Act 1, Part 6
(Fade in. Harry is sitting with Hermione, playing his guitar. Nevillie is sitting on the other side of the stage.)
HG: “Harry, don’t you think you should try a little and find out what the first task will be? You can die if you’re not ready!”
HP: “What? Come on…”
“Musical Harry is kind of obnoxious,” Hermione pointed out. Harry had to agree.
“Am I like that in real life?” He asked. His friends shook their heads, and Draco nodded.
HP: “I mean, can’t you just do it for me? Could you prepare all these things for me? What are you doing now?”
HG: “I’m writing your potions essay…”
“HERMIONE NEVER DID MY WORK FOR ME!” Harry desperately shouted as Snape glared at him.
HP: “Oh, well, do that first, because it’s due tomorrow! But then, then could you prepare for the first task? Please? Thanks. You are the best.”
(Harry boops her nose.)
“Why does he always do that?” Ron asked, sounding slightly annoyed.
“I dunno!” Harry said, booping Hermione’s nose. She batted his hand away.
HP: “You give it. Thanks, Hermione.”
(Ginny enters).
HP: “Hey, Ginny, come here. I want to show you something. Come here.”
GW: “Hey, Harry Potter…”
HP: “Listen, I want to play this song that I’m working on, I met a girl that I really, really like and I want to let her know that she’s very special, so- well, I just want to know what you think of that, Just for now, since i'm still working on the text, i’m going to put your name where hers belongs, but I don’t think that’s going to work very well…”
“Oh, god, I can see where this is going,” Ginny said, blushing. “The song is for Cho, but musical me is gonna think it's for me.”
HP: “Because, well, I’ll just try.”
HP (singing): You’re tall and fun and pretty, you’re really really skinny, Ginny.”
“Wait, that- that rhymes well!” Ron said, confused.
“I think that’s the joke,” Harry said.
HP: “I’m the Mickey to your Minnie, you’re the Tigger to my Winnie, Ginny. Wanna take you to the city, Gonna take you out to diney, Ginny. You’re cuter than a guinea pig, wanna take you up to Winnipeg; That’s in Canada! Ginny Ginny Ginny– You know what? It doesn’t work with your name. It doesn’t work.”
“This is so stupid,” Draco announced.
HP: “But, I don’t know… what- how do you feel? Emotionally?”
GW: “Wow… wowie, Harry Potter…”
“You feel ‘wowie’. Got it,” Ron teased, Ginny’s face still red.
HP: “Do you think it could help, like, make a girl fall in love with me, for example?”
GW: “I think it already has…”
“OoooOOOooo!” Ron said, poking his sister in the side. Harry smiled.
HP: “Cool! ‘Cause it’s for Cho Chang!”
GW: “Oh, yeah… O-she’s beautiful…”
HP: “Are you crazy? Beautiful? More like supermegafoxyawesomehot!”
“Wow, that’s…” Harry shook his head. “That’s certainly an adjective.”
HP: “She is the hottest girl I have ever met. She is far more attractive, more appealing, more interesting than any other girl I know. In my immediate group- group- friend group. She’s so much better, great…”
(Ron enters.)
RW: “Huh, Nevillie?”
(He slaps the back of Neville’s head.)
“Why- you know what, not even gonna ask.”
RW: “Move, move, move, move, move, move, move. Hey Harry, what’s up? I was just offstage with Hagrid-”
“Fourth wall, once again,” Hermione said.
RW: “- and I was, uhm, I saw these delivery wizards, putting a huge cage into a pit. I don’t know what it’s for.”
HG: “Huge cages? I bet there’s something in those cages that has something to do with the first task! Harry, we need to find out what it is.”
HP: “Hey, hey guys, sorry, I'm busy.”
(Harry starts playing guitar.)
“Can you actually play the guitar?” Hermione asked. Harry shook his head.
“No idea why they added that in there. I can’t play any instruments.”
(Hermione takes the instrument from him.)
RW: WOAH! WOAH! WOAH! WOAH!GW: NO! NO! NO! NO!
HG: Now listen guys, this could be a matter of life and death!”
RW: “Okay, but it doesn’t matter because it’s after hours, okay? We can’t leave Gryffindor, we’d probably get into trouble if we did. And if we do, Schlongbottom will probably tell on us anyway.”
HG: “Neville wouldn’t do that.”
NL: “I most certainly will!”
“He did almost do that, didnt he?” Ron quietly asked his friends. They nodded.
RW: “Okay, what are we going to do?”
HG: “It’s simple, guys. The cloak.”
RW: “Of course.” (They all stand and look at the audience.) “The cloak.”
“What cloak?” Draco asked. The golden trio looked nervous.
GW: “Wait, what cloak?”
RW: “Shut up!” (He slaps her.)
HP: “It’s a present- I got a present last year. My dad- oh, bye Neville.”
(Neville leaves.)
HP: I got a present last year. My first year at Hogwarts. And um… well, it was left to me by my dad. My dad that’s dead. My dad’s dead. My dead father…”
“Guys, I think my dad might be dead!” Harry added, laughing. The rest all stared at him blankly.
“It’s alright, it’s a joke.”
HP: “... he used it to find secrets in stuff. My invisibility cloak!”
(Harry pulls out a sparkly red piece of fabric.)
“Wow, that's…”
“You have an invisibility cloak?” Draco asked, jealous. Harry nodded.
GW: “Wow Harry Potter! A real invisibility cloak! Oh! Oh! Oh! You know what I would do if I had an invisibility cloak?”
HP: “Oh, I’d- i’d kick, uhm, i’d kick weiner dogs.”
“No! I don’t wanna kick dachshunds!” Harry protested.
RW: “I would pretend to be a ghost and scare people.”
“That could be kind of fun…” Ron said.
HG: “I would use it to avoid having to face my reflection in the mirror.”
“Oh, wow.” Hermione said, crossing her arms. “Really funny.”
RW: “Jesus, what’s wrong with you?”
GW: “Okay, I actually would use it to fake my own death and watch people cry at my funeral.”
“Where did that idea even come from?” Ginny asked.
HP: “Okay, anyways, let’s get out of here before Neville gets out of the bathroom.”
(They get up to leave, and Ginny follows.)
RW: “Woah woah woh, where do you think you’re going?”
GW: “I… I'm coming with you.”
RW: “No, no, no. No way. No children allowed.”
(He slaps her.)
RW: “And besides, the cloak only has enough space for two people. So… come on, Hermione, come on.”
(Everyone but Ginny exits. Music begins.)
“Oh no, oh god no…” Ginny groaned, curling into a ball.
GW: “The way his hair falls in his eyes makes me wonder if he’ll ever see through my disguise.”
“Hey, she seems like a good singer!” Harry said, trying desperately to avoid talking about the lyrics.
GW: “And I'm under his spell, everything is falling and I don't know where to land. Everyone knows who he is but they don't know who I am…”
(She begins dancing with the guitar.)
“aughhhhh…” Ginny groaned in embarrassment.
GW: “Harry, Harry, Why can't you see… what you're doing to me?”
Hermione, Ron, and Draco were enjoying how embarrassed Ginny and Harry both looked.
GW: “I've seen you conquer certain death and even when you're just standing there. You take away my breath! And maybe someday, you'll hear my song and understand that all along there's something more that I'm trying to say when I say Harry, Harry, Harry.”
“You were right, the lady is quite talented,” Dumbledore commented.
GW: “Why can't you see what you're doing to me?”
(The screen fades to black.)
“Well, time to die, now,” Ginny mumbled.