Aching
Regulus:
It didn’t hurt. Not quite. It was more of an aching feeling in his chest, like missing a vital organ, but not finding out until it was too late. He knew he was missing things. He didn’t know what. His head hurt from staring at the green flag on his wall. It had been earlier this day, that he saw something—a red sweater, lying on the floor in his room. It felt like a deja vu. The sweater vaguely reminded him of eyes as green as the grass on a quidditch pitch at night, but he didn’t know anyone with eyes like that. Mum had already cleaned it before he could find out whose it was, and he was too scared to ask about it. He shrugged, trying to convince himself that if he couldn’t remember it, it surely couldn’t be important. The gnawing feeling in his gut stayed.
‘’Regulus! Dinner.’’ His mother’s shrill voice echoed through the house. He quickly descended the stairs. Dinner with his mum and dad, like it had always been. They were eating roast with potatoes and gravy. The smell made him hungry. His mother seemed on edge, and his father was distant as always.
‘’Regulus dear, are you excited to go back to Hogwarts?’’
He quickly swallowed his food. ‘’Yeah, of course. It will be great to see my friends again.’’
‘’Yes, dear. Mhm. Try focusing on your studies some more this year. You know what I always say about grades before friends. Those grades will matter when you graduate and those friends probably won’t’’ She wrinkled her nose. ‘’The last part of your fifth year is very important, Regulus, with OWLS coming up. You know how much OWLS S- Narcissa and Bella took.’’
He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. His nieces both took 10 OWLS, all subjects except muggle studies and Care for Magical Creatures. ‘’Yes Mum, I understand.’’ He shoved his half-eaten plate away. He had been excited for school to start again, but now the nerves kicked in again and made him sick to the stomach.
‘’You’re not going to eat that?’’ She raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow.
‘’’Not hungry’’ he mutters.
‘’Speak up boy, you know I don’t like it when you mutter.’’
‘’I am not hungry,’’ he repeated.
‘’Typical.’’
He stared at his hands, the small indent on the beginning of his thumb, his nails that were bit to the rim, he quickly hid them in his palms. He remembered someone telling him not to bite his nails, kissing his fingertips over and over. Couldn’t be his mum. It must be one of those fantasies again, he had had a lot of them lately, perhaps he was going mad. He wished he had someone to tell him how to handle this, he didn’t quite fancy going mad. His nieces at least had each other, of course, Andy was gone now, but Bella and Cissie still had each other.
—
His sheets were fresh when he let himself flop into them. Kreacher must have changed them when he was down for dinner. His half-packed trunk standing in the corner of his room. He couldn’t be bothered to pack it just yet.
James:
‘’Dearie, have you packed your trunk yet?’’ He looked up from his game of cobstones with Sirius to see his mother Euphemia standing in the doorway.
‘’I will in a minute’’ She’d been nagging him about his packing for two weeks. He wanted to pack his stuff and get it out of the way, but for some reason, he just couldn’t be bothered to do it yet.
‘’You know I told you two weeks ago that you should start packing it. During summer break you were still searching for your socks twenty minutes before we had to leave.’’
He gave a snorting Sirius sitting next to him a punch in the side.
‘’Yeah- I know. Won’t happen.’’
She ruffled his hair. ‘’It will if you won’t start packing. We leave at eight in the morning tomorrow, alright?’’
‘’Mom!’’ He tried brushing his hair back, but it was as messy as always. ‘’I'm sixteen, not twelve.’’
‘’I know, dear. Get some rest tonight, alright? You too Sirius, tomorrow will be a busy day.’’
Sirius grins cheekily. ‘’’ Course mum, *my* suitcase is already packed!’’
‘’Goodnight boys,’’ he saw his mum rolling her eyes before closing the door behind her.
He punched Sirius in the side once more for good measure.
‘’Oi Potter, what did I do now?’’ The other boy threw himself onto him.
‘’You might get my mum to like you more than me’’
Sirius stood up, laughing as he threw his long raven hair over his shoulder. ‘’hah, Potter. She already does! I packed my trunk!’’
They both cast a glance at Sirius’ trunk which was standing half under his bed. It was packed, but that was all that could be said about it. The contents were far from organised, the clothes not even folded.
‘’yeah you twat, that can hardly be called packing, Black.’’
‘’It's more than you did, Potter.’’
James threw a cushion at the other boy, which Sirius easily caught, ‘’gotta do better than that’’
James also stood up, dumping his cushion roughly on Sirius’ head. ‘’Oh, don’t be a twat.’’
Sirius laughed, He clutched his chest dramatically. ‘’I feel so wounded, James Fleamont Potter’’
‘’Oh calm your tits, Sirius.’’
He lay down in his bed. Hand unconsciously moving to the last letter he received from Regulus, buried under his cushion. He suddenly got nervous. It had been three weeks since the last letter. What if Regulus wanted to break up with him? He hadn’t even received a response to his last letter. Regulus Black wasn’t the one obsessed. James was. Regulus was just in love, at least James hoped so, he liked spending time with James, but probably only saw him as a quick lover—someone to pass the time. However, the mere idea of Regulus leaving him made him feel like he couldn’t breathe. While he lay there overthinking, Sirius had flopped down on his own bed.
‘’Come on, we should go sleep before mum kills us.’’