shifting grounds
October 31st, 1975
Severina woke to the sound of soft humming. For a moment, she wasn’t entirely sure where she was—the bed beneath her was far too comfortable, and the air carried a faint, calming scent of lavender. Her surroundings were serene, almost surreal. She blinked up at the ornate ceiling and slowly turned her head to take in the room.
The space felt magical, not in the loud, showy way most enchanted places did, but in something quieter, more thoughtful. Every corner seemed to radiate warmth and comfort, from the crackling fire in the hearth to the plush blankets that wrapped around her.
Her gaze landed on Isabelle, who was perched on the edge of the bed, her legs crossed beneath her. Isabelle’s dark hair gleamed in the soft light as she toyed with the hem of her robes.
“Sabine?” Severina croaked, her voice raspy.
Isabelle’s head snapped up, relief flooding her features. “Tu es réveillée!” she exclaimed, throwing herself at Severina in a tight hug. “J’étais tellement inquiète pour toi!”
“I’m fine,” Severina murmured, her hand moving automatically to soothe Isabelle’s back. “Je suis désolée de t’avoir inquiétée.”
Isabelle pulled back just enough to look at her. “You don’t look fine,” she said. “I mean… I knew something was wrong when you didn’t come back. And then I found you like that…” Her voice trailed off, and she shook her head. “But this room—it’s incredible, non? I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“It is,” Severina admitted, her fingers brushing the edge of the blanket. “I didn’t even know a place like this existed.”
“Neither did I,” Isabelle said, her eyes wide with wonder as she glanced around. “But Sirius did. He said it’s called the Room of Requirement.”
Severina tensed at the mention of him, her face flushing. “Right. Black.”
“He stayed with you,” Isabelle said softly. “All night, I think. He left just before you woke up.”
Severina bit her lip, her chest tightening. The memory of Black holding her as she fell apart was still fresh, and the thought of facing him now filled her with dread.
“Let’s not talk about him,” she said briskly, sitting up. “Help me get ready, Sabine.”
Isabelle brightened at the request. “I’ll braid your hair,” she offered, already reaching for Severina’s comb.
“Fine,” Severina said, too tired to argue. She sat on the edge of the bed, her back to Isabelle, and closed her eyes as her sister began to work.
First Year, September 1971
The memory crept up on her as Isabelle’s fingers deftly wove her hair. Severina had always braided her own hair, but back in their first year, she hadn’t known any better techniques, leaving her plaits crooked and uneven.
It had been Sirius Black who noticed, of all people.
She’d been sitting in the courtyard, redoing her braid for the third time when Black plopped down beside her. “You’re going to pull all your hair out if you keep tugging like that,” he said.
Severina glared at him. “What do you care?”
“Maybe I don’t,” he said with a shrug, but his tone was light. “My cousin Andromeda showed me how to do proper braids when I was little. Want me to teach you?”
“You?” Severina asked, incredulous.
“Me,” Black said, smirking. “I’m full of surprises, Snape.”
Against her better judgment, she’d let him show her. And for a time, his teasing was harmless, his grin infectious. But that Sirius Black felt like a distant memory now, overshadowed by the boy who seemed to take pleasure in tormenting her.
“C’est fini,” Isabelle announced, patting Severina’s shoulder.
Severina reached up to touch her hair, her fingers grazing the neat, even braid.
“Merci,” she said softly, turning to smile at her sister.
“You’re welcome,” Isabelle said, her eyes sparkling with pride.
The moment was interrupted by a knock at the door. Severina’s stomach flipped as it creaked open to reveal Sirius Black. He leaned against the frame, his expression unreadable.
“Morning,” he said, his voice casual, but his gaze flickered to her briefly before settling on Isabelle. “You good?”
Isabelle nodded eagerly. “Thanks to you.”
Severina stiffened. “Sabine,” she said sharply.
Isabelle ignored her, beaming at Sirius. “You were brilliant last night. Merci beaucoup!”
Black looked uncomfortable, scratching the back of his neck. “It was nothing.”
“Could you excuse us for a moment?” Severina said, her voice tight.
Isabelle hesitated but eventually scampered off, throwing one last wave at Sirius before disappearing down the corridor.
The awkward silence stretched between them as Severina crossed her arms. “You didn’t have to stay,” she said finally.
“You begged me not to take you to the infirmary,” he said, his voice softer than she expected. “What was I supposed to do? Leave you there?”
“Yes,” Severina said automatically, though the word felt hollow.
Sirius studied her for a moment, his usual bravado absent. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but… if you ever need someone…” He trailed off, his expression faltering.
“I don’t,” Severina said quickly, her cheeks burning. “But thank you for last night. Really.”
He nodded, his lips twitching into a faint smile. “Alright, Snape. See you around.”
As he turned to leave, Severina slumped against the wall, her heart racing.
——-
The Great Hall buzzed with its usual morning chatter, but Severina barely registered the noise as she stepped inside. Her steps faltered when she noticed Lily Evans sitting at the Gryffindor table, but the moment Lily caught sight of her, she waved her over with an insistent look.
Isabelle, who hadn’t left Severina’s side, even after she went back to her dorm to shower and change, squeezed her hand before whispering, “I’ll sit with Nikolai. But, Sev... be honest with her, okay?”
Severina nodded absently, watching Isabelle dart off to the Slytherin table. She took a steadying breath and approached Lily, who was already moving over to make room.
“Morning,” Severina said, her tone deliberately casual as she slid onto the bench.
Lily raised an eyebrow. “Morning? That’s all you’ve got to say?” Her sharp green eyes scanned Severina’s face, then dropped to her hands, which were clasped tightly in her lap. “What happened to you?”
Severina frowned. “What are you talking about?”
Lily’s gaze flicked to Severina’s hands again, and she realized too late that she hadn’t covered the faint scratches trailing across her knuckles.
“Nothing,” Severina said quickly, pulling her hands under the table.
“Don’t give me that,” Lily said, her voice dropping low enough that only Severina could hear. “You didn’t show up to study last night. You look like you barely slept, and your hands...” Her jaw clenched. “Sev, what’s going on?”
Severina bristled, her instinct to deflect kicking in. “It’s not a big deal. I just got caught up with something.”
Lily leaned closer, her tone softening. “You don’t have to handle everything on your own, you know. Whatever it is... you can tell me.”
For a moment, Severina considered it. She wanted to tell Lily everything—about the panic attack, about Black, about how everything felt like it was spiraling out of her control. But the words caught in her throat, tangled with pride and fear.
“I’m fine, Lily,” she said, forcing a small smile. “Really. You don’t need to worry about me.”
Lily’s expression darkened. “I always worry about you. You’re my friend, Sev. And friends notice when something’s wrong.”
Severina looked away, her throat tight. “I appreciate it, but... I can handle it. I always do.”
“That’s not the point!” Lily’s voice rose slightly before she caught herself, glancing around the table. She lowered her voice again. “You shouldn’t have to. If you’d just let me—”
“Lily,” Severina interrupted, meeting her gaze. “Please. Drop it.”
Lily’s mouth pressed into a thin line, and for a moment, Severina thought she might keep pushing. But instead, she exhaled sharply and sat back, crossing her arms.
“Fine. But if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me.”
Severina nodded, relief and guilt warring in her chest. “Thanks.”
Lily softened slightly, reaching out to squeeze Severina’s arm. “Just... take care of yourself, okay? And get some rest. You look like you need it.”
“I will,” Severina promised, even though she wasn’t sure she meant it.
——-
The library was a haven of calm in an otherwise chaotic castle, and Severina had always found solace among the rows of books. She traced her fingers along the spines as she moved through the shelves, selecting a hefty tome on Advanced Potions Theory.
Finding her usual seat tucked into a quiet corner, she sank into it with a relieved sigh. For the first time all day, the noise in her mind quieted.
The words on the page blurred together after a few moments, her focus fraying. She absently rubbed the scratches on her knuckles, the faint sting grounding her as she tried to gather her thoughts.
The chair across from her scraped against the floor, jolting her from her reverie. She looked up sharply to see Sirius Black lounging in the seat, his smirk as infuriating as ever.
“Don’t you have anything better to do?” she snapped, closing her book with a thud.
“Not really,” Sirius replied breezily, leaning back in his chair. “I saw you sulking over here and thought I’d grace you with my presence.”
“I’m not sulking,” Severina muttered, reopening her book.
“Right,” Sirius said, his tone dripping with sarcasm. He studied her for a moment, his grin faltering. “You’ve been... quiet, you know. Weirdly quiet. Not that I’m complaining.” He quickly backtracked on his nice behaviour.
“Then don’t,” Severina retorted.
Sirius huffed and tapped his fingers on the table. “You should come to the match tomorrow. Gryffindor versus Slytherin. Should be... entertaining.”
She raised an eyebrow. “So I can watch you make a fool of yourself on a broom? Tempting.”
“Come on, Snape,” Black said, his smirk creeping back. “You’ll get to see me wipe the pitch with your lot. What could be better?”
Severina rolled her eyes. “Pass.”
Before the boy could reply, a trio of voices called out her name. She turned to see Lily, Charity, and Aurora approaching, their faces lighting up when they spotted her.
“Sev!” Lily exclaimed, sliding into the seat beside her. “We’ve been looking for you all afternoon.”
“Are you hiding again?” Charity teased, setting her bag on the table.
“Just trying to study,” Severina said, shooting a pointed look at Black.
“Well, you’ve been cooped up for too long,” Lily declared, brushing aside her protest. “Tomorrow, you’re coming to the Quidditch match with us.”
“Absolutely not,” Severina said firmly.
Aurora tilted her head. “It could be fun, Severina. And we’ll all be there.”
“It’s settled,” Lily said with a grin that left no room for argument. “You’re going. No excuses.”
Black shot her a triumphant look as he stood to leave. “See you at the match, Snape. Try not to cheer too loudly when we win.”
Severina groaned, burying her face in her hands as her friends laughed around her.
——-
As the library door swung shut behind Lily, Charity, and Aurora, Severina allowed herself a moment to breathe. The silence was a relief after their enthusiastic cajoling.
She appreciated their concern, but the thought of being dragged into the chaos of a Quidditch match—and enduring Sirius Black’s inevitable antics—was not appealing.
She turned back to her book, but a shadow fell across the page. She glanced up, her brow furrowing as Regulus Black stood before her, his hands tucked neatly behind his back.
“You don’t want to go to the match tomorrow?” he asked, his voice soft and polite, though his sharp grey eyes gave nothing away.
Severina hesitated, then closed her book with a deliberate motion. “No. I prefer my ears intact.”
Regulus’s mouth quirked, though his expression remained largely unreadable. “Fair enough. May I?” He gestured to the seat Sirius had recently vacated.
After a moment’s pause, she gave a reluctant nod.
Regulus sat with a precision that felt almost practiced. He studied her in silence for a moment, his gaze flicking to the books scattered across the table. “Advanced Potions Theory,” he remarked. “Again?”
She bristled slightly. “Some of us like to perfect our craft.”
“Perfection.” He tilted his head, his tone contemplative. “It’s a heavy burden, isn’t it?”
Her eyes narrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just an observation,” he replied lightly, though there was an edge of sincerity beneath the words. “You’re always... composed. Always the one holding things together.”
Severina felt her defenses rising. “And that bothers you?”
“Not at all,” he said. “It’s... admirable. You care about your siblings, don’t you?”
Her jaw tightened. “Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?”
Regulus hesitated, his gaze dropping briefly to the table. “Not everyone does.”
The admission hung in the air between them, quiet and raw. Severina blinked, surprised by the vulnerability in his tone.
“You mean Sirius,” she said cautiously.
Regulus’s lips pressed into a thin line, and for a moment, she thought he might shut down. But then he gave a slight nod. “He left,” he said simply. “Chose his freedom over his family.”
Severina frowned. “Can you blame him? From what I’ve heard...”
“You’ve heard his side,” Regulus cut in, his voice sharper now. “There are always two sides, Snape.”
She stared at him, unsure how to respond. Regulus took a slow breath, seeming to wrestle with his thoughts.
“I don’t expect you to understand,” he said finally, his voice quieter now. “But it’s hard, living in someone’s shadow. Especially when they’re so determined to cast you aside.”
The words struck a chord, though Severina wasn’t sure why. “I doubt he wanted to cast you aside,” she said, her tone softer than before.
Regulus gave a hollow laugh. “You don’t know him like I do.”
“Maybe not,” she admitted. “But I know what it’s like to care about someone who drives you mad.”
That earned a faint smile from him, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “And yet, you don’t give up on them.”
“No,” she said firmly. “I don’t.”
Regulus studied her for a long moment, something unspoken passing between them. Then he stood, smoothing an invisible crease from his robes.
“You’re a better sibling than most,” he said, his tone almost grudging. “Maybe Sirius could learn a thing or two from you.”
Before she could respond, he turned and walked away, leaving her alone with her thoughts.
Severina stared at the empty chair, Regulus’s words lingering in her mind. For all his sharp edges and guarded demeanor, there was something undeniably human in his quiet pain.
And, though she wouldn’t admit it aloud, she understood it all too well.
Saturday arrived with a crisp, autumn chill that swept across the grounds of Hogwarts, carrying with it the smell of damp grass and fallen leaves. The sky was a perfect, cloudless blue, and the stands surrounding the Quidditch pitch were buzzing with excitement as students poured in, wrapped in scarves and clutching snacks from the kitchens.
Severina stood at the edge of the pitch, arms crossed tightly over her chest. Despite her protests, Lily had insisted she attend, dragging her out of the library that morning with the same determination she brought to everything. Charity and Aurora had joined them, the former chattering excitedly about the match while Aurora trailed behind, lost in her own daydreams.
“Isn’t it perfect weather for a game?” Lily said, nudging Severina with her elbow as they climbed the stairs to the stands.
“Perfect weather to freeze,” Severina muttered, though she followed without further complaint.
From their spot near the top of the Hufflepuff section, she had a clear view of the pitch below. The players were already assembling, their robes whipping in the breeze as they mounted their brooms. The Gryffindor team stood out in their scarlet uniforms, and Severina’s eyes immediately found Sirius Black among them. He was laughing with James Potter, his broom slung casually over his shoulder.
“Show-off,” she muttered under her breath, earning a knowing grin from Lily.
As the teams took to the air, the crowd erupted into cheers. Severina’s gaze drifted across the stands, scanning for familiar faces. She spotted Nikolai in the Slytherin section, his dark hair windswept as he leaned forward eagerly. A pang of guilt struck her as she remembered his confrontation the day before.
“Do you see Nikolai?” she asked, nudging Lily.
Lily followed her gaze and smiled. “He looks like he’s having fun. Maybe you should go sit with him.”
Severina shook her head. “He’s with his friends. Besides, I’m fine here.”
Her attention shifted again, this time landing on Isabelle, who was seated a few rows down with a group of Ravenclaw first-years. She was bundled in a faded blue scarf, her small face lit up with excitement as she pointed out the players to her friends. Severina felt a small smile tug at her lips. Isabelle always found a way to enjoy herself, no matter the circumstances.
The match began with a shrill blast of Madam Hooch’s whistle, and the players shot into the air like arrows. The Quaffle was quickly taken by a Gryffindor Chaser, who wove skillfully through the Slytherin defense.
“Come on, Gryffindor!” Lily shouted, cupping her hands around her mouth.
Severina winced at the volume but couldn’t help following the game. Gryffindor’s Seeker was already circling the pitch, eyes scanning for the Snitch, while the Beaters exchanged powerful hits with their bats.
Sirius, true to form, was everywhere at once. He darted in and out of the action with effortless grace, intercepting a Bludger meant for James and then sending it hurtling toward the Slytherin Chasers. The crowd roared as his broom dipped into a steep dive, narrowly avoiding collision with a Slytherin Beater.
“He’s good, isn’t he?” Lily said, her voice filled with pride.
Severina didn’t respond, though she couldn’t deny it. For all his arrogance, Sirius was undeniably skilled.
“Do you think Nikolai will try out for the team next year?” Charity asked, her voice carrying over the din of the match.
Severina shrugged. “Maybe. He’s always been more interested in dueling than Quidditch, but who knows?”
The match continued at a breakneck pace, with Gryffindor pulling ahead by thirty points. The crowd’s energy was infectious, and Severina found herself caught up in the excitement despite her initial reluctance.
When the Snitch finally appeared, a glimmer of gold near the Gryffindor goalposts, the Seeker’s race to capture it was so intense that the entire crowd held its breath. In the end, Gryffindor’s Seeker caught it just inches away from the Slytherin’s grasp, securing their victory.
The stands erupted in cheers, and Severina watched as Sirius and James celebrated in midair, their brooms looping in victory. She shook her head, a small smirk playing at her lips.
As the crowd began to disperse, she caught sight of Isabelle bounding up the stairs toward her.
“Did you see that?” Isabelle exclaimed, her cheeks flushed with excitement. “Sirius was amazing!”
Severina raised an eyebrow. “Amazing, was he?”
Isabelle nodded eagerly. “He flew right past me! I think he smiled, too.”
Severina rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a smile. “Let’s get you something to eat before you faint from excitement.”
Together, they made their way toward the castle, the hum of post-match chatter surrounding them. For the first time in days, Severina felt a flicker of ease. It wouldn’t last, she knew, but for now, it was enough.
——-
Hogwarts was transforming into a winter wonderland. Garlands of holly and ivy were draped along the staircases, enchanted snowflakes drifted lazily from the enchanted ceiling of the Great Hall, and the smell of cinnamon and nutmeg filled the air. Severina caught sight of students eagerly writing letters home, discussing plans for Christmas, or swapping Chocolate Frog cards by the fire.
Severina, however, felt a familiar weight settling over her. The thought of returning home for the holidays, to the responsibility of looking after her siblings and facing her father, filled her with a strange mixture of longing and dread. She kept herself busy in the library, poring over potions essays and Arithmancy charts, hoping the work would quiet her nerves.
But her friends had other ideas.
“I’ll miss you, you know,” Charity said, sitting on the armrest of Severina’s chair in the common room one evening. “Promise you’ll write?”
Severina glanced up from her book and gave a faint smile. “Of course. But don’t expect anything exciting. It’s just going to be—”
“Family time?” Charity interjected with a grin. “Well, it’s better than nothing. I expect to hear all about how you keep your brothers in line.”
Aurora appeared beside her, a daydreamy expression on her face. “You’ll be fine. You always are. But we’ll miss you here. Won’t be the same without you cleaning up after us.”
Severina smirked. “You’re capable of surviving a few weeks without me, I think.”
Charity leaned closer, mock-conspiratorial. “Barely.”
They laughed softly, the easy companionship lightening Severina’s mood. For a moment, she allowed herself to feel a flicker of gratitude for the bonds she’d formed here, even if her mind was already preoccupied with thoughts of home.
——-
The night before they were set to leave for the Christmas holidays, Severina found herself walking alone along the corridor outside the Great Hall. Most students were busy packing or celebrating the end of term with last-minute snowball fights on the grounds. She had taken the opportunity to slip away, needing a moment to herself.
She was startled when she turned the corner and nearly walked into Bruce Mulciber.
“Severina,” he said, stepping back quickly. His expression was unreadable, but there was a slight furrow in his brow, as though he was debating whether to say more.
“Mulciber,” she replied, her tone even but cautious. It had been awkward between them lately, and she didn’t yet know why.
For a moment, there was only silence. Then, with an awkwardness that seemed uncharacteristic of him, Bruce said, “I heard about… what happened last week. Are you all right?”
Severina stiffened. “I’m fine,” she said curtly, though her fingers twitched as she adjusted the strap of her bag. “Thanks for asking.”
“You don’t look fine,” he pressed, his voice quieter now.
“Mulciber, I—” she began, but her voice trailed off as her eyes flicked over his shoulder. Someone was standing further down the corridor, leaning against the wall and watching them.
Sirius Black.
His expression was unreadable, though Severina thought she caught a flicker of something that wasn’t amusement in his eyes. Anger? Concern? Whatever it was, it unnerved her.
“Severina?” Mulciber’s voice brought her attention back to him.
She shook her head slightly. “I appreciate the concern, but I really am fine,” she said firmly, stepping around him and walking away without a backward glance.
——-
The next morning, Severina stood in the Slytherin common room, her trunk packed and her winter cloak draped over her arm. Charity and Aurora had insisted on seeing her off, even though neither of them were leaving until later in the day.
Charity fidgeted with the clasp of her own cloak, her bright blonde hair catching the soft green light of the room. “Remember, I want updates. Letters. Plural. Got it?”
Severina smirked, but there was a warmth to her expression. “Got it. And you’d better not be exaggerating how boring your break is just to make mine sound worse.”
Aurora, standing slightly behind Charity, gave her a sleepy smile. “And don’t forget to relax. You don’t always have to fix everything, you know.”
Severina’s gaze softened, but she didn’t respond to that. Instead, she reached out and gave Aurora’s arm a brief squeeze. “Try not to let her drag you into too much mischief while I’m gone.”
Charity laughed. “I make no promises.”
With that, the three shared a final look before Severina turned to leave. As she made her way through the castle toward the train, she allowed herself a small smile. It felt good to know she’d have something to return to after the holidays.
The train platform was bustling with students lugging trunks, cages, and broomsticks onto the scarlet Hogwarts Express. Severina had barely stepped into the corridor of the train when she was intercepted by Nikolai, who looked unusually serious.
“Where were you last week?” he asked, his voice low.
Severina blinked. “What do you mean?”
“You didn’t come back to the common room that night. I know you didn’t,” he said, crossing his arms.
Severina hesitated. She could see the worry in his eyes, though he was doing his best to mask it. “I was... fine. I needed some space, and I found a quiet place to think.”
“You mean you didn’t want me to know,” he said flatly.
Her heart twisted. She hated lying to him, but she didn’t want him worrying more than he already did. “It’s not like that, Kolya,” she said, using his nickname in a rare moment of affection. “I just needed to be alone for a bit. I’m fine, really.”
He studied her for a moment, then sighed. “If you say so. But if you’re not fine, you have to tell me, okay? We look out for each other.”
Severina felt a lump rise in her throat. “Okay,” she said quietly, and she reached out to ruffle his hair—a gesture she knew he hated but secretly appreciated.
As they made their way to their compartment, Severina couldn’t help but glance out the window at the snowy hills rolling past. A small part of her wished she could stay at Hogwarts, where her friends and routines provided a semblance of stability.
But home awaited, with all the complications it brought.