“Good morning, love,” sang Effie Potter as she opened the door to James’s room. “It’s Christmas morning!”
James groaned, still mostly asleep.
“‘Ello Mum,” he mumbled, forcing the words out.
“Come on down when you’re ready. Sirius is already down there, you know how he gets with Christmas,” Effie replied before softly shutting the door.
He did know how Sirius was with Christmas. The older Black brother could not get enough of the holiday. Since he’d moved in with the Potters a few years ago, he’d kept a countdown on the back of his wardrobe door to the first day of winter holidays. Now that Regulus had left Grimmauld Place to live with them as well, he was even more obsessed.
“This is going to be the best Christmas ever, Prongs, you just wait!” he’d said, a few days before they left Hogwarts to head home. James had just smiled and nodded. Truth was, he was a little nervous about Regulus’s first Christmas with them. His crush on the younger Black brother had gotten much stronger since Regulus had moved in with them back in the summer. Most of the time they were separated at school, though, so this was the first real chunk of time they’d spent living together. It was thrilling but also… scary. So far he’d mostly been trying not to stare at Regulus over the dinner table.
He sat up in bed and stretched, the tips of his feet grazing his footboard. Now that he was in sixth year and a bit over six feet, he probably needed a bigger bed. He should remember to mention that to his mum.
He slid out of bed and shoved his feet into slippers, running a hand through his hair before leaving his room.
It was a bit cold out in the house, the snow falling thickly outside, but he figured breakfast would warm him up. He hugged his bare arms to himself and headed downstairs.
“James, you’re up! Finally! Mum told me I couldn’t come wake you but I’ve been waittttting…” Sirius said, taking a break from shoveling eggs into his mouth.
James laughed and took a seat next to his best mate. He immediately reached for the pitcher of water, desperate to relieve his throat before speaking any more.
“All of you boys could use more sleep. I see how you come back with that exhausted look in your eyes,” Effie said, shaking her head.
“Merlin knows why they make you wake up at the crack of dawn for Quiddich,” Fleamont interjected. “It doesn’t make any real difference to have you practice in the morning versus the afternoon.”
“I’ve been saying that for years. They’re growing boys, they should let you have your sleep,” Effie continued.
“It’s fine, Mum, really,” James said. “We’re fine, aren’t we Sirius?”
“Yeah. Totally perfect, promise. Pass the toast?”
James passed the plate of toast. Effie just shook her head, but didn’t press the issue.
They sat there for a few minutes, just eating, until a shuffling on the stairs announced the third boy of the household had arrived.
Regulus Black appeared at the bottom of the stairs, blinking sleep from his eyes, his wavy black hair a mess. It was getting longer now, since he hadn’t been back to Grimmauld Place to get it cut. It framed his face in an almost halo. He wore a dark green sweater, so dark it was almost black, and green and black plaid pajama bottoms. James offhandedly thought that he looked like a fallen angel.
James couldn’t look away as the younger Black brother padded over to the table. His crush on Regulus had only gotten worse since the raven haired boy had come to live with them half a year ago, and he didn’t think he’d ever get used to seeing the now fifth year in his home, at ease and not in school robes.
“Reggie!! You’re up!” yelled Sirius around a mouthful of food.
“Please, brother, chew and swallow before you speak,” Regulus muttered, his voice still husky from sleep.
James took another sip of water, swallowing against the onslaught of feeling that hearing Regulus’s morning voice brought. With it came flashes of daydreams: Regulus waking up in James’s bed in dozens of contexts, James waking up in Regulus’s bed, late night study sessions turned into more… He cleared his throat and took another sip of water. Merlin. Now was not the time. It was Christmas morning and he needed to keep it together.
“Sorry,” Sirius said, a wolfish grin on his face.
Regulus just shook his head and sat in the empty chair next to his brother.
“Here, Regulus dear,” Effie said, holding the plate of toast out to him.
Regulus took it and offered her a small smile. “Thank you so much.”
Always polite, Regulus Black.
He was still getting used to living with them, James knew, but he wished that the fifth year could let himself relax more. Not that he didn’t love his little stiff mannerisms, though. He just knew how Sirius had actively flinched every time he accidentally spoke “out of turn” or didn’t “correctly” address someone for the first year or so of living with them, and while he hated that, Regulus hadn’t even started to let his guard down even a little.
They ate, James’s parents making small talk about school and Quidditch, careful to avoid discussing anything that might upset their adopted boys. James was thankful that they had all gotten to learn from Sirius over the years about what was and wasn’t upsetting to talk about. Although Sirius had been sad and downtrodden when he left Grimmauld Place, he had still been so energetic and eager to make new memories. Regulus, on the other hand, was much more… quiet. James feared he had been in that horrible household for much too long and had internalised things he shouldn’t have.
But Regulus was here now, and things would be okay. He would make them okay, no matter what.
He took another big sip of water to wash down the last bite of breakfast. Sirius had already finished and was recounting the story of the time the Marauders had stolen trays from the kitchen and enchanted them to slide extremely fast down the slopes of the Hogwarts grounds. ‘Sledding,’ as Remus had called it. They had all ended up in the hospital wing, with various cuts and bruises afterwards, but it had truly been fun. It was Sirius’s favorite winter-themed story to tell.
Regulus was listening politely, but he had a far away look in his eyes. James wondered what he was thinking of. He hoped the fifth year was thinking of one of his own good memories, maybe something his little Slytherin group had done.
“Alright, I can’t wait any longer, Prongs are you finished?” Sirius asked, having finished his story to a polite round of laughs from everyone at the table.
“Yes, yes, I’m finished.”
“Alright boys, why don't you head over to the sitting room, then?” Fleamont said, standing to clean up the plates.
“C’mon Reggie!” Sirius yelped, racing over to pull his brother towards the sitting room. “It’s Christmas!!!”
James couldn’t help but laugh at the ‘help me please ’ look that Regulus gave him over his shoulder.
The two boys disappeared down the hall and he stood, handing his plate to his father.
“I do hope Regulus likes his presents,” Effie muttered, clearing off the remaining dishes on the table. “Sirius helped us pick them, but I do worry. It’s hard to know what that poor boy is thinking.”
“I’m sure he’ll be happy about it, love. He’ll warm up to everything soon. You remember how Sirius used to be,” Fleamont reassured her.
“I do, yes, but Regulus has had longer in that house… and he’s so quiet… and you know what that woman was like,” she looked up all of a sudden then, looking right at James as if she had suddenly remembered he was still there.
“Why don’t you go down to the sitting room, love?” she asked, in a tone that meant it was more of a command than a question.
“Of course Mum, you don’t need any more help with anything?” James asked, looking towards the doorway that the Black brothers had gone through. He wanted to hear more about ‘that woman,’ Walburga Black, but his mother shook her head and gestured to the door.
“We’ll be right there,” she promised before turning to carry the stack of plates into the kitchen.
“Alright.”
He headed to the sitting room.
The front sitting room, or just ‘the sitting room’ as they referred to it, was one of James’s favorite rooms in the house, but it was his favorite place in the world when it was done up for Christmas. The couch and armchairs got holiday blanket accessories and his mum decorated the fireplace to perfection; it was basically all garland, with candles and ribbons and paper snowflakes sprinkled in. And of course the tree, in all of its golden and pine glory took up a corner of the room, and it was beautiful. Presents wrapped in red paper lay under it now, waiting to be opened.
Regulus was perched on the arm of one of the large brown armchairs. He looked up at James when he walked in. Sirius was nowhere to be seen.
“Hey,” James smiled at him. “Where’s Sirius?”
Not that he wasn’t happy to be alone with Regulus, for once, but it was unlike his overexcited best mate to not be sat under the tree, ready to play gift-giver. That was his favorite.
“He’s gone to the bathroom,” Regulus said.
“Ah.”
James sat on the couch, diagonal to Regulus’s armchair. Close, but not too close.
Regulus stared down at his hands.
Regulus was sort of like a nervous, aloof cat, James thought. He wanted the fifth year to warm up to him eventually, when he felt comfortable, so all he was going to do was make sure he was within reach. That was it. He didn’t want to pressure him, to accidentally make him think that he should act a certain way to make James happy or that James wanted anything from him. He would do everything possible to make sure Regulus didn’t feel like he owed James anything. Hell, he could hate James for his entire life if he wanted, and James would happily take it. Well, maybe not happily, but he would take it and he would still care for Regulus anyway. He wanted the younger boy to have everything he ever wanted. He wanted everything for both Black brothers. Merlin knows they deserved it.
In the slightly awkward silence, James stared at the tree and wondered what Christmas in the Black household was like. He imagined that it was cold and stiff and they probably just got socks or something, on a good year. He remembered some more… upsetting things that Sirius had confided in him about a few years ago. He hoped to Merlin that Regulus’s Christmases had been better. And now he was here, and James would never let either of them go ever again.
He peeked at Regulus out of the corner of his eye. He was absentmindedly fingering a lock of his deep black hair and staring out the large bay window. He was really so beautiful, dark hair contrasting pale skin.
“How’s your year been?” James asked, a few minutes later, unable to sit in silence any longer.
Seemingly startled by this question, Regulus quickly turned towards James. His eyes were wide. “Uh, it’s been alright.”
James nodded. “Good, that’s good.”
Regulus nodded then, offering James a small awkward smile. He bit his lip and looked at the tree. “And yours?”
“Mine?” James asked, confused, eyes firmly trained on Regulus’s mouth.
“Yes, how’s your year been?” Regulus repeated.
He quickly looked away, fixing his gaze on the tree as well.
“It’s been fine, yeah. Heaps of homework now, though. It just keeps getting assigned, it’s truly insane.” He hadn’t meant to start complaining, but it was true. Sixth year was no joke.
“Sorry to hear that,” Regulus replied, ever the polite conversationalist.
He wondered if the Black family had, like, mandatory conversation classes. Etiquette classes, he supposed they’d be called. What a horrific thought. Those sounded boring as hell.
Realising he should probably reply, James shrugged. “It’s alright. Just still getting used to it.”
He’d spend the rest of the year getting used to it, he feared.
“Alright!” Sirius exclaimed, bounding into the sitting room. He rushed past James and Regulus and plopped himself next to the tree.
Just a second later, Effie and Fleamont Potter came in as well, and Sirius finally got to do his favorite job of the year: handing out the Christmas gifts.
His parents got James a new broom and new dress robes (he’d grown out of the old ones), they got Sirius a new jacket and a guitar and guitar lessons at the muggle music shop, which he lost his mind over, and they got Regulus a quite large stack of thick books that he gasped at and immediately started reading. All three of them were very grateful, Sirius and James repeatedly thanking them. Regulus whispered a shy, reverent ‘thank you’ as well, when he opened his presents, his eyes shining.
After finishing with presents and sufficient time spent listening to Sirius attempt to play his guitar with no experience, Effie and Fleamont announced they were headed out to meet some of their mates for a Christmas lunch.
“Don’t set the house on fire,” Fleamont said, his voice strict but a playful smile on his face, and then they were off.
“I can’t wait for my lesson on Monday,” Sirius sighed dreamily from next to James on the couch. “Oh, Prongs, I'm going to figure out how to add music to all of my songs!” he added, struck with the realisation.
“That’s great, Pads,” James said, clapping his best mate on the shoulder. His eyes were on Regulus, though. The late morning sun lit up the fifth year; it filtered through his dark hair and made his grey eyes shine. He was fully in the armchair now, leaning back, one of his books propped up on his knee as he read.
He was completely entranced by the book, a look of concentration on his face, eyes skimming over the words faster than James thought possible. Not that he had ever really been a reader, so it’s not like he’d know, but still. It was impressive. He wished Regulus would look at him like that.
He was suddenly conscious of Sirius saying something next to him.
“Prongs?”
“Hm, what?” He asked, turning to look at the older Black brother.
“Are you alright?” Sirius asked, brow furrowed.
“Yes, why?”
“I asked if you think girls will like the guitar and you didn’t answer.”
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t hear. Yeah, I’m sure girls will love the guitar, pads. It’s very rockstar of you,” he said quickly.
He offered Sirius an apologetic smile. Damn. James knew his brain tended to singularly focus when he was thinking about Regulus, but he wouldn’t have thought it was bad enough to go temporarily deaf.
His best mate gave him a confused look but smiled back. “I knew it, I’m gonna get a girlfriend before you even know it,” he said.
“Of course you are, Pads,” James replied. “Just don’t forget about me and Reg when that happens.”
Regulus looked up then, clearly not having heard a single word besides his name.
“What?” he asked, reaching up to tuck a wayward strand of hair behind his ear.
James’s heart skipped a beat. That piece of hair was always escaping Regulus’s careful arrangement and consequently James had had many daydreams about tucking it behind Regulus’s ear right before kissing him.
“I could never forget about you,” Sirius said, bumping his shoulder into James’s.
Regulus rolled his eyes and returned to his book. James forced a laugh, committing himself to turning his attention away from Regulus, and leaned into Sirius’s side.
He was so happy to have both Black brothers with him, on this perfect Christmas morning in his favorite place in the world.
After about half an hour all together in the sitting room, Regulus had excused himself to his room to read, citing Sirius’s attempts to create a halfway decent sound on his guitar as ‘a frankly horrid distraction.’
He’d gathered his books in his arms, politely refusing James’s requests to help him, and disappeared down the hall. James had watched him go, wishing his parents had bought the pale boy a hundred more books so that he would’ve needed help and therefore he would’ve had an excuse to see Regulus’s room.
He hadn’t been in it since Regulus had moved in, a little over six months ago. He longed to see what the Slytherin had done with the place. He wondered if it had been completely painted black or green or maybe both. And even though it was probably a little creepy, he desperately wondered what Regulus’s bed looked like. He knew the Slytherin beds at school probably looked exactly like his Gryffindor bed, just in green instead of red, but here Regulus had creative control over his room, over his bed, and James wanted to know what he’d chosen. He wanted to know what he liked. Did he like firm or soft pillows, did he have a bunch of blankets or just one, did he sleep with any stuffed animals, did he prefer to sleep in complete darkness or let light in the window…
James shook his head. He needed to find something to entertain himself before he went off the deep end and started doodling Regulus’s name on his thigh or something. He couldn’t believe he was thinking about Regulus’s bed right next to Sirius, who was strumming his guitar, completely oblivious.
Not for the first time, he was so very grateful that Legilimency was viewed as an extreme breach of trust and no one ever casually did it, because his and Sirius’s friendship would certainly be ruined if he knew what James was thinking about his younger brother.
Gathering his new dress robes in his arms, James stood.
“I’m going to put these away, see you in a bit,” he said to Sirius.
“Okay,” his best mate replied distractedly.
That guitar would keep him occupied forever, James knew.
He headed down the hall and up the stairs.
His room was the third door on the second floor, his name carved into the dark wood at his request when he was only nine or ten years old.
Inside, his walls were covered with posters of his favorite Quidditch players. They waved at him when he entered before going back to their usual activity of throwing a Quaffle to each other. He dropped his dress robes into his wardrobe before he flung himself down on his bed, drawing the curtains around his bed so he could lay there in the darkness. As an afterthought, he took off his glasses and placed them on his nightstand.
Maybe he’d take a nap. He could use one, having been up way too late last night replaying a memory from a few months ago when Regulus had sauntered into the Great Hall, the tips of his black hair dyed green, his friends flanked behind him. James had looked up when they entered, as he always did– he couldn’t help it, his gaze was practically magnetised to Regulus– and he had almost choked on his pumpkin juice.
When Regulus lived at Grimmauld Place, he had been very carefully policed by the demon witch Walburg Black herself, and everything about him had always been prim and perfect. His hair had been fairly short, his robes perfectly tailored (which James had always appreciated but simultaneously hated), and he had worn no accessories ever. But once he had left, and joined Sirius at James’s, he had started experimenting with his appearance a little more.
Up until that day, that had meant wearing rings on every finger and piercing his ears and growing his hair out– which James had loved, of course– but that evening, Regulus had walked into the Great Hall with green tips and James had short-circuited, choked, and almost died. Sirius had hit him on the back until he got the water out of his throat, and Remus had given him a warning look, and Peter had hid his laughter behind his hand. Regulus had simply walked over to his seat at the Slytherin table and sat down, completely unaware of the reaction that he had had a few tables over.
He’d had a few other interesting dye jobs over the last few months, including faint silver streaks one time that genuinely almost caused James to pass out when he saw it, and James’s mind often happily conjured those images for his viewing pleasure when he was supposed to be asleep.
A soft knock sounded on his door.
“Come in,” he yelled.
Sirius must have tired of his guitar for the moment.
But it was Regulus’s voice that spoke just outside his bed curtains. “James? I just wanted to give you something,” he said.
“Uh, yes, one sec,” James managed, sitting up and frantically smoothing his hair down. Regulus was in his room . Oh, and he had certainly seen the posters covering practically every inch of his walls. Merlin. Regulus certainly thought he was an idiot already, but now he really would.
James sighed. Well, it was his fault for not redecorating for the past three years.
Satisfied his hair had somewhat been fixed, James pulled aside the cloth between him and the Slytherin and reached for his glasses. He blinked as his eyes adjusted to reveal Regulus a few yards away from him, looking a bit unsure what to do with himself, but still unfairly gorgeous in his dark sweater. He was holding a small parcel, which he thrust towards James.
James took it and patted the bed next to him. “Please sit.”
Regulus nodded slightly and sat at the end of his bed, watching James carefully.
“You didn’t have to get me anything,” James said, slightly bewildered at the small green-paper-wrapped package that was now in his hands.
“I wanted to,” Regulus said, shifting so he didn’t slide off of the bed. “I just… saw it and thought of you.”
“Oh?” James asked, taken aback slightly. Regulus had been thinking about him? Well, thinking about him was probably a stretch, but he had seen something and thought of him. He wondered what the gift could possibly be. He turned the small box in his hands.
“Just open it,” Regulus said. He shifted again on the bed, turning in order to face James.
“Okay,” James whispered, feeling almost reverent. He couldn’t believe Regulus had bought him something. He had a crazy notion to throw himself at the younger Black brother, to tackle him into a hug. He didn’t even know what it was yet, but he knew it would be perfect. Regulus had the best taste in, well, everything.
He snuck a glance at the pale boy as he unwrapped. He was watching him intently. He looked slightly anxious but also excited, as if he wanted James to open the gift desperately, but also was quite nervous about it at the same time.
Setting the wrapping paper aside, James opened the box.
Inside was a gold ring, the band about a centimeter wide with the image of a rising sun engraved into it. It was faintly warm to the touch as James slipped it out of the box.
“I’ve noticed you looking at mine, so… I thought you might like one of your own,” Regulus blurted out, twisting one of the aforementioned rings on his index finger. His face flushed slightly, a faint pink spreading across his pale skin.
“I… I love it,” James whispered, staring at the ring in the palm of his hand. He slipped it on his middle finger, where it fit perfectly, and admired the flash of gold against his tan skin. His first ring, and Regulus had picked the perfect one.
“I thought of you when I saw the sun,” Regulus muttered.
“What?” James asked, looking up at him, certain he had somehow misheard the younger boy. He reminded Regulus of the sun…?
Regulus’s eyes were wide as he looked back at James, as if he had shocked himself with his comment. His blush deepened.
“N- nothing.”
“No, I wanna know. Why the sun?” James asked.
Regulus laughed awkwardly, looking away from him. “Uh… um. I mean, it just… well, you’re…” a sudden expression of disbelief crossed his face then, as if he couldn’t believe he was about to indulge James. He ran a hand through his hair. “Well. You’re just so happy all the time, and your smile just kinda lights up the room, you know? Like … like the sun,” he finished quietly, his face now entirely a deep red. He dropped his head into his hands.
As he spoke, James couldn’t help but smile, as if he had some unconscious need to prove Regulus right. He did smile a lot, he supposed. But he would’ve never in a million years thought that the fifth year noticed.
“Hey,” he murmured, hesitantly reaching out to pat Regulus on the shoulder. “That’s really nice, thank you.”
Regulus made a noise, a muffled sound, something like ‘mmpgh.’
“I also got you something too, actually, I was sort of afraid to give it to you, really, but since you also got me something…” James trailed off, stopping himself before he started rambling.
He stood and went to fish the small box out from inside his wardrobe.
When he turned around, the box in his hands, Regulus was seemingly back to his normal self. His face was once again arranged into a composed expression and his posture regal, but there was an unguarded look in his eyes that James had never had the privilege of seeing before.
“What is it?” Regulus asked, his eyes fixed on the box in James’s hands.
“Here,” he said, stepping forward and pressing the box into Regulus’s hands. “Sorry I didn’t do the nicest wrapping job.”
“No, it’s great,” Regulus replied, looking up at James with a small smile on his lips.
James smiled back and swallowed against the study thrum of his heart in his throat, grateful that his darker skin masked most of the blush that he was sure would otherwise be written plainly across his face. He was a little nervous, to say the least.
He watched with bated breath as Regulus unwrapped the parcel.
He had thought of Regulus when he saw the dainty silver star earrings in a shop window in Hogsmeade, several months ago, and had immediately purchased them without a second thought. Unfortunately, that meant that he had no idea how to give them to Regulus without making him look… well, in love with him.
But it was Christmas, and Regulus had given him a gift first, so maybe it was fine.
Regulus opened the box, and James held his breath waiting for the other boy’s reaction. What if he hated silver or hated stars or thought it was dumb that–
His train of thought was interrupted by Regulus’s gasp.
“Potter!” he exclaimed, holding the little black box up so the earrings caught the light and shone.
“What?” James asked, terrified that it was true, that he was right, that Regulus hated them.
“Do you have a mirror in here?” came Regulus’s instant reply. He stood, looking around. “Never mind, of course you don’t. Come with me.”
Jewellery box in hand, Regulus strode from James’s room.
After a moment of steeling himself against his nerves, he did as he was told and followed.
Regulus was already in his room by the time he approached. He was standing in front of his mirror and fitting the earrings into his ears. James stepped into the doorway, his mind going blank as he was finally granted his wish to see Regulus’s room.
The walls were an olive green sort of color and one wall was covered in dozens of silver frames of varying sizes, pictures moving within them. His bed was simple, a double James thought, made up with a green duvet and two matching pillows. Regulus’s desk, the wood perfectly matched to the bed frame, was pushed up the wall underneath the room’s large window. It was covered in books and papers. The full length mirror that Regulus stood in front of was in the far corner. It was almost excessively cosy, and James had a fleeting thought he was jealous.
Regulus’s eyes met James’s in the mirror. James watched, his attention completely recaptured on the other boy as he reached up to touch the star earring in his left ear.
“They’re beautiful,” he said, turning to face James, a soft smile on his face.
“So you like them?” he asked, unable to keep himself from double-checking, confirming that yes, he did actually like them and didn’t think James was the worst gift giver on the planet.
“Yes,” Regulus insisted. “I love the stars.”
“I know,” James said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Merry Christmas," he said.
Regulus laughed breathlessly, an impossibly elegant sound, as he walked towards James. "Merry Christmas."
“Well, now you’ve seen my room,” he said after a moment, gesturing broadly to their surroundings.
“It’s so nice,” James said, looking around again. “I really like these,” he added, stepping closer to Regulus to gesture at the framed pictures.
“Those are my favorite,” Regulus agreed. “Mother never let me have any pictures of my friends at home, so it was the first thing I did here.”
“I’m glad,” James said.
He was so thankful for his parents for so many reasons, but one of the biggest was how they hadn’t hesitated to take Sirius, and now Regulus, under their wing. ‘ Of course we can, we have this opportunity for a reason, ’ his mother had said, when Sirius had asked her if it was possible they could also house Regulus after he had exploded at their mother one fateful day at the end of Summer holidays. And if James secretly desperately wanted them to do so because he was practically in love with Regulus Black, well, no one had to know.
He knew that his feelings for the younger Black brother were unrequited, but that was okay. He just wanted Regulus to be happy and healthy and as far away from that horrible family as possible, and his wish had finally been granted that day.
“You’ve done a really nice job with it,” James said, a few moments later, still looking at the gallery wall. He recognized Barty Crouch Jr., Pandora and Evan Rosier, and Dorcas Meadowes in many of the photos. They all looked happy. He was glad Regulus had good friends, a support system.
“Thank you. Maybe I should help you with yours,” Regulus laughed.
“Hey, my room is perfectly decorated, thank you very much,” James shot back, faking offense.
“Mhmm,” Regulus hummed. “I see. Well that is quite concerning Potter, how long have you had these glasses? I think it might be time for a new pair.”
James gasped, pressing a hand to his chest. “Are you calling me blind?”
Regulus shrugged. “I’m not not calling you blind.”
“That is absolutely unbelievable. I am not blind, I have great taste.”
“Sure,” Regulus said, laughing again. “If you call ten posters of Quidditch stars and nothing else taste .”
“You also play Quidditch, need I remind you,” James pointed out.
“Yes, but unlike you I don’t make it my entire personality.” Regulus said.
James gasped again. “Now that is too far,” he said, stepping closer to the shorter boy, despite the warning bells in his head telling him to back up, to run away.
Regulus, surprisingly, stepped closer as well. “What are you going to do about it?”
“I- i’ll-” James stuttered. Regulus was so close to him now. He could smell his cologne, the faint scent of pine and something else, something warmer and sweeter. Vanilla, maybe, he thought vaguely, his mind foggy from the proximity.
“Interesting,” Regulus murmured, taking another step forward.
“Hmm?” James hummed, his eyes dropping to Regulus’s mouth.
“James?” he asked, his tone light, almost teasing.
Regulus’s lips formed his name so beautifully, so perfectly. He thought this might be the first time he’d ever heard Regulus say his name. He wanted him to say it again, to watch his perfect mouth mold around the syllables.
He had a fleeting thought that maybe he should try to stop staring at the Slytherin's mouth. With no small amount of effort, he forced his eyes up to Regulus’s.
“Yes?” he replied, much later than he should’ve.
Regulus smirked, and James’s eyes dropped right back down. Damn, he had no self control.
He needed to get out of this before he made a fool of himself. Regulus certainly would realise how he felt if he didn’t get ahold of himself, and then things would really be over.
“They look good on you,” he tried, reaching up to tap the earring in Regulus’s right ear.
“Thank you. You did a good job picking them out.” Regulus said.
James smiled at him, running a hand through his messy hair. “Well, I should go,” he said, taking a small step back.
“You don’t have to,” Regulus replied, but he stayed where he was.
“I don’t want to annoy you on Christmas day,” James laughed. “I’ll let you get back to your books. But I love the ring, thank you again.”
Regulus smiled, that soft smile again. “I’m glad you like it. It looks good on you.”
James smiled back, looking down at the ring again. Then he bowed, a funny little thing that he immediately regretted, and left. The sound of Regulus’s stifled laughter followed him down the hall back to his room.
* - * - * - * - *
That night, James tossed and turned in bed. He’d been trying to get to sleep for what felt like hours but all his mind would do was replay that moment between him and Regulus from earlier. Reliving it in his head had magnified the tension that he felt in Regulus’s room, and had given him delusions that he could not shake in the late night darkness.
Finally, he gave up on sleep.
He drew the curtains aside and stood. He’d just take a quick lap or two around the house to settle his restlessness and hopefully that would be enough. His eyes were sore, and his were limbs heavy, it was just his mind that raced ceaselessly.
He grabbed his glasses and headed downstairs. Maybe he’d find a snack as well.
It was dark in the hall but thankfully being 17 now, he was able to do magic at home. He whispered a quick “lumos” and began his descent down the stairs.
It was strange being in the house alone at night, in the dark. It was too quiet. Not that the house was ever particularly loud, but Sirius or one of his parents or a house elf or someone was always about. He tried to keep the sound of his footsteps to a minimum. He wasn’t forbidden to be down here, of course, however it felt wrong to disrupt the house’s sleepy silence.
He was buttering a piece of toast when he heard a rustle behind him.
He spun instantly, wand extended in front of him, and came face-to-face with Regulus Black.
“James?” he asked around a yawn, so calm despite James’s wand pointed at him.
James immediately lowered his wand. “Regulus?”
“Hello,” the Slytherin whispered, stepping forward further into the faint light. “Hungry?” he asked, looking down at James’s toast.
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“Ah. Me neither, if that’s not obvious by my presence,” Regulus replied.
So well spoken, even in the middle of the night, James thought. That’s Regulus Black.
“Yeah, I see,” James laughed. “Do you want one?” he asked, gesturing to the toast.
“No, that’s alright. I’m not hungry. Just trying to get my mind off of things.”
“Alright.”
Despite desperately wanting to know what thoughts kept Regulus up all night, he wasn’t going to push. God forbid Regulus would then want to know why James couldn’t sleep, and then he’d have to come up with something quickly, and his brain never worked right when he was tired.
Regulus leaned against the fridge, watching James finish buttering his toast.
“Today was nice,” he said after a minute.
James looked over at him. “Yeah. Sirius was very happy you were here,” he replied.
“And what about you?” Regulus asked, biting his lip.
“Me?”
“Yeah. I mean, what did you think?” The Slytherin clarified, looking down. “I know it probably feels strange that I’m here, I’m not really part of–”
“I was also very happy that you were here,” James said, cutting him off. He set the butter knife down.
“Oh,” Regulus replied softly, glancing up at him.
“I mean it. I’m glad you’re here,” he continued, keeping eye contact with the younger boy.
He did mean it. He meant it more than Regulus would ever know.
“Thank you,” Regulus whispered.
James just nodded. He didn’t trust himself to say any more, afraid that if he did that he would end up saying too much.
“You’re still wearing the ring,” Regulus said, eyes trained on the gold band.
“Yes,” James whispered. “I told you earlier, it’s perfect. I might never take it off, actually.”
“You’re crazy,” he replied, rolling his eyes, but his cheeks flushed.
“Maybe,” James shrugged. “Yeah, crazy about you,” he thought. Except he hadn’t thought that, he had said it aloud. He clamped a hand over his mouth. Damn it. Damn it.
Regulus’s mouth fell open. “What?” he asked, voice barely a whisper.
“I’m sorry, I’m so tired, I– I should go,” James blurted out, panicked, and went to rush past Regulus.
But Regulus grabbed his arm, stopping him. “Wait.”
James turned back to look at him, his heart beating impossibly fast.
“Are… are you… do you mean that?”
James sighed. The cat was out of the bag now, he might as well just deal with the consequences. He nodded.
Regulus’s grip on him loosened, just slightly. This was where he told James that he didn’t feel the same. James prepared himself to hear those very words that he was so afraid of.
Regulus’s hand slid down his arm and his fingers encircled his wrist. “Come here,” he whispered, into the space between them.
James swallowed, his throat suddenly so dry. He stepped closer, still very scared, but unable to not do anything Regulus asked.
He prepared himself for the rejection that he knew was coming.
Then, shockingly, Regulus leaned in and kissed him.
What?
Unable to do anything but kiss back, all of James’s fears evapourated. Regulus’s lips were so unbearably soft that he couldn’t help but sigh into the kiss.
Regulus’s hand came up to pull at James’s hair, pressing him impossibly closer. He growled slightly, unable to stop himself, and pressed his body into Regulus’s. He’d wanted this for so long. Regulus responded by tilting his head slightly and deepening the kiss.
This could not be happening.
James moved his free hand up to the back of Regulus’s neck, feeling the soft curl of his hair against his neck. This was even better than all of his countless dreams.
They broke apart after a few moments, breathing heavily. Regulus’s hands slipped around his waist and he pulled James into a hug. James rested his head on top of the younger boy’s and laughed, in spite of himself.
“I truly did not mean to say that out loud, but now I’m very glad I did,” he confessed.
Regulus laughed as well, a breathy sound that James felt on his neck. “Thank Merlin for tired James,” he said. “I’ve liked you for so long.”
"Really? Since when?" James asked, unable to believe his luck.
Regulus shifted. "Let's just say a long time," he laughed. James felt the vibration in his chest.
"I've been pretty obsessed with you for awhile too."
"Oh, obsessed are we, Potter?" Regulus smirked.
"Shut up," James laughed. "You just said you've liked me for forever."
"I did not say forever."
"Sure." James squeezed the Slytherin to him, rubbing his back. “So was I the thing you couldn’t get off of your mind, or do I have some competition?” he asked.
“No, it was you,” Regulus confessed, pulling back slightly to look up at him. “I couldn’t stop thinking about how you looked this morning at breakfast, actually,” he said, and blushed a deeper pink.
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Your hair was a mess and that T-shirt fit you so well…” he trailed off. “You looked good.”
He ran his hands up James’s bare arms, leaving gooseflesh in their wake.
“You looked pretty good yourself,” James laughed. “I love this sweater,” he said, fingering the hem.
Regulus ducked his head, seemingly embarrassed by James’s statement, and fit his face into the crook of James’s neck. “Thanks,” came his muffled reply.
James pressed a kiss to the top of his head.
“What do you say that we go upstairs?” James asked after a minute. “I’d quite like to keep standing here, hugging until breakfast, but I fear that I might pass out any second.”
Regulus nodded and let himself be led back to James’s room.
The two boys collapsed onto his bed, still hand-in-hand, and James magicked the curtains shut.
“Goodnight Reggie,” he whispered as he pulled his duvet over them.
Regulus shuffled over, throwing an arm over James and resting his head on his chest. “Night Jamie,” he whispered back. "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas," James murmured, lifting Regulus's hand to his mouth and kissing his knuckles softly.
They fell asleep, curled into each other, finally able to sleep now that they were with each other.