Discussions between siblings
Harry woke as the door creaked open. It was a response engrained in him, left over from a lifetime spent with the Durselys. With them, each moment spent unaware increased the chances of him being hurt. So he quickly learned to wake up at the slightest change.
Still, he knew it was Hermione. There weren’t many other people who would dare enter the room, not when the rest of Hogwarts was still out for break. Not only that, but the majority of the school didn’t know about the room of requirements. It was one of the best places to hide, especially when you wanted to get away with something.
That was the only reason he didn’t startle as a small hand carded through his hair. It was comforting, something which, admittedly, he hadn’t received much of.
“Bed time,” Hadrian mumbled as he pushed his head further into her hand. “Goodnight.”
She huffed, playfully tugging at his hair. “You can’t go to bed yet, we’ve got too much to talk about.”
“I thought you wanted me to sleep more.” He glared at her, though the motion was more playful than anything.
“Just his once.” She smiled fondly at him, before tugging him off the bed. “Let’s go before you wake up your kid.”
He couldn’t deny that logic, especially with how hard it had been to get her to sleep in the first place. Still, he wished he could go back to sleep as well. That was his baby in there, his precious child that needed all the love in the world. She had gone far too long without the shelter and safety that her parents provided.
Unfortunately, Hermione was right, there were far too many things to discuss before he could join his child in sleep.
So tiredly, he followed his sister to the living room the Room of Requirements had provided them. The room, sentient as it was, always knew what he needed. It was like Hogwarts in that way; the castle had always favored him and his siblings. After all, Dumbledore was never meant to be headmaster. Like always, he had bullied himself into the position, doing whatever was needed to gain power in the magical world.
It wasn’t a new behavior, Hermione’s research had taught him that. The stories singing his praise and victory over Grindelwald were wrong. There had been no fight, no drawn-out battle between two fierce enemies. Instead, it was a lover’s quarrel, a disagreement over the method to be used to gain power. It was an argument Dumbledore won through an intimate act. Pity it fooled the wizarding world as it did.
Maybe if it hadn’t, his parents would still be alive. Maybe it would have prevented Tom Riddle’s descent into madness. Surely it would have, as Dumbledore’s obsessed need for fame had been the catalyst for his mental and magical decay. In the hopes of remaining the wizarding worlds savior, he created a new villain. Shame it didn’t work out that way. Maybe then, their courtship would have been soft and gentle, rather than marred with blood.
“Harry.” The hands on his face pulled him from his thoughts. He didn’t know what he would do without them.
“Yeah?” Heavy eyes met theirs, leaning into the gentle touch his true family provided. This was so much better than the Dursleys, so much better than the life he once thought he was doomed to.
“We need to talk about our next step.”
He smiled, a huff of laughter escaping him. “You’re always so prepared, you’re the best sister ever.”
Her gaze softened, briefly meeting the redhead’s eyes before returning to their younger brother. “And you’re the sweetest little brother in the world.”
“I’m so tired.” Harry breathed, eyes fluttering shut. “Sometimes I think it’s too much.”
“Well that’s why we’re here,” Ron murmured, pulling the younger boy to his side. The size difference between them was ever present, something that the red-head hated. Harry was so small; no doubt an unfortunate gift from the Dursleys. It’s how he’d come to Hogwarts, yet no one had ever noticed. Malnutrition had been the bitch that kept his baby brother from growing any taller
“We will always love and support you, no matter what.” It was a truth that Ron and Hermione would reinforce time and time again, one that Harry had yet to understand himself.
“I don’t deserve this,” his voice broke. “I don’t deserve any of this.”
“You do,” Hermione said firmly. “You deserve all the love and care in the world.”
“You should always have had that.” Ron said. “You never should have been left in such misery and pain.”
“I don’t know if I can do this.” He scratched at his arm, breath hitching. “I should be grateful for my mother’s sacrifice, but sometimes I wish I died with them.”
“Oh, no,” she sighed, reaching to grasp his hands softly in hers. All she ever wanted to do was spare him the cruelty of the world. For all the Dursleys had done, he was still naive in so many ways.
“This life is so heavy, so painful, and I don’t know how much longer I can do this.” Harry rubbed at his eyes, sniffling. “I know you guys love me, and Delphini needs me, but sometimes I just want to sleep and never wake up.”
“That’s not healthy, you know that, right?” Ron asked, brushing a hand through his hair. “No one is supposed to feel that way, especially one as young as you.”
“I’m not a child.” He bristled slightly before a calming hand was placed on his arm.
“That’s not what we’re saying,” Hermione said. “We just want to help.”
“I know,” he whispered, going limp. “Sometimes I can’t bring myself to believe I’ll grow old.” It was an unspoken truth that had lingered in the back of his mind. The thought was neverending, eternal in the way it was engraved into his very being.
“Harry-”
“No.” He shook his head, pulling himself together. “There’s no point in thinking like that, there’s too much to do.”
“That’s not healthy.” Ron murmured. “You can’t just repress shit like that, you gotta process it and shit.”
The curly-haired girl sighed. “Ronald, nothing in this fucking castle is healthy. Everyone needs fucking therapy here.”
“Especially Snape.” Harry mumbled grumpily. “Clearly, the sex with Sirius isn’t enough.”
The red head coughed. “Did you just say Snape, Sirius, and sex in the same sentence?”
“Yeah.” He scowled. “The fuckers getting down with my godfather while he picks on a damn child for being the son of the man he hated.”
Because as much as James Potter had been cruel, Severus had paid it back. Their battles definitely weren’t one-sided, especially with how angry both boys had once been. Unfortunately, the death of James Potter wasn’t enough to thaw his anger and cruelty against the Potter bloodline. Neither had the adult relations between the last surviving link between Snape and Harry himself.
“Does Sirius know?” Hermione asked hesitantly. “Does he know how Snape has treated you?”
“No.” He closed his eyes. “It’s easier that way.”
It truly was. It was easier for everyone. It was easier for Sirius to pretend like the world was perfect. It was easier to pretend the man you’re fucking relentlessly bullies your grandson. It was easier for Remus to sit back and do nothing, for him to avoid building a relationship with him. It was easier for Sirius to run off on his godson for a pointless revenge quest that led to child abandonment and abuse. It was easier for Sirius and Remus to say nothing to avoid a fight.
It was easier for Harry to stay quiet, so avoid picking a fight. It was easier so that he might preserve a moderately safe place to stay outside Hogwarts, because even a hostile environment there is better than the abuse given at the Dursleys house. And fuck if that didn’t hurt, to know that the men who were supposed to raise you as their own did nothing because it was easier.
“But he’s your family, mate.” Ron urged, though the urgency didn’t quite match his eyes. He had never been the biggest fan of Sirius Black, but family was family. “That’s something your godfather should be aware of.”
“No. You’re my family.” Harry said firmly. “Besides, things with Sirius won’t last. Things like that, they never do.”
“You don’t know that for sure.” The curly haired girl protested, though it was rather half-hearted. While she yearned for Harry to receive the love and care he deserved from Sirius and Remus, their inability to do so was lacking. For him though, she would make an effort should Sirius get his shit together. “You’ll never know unless you try.”
“‘Mione,” he sighed. “History is doomed to repeat itself and his record hasn’t exactly been promising.”
“I’ll give you that.” The other boy snorted, unable to hide the distaste of his thoughts.
Scowling, Hermione hit the red-head. “Don’t be so negative.”
“We live in a society facing another war.” He rolled his eyes. “I think I deserve to be a little negative given the circumstances we’ve found ourselves in.”
“He has a point.”
“Ron.” She sighed, rubbing at her temples. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”
The two boys shared a look.
“Well, it’s not like he’s wrong.” Ron sniggered.
She whacked him, leaning over Harry to do so. “Not the point Ronald.”
“Yeah, Ronald.” Harry mocked. “Not the point.”
The girl set narrowed eyes on him. “If you feel well enough to make fun of him, we can talk about what needs to be done next.”
No thank you. That was something he didn’t need, not right now.
“What do you mean?” Harry asked, eyes widening in a picture of innocence.
“Harry, we both know you’re not that ignorant.” Hermione rolled her eyes, so done with the dumbasses before her.
“Everything feels so complicated now.” He grumbled, rolling onto the floor. “I’ve got a child now, one that he apparently sired.”
“Just your luck, mate.”
“Thanks Ron.” Harry said sarcastically to the ceiling. Oh fuck his life.
“No problem,” he said cheerfully. “Gotta love the Potter luck.”
“So what’s the plan?”