and reflecting in the boy’s eyes, giving them the typical shade of gold only brown eyes had. How could Regulus say no to these eyes? Therefore, even if a million things could go wrong, the dark-haired boy whispered, “Yes.”
“What?”
“Yes I will go out with you, James Fleamont Potter.”
There was no word to describe how much James’ face lit up. He wouldn’t be half as happy if he just won the Quidditch World Cup.
He got up and shouted “YES!”
As soon as Regulus realised what just happened to him, he knew no gift would ever equal the one he received that day.
“No gift will ever equal the one I just received!” James beamed.
“Merlin, you’re so sappy.”
“You better get used to it.”