Regulus had always loved the Sun. Not because of it's light, or it's importance in the world, or even because of its vague symbolism in literatures. No. Regulus loved the Sun because it was always there when he woke and it would never change for as long as he would live. It also provided a warmth that he had never experienced inside of the ever-cold manor he had spent many years of his life in. Oh how glorious the Sun was to him. Sirius often teased him for admiring the Sun. He let his brother tease as Sirius couldn't see the significance the giant star had to him in any real way. Sirius didn't understand how Regulus adored consistency and the order of nature. The sun would rise in the East and set in the West. The sun would be in the centre of the sky at noon and fall ever so slowly afterwards. It was the first clock for a reason. It never changed, not noticeably anyways. That's why he loved it. He hated change. That was a fact.
*This was a very particular trait about him that very little around him understood. They accepted it and allowed it to happen but few listened enough to his speedy, frustrated ramblings to fully grasp how much he despised unexpected changes and the unpredictable. To be fair, he didn't completely understand himself why he hated it so much but he couldn't really do much about it unless he decided, in a moment of pure desperation, to lock himself in his room and never coming out until it was necessary. Legally or otherwise.*
Regulus also loved James. Not because of his popularity, or his seeming importance to many people, or even because of how he was a role model to many. No. Regulus loved James because he was always there when he woke and it would hopefully never change for as long as he would live. He was like clockwork. You knew when James would be awake, when James would be ready for the day, when James would be bored of the day and when he's so things after classes. It made Regulus happy that observing James was easy once he got the schedule down. He also provided a warmth that he had never experienced inside of the ever-cold manor he had spent many years of his life in. Oh how glorious James was to him.
He hoped James wouldn't go, he'd be broken if he did. Shattered. Lost in a sea of guilt for even daring to let his light go. He cherished all the love given to him, even if he hadn't shown it in the past, but he loved it. he wanted James to stay, selfishly, he also wanted all the love that James could give him. He craved it, needed it to live, to function, to breathe. God he was selfish in the ways he depended on him. Well nobody could blame him, he had been deprived of everything for years, having to make do with the little he had and nearly breaking when Sirius has revealed that he had found people that seemed better than him. He couldn't believe it. He wasn't good enough for Sirius to keep him as a true brother but surely he was still good enough for Sirius to still talk to him a friendly way. That'll do for now, surely?
Apparently not.
Oh and he had hated Sirius that day, that was a given of a reaction. at this rate. Oh how he hated the fact that Sirius has called James his brother instead of him. He also felt... Guilt. An emotion never reserved for situations like these. Oh why was he guilty. He shouldn't feel this way. He should feel jealous of heartbroken or depressed. Why was he guilty? It tore him inside out, left him restless and unable to stomach anything for days. Why was guilt in his mind and why would it never leave?
He was guilty because he hadn't been enough for Sirius to stay.
That was his conclusion that seemed to be confirmed by Sirius abandoning the family a mere three years later. That broke him. He hadn't been this alone in his own house before, not even when Sirius went to school before him as he knew he'd be back during the holidays but now? He'd never return, never look back and would view Regulus, his own brother, as something other than what he was.
Regulus, poor, broken Regulus, unable to find himself in this sea of terrible events, found James. The charismatic Sunhine boy of the school. Always there, always predictable in his ways. Just like Regulus' beloved Sun.
Oh how quickly he fell in love with him. And oh how quickly did he hate himself for it. He shouldn't be fantasizing about another boy. No. Simply wrong. It was against everything he was taught. Oh but the feeling James have him every time he looked his way. Oh it was simply divine to him. But no. It was wrong. Yet as much as he tried to push it all away, it came back. He felt pathetic, truly, but what could he do? He could hardly look the boy in the face anymore without having to suppress a sheer sheet of faint red across his face and neck. He hated that. Hated that he was rendered so useless by even the thought of this boy. It was a good thing he knew how to hide his thoughts so they wouldn't reach the backs his eyes. That meant he was safe from people noticing his very obvious crush. That was something He appreciated. Finally something of his habits came to use instead of being a tool to bring forth people's worry or annoyance but it still couldn't hide the indecent thoughts about the boy no matter how much he tried.
He couldn't hide from it. Not a chance. He loved James and he had to accept that. It tough I accept, tougher to admit and the toughest get was sorting it all out. Well they managed eventually, after a couple of months of utter confusion and contrasting words from numerous books, people and old love magazines from the last decade.
*That being the 60s for those being attentive so the magazines were quite... Interesting. Regulus could hardly believe that this had been going on during his early childhood. Then again, He could hardly believe anything remotely well known had happened during his early childhood. Oh the joys of sheltered children.*
James was the light of his life, the thing that made him stay. A symbol of hope and he honestly felt like he was in those terribly predictable romance books that had lined Sirius' shelves. The ones that their hated and spluttered at when she happened upon an open page as she roamed the house like a cigarette fumed ghost. They had always found it hilarious when she hastily shut a book that she had innocently picked off a shelf that had happened to be some shoddy romance with less than modest scenes every few chapters.
But this was no time for nostalgia. No. Past is past.
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He was ashamed to say how long it took for him to admit, even to himself, that he even so much as liked James, let alone loved him in the slightest. It took many months of sleepless nights and denial (as well as some teasing from his dear friends) but he eventually couldn't deny the flutter he felt at the slightest thought of the Head Boy of Gryffindor. It was really quite sad how obsessed he was with the thought of getting his attention. Not that it would happen. Of course not. Why would it? What would posses James bloody Potter of all people to pay attention his best friend's touch starved brother?
Well clearly something did posses him because February 14th of Regulus' 5th year took quite a turn. He had hated the holiday with a burning passion, he had always hated it ever since he understood that he had nobody to celebrate the occasion with. It was a bitter truth and he had just accepted it.
The day was going normally, plainly and sickly with love in the air. Barty and Evan possibly snogging in the forms of doing something more.. Vile, Regulus shuddered. He looked down when an owl had dropped a letter on his table during breakfast, he had been expecting a complaint letter or prissy invite to a fancy family event from his parents but he found himself looking at a simple white envelope with nothing but his name on it. Odd.
Looking closer, a small flutter fled through him as he recognised the hardly legible chicken scratch that had been seen on the letters Sirius had received. He always questioned how his brother could read such terrible handwriting but had said nothing of it. Well. Now he was faced with it.
Damned, stupid, careless Potter and his reckless behaviours.
How did he not think through sending a letter on February 14th? To him of all people? Did he not think through this in the slightest? The implications could mean-
No.
No. No. No. *No.*
It can't be, can it?
Damned, stupid, careless Potter and his reckless behaviours.
*See, Regulus was not find of James being reckless. He was predictable in all the right ways but also in the wrong ways. Don't look as confused. It's quite simple. He was predictable in ways that were normal for a person to be predictable. The exact times he took his annual twice a day runs. One at 6 in the morning, one at 8 in the evening, the clothes in which he wore, his classes for the week, the days he was with his friends in the library being quiet to once in their lives as they planned their usual mischiefs and the day on which he did his homework. The standard for a functioning person with far too much time on their hands and far too careless for their own good. Then there was the predictable chaos. When the pranks would set up, where they were set up and what they would do, where James had placed himself throughout the day as well as when James would finally shut up outside of his peace in the library. It was torturous to hear his voice everyday but only torturous as it made his damned heart flutter. Not that Regulus would admit this to anybody.*
Regulus couldn't believe it. He hadn't even opened the envelope, it still laying unopened and pristine between his fingers, but he was sure of the context that lay inside. He took a shaky breath before making looking up and catching eyes with James.
Great. Perfect. Glorious. Just what he needed on the holiday he hated most.
Despite this, he held the eye contact and slipped the letter in his pocket. Never in his life had Regulus been so bold in his actions but it was now or never, take his chances of leave the thoughts of things ever happening between them open ended in the past. He hated that. Despised it. He despised the fact that it came down to this. Despised Potter. Despised February 14th. Despised everything.
As soon as the fateful bell rang for the end of breakfast, he walked, almost ran, near sprinted, out the door. Everything was whirling in his mind. Thoughts of James and his daring move to send a letter, of all things on this day. Thank God he didn't have classes today, he'd be too shaken to participate. He'd never wish that form of himself up in any of his teachers. It was a horrific sight. Only Sirius and his close friends saw him like that. He'd always apologise to them, no matter how many times they insisted that it was alright. He never understood it, could never get his head around why they were so alright with him being so pathetic. He was meant to be strong, surely. He couldn't crack so often. Not in his opinion which in reality was his parent's but he wouldn't admit that he was so affected by it.
It was against his mental set of rules. He wouldn't share anything too damming about his family, he wouldn't share how his parents affected him, he wouldn't share where he went during the school holidays and he certainly didn't share his stance on certain matters. No matter who he was talking to and what he was talking about. It was ingrained into him that privacy would stop the questions after a while since it would become his persona to the public eye. That's exactly what happened. His anxiety as a ten year old, his plan as a ten year old, had come into use and it had worked out perfectly. Nobody has dared question him when he ignored personal questions, nobody dared ask them anymore. Perhaps in fear of what he would do as he was apparently quite skilled with magic and could cast listless spells without word or wand, well as rumours went anyways°, or perhaps they had learnt that he wouldn't answer regardless and would just leave the question hang in the air until the asker got uncomfortable with the silence. The latter was mostly the truth. Well. Key word being 'mostly '.
°*people also knew that Regulus could be as cold and heartless as to purposefully utter the spell slowly to make the person fear the impending consequences whilst casting it wordless just as he had finished the stalled threat. He knew it was cruel but he found some amusement in toying with their fearful little minds like the half-sadistic boy he was. That was* also *a fact. One that many had to accept with shaky hands and how to never cross him again*
He sighed and turned a sharp corner, heading down the stone steps to the Slytherin dungeons but still failing to avoid the merry students in love, holding hands or being disgustingly affectionate. This was why he never left his room during February 14th. Sappy couples walking in the corridors made him ill with jealousy he didn't know could increase with every year that went passed and it filled him with true anger every time he saw James with a new person hanging onto his arm. It drove him mad. Absolutely insane. Merlin be damned. He couldn't stand it. He just couldn't.
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*Back in the Slytherin dorms*
Regulus was stuck at his desk, in true desperate fashion. His hands were shaking and it terrified him how effective James was in his head. Gosh even the thought of James and his charming personality, gleeful smile and beautifully toned bo- Nope. No, no. Not the time. He had to focus. He could not be distracted but impure thoughts of James Potter. He knew better than that.
He fished out the letter from his pocket and carefully opened with a strange worry of damaging the parchment as if it actually mattered to him. In a way, it sort of did matter. It was from Potter of all people and Potter was admittedly his crush because He was apparently just that lucky.
He pulled out the letter from the envelope and held his breath for what was inside. As He carefully unfolded the parchment, his eyes landed on the word "love" and his heart near stopped. He hastily finished unfolding it with slightly shakier hands and read it. It went along the nearly illegible chicken-scratch lines of:
"Dear Regulus,
I've been waiting for a perfect time to address you and I will admit the procrastination did beat me to it a few times. No time like St Valentine's day for declaring this simple message. I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable or if it even makes you hate me even more but, Merlin be damned, I'm desperate. Sorry again for what's to come. I know you have your grudges against people spilling their heart out.
Sirius would kill me if he knew what I was writing, good thing He spends more hours asleep than awake so his avid curiosity won't end up with me in the infirmary. Or you in a very intense argument.
Back on track though, what I wanted to say was that I love you. It's true. It's absolutely true. I've loved you since my 4th year. I'm sorry again if this is weird and I understand if feeling a aren't the same. I just needed to tell you it before I get driven absolutely mad by how I feel.
With love,
James Potter.
P.S. Sirius misses you. Please try and talk to him soon before he loses himself in guilt. It's gotten to the point where even Remus can't help his panicking, he needs your reassurance. He's barely hanging on. It's a sad end to this letter, I know, but I need I tell you before he shuts down. If you looked at him during he's a fit longer than a couple of seconds, you'd see that he's hardly eating. Please don't feel guilty, I'm just letting you know."
Oh. Oh Merlin. Trust James to be like this. His letter was chaotic and barely legible but it held so much power over his heart. Potter be damned. He loved him? James Potter, sunshine boy, loved him. This was too much but the last bit caught his eye. Sirius missed him? Since when? Sirius hadn't even talked to him properly since he left. And he blames himself for the distance? Regulus sighed and read and re-read the letter over and over again, making sure he committed every last word to memory, every line break and ink blotch on the paper. Sirius missed him and James loved him. His beliefs about them were lies then. But one thing stuck to his mind.
James loves him. Oh James loved him and how he loved him back with everything he had.
He looked back at the still empty parchment and quill that day abandoned on the desk. When was the last time he had sent a letter? He almost never did that. He just didn't see the point. Well he was sending a letter now. To damned Potter of all people.
What happened in his life to make this happen? Why was this happening? Why him? Why not a better suitor? Both for him and James. James didn't deserve him. He didn't deserve James. He didn't know if it was because he was too good for him or just not good enough for him. He was too conflicted, too close to panic to make a clear decision. To decide his worth or James's worth. It was all too much for what was meant to be 8 in the morning of a plain day filled with his roommates spending half the day in a singular bed. Ugh. The pair was just so... Unashamed with their activities.
After a few deep breaths and some embarrassing self assurance, he reluctantly picked up his quill and quickly wrote as neatly as he good. After all, he had to be presentable if he wanted to set this up. This is how it went:
"To James,
Be grateful I even decided to write back. I have a semi-important message for you based on the context of your most recent letter. Please visit me in the Astronomy Tower. 8pm, don't be late or all attempts from you further on will be ignored. I expect punctuality from the head boy of Gryffindor.
Regards, R.A.B
P.S. Thank you for telling me about Sirius. I'll try and organise something with him at some point. I'm sorry to here about how he's dealing with his decision. Hindsight 20/20 and all. Please try to keep him present for as long as possible. Don't let him slip too far into his own mind, for everybody's sake."
Short and sweet. That's how it had to be before he ended up writing a novel about how much he loved him and had to send it way later than intended. No matter how cold he tried to be, the letter was still a bit affectionate. He couldn't really help it. Not at this rate.
Especially about his concerns for Sirius. Letting Sirius slip into his own mind was dangerous. Regulus had been there when it first happened. Sirius was lifeless and practically dead apart from the basic signs of life like breathing and a pulse. He hardly blinked, eyes empty and voice hollow when he was present enough to talk. It scared him and even got a reaction out of his parents which was rare so it definitely has to be concerning. Nothing ever got bad to an extent that their own parents went easy on him, even being on the brink of death didn't stop them. But this. This was different. Far, far different. He had been dead inside. Not physically dead, or ill, or even insane. Sirius had been dead-like, still as a corpse during those often moments where he just sat there, looking through the floor. Sirius had been ten at the time, Regulus being freshly nine, and both had been very lively, despite everything around them so this-
Regulus felt ill as he recalled it all, everything flooding back all at once with sickening speed. Just like he had been at the time, he bit back bile. The thought of it happening again, at the thought of almost losing Sirius to his own mind again. 7 years later.
Regulus shut his eyes, leaning his arms on the table and his head in his hands. He had to do something about this.
It took a lot of care and gentle treatments after many weeks at that point to extract Sirius back from wherever his mind had retreated to.
When Sirius was asked about it, he had wearily given the answer of asking what day it was and what time it was, later providing the fact that he hadn't even known he was done out for two weeks and that he didn't even remember any of it. Odd.. But very concerning and extremely worrying for how Sirius dealt with situations. At the time, Regulus had been half aware of Sirius appearing out of his room less and less over the span of a month after an incident that Sirius had been blamed for. Regulus was off at an event with his father on the day it happened so everything he knew about the incident was from the stubborn, stammering and vague words of Kreature. He hadn't exactly expected Sirius to become this lost after the event but nobody would tell him why it was happening or what was going on. It frustrated him. Nobody ever told him. He was always left in the dark.
He had wished to never have to see or hear that again since it was like watching a zombie go to about a programmed routine. The dead look in his eyes, the inability to speak with a hint of life, the-
Regulus shuddered from the early memory and decided that it was better to block it out and go about his day, hopefully avoiding James in any way possible so he could also avoid questions. His mind suddenly wandered to what couples did and he spent the rest of his day waving the thoughts out of his mind.
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*In the Astronomy Tower*
*19:58*
Regulus waited by the door, fiddling with his sleeves, dressed in his regular day clothes of a casual black t-shirt he might have stolen from Sirius, some loose jeans, a pendant of his family crest, and a simple silver ring. It wasn't much but it was better than the stuffy uniforms by quite a significant margin. The shirts clung to him in the wrong way, the trousers had seams in odd places and the robes were made to fit everybody but do it fit nobody. He could hardly handle the stuffy feeling the clothing gave him on a regular basis, and the ties. Godric be damned, the ties. They made him feel like his neck was being weighed down by cheap fabrics and a messy thread in some half-assed factory in the middle of nowhere. He had always hated things like that, they're cheap yes, he'll give the school that but they felt so.... Disgusting? Yes, disgusting. That was the word.
*You see, Regulus quite didn't like cheap and fake fabrics found in most uniforms and fast-fashion crud. His upbringing was surrounded in rich fabrics though quite a lot of them were still itchy and made him want to claw his skin off. Not that he was allowed to have a say in the materials he wore, though. If the event called for silk, he's begrudgingly put the fabric on and so on and so forth with all other types of fabric he loathed with a yet to be matched passion.*
Hearing familiar steps, his heart stopped. He'd gotten the letter. James was actually coming up to meet him in the tower. Regulus had hoped and prayed that the owl would have refused to send it or something quite impossible that followed that same line of thinking. It was wishful and somewhat stupid considering Regulus' perceived intelligence and critical thinking in critical times. James followed through. That's all he could think about. Oh Merlin-
This was really happening. He was confessing to James. To his face. Soon and pretty much right now. How long could he stall before James caught on? Shit-
He wasn't prepared in the slightest. Great. Fantastic.
He put up his mask of indifference and stood expectantly at the top of the stairs. He wanted to smile at the boy and treat him with love and affection but it wasn't possible. Not yet. He had a reputation to maintain. He hated it but he had to make do. He was only a few steps away from being able to let his guard down. Oh the joys of being so paranoid of how he's perceived that He could barely perceive himself as something other than his ordinary self.
*How ordinary he really was was a mystery to people, readers. Calling him any form of normal would be like pointing at a mouse and calling it a bird. Quite a contrary observation. Then again, He really had no clue what ordinary was. Not only was he a wizard but he was also in a household where the extraordinary constantly surrounded him (amongst other things) with little exposure to the outside worlds. It's quite a crude reality when you figure out what that does to a young mind during its development. Nobody really knows how this affected him though, there was no true way to do it. He's refuse to share as he didn't even know himself and he also somehow knew how to guard his mind from those trying to enter it. Strange one, that boy. Apologies for the long footnotes. Narrators are allowed opinions, yes? It's a given fact but many are just too afraid to say them and make the writers put it down on paper. Cowards.*
He saw James appear from a corner from the stairs and braced himself. James was wearing his default. Red and white t-shirt with standard jeans. Stereotypical, plain and simple yet Regulus was drawn to it. The way the outfit hung on him drove him insane. James had no right to look like this. He had no right to be so... Pretty. Regulus swore he was going to have a heart attack at this rate.
"Potter," he greeted him coldly and oh how he hated it. He had no choice and it pained him to be like this around people he liked but he reminded himself it was necessary to keep up a reputation, "I see you're on time. I guess you took my words seriously. Shocking. You never take anything seriously other than your beloved sports."
James grinned and he had to take a second. He loved it when he was the cause of his smiles. It was sad, it really was. He was so shamelessly (well he was a bit ashamed) obsessed with him. He was two days of yearning and pining away from giggling over the thought of him, drawing cute little sketches of him and writing their initials in his journal like he was some love sick teenage girl. It was pathetic really.
"Of course I took you seriously, I wouldn't want to miss the only chance I'll get get to talk with you privately, Reggie"
Oh dear Merlin, the butterflies. How was he going to make it through this?
"Don't you dare call me that," He had to force out the accusatory voice he was using, guilt rising in his throat, "you're already on thin ice from that letter this morning."
Lies. All of it. He had loved that letter and it was tucked under his pillow for future re-reading like the lovelorn teen he was.
"Sorry, sorry" James chuckled and Regulus almost slapped him for daring to sound so nice whilst doing it, "So you've read the letter and sent one back. Admittedly with more decency to send it to me in private, why did you ask for me to meet you up here so insistently?"
Right. That. The (hopefully) one step that was between getting to have James all to himself. He hated confrontations, whether it was an argument, confessing something, asking for something missing from what he asked for or even telling a stranger that they're wrong in a discussion. It all scared him. He had this innate fear that somebody would have a go at him for even daring to say something back. He didn't why he did it and how it started. That's what he told most people around him anyways.
He looked away from James, his fingers twitching and instinctively going to his ring.
Dammed nervous habits.
"Straight to the point? That's unusual for you," it was hardly the biting comment he had wanted it to be but this was good enough, "well I guess I have to follow along with that.."
He had to ignore the way James raised an eyebrow at his suddenly less than confident demeanour. Damn it, damn it all.
"Go on then. We have all night." James was always the reassuring one. Regulus wondered if there was something more under the caring personality. There most certainly was because surely nobody can be this happy and caring all the time without being somewhat... Down.. Inside in more simple words. He had his speculations and they were definitely tempting to bring up but it wasn't the time of even his place to ask and, even if it did sound slightly selfish, it would ruin his reputation if he did ask. Such a shame...
"Well..." *Stop stalling, for fucks sake,* "I guess I better tell you and be honest" he was stalling so badly, He knew he was being a bit weak but this terrified him. He almost feared how James would react. Then again, he feared how most people would react, he always did whether he allowed it to seep through to others or not. He didn't show it often but he was capable of feeling more than the cold indifference he put out for many others.
"I love you too." He sucked in a breath, not daring to break the tenseness in the tower.
Oh dear. He said it, he bit his tongue to keep himself from saying more but he had done it. He had admitted to James about his feelings. He was both proud of himself and embarrassed about saying this. He avoided all eye contact. He flinched when James out a hand on his shoulder, he often did flinch when people touched him without warning. He let out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding and leaned into the touch like the cat that he had been so often (and accurately) compared to. He had heard it all from everyone. It didn't help that his name was derived from a star in the Leo constellation which is, you know, a big cat, and he also owned a cat familiar which wasn't really a familiar but a stray cat he'd found when he was 10 that his parents had begrudgingly allowed him to keep as long as he took care of it by himself with minimal advice from Kreature. It wasn't a regular childhood experience but then again, what was in his situation. What he thought was normal turned out to be horrific and completely worthy of getting authorities involved to other people. Oh well. He loved the cat and the cat seemed to live him back, always an upside to a down hill. Even if he did always look down.
"I'm sorry, James" he had finally said James' first name even if it was found in a small apology, looking to the floor and suddenly finding the cracks in the floor very intriguing.
"For what?"
*'For even asking you to visit me,'* he thought but chose a less emotional response to suit the with at hand. It didn't suit him to be so openly... Vulnerable. Ugh.
"For that." He sighed, "I love you, I really do, I have done for a while but I haven't had the heart to tell you... It's kind of sad how long it took."
He didn't know what he was saying and why he was saying it. He really should have left it at 'I love you too' instead of explaining himself. Damn it. Damn it all. He was so stupid. What would he think? He was sure he had ruined it all. Then he was snapped out of the well of self pity he had been dipped into.
"It's ok, you know?" Oh he hated that. It wasn't ok. It was far from ok. He had just confessed that he had loved him, over explained it and apologised now James was comforting him and-
He should just accept it...
"Then what does this make us? I mean we know we like each other and all that so... What happens now?"
It was a stupid question but he needed to know, yet he dreaded an answer.
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So that was how Regulus Black, poor, young Regulus Black, managed to find love at long last. He managed to find something (someone) he loved more than the Sun and something he hoped would last just as long as him in the end. If course there were the doubts that anybody with a significant amount of backstory could only have. He knew that James wouldn't last as long as the Sun and he knew that he himself wouldn't last as long as long as his beloved Sun they he and James would last for just as long as he would live. Well at least he hoped and begged to every falling star. He hoped and begged for so many good things about his life.
He had finally reconnected with Sirius (explained perhaps by a future narrated tale of this poor boy of the writer has enough angst left in them°), He was finally with James, he had made it through the majority of his final year now without cracking like he had expected (maybe thanks to finally having a support system but he had yet to fully gather the fact that he was loved by so many people so let the boy figure it out on his own) and now he was even planning on with James into his family home. He would be with Sirius again but in a much more... Accepting environment than his previous one. He was excited, well about as excited as he could be now after all that had happened with him. He had gotten quite the bad deal of cards in his life but now he was out of the dark thicket that was his parents' iron grip and finally living his life like he had always dreamed of as a child, otherwise known as his lonely years despite Sirius being right there but he didn't really complete the need to a life outside the concrete and brick walls of the manor.
°*Hopefully by somebody else, I can't handle more sob stories about the two of them, the writer simply refused to make the two have a somewhat stable relationship. All thanks to them, though. I've got to get money somehow. The writer gives me a job and so I do it, I read out their notes for you to enjoy.*
Figuring out what his relationship with James was, well it was quite difficult. They couldn't figure out what stage in the relationship they were in and when and how and why but eventually they stopped caring so they fell into a cycle. A loving cycle. One that was filled with tender affections (sometimes more than just the affections were tender afterwards but that wasn't his place to say or share with the general public) and soft "Love you's" whenever they "happened" to meet in Hogsmeade or during the holidays when he decided to "tutor" James during the holidays. He certainly looked forward to settling down with James, they had talked about it on the late nights they could spend together before James had left his 7th year. Nice times. Of course, he had spent some days in James's house with his family and Sirius. It was like what his childhood self had dreamed of. A nice loving family, Sirius and finally being at peace. Dream life.
*Good for him, really. Lucky boy, there are lights at the end of the tunnel, despite however long the tunnel is.*
Now he was in love, the Sun was still rising and Regulus doesn't hate Valentine's day as much as he used to as now he had to reason to celebrate. It was sweet and he had celebrated three already with James each of which he found himself looking forward to every year. He never thought he would go this soft in his life but here he was, charming James half to death and using every chance he can to be affectionate. He knew he was being a bit of a kiss-ass but he was allowed to be a bit of one with his partner, right? It was only right. One of the only times it'll be acceptable. Plus he couldn't be blamed. Being deprived of affection makes you crave every bit of it.
Life was sure going great. He could settle with this. He certainly will now.
The end.
-With love,
A Narrator with whom you've listened to.
*Thank you all*
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Record of M.O.M archives ©1979- all rights reserved.
Written and recounted by Dean Medixal, Chief Manager of The Archive of The Ministry of Magic