London, Baby!
October 29, 1978
The first thing Lily notices about London is how wet it is. From the second she stepped off her flight an hour and a half ago, it has been pouring. She watches as drops cascade down the glass doors of Heathrow airport.
At her feet is her trunk, well worn and covered in peeling stickers. She had gotten it for Christmas a few years ago, and had taken it every time she traveled. She tended to disappear for a weekend, off on a camping trip by herself.
It was a way to escape for a while and take a breath. She felt it was easier to breathe the further she was from her hometown. Now she was 4,000 miles away from home, and she felt lighter than she ever has.
Getting here was not an easy feat, even excluding the lengthy legal process to obtain citizenship. It was worth it though, she can already tell. So, with a newfound pep in her step, she grabs her suitcase and heads toward the doors leading out to airport pickup.
Immediately she gets hit with noise. Cars in the pickup lane honking and people yelling at payphones. She loves it. That is, until someone bumps into her and doesn't bother to say sorry. Noise she can deal with. People though? Absolutely not.
Shuddering, she gets on her tip-toes and cranes her neck, trying to find the bus stop. Another person bumps into her. Eventually she spots a green pergola with glass walls, a bus printed on the side of it.
She grabs her trunk and is on her merry way, pushing past people with a slough of excuse me’s. Quickly she grabs a seat on the bench, leaning her head against the glass and closing her eyes, exhausted from her early flight.
Lily couldn't sleep a wink on the plane, she was too busy clutching the armrest and praying for the metal bird not to go down over the Atlantic. Landing was the worst of it, she was convinced they would crash the second they hit the tarmac.
Someone sits down on the bench next to her. She turns to smile at them, but instead of smiling back, the man glares at her and she turns away. People aren't as nice here. Cars splash in puddles as they pull away from the pickup lane.
Lily’s eyes wander over to a car where a woman has exited, flipping off the driver as he tore out of the drive. She is taken aback by the gesture, to do something like that in the middle of a busy airport was shameful.
She shook her head. That was Momma talkin’. She thinks. She shouldn't be so quick to judge people.
She spots a young girl jump into the arms of an older man that looks to be her father. Lily’s heart gives a little pang, and she turns away, her eyes stinging. She takes a deep breath in. She made the right decision by coming here.
Many more people come huddle under the bus stop and Lily gives up her seat to an older woman who flashes her an appreciative look. To avoid making eye contact with anyone, she takes a sudden interest in her beat-up Mary Janes.
She might as well make good use of her time waiting, so she pulls out her notepad and pen. Not pencil. She hates pencils. However, no ideas come to her head. Lily returns it to her trunk.
Finally, the bus pulls up, and people hurry on. It reeks of cigarettes and body odor and Lily wonders how often they bother to clean.
She spots an open aisle seat and immediately understands why it's empty. The guy is tall, for one, but he also has scars across most of his exposed skin, including his face. Uncharacteristically, he has a book propped in his lap and is wearing a brown sweater that looks like it belongs to somebody's grandpa.
Lily sits next to him and gives him a smile. If there was one good thing about growing up in the church, it was that she was well-mannered.
The bus starts to move and she leans down to grab her map from the front pouch of her trunk, attempting to locate the hotel she had found in her London guidebook.
She had kept her plans to move a secret for a long time, so she couldn't exactly buy anything to prepare her. So she spent many days at the back table of the local library with a very outdated London guidebook. She wasn't even sure her hotel was still there.
She couldn't just not plan though. No, she had this move very meticulously, that's how she worked.
In her fits of research, she forgot to account for the fact that London might have changed since 1946. So when she received her map at customs, nothing was the same. She felt stupid. How could she not take this into consideration? Why was she always like this?
“Need help?” The tall man asks. He didn't sound like he was from around her, at least based on the few people Lily had spoken to already. No, he brought out his vowels when he spoke. Whatever it was, it was hard to understand. Though, Lily was no better, unable to get rid of her southern drawl. Lily looked up to meet his eyes, they reminded her of honey.
“No, thank you.” She replies, returning back to her map. Who does he think he is? She's not an idiot. She can figure it out for herself.
However she quickly realizes she has no idea where to start. Maps back home were always so easy. No strange streets or alleyways or intersections. She cursed her highschool for not having a geography class.
Swallowing her pride, Lily shifts the map over onto his lap. The man chuckles.
“What are you looking for?” He asked. Lily noted he was kinder than he looked.
“My hotel. The Leaky Cauldron.” She replies.
“You in luck, my friend works there.” He says, circling somewhere on the map. “Bus gets off here.” He continues, circling another point.
“Thanks. I really appreciate it.” Lily replies. The conversation goes silent, and Lily puts the map back in her trunk. She sees the guy look back over at her. He’s actually pretty handsome,though definitely not her type.
She had never actually dated anyone, and only one person ever took interest. However Lily only ever saw him as a brother. That is, until Junior year and he became a complete dickhead to her. She wondered how Sev was doing these days.
She got to thinking, and the gentle rocking of the bus began to lull her to sleep.
~~~
June 13, 1969
“Lily!” Tuny calls from the creek, “Get in the water, you're gonna die of heat stroke if you stay up there.”
“No I aint!” Lily yells back.
Lily sits on the bank of the creek, staring at the treeline on the opposite side.
Petunia is in the knee-deep water hunting for crawdads, her dark brown hair tied back into two pretty braids.
The hot Missouri sun is beating down, the humidity almost suffocating. Lily and Petunia are at their meemaw and peepaw’s farm, where they stay for most of the summer.
“Aint ain't a word Lily.” Tuny calls back. Lily sticks a tongue out at that.
“Then why’d you say it?” Lily asks mockingly.
“I was makin’ an example!” Tuny shouts. “Duh.”
“Meemaw says God don't like no fibbers!” Lily yells, trying to rile up her sister, “And that sounded a lot like a fib to me.”
“I ain’t a fibber!” Petunia cries, trudging up the bank towards Lily. She shrieks and scrambles up towards the pickup, but is caught around the ankle.
Petunia drags Lily into the water, taking her down with her. When Lily resurfaces, she is giggling and coughing. They both sit in the water laughing.
“Ya’ll bout’ ready to go?” Meemaw calls from the driver's seat of the truck. “It’s hotter than blazes and I still need to fix supper.”
So they clamber out of the water and climb into the bed of the truck. Petunia hits the side of the blue pickup and they take off.
~~~
Later that evening after supper, they are all on the front porch of the old farmhouse, each with a glass of ice tea.
“Meemaw, how long you reckon it’ll be until Momma comes ‘round?” Lily asks from the porch swing. Meemaw doesn't say anything for a while.
“I dont know Lily, with the way that girl is you never know when she’ll turn up. No point in pitchin’ a hissy fit over it.” Meemaw says, “Besides, who would keep your Peepaw in line if you weren't here?”
Lily giggles when Peepaw turns to her and narrows his eyes.
“She’s the ornery one.”
They settle into a comfortable silence, watching the sun go down over the pasture.
Although Lily hated Missouri, Meemaw and Peepaw’s house always brought a comfort to her that she couldn't explain. What she would give to go back and sit on that porch one more time.
~~~
“Hey Red, this is your stop.” The guy mutters, shaking her awake. “Come on.”
They had pulled off to the side of a busy street. There were red brick buildings lining the road and some banners had been strung between a few of them. They must have been up there for a while, because they were faded and tattered.
Lily grabbed her trunk and hurried off the bus onto the sidewalk. She pulled out her map again, silently kicking herself for falling asleep on the bus. It would have been bad if the map-guy didn't wake her up.
She stared down at the map trying to get an idea of which way to turn. Was that the right way? She asked herself, glancing at a strangely shaped corner building. She felt dumb. How did she expect herself to live here and find a job if she couldn't even figure out a map? Lily felt like crying. She was still shaken by her dream.
Map-guy noticed her distress and walked over. She really didn't want him to help her anymore. He probably thought she was helpless.
“You're not, you know.” He said, seemingly reading her mind.
“What?”
“You got here all on your own. I mean, you clearly aren't from here. Give yourself a break.” He continued.
“I wasn't thinking that.” Lily lies.
“Whatever Red.” She finds it a little strange he was calling her a nickname. She’s barely known him for an hour. “You want my help or not?” He asks. Lily nodded her head.
“Let's go then.”
So off they went through the streets of central London. Too busy gaping at the things around her, Lily didn't notice that the guy kept stealing glances at her.
“You don't say a lot, do you?” Map-guy asks.
“You ask a lot of questions.” She concludes. He huffs a laugh.
Lily had never been a sociable person, even back at school. She tried, she truly did, but it seemed like everyone around her either thought she was weird or too much of a goody-two shoes. She did have a few friends in her grade, but they had moved on with their lives and often Lily felt it was too painful to think about.
That was how she treated most things. Pushing them back in her head, out of sight, out of mind.
“What are you doing in London?” Man does this guy not know how to mind his own business?
“Again with the questions.” She chuckles. “Why are you helping me?”
“I'm bored, mostly.”
“Wow, I almost mistook you for a kind stranger.” She says.
“Glad we got that cleared up. I cant have people thinking i've gone soft.” Map-guy remarks, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
“Wouldn't dream of it, Mr. Grouch.” She quips.
“Grouch, eh?”
“Don't think I dont notice that little scour of yours.”
“It's my resting face.” He huffs.
“Rest with a kinder face.” Lily says. She jumps over a puddle. He gives her a strange look.
“You sound like James.” Map-guy groans, rolling his eyes.
“Well James sounds like an intelligent man.”
“I’d better not tell him that, it will go to his head. His ego is far too big already.” The conversation goes silent from there, and Lily can't seem to wipe off the smile that lingers on her face.
They turn yet another corner and Map-guy pulls out a cigarette, lighting it.
“Those things will kill you, you know.” He simply shrugs. Lily’s dad smoked when he was still alive. Although Momma never let him do it in the house. She couldn't stand the smell.
“You never answered my question.” He says, blowing out a puff of smoke. Lily coughs and waves her hand in front of her face.
“What question?”
“What are you doing in London?” He asks. Lily doesn't say anything for a second. Because if she’s honest, she doesn't really know. Obviously her grief has not magically disappeared after leaving Missouri. Though it was easier to breathe. He's going to think she’s stupid for saying this.
“I don't know.” However instead of judging her, he smiles.
“That's the best reason to come.”
She tilts her head up to look at him. “Really?”
He lets out another puff of smoke. “No.” Lily guesses she should be annoyed at that, but instead she starts laughing.
Map-guy laughs with her. They receive a few strange looks from passerbuys, but Lily doesn't care. It's been so long since she has laughed like this, she just lets it loose.
Eventually the fit slows, and Lily admits to moving here. Map-guy asks why London. She cant give him a straight answer. She doesn't know why. Maybe it was because she found the guidebook. Or maybe it was because of the music. She truly did not know.
After a decent amount of walking, they had finally stopped outside The Leaky Cauldron.
“Here we are.” He told her. “Isn't it beautiful?” Lily takes a look at it.
Well it is a building. With a roof. So Lily should be grateful. Though the broken window on the top floor and the whole dark atmosphere of it definitely makes her want to turn on her heels and run in the opposite direction.
“Welp! Don't want to stand out here forever, let's get you a room.” He says, pushing her through the purple doors.
The interior of The Leaky was much like she expected. A fire roared at the back wall, several people stood around it, speaking in hushed voices. The walls were a dark gray and the curtains that covered the few windows look ancient. Several sofas were set in front of the fire, though nobody sat in them.
“Let's get you checked in Red.” Map-guy declared. Lily followed him over to the reception desk where a man with messy brown hair was busy flipping through guest books. “Hiya Pete!” He exclaims.
“Remus! What are you doing here?” Pete asks. “I thought you and Sirius were off visiting Effie and Monty.”
“We were, but then the whiskey came out, and you know how James and Sirius can get.” Says Map-guy. Or, well, Remus she supposes. Pete shudders. “So I took the bus back, and I met- What's your name?” Remus questions.
“Lily.”
“I met Lily here, and she mentioned needing a room here.” He finishes.
“Hi Lily, nice to meet you.” He reaches out a hand and Lily shakes it. “I'm Peter.” Lily smiles at him. She books a room for a couple nights and Peter goes over some of their rules. It was standard stuff, though he did mention not bringing owls in without proper paperwork. She wonders how that became a thing.
Lily thanks Peter and Remus and begins hauling her things across the lobby towards the elevator.
“Enjoy your stay!” Peter shouts before turning back to talk to Remus.
~~~
Lily finally makes it to her room and sits on the edge of the bed. She's tired and the whole experience of getting here has her frazzled.
She attempts to calm herself by unpacking her things, not wanting to have a messy room for even a second. It doesn't help. She feels like lava is creeping up her throat and it makes it hard to breathe.
The room is too quiet. Everything goes wrong when it's too quiet. Suddenly she's back at home, staring at the blue and white striped wallpaper in the kitchen after the call. Then she's at the funeral, watching as they lower a casket with her sister's name on it into the ground.
Lily runs to the bathroom and throws up. She falls back against the tub and catches her head in her hands. It's fine. It would have been this way at home. You made the right choice coming here.
She takes deep breaths and manages to calm down. Though when she splashes her face with water and looks in the mirror, all she sees is Petunia’s unblinking ones. Staring at nothing in particular.
What has she done?