Letter One
I’m so happy to be back at Hogwarts with you. The whole holiday, I was just missing you terribly. It’s strange how a place that can be so chaotic and full of its own troubles can feel like home just because you’re there. Every time I caught myself daydreaming by the fireplace in the manor, it was about you. I’m happy I got to see my mum and all of that. Even surrounded by all the splendor and supposed comforts of home, there was always this ache in my chest. A piece of me was just missing, and now I realize that piece was you.
I would willingly take all of the essays, the stress of NEWT preparation, and even those dreadful Potions assignments from Slughorn, just to be closer to you. Nothing about this place really matters when you’re not around. It’s almost as though the walls of Hogwarts themselves seem less enchanted, less alive without you. Can you meet up in our special spot after dinner? I just want some undisturbed time to catch up and hear your voice. I need it, honestly. Today wasn’t the best start to the term, and seeing you is the only thing I can think of to fix that.
Class was a mess. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but today just felt particularly disheartening. Granger (of course it was Granger) was showing me up yet again. Not that this is anything new, but I thought I had finally gotten a leg up. Over the holiday, I took some time to prepare, went over the lesson ahead of class, and really thought I’d be able to stand out for once. For something good, that is. Something that didn’t involve Potter and whatever heroic nonsense he’s embroiled in this week. I thought maybe, just maybe, I’d have a chance to impress Slughorn or at least avoid his patronizing glances. But no. Granger just had to swoop in with her perfect answers and impeccable potion work. I swear she’s insufferable. You know, sometimes I think Potter’s endless drama needs someone to keep him grounded. Maybe a bully like me is just what he deserves. Not that I enjoy it or anything, but someone has to keep him in check. He’d be intolerable otherwise.
Speaking of the holiday, I did manage to find something that brightened my days a bit. It’s a book. I know, shocking, isn’t it? Me, voluntarily reading something that isn’t required for class. But this one was different. I found it tucked away in the library at home, of all places. It’s not the usual kind of thing I’d expect to find there. It isn’t cursed, or illegal to own, or even remotely related to family history. It’s just a little fiction book about a prince and a pauper. At first, I only picked it up because I was bored and curious. But as I read, I found myself completely drawn into the story. It’s about two boys from entirely different worlds who decide to switch places and see how the other half lives. I won’t spoil too much, in case you’d like to read it, but I found it oddly moving. I don’t think I’ve ever related to a book like that before. It made me think about things about my life, my choices, the roles we all play in this world.
I kept thinking about you while I was reading it. Maybe it’s because you have this way of making me see things differently. You always challenge me, darling, in the best possible way. You’re never afraid to point out when I’m being ridiculous or when I need to look at something from another perspective. I think that’s why I thought of you while reading this book. It feels like the kind of story you’d enjoy too. Would you want to read it? I could bring it tonight if you’re interested. If not, that’s fine too. I know you’ve probably got a million other things on your mind with classes starting again and everything else going on. But if you do want to read it, I’d love to hear what you think. Maybe we could even talk about it together.
Honestly, I’m just looking for any excuse to spend more time with you. The holiday felt endless without you around. I know I should be used to it by now, but every year it feels harder and harder to leave you behind. Being apart from you just makes everything else seem so dull and meaningless. Even the usual family holiday traditions felt like going through the motions. Mother, of course, was her usual composed self, arranging dinners and keeping up appearances. Father was... well, you can imagine. Stoic, distant, and preoccupied with matters he doesn’t think I’m old enough to understand. But through it all, there was this constant thought in the back of my mind: How long until I can get back to Hogwarts? How long until I can see you again?
Do you remember the first time we found our special spot? It feels like a lifetime ago now. I don’t even know why we decided to go exploring that day, but I’m so glad we did. It’s become our little sanctuary, hasn’t it? A place where we can just be ourselves, away from all the noise and expectations. I think that’s what I love most about it and about you. With you, I don’t have to pretend to be anyone I’m not. I don’t have to live up to some impossible standard or prove anything to anyone. I can just be Draco, and that’s enough. I don’t think I’m Draco to many people. You make me feel like I’m enough.
I’m counting down the minutes until dinner tonight. Just knowing I’ll get to see you, even for a little while, is enough to keep me going. But I hope we can steal away afterward, just the two of us. There’s so much I want to tell you, so much I want to hear about your holiday. Did you get up to anything exciting? Or was it just as dull and uneventful as mine? Either way, I want to know every detail. You know I never get tired of listening to you. Your voice is like music to me, darling. I could listen to you talk for hours and never get bored.
I suppose I should wrap this up before it turns into a novel. I just have so much on my mind, and it all seems to come pouring out when I think of you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being everything I didn’t know I needed. I’ll see you tonight, darling. Until then, know that I’m thinking of you and counting the seconds until we’re together again.
Yours,
Draco Malfoy