“And I’ve got to start working again, I’m going crazy. I just… I don’t want to leave Teddy and Tate in some daycare for an entire day while I’m at work. Lykos helps me as much as she can, but she has a life ya know?” Remus said. It had been about 2 years since he’d been back to work.
After his wife died, he stayed home with his kids because they were well off. He didn’t have to work but he loved his job. He’s a lawyer, one of the best in the business. Last month he moved back to Wisconsin, he could be near his sister and closer friends this way. He only moved to New York for his wife, and he didn’t know too many people there besides the small friend group he had accumulated, and those were mostly parents of Teddy and Tate’s friends anyways.
“Yeah, that makes sense. Why don’t you hire a nanny? Then Teddy and Tate could stay at home, and you could pay the nanny extra to take them to the zoo and fun shit like that.” Lily was always incredibly sensible. She always knew exactly the right thing to say.
“That’s… a really good idea actually.” Remus said, taking a sip of his drink. It would help ease Remus’ worries a bit. “I would have to really look into each person, you just never know nowadays.” Lily nodded.
“Oh, 100%. James and I can help you interview if you’d like! Give it a think and let us know.”
“Well, I’ll think about it. Let me know if you hear about anyone who’s looking.”
***
“We want to see Harry!” Teddy was saying as he was practically running out the door. Harry’s 4th birthday party was today, and his kids couldn’t be more excited. In the few months he’s moved home he’d gotten extremely close with James, Lily and their son, Harry. He always felt close to Lily, but Facetime calls and texts don’t seem as real as when you’re in person with the people you love. He’d gotten to know James a lot better since being home. He only knew James briefly before he moved away, but now he feels like an old friend. Remus knew Tate and Teddy loved having a friend their age.
“We’re leaving right now bubs.” Remus said ruffling Teddy’s hair. He and Tate are 4 as well, and it just seems like time has flown by, especially since Dora died. They got in their car and drove the short distance to the Potter’s residence. There were balloons on the mailbox and a balloon arch on the front door as well. Lily opened the door with a smile after Remus had knocked.
“Finally!” She said, smiling brightly, escorting them inside. Teddy and Tate practically ran to Harry who looked just as excited to see them.
“Harry has been waiting for them to show up. He is obsessed with them.” Remus laughed and nodded.
“This is pretty much all they’ve been talking about for weeks.” Lily laughed too and grabbed the present; Remus followed her to the living room where James was with some of the other adults. There was Lily’s sister and her husband, whom Remus knew very well, and then a few people Remus didn’t recognize so they must be James’ friends or family.
“Remus!” James said, big smile on his perfect face. James was insanely handsome, and Remus didn’t even mean that in a super bisexual way… well, he sort of did, but he was just one of those hit you in the face type of handsome.
The man he was talking to turned around and Remus was practically knocked out with how gorgeous this man was. He’d never even really thought another man was gorgeous before, but he wasn’t sure what other word could possibly fit. He had long black hair, flowing down perfectly to his shoulders and a jawline that could quite literally cut someone. He had grey eyes and a crooked smile that made Remus feel weak in the knees. Remus shook himself out of the trance he was in and cleared his throat.
“James, hey buddy.” Remus said, walking towards him and the gorgeous man. “How ya been?” James smiled and shrugged.
“Hey man, life is great. Can’t complain. This is my brother, Sirius. Sirius, this is who I’ve been telling you about. Remus Lupin.” Remus almost choked at the word brother. Besides being different races, the two really looked nothing alike. James dark hair was short, and he had brown eyes, contrasting Sirius’ lighter eyes. He must have seen the confusion on his face because Sirius chuckled.
“I’m adopted.” He said, his voice was like nothing he’d ever heard before. Deep and perfect. “We get that look a lot.” Remus chuckled and nodded.
“I… makes sense.” Sirius smiled and Remus was quite sure that he wouldn’t be able to survive this party if Sirius was going to keep looking the way he did.
“So, you’re the other guy with a weird name in these parts, huh?” Asked Sirius grinning. Remus laughed and shrugged.
“I mean, weird is subjective. You say potato, I saw potauto.” Sirius nodded with a small smirk and then Remus felt little hands on his legs.
“Daddy!” Tate had tears in her eyes. Remus leaned down to her level and grabbed her hands.
“What is it, angel?” He asked. He knew he spoiled his kids, but he couldn’t help it. They’d been through a lot.
“Teddy said I can’t play superheroes with him and Harry, but I really want to and then he said it was just for boys.” She was stuttering a lot because she was crying. Remus was absolutely not Ok with that. He understood if his kids didn’t always want to play together, but he tried hard to let them know that there aren’t “boy” things and “girl” things.
“Okay love, you go get him and tell him I need to talk to him.” Tate ran off quickly, probably pleased that Teddy was going to get a talking to. James chuckled.
“A father’s job is never over, is it?” He said, Remus laughed too. As quick as Tate had run off, she was back in front of him, Teddy and Harry both following behind her slowly.
“Theodore, get over here now.” Remus said, dad voice officially on.
“You too, Harry.” James said behind him. The both of them crouched down at the same time to the boys and Remus thought he might have heard Sirius chuckle behind them.
“Tate told me that you said she couldn’t play superheroes with you, and that it was for boys. Is that true?” Asked Remus. He always gave his kids an opportunity to be honest and hear both sides of the story. Teddy looked sad and he was pouting a bit, but he nodded.
“Yes. I said that because she was following me, and it made me upset.” Teddy said, crossing his arms. Remus sighed. Teddy had been in a phase lately where he only liked playing with Tate sometimes and then would get mean with her when he didn’t want to. Remus didn’t know what to do about it.
“Do you know what I do when I’m upset?” A voice asked from behind them. It was Sirius, leaning down to Teddy’s level as well. Teddy didn’t know Sirius at all but looked intrigued.
“What?” Asked Teddy. Sirius smiled.
“I say ‘bubbles’ in the most serious, mean and grumpy voice. Then it sounds so silly like that, it always makes me feel better.” He then did it, causing Teddy to giggle and Remus was hiding his smile. “Then, I know I won’t say something mean to hurt someone’s feelings. ‘Cause I don’t like when my feelings are hurt, so I don’t want to hurt someone else’s.” Teddy looked really thoughtful for a few moments before nodding.
“Yeah… I felt bad making Tate sad… I just… got mad.” Sirius nodded.
“Hey, I get it.” He said, completely validating Teddy’s emotions. Remus was swooning. “But what if Tate said you couldn’t play with her? Wouldn’t that make you super sad?” Teddy nodded.
“Yeah… it would make me sad.”
“Maybe next time, try my bubbles trick. Then just tell her you want to play alone for a little while, but she can play later. Because there aren’t “boy” games and “girl” games, everyone can play any game!” Sirius said. Teddy smiled and nodded.
“Yeah… and Tate is the best at being Spiderman.” He said with a huge grin.
“Are you?” Sirius asked Tate who was now smiling, tears gone.
“Oh yeah.” She said.
“She is the bestest, Uncle Sirius.” Harry said. Sirius laughed and nodded.
“Well, go on then, Spiderman!” He said and the three kids ran off giggling like mad. The men stood up and Sirius had a slight blush on his cheeks. “I… sorry for stepping in, I… that was completely out of bounds. I just, when my kids at work acted like that, the bubbles thing works like a charm.” Remus shook his head with a grin.
“No, don’t apologize, that was amazing. I am so incredibly out of my depth with them lately. Having two kids the same age going through everything at the same time seems nice… until you realize that you have no clue what you’re doing.” Sirius laughed and nodded. “What do you do for work?” Asked Remus.
“I was a nanny, actually, for about 7 years. The youngest one just got to middle school and the oldest started high school, and they didn’t need a nanny anymore, so I’ve been babysitting a lot lately.” Did Lily know this? Did she plan to have the two of them talk? Knowing her, probably.
“I… well, not to be too direct… I’ve been looking for a nanny for a while. I want to get back to work but I don’t want Tate and Teddy to be at a daycare all day and, well, anyway… Any chance you’re looking for a new nanny job?”
***
“This is Mr. Sirius, he’s going to be taking care of you while I go to work, Ok?” Remus was crouched down on their level and Tate jumped into his arms.
“Daddy don’t you wanna be with us anymore?” Remus’ heart clenched.
“Of course, I do, love.” Remus felt his eyes welling. “I love you both so much! But Mr. Sirius is gonna hang out with you so I can go to work and help people! You met him a bunch of times and liked him a lot, remember?”
“You guys can just call me, Sirius.” He said, getting down to the kids' level too. “We are going to have so much fun! We can paint, play outside, go to the park! Whatever you want to do.” Tate pulled away from Remus a little bit but still was holding onto him.
“Could we… go to the zoo?” Asked Tate. Teddy nodded excitedly behind her.
“Of course, we can!” Sirius said, earning two excited giggles from the twins.
“Ok… well, maybe this won’t be so bad, daddy.” Tate said, letting go of Remus completely. Remus suddenly felt a pang of guilt. Should he be doing this?
“They’ll be alright, Mr. Lupin. You don’t have to worry.” Remus chuckled.
“Oh, please. Remus is fine. I have a credit card on the counter for you, along with their usual daily schedules. They’re not tied to it at all though. They haven’t been napping as long anymore, so I usually just put them to bed around 1 and then let them sleep until they wake up, no later than 3 though. Any other questions, just call or text me, my number is on the counter as well.”
“Sirius, can we play ninjas?” Teddy called from the living room. And Remus knew they were going to be fine. But his first day of work brain totally forgot to bring his lunch. He popped home around 1:30 after a pretty productive morning on a new case.
“Isn’t there anything you can do? I could do some custodial work again or literally anything.” Sirius’ voice sounded desperate. “Okay, I understand… Yeah, thanks.” Remus walked into the living room fully to find Sirius sitting on the couch, the baby monitor in one hand and throwing his cellphone on the couch in frustration with the other.
“You okay?” Asked Remus as he walked in. Sirius jumped, clearly not expecting Remus to be home.
“Mr. Lupin, I’m sorry. Just… trouble with my apartment.” He said looking embarrassed. Remus shook his head and went to sit down next to him on the couch.
“Remus, remember?” He said with a smile, Sirius smiled back, and Remus was sure that he’d never known anyone as beautiful as Sirius and that he never would. “What kind of trouble?”
“My rent is late, and this is the 4th time recently. My landlord has been pretty forgiving, but he said there’s nothing he can do and I’m getting booted.” Sirius was obviously trying to hold back tears and Remus felt helpless to do anything.
“I’m so sorry to hear that.” Remus meant it, he was sad to hear something bad was happening to Sirius, who by all accounts that Remus knew, was a pretty decent person. Sirius shrugged.
“It is what it is, I guess. I know my parents would help me out, I just feel bad asking for handouts from them. They’ve done so much for me already.” Remus nodded. He understood that. The only reason Remus was wealthy in any accounts was the considerable sum his and Dora’s parents left the two of them. When Dora died, it all went to Remus and the kids. Dora’s parents pretty much took Remus in as their own, since Remus lost his parents young.
“Why don’t you stay here?” Remus said without really thinking about it… was that really a good idea? I mean, Remus had fairly good self-control, but he was also insanely attracted to Sirius.
“What?” Sirius asked, sounding taken aback.
“We have 2 spare rooms that no one uses.” Remus said as if that was the most reasonable thing in the world… and it sort of was.
“I… I couldn’t. I… can’t accept a handout from you…” Remus chuckled and shook his head.
“Plenty of nannies live with the families they work with. Then you’d be here, no commute. You could still be “off duty” when I get home. I see no problems!” Sirius thought for a moment before answering.
“I… are you sure?” Remus nodded. He was pretty sure he’d do anything Sirius asked of him… and that was insane considering he’d only met him 2 months ago.
“Positive.”
***
One Thursday when Remus got home especially late from work, he rushed through the door, a string of apologies for not getting home sooner right at his lip. He expected Sirius to be annoyed, I mean he was cutting into his free time. It wasn’t as though Remus didn’t tell him he’d be late, he called and said he just could not get out of it. And obviously he would pay Sirius for overtime.
But as he went upstairs to check on the kids, he never missed bedtime he felt horrible, he saw a scene that almost made him cry.
“If it’s not a happy ending, then it hasn’t ended yet. So—” Sirius’s story time was cut off by Teddy practically screaming,
“Daddy!” Teddy jumped out of Tate’s bed, where they were all 3 laying, and crashed into Remus as he lifted him up in the air. “We missed you! You’re in time to hear the rest of the story with us!”
“Lay down with us, Daddy!” Tate said, pushing over towards Sirius so that there was a small sliver of space on the end of the bed, not nearly big enough for Remus’s tall frame but he would make do. He slid into the bed, most of his body hanging off the side, but it didn’t really matter. Not when Tate and Teddy were so happy.
“Keep going, Sirius!” Tate said. “This is my favorite book ever!” Sirius finished The Worrysaurus and then Teddy got up, grabbing his stuffed animal and Remus walked him to his room. He kissed Teddy on the forehead and tucked him in, then went back to Tate’s room, watching Sirius do the same thing.
“Sirius?” She asked.
“Yes, Ms. Tater tot?” She giggled and yawned, clearly she was exhausted.
“Are you going to live with us forever?” Sirius paused, and Remus was curious how he was going to answer this question without breaking the heart of his baby girl.
“Man, I would love that, Tater tot. But, you know, sometimes good things don’t always last forever. It just depends.”
“On what?”
“Well, lots of things! I mean, you and Teddy won’t live with your daddy forever either, and it will be a good thing! You’ll move out when you’re big enough to take care of yourselves.” Tate thought about this for a moment.
“That would be scary.” She said quietly. Sirius tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear and rubbed her head.
“Aw, sometimes things can be scary… but the scary things are usually the most important parts. Don’t you worry Tater. I’m gonna be around for a while.”
“Good.” She said, sleepily. Remus could tell she was about to fall asleep, so he swooped in behind Sirius.
“We’re lucky to have Sirius, Tate.” Remus said. Sirius scooted out of the way and Remus kissed her forehead, she quickly nodded off and Sirius and Remus walked out of her room. Remus headed downstairs while Sirius quickly went into Teddy’s room, to say goodnight, Remus assumed, then followed down.
Sirius grabbed a glass from the pantry and got himself some water, then sat down at the table. Remus was mesmerized by him. The way he was with Teddy and Tate really just… added to the crush Remus had on this man.
“I am so sorry I’m late. Thank you so much for getting them to bed on time… you’re amazing.” Sirius blushed and it pleased Remus that he was able to effect Sirius like that… maybe there was something…
Maybe Sirius liked him too.
“Oh, please, Remus. It was hardly a horrible task. You’ve raised amazing children.” Remus smiled.
“Most of that was Dora… she was… she was something else.” He grabbed a bottle of wine from his wine rack and grabbed two glasses and sat down across from him, opening the bottle, and pouring wine for them both. Sirius glanced up at Remus with a small smirk.
“Wine? At my place of employment?” Remus laughed and rolled his eyes with a smile.
“Oh please, you’re off the clock.” Sirius eyed him once more; an unexpected expression crossed his face… Remus couldn’t read it. Sirius grabbed the wine and took a sip.
“You never really talk about her.” Sirius said, quietly. The red wine was staining his lips an even more delectable shade of pink… Remus really couldn’t take it.
“Hm?”
“Your late wife.” Remus was brought back to reality.
“I suppose I don’t with most people. But not in a bad way… I… she was my best friend.” Sirius nodded.
“Sure, that makes sense. I mean, I yell at James for it, but he always says Lily is his best friend.” Remus smiled and shook his head.
“No… I mean, well. She was just my best friend. I guess we sort of, grew to love each other in that way. I mean… I thought she was stunning, funny, and kind…” Sirius looked confused.
“Oh, you mean… you weren’t in love with her?” Remus sighed. He really didn’t know.
“Our relationship has always been hard to explain. By all accounts we were just best friends, we’d been friends since childhood. We had one drunken night together, resulting in the twins… and I wouldn’t change that for the world. We got married shortly after because Dora’s family was a sort of… high society family who just really wouldn’t understand being platonically in love and raising kids together. We were 26, we’d both talked about how we wanted kids so we decided to do the thing together… but I don’t think I’ve ever been in love with someone the way Lily love James or my sister loves her husband. Like… I loved Dora so much; she gave me my kids and she gave me a happy life… but were we in love? I… I don’t think so.” Sirius was nodding in understanding throughout the whole story.
“I understand more than you know.” He said after a few moments.
“You do?” Sirius nodded and took another long sip of his wine.
“I… I was betrothed before.” Remus almost choked on his wine.
“You were… who says betrothed nowadays?” Sirius laughed.
“Well, Remus. I do, obviously.” He was so handsome it almost felt like it was punching Remus in the gut. “I, uh, my birth parents… they were pretty awful. It’s not the same situation as you and Dora at all, obviously you two cared about each other. But I was… I came from a high society family. I was the heir, they wanted me to—to marry this heiress who was just, well, she was the worst! We had been betrothed since birth and that’s not… I’m not… I’m, well, I’m gay! So… obviously that wasn’t going to work for me. My whole, being gay thing, the primary reason that my birth brother, Regulus, and I were disowned.”
“Sirius… well, that’s really awful. I’m sorry. I’m glad you have the Potter’s. Obviously they’re your real family.” Sirius smiled and then seemed to be a bit embarrassed.
“God… I’m sorry. You were talking about your dead wife, and I went and made it all about me.” Remus smiled.
“You’re fine, Sirius. I liked talking to you about Dora. And I liked learning more about you.” Sirius got that cute blush on his face again and he imagined him blushing in a very different scenario… and then he had to take a few calming breaths because obviously the wine was making him think things…
“I liked learning more about you too. It’s funny. We live together and we haven’t really… talked much. Besides the children.” Remus nodded.
“Well, tell me everything then.” Sirius laughed; the sound was amazing… it sounded like the best song you’ve ever heard.
“Everything? You might not really want to be my friend if you learn everything.” There was a dangerous tone to his voice… challenging almost.
“I’m sure it would only make me want to be your friend more.”
“You’re so…” Sirius started, and then quickly took a sip of his wine. “I always forget you’re 4 years older than me… since you’re friends with Lily and she’s my age. How did you two even meet?” Remus smiled at the memory.
“At a bookshop brawl, actually.” Sirius chuckled.
“I’m sorry, I’m not a huge nerd, can you clarify what a bookshop brawl is?”
“It’s when there’s a new book out and the bookshops are insane. Lily pushed someone out of the way and grabbed two copies, one for her, one for me, I thought she was awesome and I simply needed to be her friend. We got coffee and then talked like we’d been friends forever. It was before she knew she was pregnant…I had just gotten married… God, it feels like a lifetime ago.”
“It sort of was a lifetime ago.” Remus nodded, that was true. So much had changed in so little time. “Let’s move to the couch, this chair is hurting my ass.” Remus barked a laugh but then followed Sirius to the living room, he couldn’t help but check out Sirius’s ass, he brought it up, and… yeah, Remus was utterly and completely fucked.
***
“Daddy, is Sirius your husband?” Remus almost spit out his orange juice but regained some of his composure.
“No!” He cleared his throat. “I… no, angel. Why—why would you think that?” Tate shrugged and took a bite of her toast. It was a Saturday morning and Sirius was off today, so he was still asleep. Teddy was asleep too, but Tate was always an early riser.
“My friend Sasha has a daddy, and her daddy has a husband. And the husband lives at their house and takes care of Sasha and her sister and goes with them on play dates. Sirius does all that for me and Teddy, so isn’t it the same?” Remus sighed and thought about how to explain this to her.
“Well, a husband is someone you’re married to. Sirius and I aren’t married, he is just a really nice man who helps me to take care of you guys. Because I go to work and then you guys can stay here with him.” Tate looked confused.
“What’s married mean?” She was too intuitive for her own good.
“Um… Mommy and me, we were married. It’s when you have a party with all your favorite people, and you get to dress up and then you stand in front of everyone and say that you’ll always love each other no matter what. And it’s all legal, which means that everyone knows that you’re together.” Tate nodded.
“Okay… so can you and Sirius get married?” Remus sputtered and knew his face was bright red. It had been about a month since Sirius moved in and Remus would consider them friends, but Remus’s one-sided crush was getting a bit unbearable.
“You don’t get married unless you’re in love.” Tate looked thoughtful for a moment.
“And you’re not in love with Sirius?” She asked.
“Well, I care about him a lot! As a—a friend! He takes care of you and Teddy so that makes him super amazing in my book. He is kind and loving, but it’s… it’s different than wanting to marry someone, my love.” She nodded and took a sip of her water.
“Okay. Maybe someday you’ll get married again.” Remus heard the pitter patter of little feet coming towards the kitchen, so he figured that was Teddy waking up, Sirius followed, looking really too adorable for words.
“Good morning sleepy heads!” Tate said running to give Sirius a hug. Sirius picked her up and spun her around once before plopping her back down in her seat. She was giggling and Remus couldn’t help but think about how domestic it all felt. And how very much he did want to be with Sirius in that way, but that was never going to happen.
“Sirius, can we go to the Aquarium today?” Tate asked as Sirius was pouring himself a cup of coffee.
“Oh, Sirius is off today guys. But I can take you to the Aquarium. He gets an off day when I’m home on the weekends.” Tate looked excited.
“Yay!” Teddy plopped down in his seat, clearly still tired from just waking up.
“I… I don’t have any plans today.” Sirius said as he sat down in the empty seat beside Remus. “I’d love to come with you guys if you… if you don’t mind.” This shocked Remus. What kind of 26-year-old wants to spend his off day with his boss and two kids?
“Oh… yes. Yes, of course you’re welcome to join. I just… assumed you’d have better things to do on your day off.” Sirius smiled politely and shrugged.
“I love hanging out with Tate and Teddy.” The two kids smiled and jumped out of their seats and excitedly headed towards the stairs.
“I’m gonna wear my fish shirt!” Teddy practically screamed, running up the steps. The two men chuckled.
“Are you sure you want to spend one of your off days with me and two screaming 4-year-olds?” Sirius chuckled and nodded.
“Nothing else I’d rather do, to be honest with you.” And that was pretty much the best thing that Remus had ever heard.
***
This particular Saturday had been weird and quiet. And there really was no reason for that. He had 2 four-year-olds, so it wasn’t quiet… it just felt different.
Sirius wasn’t home.
He had standing plans with James; they had gone to some football/ soccer/ sports match. Lily came over with Harry for a play date with the twins and it was a perfectly lovely day… but Remus missed Sirius.
How pathetic was that? With this stupid one-sided crush, Remus knew he was bound to keep feeling stupid and pathetic but seriously, one day away from him and he felt like it’d be years. The kids were asleep, and he was drinking a glass of wine on the couch. The front door opened, and he knew it was Sirius, and his heart leapt.
Pathetic.
“Rem?”
“Living room!” Remus whisper yelled back. He heard Sirius putting his belongings down and then walking over where Remus was. He sat down next to him on the couch. “How was your day?” Sirius smiled at him.
“Really good. Our team won. I know you don’t give a fuck about soccer, but it was exciting.” Remus chuckled.
“Hey, if you care about soccer, I’m happy for you.” They sat in a comfortable silence for about a minute. “Want some of this wine?” Remus asked, Sirius nodded, and Remus stood up to get a glass for him, pouring him some.
“Did you have a good day?” Asked Sirius, taking a sip. “Damn, this is good wine.” Remus nodded. It was, well, sort of his thing to always have good wine. He was a bit of a wine connoisseur if he did say so himself.
“Yeah, it was great. Harry and Lily came over, so Tate and Ted were in heaven, obviously. I… missed you though. It’s weird. When you’re not here it feels like…” Remus trailed off, he didn’t quite know what to say without being weird or making Sirius think he was insane.
“Feels like?” Sirius prompted with an adorable blush that just was not fair.
“Just feels like our family isn’t complete…” Now Remus was blushing. Great.
“It never feels like I’m the nanny.” Sirius said, sounding small and a bit embarrassed. “I… the other family I nannied for before you guys… well, I loved them, but it was clear. I was the nanny, I was not part of their family, which is fine! With you… with— with the kids… I feel like… I’m wanted.” Remus’s heart felt full at that. He had hoped that their familial situation felt different… he didn’t want their family to just be another one in Sirius’s résumé.
“You are. Wanted. By me… by—by the kids! They, well, god, Sirius, they just love you. They adore you. They were asking all day when you were coming home.”
“That’s nice to hear. I… I love them so much; they’re such amazing kids.” Remus nodded, he had to agree. His kids rocked.
“Wanna watch a movie?” He asked Sirius, he nodded.
“Yeah. Whose turn to pick?”
***
“So, it seems like Sirius is getting along fine with Tate and Teddy?” Lily asked. They were at their monthly brunch date. Life is crazy but not seeing Lily at least once a month to discuss life and all that happens in it is even crazier. He missed her so much when he lived in New York, which is crazy because they really only became friends a few months before he moved.
“Yeah, he’s amazing with them. You knew he was looking for a new job when we met at Harry’s birthday party, didn’t you?” Lily smiled and shrugged, taking a long sip of her mimosa. Remus rolled his eyes with a smile; he’d known she planned it out.
“I figured it would be perfect. James and I know he’s not a serial killer or whatever and he had 7 years of experience.” Remus chuckled.
“It worked out well. So, you all have known each other for a long time then?” Lily laughed.
“Oh yeah, far too long. James and I dated for about 2 years, our last 2 at school, we went to boarding school, you know that. Then I was going to study abroad in Italy for college and he was a starter on his college’s soccer team… and long distance would have been so hard. We broke up until after college when I moved back home and so did he… and well, the rest is history.” Remus smiled, her and James were pretty much perfect for each other.
“I can’t believe I’d never heard that story in full until now.” Lily chuckled.
“Well, we had only just become friends that same year when James and I got back together, and, well, Harry wasn’t exactly planned as you know, we weren’t even married yet! It was all kind of messy. Then you and Dora had to go and leave only a month or so after the twins were born.” Remus smiled but there was sadness behind it. He missed Dora. “Plus you’re a few years older than me, old man. We were fresh out of college, just getting jobs. God, it was all so insane. Getting pregnant while actively looking for a full-time job… not a smart move by the way.” Remus laughed, he loved Lily.
”I guess I never realized how similar our stories were.” Remus said.
”How do you mean?”
“Well, minus the fact that you and James were in a relationship, and fresh out of college, the twins weren’t planned either! I know you and James were engaged when you got pregnant but… I mean, it’s weird how life happens.” Lily laughed.
”You can say that. Sometimes, I look at my life, I look at James and Harry and it doesn’t seem real. Fresh out of college, I had just gotten back together with James that year… and I said yes when he proposed! What the hell was I thinking?” They both laughed. Remus thought that their story was all pretty romantic when you thought about it.
”That you loved him.” Lily smiled fondly at that.
“Yeah… I was still crazy though.”
”Well, of course.” She smiled at him and a comfortable silence passed between them for a few moments.
“How does it feel without her?” Asked Lily. Remus furrowed his brow.
“Without who?” Lily smiled.
“Dora. Like, have you found normalcy without her? Do you think you’d ever get married again?” Remus thought for a moment before speaking.
“I don’t know… our relationship is so hard to explain, you know most of it. I just… we made a good life together. I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I’m glad she was a part of my life, even for a little bit.”
“I think it’s beautiful that you two created a life together even just for a little bit.” Remus smiled, Lily never judged anything Remus said, and it was so refreshing.
“Thanks, Lil. I’m glad I moved back home though. I’m glad I have you and James and—and Sirius. It makes things a little bit easier. I love Ly and her husband obviously, but I’m glad to have someone besides my sister.” Lily laughed and nodded.
“Found family.” She said simply. And that was a beautiful way to put it.
***
“Auntie Ly I missed you!” Tate practically screamed as Lykos walked through the door. Ly smiled and dropped to her knees, enveloping Tate in a hug.
“I’ve missed you too, honey.” She said, lifting her up in her arms. “Your daddy hasn’t needed babysitter Auntie Ly anymore since Sirius came around.” She said it in that specific tone that Remus could read… Your daddy hasn’t needed me to babysit since he has the hots for the nanny he hired for you.
“Hey, I’ll always need you.” Remus said. She smiled, placing Tate down and giving Teddy a kiss on the head. He was sitting at the kitchen table coloring.
“When you and Sirius have to go somewhere together.” Remus gave her A Look TM. She rolled her eyes.
“Stop it.” He said in a lowered voice. “It’s not like that. It’s for Lily’s birthday… Lily’s his sister-in-law and friend too. That’s it.” She smiled, a sort of mischievous one.
“Yes, but you’re going together.” She said, matching his lowered tone. “It just seems a little domestic if you ask me.”
“Good thing no one’s asking you.” She laughed and plopped down next to Teddy. “And why wouldn’t we go together considering we live in the same house?”
“Can I color with you?” She asked Teddy, who looked excited and grabbed some paper for her. “Deny it all you want Remmy… I know you.” Remus shushed her as he heard Sirius walking down the stairs. He looked beautiful and Remus was truly doomed. He was wearing a tight silver top, almost sheer but not quite and black skinny jeans that hugged his butt in all the right places.
“You… look…” Remus cleared his throat and remembered that his children and sister were right there. “You look great.” He finished lamely. Sirius was smiling that brilliant smile of his.
“Well thanks. I can look nice even though I’m a nanny. You look really good too.” Remus wanted to laugh, all he had on was a red sweater (his favorite one) and looser light blue jeans. Compared to Sirius, he looked too casual. Sirius hugged both the kids quickly before grabbing his coat. It made Remus feel like this entire scene was as domestic as Lykos had said. Remus grabbed his coat as well, gave both the twins kisses on their foreheads and headed out the door, yelling a thanks at Lykos, Sirius following. Remus opened the passenger door for Sirius who had a very slight blush on his cheeks, maybe from the cool January air. Either way, he was adorable.
“Oh wow, what a gentleman.” Sirius said as he sat down. Remus chuckled and closed the door, walking around to the driver’s side and sitting down.
“That’s me.” They spoke in casual conversation the whole way there and Remus just loved spending time with Sirius in any way that he could. They got to the bar and the rest of the group was already there, sitting at a large booth in the back corner.
“Remmy, Siri!” Lily said sliding out of the booth and hugging both of them. “Look at you cuties.” She had a certain tone to her voice, almost like Lykos… a knowing tone of how embarrassing Remus’s crush on Sirius was.
“Happy birthday, Lil.” He said, grabbing her tightly. Then he whispered in her ear. “I know you said no presents, but I had to.” He handed her a card and she gave him a disapproving smile. She opened it and found the ‘coupon’ Remus had made. Redeem this coupon for one night, child free. Curtesy of Remus Lupin. She hugged him again.
“You’re too sweet.” She said, pulling away. “Let’s party!”
Remus didn’t particularly like getting drunk. He’d have a couple drinks and then usually stop when he got to that nice feeling of being slightly buzzed. His father was a drunk, and the little he does remember about him was him being an asshole on the bottle. However, he had been drunk before.
But not like this.
Maybe it was the way Sirius was dancing, or the one too many bourbons he’d drank… but he’d never felt so insatiable before. It was getting harder and harder to hide his crush on Sirius and the drunker he got, the little he actually cared about hiding it at all.
“Can you please stop making eyes at my brother-in-law and come dance with us?” Lily’s voice was in his ear, and it shocked him. He turned to her with feign confusion.
“No idea what you mean by that…” She rolled her eyes, clearly she was drunk as well.
“It’s so obvious, Remmy.” She was slurring, where was James? He looked to the dance floor to see all their friends out there, including James, dancing right by Sirius.
“Whatever, drunk birthday girl. Let’s dance then.” She smiled and pulled his arm towards the dance floor. A fast song was playing, and Remus wasn’t sure if he’d ever heard it before, but it didn’t matter. He was only watching Sirius. It could have been any song and nothing else would have mattered. Sirius was right in front of him, moving his body in a way that Remus had only ever dreamt about seeing from him. He must’ve felt Remus’s eyes on him because he looked up at him, blushing but small smirk on his lips. Like he knew exactly what he was doing to Remus.
“You’re dancing, Rem.” Sirius yelled over the music. “We thought you’d just be that hot brooding guy in the corner all night.” Remus perked up at Sirius calling him hot, and Sirius must’ve realized what he said, because his cheeks turned even rosier.
“You think I’m hot?” Remus asked, this was dangerous.
“I… oh, whatever, Remus! You… you know you’re hot.” Sirius was embarrassed, but he didn’t seem mad at all. More…
Flirty.
Like he wanted Remus to tease him more.
“I do, do I? Hm. Well, that being said I think you know exactly what you’re doing out here.” Sirius got a very fake innocent, pouty look on his face.
“What ever do you mean?” Remus was fighting all his instincts that were telling him to jump him right then and there.
He’s your friend. He works for you! He takes care of your children… you… you live with this man! You can’t do this.
You can’t do this…
“You’re…” Remus practically growled. “It’s too fucking loud in here.” Sirius smirked again, clearly pleased he was having some sort of effect on Remus.
“Should we… go somewhere quieter?” NO.
No this is such a bad idea.
No.
“Yes.” He didn’t even realize he said anything until he was leading Sirius off the dance floor. They went on the back patio; the music was muffled by the door closing. No one else was out there and Remus thought that was a waste, it was a nice place. Quiet, perfect for a smoke break. Or to kiss the shit out of someone…
No.
“Better?” Sirius asked, plopping down in a chair. Remus smiled and nodded. Suddenly, everything didn’t feel quite as much as it did inside. Maybe he had been overstimulated. It didn’t change how good Sirius looked or much Remus wanted to…
“Much.” He sat down across from Sirius. “You’re… you’re something else.” He said, trying to sound like he wasn’t consuming some very dirty thoughts in Remus’s head right now. Sirius smiled, light smirk tugging on his lips.
“Is that a bad thing?” The two locked eyes and for a few moments (minutes, hours, years, it seemed like a lifetime) they said nothing else.
“It’s… dangerous.” Sirius chuckled.
“I like danger.”
We’re both drunk.
It would be a mistake.
Would we be able to be friends any more?
“You would.” Sirius laughed again, seemingly more emboldened now that he saw the effect he so clearly had on Remus.
“Remus…” It sounded almost pleadingly, like he was begging for something that only Remus could help with.
“God why do you have to say my name like that?” Remus stood up and Sirius followed, they were moving towards each other like there were magnets pulling them together. They were so close that all Remus had to do was lean down, all Sirius had to do with push up and their lips would be touching.
“Sirius… I…”
“There you two are!” The moment was cut so abruptly that the two men practically jumped apart. “Lily is so drunk; I need to get her home. And considering how you two have been slinging drinks I’m assuming I’m your DD too.”
Remus and Sirius followed, silently. Neither of them had spoken since they were interrupted.
We didn’t kiss.
It’s fine. Everything will be normal in the morning.
We were both so drunk.
We’ll… blame it on the alcohol.
But could he really blame it on the alcohol when he’d been crushing on Sirius since the day he first met him, sober as day?
James dropped them off and they both made it to the front door. Sirius was grabbing for his keys, the two had still not said a word. It was maddening.
Sirius was putting his key in the door and Remus grabbed his arm.
“Sirius.” He said, not sure what he was even planning on saying.
“Rem?” Sirius sounded… fragile… hopeful? Remus couldn’t really tell. But the one thing he knew is that he never wanted to hurt him. He didn’t… Remus didn’t want him to think that he didn’t want to kiss him.
“I… you’re amazing.” He had no idea why it sounded like a breakup… Sirius smiled, a sort of sad, understanding smile.
“Remus, it’s Ok.” He said. What’s Ok? Nothing makes sense!
“It’s not… I…”
“It is. I’m your kids’ nanny for Christ’s sake! I… I get it. You… well, you’re not as attracted to me as… well, as I am to you. And I… I’m probably only even a little attractive to you because I take care of your children… and god I am so drunk, I am so embarrassing.” He turned quickly, trying to open the door again. Remus grabbed his arm again.
“Sirius!” He practically yelled it. “I… you’ve got it so wrong.” Sirius looked so vulnerable and so… scared? Remus couldn’t let him think that. “I am too attracted to you. It’s… it’s sick how attracted to you I am… You’re… you’re so…but it’s me. I’m just… with everything. But it’s not because I’m not attracted to you.” They were so close again… one more step forward and…
The front door swung open.
“I thought I heard someone out here!” Lykos was now standing in front of them, grinning like the cat who got the canary. “Oh… sorry.” Remus chuckled despite himself.
“How were the kids?” He asked, he put a protective hand at the small of Sirius’s back and led him inside, locking the front door behind them.
“Perfect as usual. Did… did y’all have fun?” She had the most annoying smirk on her face.
“Not as much as we could’ve.” Remus said under his breath. “It was great, Lily got drunk as shit. Sirius and I had a few too many so James drove us home. We’ll have to get my car tomorrow.”
“A few too many huh? That can be dangerous.” She said. Both Sirius and Remus chuckled at that, the intenseness of the moment before, fading away. Maybe they both would just forget about it in the morning…
“Wanna spend the night? It’s late, I have the spare room.” Ly smiled but shook her head no.
“Gotta get home to Matthew. He misses me when I’m gone, you know? Husband things.” Remus chuckled and nodded.
“Thanks for babysitting. The kids love and miss you. Come over more.” Lykos looked like she wanted to say something and then she smiled and kissed Remus on the cheek.
“I love you, big brother. I promise to come over more.” Remus smiled, pleased at that and watched her to her car to make sure she got in. He turned the porch light off and went into the living room, where Sirius was sitting on the couch.
“We keep getting interrupted tonight.” Remus said, apologetically. Sirius smiled and nodded.
“Probably for the best. Don’t wanna… do something stupid that we’ll regret, right?” Ouch.
That was a punch in the gut.
“Uh… yeah. We’re friends. Right?” Sirius gave him a look that Remus couldn’t make out and then gave a sort of forced smile.
“‘Course. Wanna watch a movie?” Remus smiled, as disappointed as he was with Sirius’s revelation of ‘doing something stupid they’d regret,’ he was glad they were still friends.
“Sure. You pick.”
Remus wasn’t sure how long he was asleep, but he only woke up to a little body jumping up on top of him.
“Oof!” Tate’s bright and smiling face was the first thing Remus saw. “Morning, Tater tot.” Remus said, willing his head to stop pounding. All at once, he remembered why he didn’t drink so much.
“Daddy… you smell funny.” Remus took a minute to smell himself and she was completely correct. He smelt horrible.
“I…didn’t get to bed until late last night.” Tate looked at him like she knew something he didn’t.
“Daddy?”
“Yes angel?”
“You said you and Sirius weren’t married or husbands, right?” Remus practically choked on his spit. He looked over to make sure Sirius was still asleep, thank god he was.
“Uh, honey, we already talked about this.” Tate rolled her eyes like she was the one who was exasperated.
“Daddy, I’m 4. I know things. Like, I know what dates are. Auntie Ly told me all about them.” Remus groaned.
“Oh, did she now?” Tate nodded, as if she knew everything. And Remus wouldn’t be surprised if she truly did know everything. She was Dora through and through… and in that moment Remus’s heart ached. He missed Dora. And every so often that feeling knocked him over like a freight train. That… that grief.
What was it that someone once said… what is grief if not love persevering?
“She did! She said a date is when two people who like each other hang out on their own. And then they like do stuff together.” Remus smiled; he couldn’t help it. His girl is just too cute.
“Well, that’s very true. But what makes you think that I was on a date with Sirius?”
“Well, you told me you like him—”
“As a friend—”
“And you went out with him last night. That’s why Auntie Ly babysat us!”
“So, you’ve got it all figured out then?” Remus asked. Tate nodded triumphantly.
“Yes!” Remus chuckled and set her down, off his lap, kneeling to the ground to get on her eye level.
“Honey, Sirius and I were not on a date. You know Lily, Harry’s mommy? It was her birthday, and that’s Sirius’s family. So, we both went. That doesn’t mean we went on a date.” Tate looked sad. And she let out a big sigh.
“Fine.” Remus chuckled and scooped her up, kissing her cheek multiple times as she giggled.
“Let’s get you some breakfast.” He said, carrying her into the kitchen and then plopping her into her seat at the table.
“Ok. And then maybe you should take a shower, daddy.” Remus laughed, shaking his head with a smile. As usual, Teddy didn’t wake up for a while later. Since it was the weekend, Remus let him sleep as late as he wanted. He figured it didn’t really matter much; he probably didn’t go to bed till late. After a while, Remus and Tate had been up for a bit eating and talking, they heard and then saw Sirius walk into the kitchen.
“Sirius!” Tate said, shoveling the final bites of her eggs into her mouth. “You… look worse than daddy did when he woke up.” Remus chuckled and Sirius… well, Remus thought Sirius always looked pretty, however he did look a bit tired.
“Not feeling too great this morning, Tater tot.” Sirius said, plopping in his seat at the table… his seat… Remus really was doomed. Everything with Sirius felt so… domesticated. Just what Lykos was making fun of him for. “How ‘bout you take a shower? You’ve clearly been up for a while with Ms. Tater” Sirius said, and the way Sirius looked at him, in that moment, he knew that Sirius remembered everything about last night, just like he did… How close they were to kissing, multiple times… how… how
Intoxicating last night was…
It was useless. There was no point in trying to convince himself he didn’t like Sirius that way… he had from the moment he met him. He was totally fucked, because obviously Sirius just wanted to be friends.
Don’t wanna… do something stupid that we’ll regret, right?
But then… Sirius’s other words from last night were playing on repeat in his head.
I’m your kids’ nanny for Christ’s sake! I… I get it. You… well, you’re not as attracted to me as… well, as I am to you.
So obviously, Sirius was, at the very least, attracted to Remus.
“Remus?” Sirius broke him out of his thoughts.
“Um. Yes, well, what about you?” Remus asked.
“What about me?”
“Well, no offense baby, but you seem like you might need a shower too.” It just slipped out… the pet name. He hadn’t meant to say it, obviously. It just… it felt natural, to call Sirius that. Sirius’s face was bright red, and Remus glanced at Tate who seemed much too pleased.
“I… we’ll tag team.” Sirius said, not meeting Remus’s eye. “Then we’ll go get your car and maybe… I don’t know.”
“We could go to the park!” Tate added. Remus and Sirius both chuckled at that.
“Ok… are you sure?” Asked Remus. “It’s… well, it’s your off day.” Sirius rolled his eyes with a smile.
“When will you stop with that? I love spending time with all of you.” Remus smiled and nodded, taking one last sip of his coffee before heading upstairs to take a shower.
When they had both showered, and gotten the kids showered and ready, they got into Sirius’s car. Remus couldn’t help but feel…. Weird.
He just wasn’t used to this constant help since… well since Dora died. He no longer felt like a single parent, he felt like… it all just felt…
Like Remus needed to get a reality check soon, that’s all.
***
“You’re telling me that you are against a child free night, a date night? When was the last time you and James… you know…” Lily smacked him, hard.
“Ow!” Lily hit him again.
“That’s what you get! James and I… you know pretty regularly, thank you very much. It’s just… it’s hard to find time to actually go out and do something. Like you’re one to talk! You are never without Tate and Teddy unless you’re at work.” Remus rolled his eyes.
“Ok, but we’re not talking about me and how I’m afraid to leave my children. We’re talking about you and James and how you need a night out. Just send Harry to mine, I have two 4-year-olds running amok anyways, adding one more to the mix won’t change anything!” Lily laughed.
“That’s fair. I… we would love to go on a date, Rem. Thanks. I am serious too though. You deserve a night out without the kids. When was the last time you did that, besides my birthday?” Remus let his thoughts drift back to the night of Lily’s birthday… how he and Sirius had almost kissed twice and had been interrupted both times… Even though that night was about a month ago, he couldn’t help but remember every single detail.
“Uh… I don’t go out. Like when would I actually have time? And this is not me being a hypocrite!” Remus said quickly when he saw Lily about to cut him off. “You and James are in a relationship and need to find that alone time. I am a single father who has no time to actually date someone so it’s pointless.”
“First, it’s not pointless. Even just going on a date can be fun and exciting. And also, I never said that going out meant going on dates. You just never go out. Period.” Remus shrugged, that was fair enough.
“I don’t like going out. It’s loud, people are obnoxious. And getting drunk? Well, I hate that feeling too. Learned that the hard way on your birthday.” Lily chuckled.
“You and me both.” She said with a smile. “What happened on my birthday?” Remus was not prone to blushing, even if he was embarrassed. Because Dora constantly teased him, pretty much their entire lives, he just grew a strength of not blushing easily. But even the thought of Sirius was bringing a light pink dusting on his cheeks… how annoying.
“I… nothing. I just drank way too much and then had to deal with 2 children the next morning. Don’t know how people do that on the regular.” Lily chuckled, but it seemed like she knew Remus was hiding something.
Here’s the thing. Lily’s one of his best friends, maybe even his best friend not including Lykos. But he knew exactly what she’d say about the Sirius situation. That he should go for it, that Sirius was a great guy, they’d be good together, etc. Remus didn’t need to hear that. He needed someone to smack him continuously until all thoughts of Sirius (dirty thoughts at least) were out of his mind forever.
“Well, luckily James took the ropes with Harry that day.”
“James is a good one.”
“That he is.”
“Lil…”
“Yeah?”
“With James… how did… well, how did you know that… I mean… you said you were friends first, right?” Lily looked at him sympathetically and nodded.
“How did you… like, wasn’t it scary? How did you both decide to go for it?”
“We just… took the leap. It was scary, and we were kids, so everything was heightened, you know? Like all of our emotions were 10 times more intense than an adult’s… but… we just realized that how we felt about each other was worth it. It took him asking me about 100 times though… I used to be a bit stubborn…”
“Used to be, huh?”
“You watch it Lupin.” He rolled his eyes with a smile and sighed. Lily grabbed his hand from across the table. “Rem… sometimes you just gotta take the leap.”
“But… what if everything crashes and burns?” Remus asked, he knew his voice sounded desperate. Lily shrugged and then spoke quietly.
“What if it doesn’t?”
***
“It feels so weird not having the kids around.” Remus said, putting out a chip bowl next to Sirius’s homemade guacamole. Sirius nodded.
“The house is quiet without Tate’s questioning and Teddy’s loud singing.” Remus chuckled; Sirius knew his kids so well that it made his heart clench.
“Hello?” Lykos’s voice carried all the way to the kitchen as she let herself in.
“LyLy!” Sirius called and hugged her tightly as she set her bag down on the table. She said, “Siri!”
“You two being friends is scary…” Remus said, while the two laughed. “Matthew, how ya doing?” Remus asked. Matthew was so kind; he was just very shy before you got to know him.
“Doing Ok, just working and more working that’s about it.” Remus nodded. Matthew was some sort of tech person; he wasn’t quite sure exactly what he did and at this point he was much too embarrassed to ask.
Remus really couldn’t believe that it was already New Year’s Eve, so much had changed this year, and it all felt like… well, how could all of that have happened in just one year. By the time the last of the guests had arrived it was about 8:30. Truthfully, Remus was usually already in his pajamas, drinking wine and watching a movie with Sirius at 8:30, but it was really nice to be surrounded by all their friends. His house felt so full, and he knew there were so many people who cared about him and his kids, and it was so special. For the longest time, especially after Dora died, Remus truly wondered if he would ever have that again.
“What are you so lost in thought about over here?” Ly asked, coming up behind him. He smiled at her and shurgged.
“How happy I am to have a full house… full of people who I love and who love and care about me and my family.” She pushed his shoulder lightly.
“You sop.” She said with a smile, he shrugged again. It was true, these days he was turning into a sop. Lykos was drinking orange juice, which was not like her to do especially on New Years.
“What the fuck, are you drinking juice?” She took a sip and nodded. “Why are you drinking juice on New Year’s Eve?”
“Because I’m pregnant.” She said, as if it wasn’t a huge deal.
“You’re— what!?” She giggled and shushed him. “Lykos! Oh my god, how long have you known? How far along are you?”
“Almost 3 months.” She said. “I actually found out last month when I was babysitting for you, I found out that morning. I hadn’t even told Matthew yet, but I wanted to tell you so bad. But yes. That’s why I’m drinking juice.” Remus wanted to cry because he was so happy for her. She and Matthew had been trying for years, with no luck.
“This is amazing. Tate and Teds are going to have a little cousin, wow. I am so fucking happy for you.” He hugged her, she was laughing, and everything seemed so perfect. He pulled away and caught sight of Sirius talking with one of his friends, Marlene. He was eyeing the two of them suspiciously. Remus mouthed, I’ll tell you later. Sirius smiled and went back to his conversation. He looked so handsome, he was wearing black flow-y pants and a sparkly pink shirt, perfect for New Year’s Eve, and he just… Remus’s breath was taken away when he first saw him today. (As it is pretty much every morning when he sees him.)
“Well, that’s a whole other issue.” Lykos said, taking another drink of her juice. Remus looked at her funny.
“What do you mean?”
“Your feelings for Sirius that you won’t do a thing about.” Remus sighed.
“I’m… it’s tricky.” Lykos rolled her eyes.
“It’s really not. You like him, he likes you. Those are not problems. You make it seem like they are.”
“I just don’t wanna ruin a good thing.”
“But what if you made it better?”
“God, you and Lily both. I just… I wanna be delicate with it. He’s… He’s important.” Lykos smiled and nodded.
“I knew I liked Lily. And I understand what you’re saying. But while you’re worried about how delicate you’re being someone else is gonna come around and be not so delicate and steal him away in the night.” Remus chuckled.
“I… you really think he likes me? Actually? It’s… I know he’s attracted to me, but do you think he would…”
“Remus, we’re adults and we’re having such a 7th grade conversation but, yes. The man likes you—loves you probably. It’s painfully obvious.”
“I’ll… be right back.” Remus said, walking away and right up to Sirius and Marlene. “Hey.” He said, right by Sirius, he could smell his cologne.
“Rem.” Sirius said with a soft smile.
“Hey, Remus.” Marlene said cheerfully.
“Marlene, do you care if I steal Sirius? I… need to ask him something.” Marlene gave a look to Sirius, and she just nodded and walked over to her wife, Dorcas.
“You Ok?” Asked Sirius, he seemed concerned.
“No, yeah, yes. Everything’s fine, I just… I need to talk to you about something. Can we go upstairs?” Sirius nodded and still looked a bit worried, but Remus grabbed his hand and led him upstairs to Remus’s room, closing the door behind them.
“Rem, you’re making me nervous is everything Ok?” Remus took a deep breath. What was it that Lily had said? Sometimes you just gotta take the leap
“I’m… I love you.” He said. He didn’t plan to say it quite so carelessly and was going to work up to saying I love you, but that’s how he felt… he couldn’t downplay it if he tried. “I do, god, you’re so… you’re unbelievable. You are so full of life and heart, and you love my kids so effortlessly, like it’s— it’s so easy to you or something and you’re good. You’re so good, you make me want to be a better person and like, I don’t even know how you do it. I’ve been wanting to say something for months, since I’ve known you basically… but we became friends and you’re so important to me and to my kids so if I’m overstepping here, please just tell me to shut up. But I just needed you to—” Sirius kissed him and then pulled away quickly. He looked like he was going to cry.
“Are… Sirius, are you Ok?”
“Well, the man I love just told me he loves me and gave a whole speech about it… I would say I’m better than Ok.”
“The… man you love?” Asked Remus, hopefully. Sirius was smiling and Remus was smiling and… how could he not be?
“I love you too, Remus. I… I never wanted to say anything, I mean, you’re my boss! After that night at Lily’s birthday, I was just… I didn’t know where exactly we stood and I…I just… All I knew is that I felt a connection with you the moment we met at Harry’s birthday party and since then I just… I mean I was so attracted to you when we first met, it was embarrassing. James was teasing me endlessly for it… I came to love you so easily it was… it just felt like it was what I was supposed to do.”
“Like breathing…” Remus offered. “That’s how I feel. Baby, loving you is like breathing or like… existing. God, you’re making me cheesy. I’ve never…” Remus chuckled. “I’ve never felt this way before.” Sirius grabbed both of Remus’s hands and pulled him in for a kiss again. Remus took Sirius in his arms, and the kiss turned from something sweet, to another thing entirely. Remus was walking with the kiss and pushed Sirius down onto his bed.
“What time is it?” Asked Sirius, voice breathy, Remus smiled, loving that he was the one making Sirius so breathless.
“Half past who the fuck cares.” Remus said, lifting up Sirius’s glittering shirt. Sirius helped him with the arms and discarded it on the floor, shimmying out of his pants. He was wearing pink boxers to match his pink shirt, and it was so Sirius that Remus got emotional… such a stupid thing to feel emotional about, but it quickly faded as Remus tore off the boxers and then a perfect naked Sirius was sitting on his bed, what he had wanted for months.
“Your turn.” Sirius said, smirking. Remus happily began taking off his shirt, as Sirius worked on the buttons of his jeans. “Your ass looked so good in these all night.” Remus smiled. He kicked his jeans off and then slid his boxers down. Sometimes, standing naked in front of someone could be pretty nerve-wracking, but when it’s someone you love, someone you trust… it feels good, normal—exciting.
“Holy fuck, Remus.” Sirius said, Remus smirked at him.
“See something you like, baby?” He said, teasingly, pushing Sirius down further on the bed, kissing all along his body, his abs, his neck, his hips, everywhere. Sirius was writhing under him.
“Fuck, Remus. This is… this is everything I’ve wanted for months.” Remus nodded, kissing Sirius’s neck, and leaving a not-so-subtle hickey there.
“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” Remus said. He wanted to make sure Sirius knew, he was fine with a bit of kissing, making out, whatever he wanted… he didn’t want to push Sirius too soon.
“Remus?”
“Yes?”
“Just fuck me already.”
Remus happily obliged.
“5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!”
The party was swirling around them, everyone finding someone to kiss, and Remus looked to Sirius, cheeks pink, hair tousled, and as he was leaning in to kiss him, Remus thought there was nothing that could be better than this.
***
14 years later…
“Dads, have you not taken enough pictures?” Teddy asked, hiding his face in his date’s shoulder. He had been dating this boy for about 3 months now and every time anyone asked about him Teddy’s face would turn the brightest red known to man. Tate and Harry were posed together, they were going to the prom, just as friends, oh my god they don’t like each other! There was a bet among the parents, but they would never tell them this. (Not until they’re much older, anyway.)
“No, we do not have enough pictures of you and your boyfriend, Theodore.” Sirius said, snapping another one. Teddy groaned and his boyfriend, A.J. laughed and kissed his cheek. They had contrasting navy blue and black suits but accents that matched the other’s.
“You guys are so cute!” Lily said, snapping pictures of Harry and Tate.
“Mom, this is embarrassing.” Harry said, cheeks pink. Tate wore a red dress, long and flowing and one that made her look much too grown up. Harry’s tie matched her dress, and he got her a boutonniere with a red rose.
“We have to go soon.” Tate said, turning to Harry and fixing his collar. Harry stirred nervously at her touch and Remus smiled and then looked at Sirius, remembering when the two of them were so young and nervous around each other.
“Dad, Papa! I wanna go with them!” Aliyah was wearing her own version a prom dress to try and fit in with her older siblings. Sirius leaned down to get on her eye level and smiled at her.
“Oh, we know you do, love.” He said, voice calm and reminding Remus of Harry’s 4th birthday party. “But this is something you do when you’re much older, you’re only 9, and Ephie can’t go either, you two can play together tonight. Now you can just be excited for them.” Aliyah sighed. Ephie, James and Lily’s daughter, looked sad about not going to prom too. She’s 10, just a year older than Aliyah and her best friend in the world.
“That’ll be forever till I’m their age!” Sirius stood up and looked at Remus, eyes twinkling. In that moment he looked like the young man he met so many years ago, same smile, same eyes… Remus was so in love with him.
“It goes by so fast.” Remus said to her. “Blink of an eye and then you’ll be off to prom.” Harry, Tate, Teddy and A.J. were grabbing their things to head to dinner before prom. Tate stopped and turned to Remus.
“Daddy?” Remus blinked and suddenly she was a child again, rambling about anything and everything, questioning his every move. He felt like he could cry.
“Yeah love?” He asked.
“How do you…” She looked behind her to make sure Harry and the others weren’t close enough to hear her. “How do you know if you like someone as a friend or as more than a friend? And what do you do when you realize you like a friend, but you’re scared to… ruin everything.” Remus smiled and looked over to Sirius again. He was talking and laughing with James and Lily, Aliyah and Ephie standing beside him.
“Sometimes, especially if the person is really important to you, you just… have to take the leap.” Tate smiled and nodded.
“Yeah… I guess that makes sense. I love you.” She hugged him and ran out the door with her friends.
“There goes our babies.” James said, dramatically sighing.
“Dad, aren’t I your baby? Harry is older than me.” Ephie asked, they laughed, and James nodded, kissing her on the top of her head.
“So, what movie are we watching. Is it your turn, Rem?” Sirius asked him, leading everyone over to the living room. Remus followed him. And he was sure that he’d follow Sirius anywhere for the rest of his life.
THE END