Lane leaned back on the couch and heaved a sigh that quickly turned into a loud, pleased moan once her back cracked. Anna, who was barely entering the lounge, stopped mid-step, blushing at the sound that came from the green-honeyed-eyed woman. She immediately turned on her heel and prepared to walk out.
“What are you looking for?” Lane glanced over at the scattered scientist.
Anna, caught, froze as if she were a deer in headlights. She coughed, whispering, “I—I thought you’d… want privacy.”
Anna, still turned away, only heard Lane's chuckle. She turned her gaze to the cryptographer.
“Whatever you're thinking is wrong. My back cracked, and it felt nice. Had a long night.” She rubbed her eyes, holding back a yawn.
Lane turned her body completely, laying her head on her crossed arms. Anna looked back, lips pursed. Lane's voice was very monotone… or well, more monotone than it had been in a while, especially with her.
Staying silent for a moment, Anna glanced around the hotel's lounge as if searching for inspiration for a conversation. She bit her lip, looking down while twining her fingers.
“I can hear you thinking,” the cryptographer's snap made Anna blink. Her eyes flashed to Lane, who was looking back at her sternly.
“...Sorry.” Anna whispered, looking away in embarrassment. “I was just thinking about what to say.”
Lane's eyebrow twitched before she turned away. “No reason to talk, Anna. You can just grab whatever you need. No need to waste your breath anymore with me.”
The scientist frowned. “Is that what you want?” Anna's eyes looked down, only to snap up at the other woman's dry laugh.
“We both know that's not it.” Lane stood with a groan. “Forgive me for not having the strength to feel more empathy for you. I'm tired.” Lane walked past Anna.
“You know I care for you and would do just about anything in my power for you, but that's enough begging at your feet for anything, Anna—”
“It's not easy, you know,” Anna snapped, facing the opposite direction from the cryptographer, clutching her shirt, trying to stop her hand from shaking.
Lane laughed darkly as she stood taller. “Do you really think I don't know that? I recognize you're not in a good spot, nor are you capable of doing anything about it because you are not ready.” Lane snapped before sighing. “I'm respecting that because I respect you, but to put it simply, I don't have enough strength for the both of us, okay? I can barely recognize—” she spread her arms. Not at the lounge but at the world. “...this as MY life. You're still my friend, and I'll do what I can for you, but that's it. I respect you, and I ask you to respect me too.” Lane looked down before continuing to walk to the door.
Despite Lane's genuine request, Anna grabbed her wrist desperately. “Wait!”
Lane bit her tongue, furiously wanting to pull away, disgusted; but as she suspected, her strength was nonexistent when it came to the scientist. “Anna, let go. Now.” Lane snapped, looking furiously at the door, ignoring the metallic taste in her mouth.
No matter how much Anna's heart shook at Lane's angry yet desperate voice she couldn't risk letting her go and yet Anna's hold loosened. “Just listen to me. Please.” She let go once she felt Lane wouldn't leave her. “...”
“...well?”
Anna looked down. “...I don't know. I-I just didn't want you to leave.”
Lane's shoulders fell as she sighed again. Her eyes raised to the ceiling, her voice soft, softer than Anna had ever heard, “I'm tired. When I said I didn't want these feelings, I meant it, you know. It hurts, but you probably know that. I'm just repeating myself at this point, and yet I keep talking. I keep talking, but you never… do anything.”
“I… I'm sorry.”
“Where are we?”
Anna's eyes looked at Lane, confused. “What-?”
Lane, who was slightly shorter than the scientist, stepped closer, eyes looking up, focused despite the raging sentiments. “Where are we?”
“I-in—” Anna coughed, clearing her throat of her anxiety. “In Poritas—”
“No.” She stepped closer to Anna. “We're in a multimillion-dollar hotel that's falling apart, with abominations waiting outside to eat us like we're free little snacks walking around. Before all of this 'fun business,' between 180,000 and 450,000 people died suddenly each year.”
Lane shrugged. “That's only counting for the U.S. Now, with the constant threat of death and the fact that most people have already been chomped, it could go down.” Lane smiled tightly. “Before it was live, laugh, and love—”
Lane laughed dryly. “But now it's either you live, laugh, but not too loudly, or—” She points to an abomination sitting on the edge of another building, thankfully looking away from them. “—or you get eaten by our friend here. And TRY to live and die from an infection. Or get killed by literally anything!” Lane laughed, exasperated. She wasn't crazy, just tired… of everything, and who wouldn't be?
Anna looked away. “Lane... I understand, but—”
“Listen—” Lane massaged her forehead. “We. Are. In. An. Apocalypse.” She emphasized each word with a small step closer to the scientist. “I really don't think Dmitry or anyone would care about you being with a woman when they constantly have to look over their shoulders.”
Anna stood, unable to get any words past her lips. She stared at the abomination perched on the building as if begging for it to turn to her and… well, attack her. That would certainly be easier than having this conversation.
Lane stepped back. “Do you like me?”
Anna snapped her eyes to Lane, only to look away, her cheeks slightly flushed. “I… I like your company.”
Lane's lips curled up ever so slightly at that response, and at Anna's blush, of course. How can someone not enjoy the sight of their admirer’s flushed cheeks? She liked that she affected the scientist like this. Despite her apparent inability to feel sentiments like another human, the cryptographer could feel her heart flutter at the sight of Anna's flush.
Lane laughed softly. “I like your company too, Anna— Again— Do you like me?”
Anna took a small step back. “I—... I like you a lot.” Her words were whispered as if she were afraid of anyone else hearing her confession.
Before Lane could respond or celebrate, Anna quickly added, “You’re my friend.”
Looking away, her shoulders sagging, Lane bit her lip. “I'm your friend? That's all?” Her eyes snapped to Anna, whose face was twisted in a self-loathing grimace.
Lane massaged her temple. “Anna… what—or rather who—are you so afraid of? You can't even admit you like me, even if I—”
Anna gritted her teeth in a snarl as she stepped toward Lane, suddenly furious. “I don't—!”
Lane laughed sharply, “Would you shut up?!” Cutting Anna off as she pushed back against the scientist, meeting her sharp blue eyes. “Yes, you do! You always get mad when I admit what you can't! I don't care what you do, but stop dragging me along. I can't do it anymore! Just… leave. Me. Alone.”
After a moment of silence, Lane spun on her heel, determined to pull away from the situation.
Of course, that was unacceptable for the scientist. The only thing that terrified Anna more than being honest about her feelings was Lane walking away—from her. Given this fact, Anna pulled Lane hard against her body, kissing the woman desperately.
Lane stood, shocked, as Anna kissed her as if the woman had been told, “Kiss her or you die.”
Lanes hand slowly lifted to Anna cheek-
As if she were physically hit on the head, Lane snapped to her senses. She pushed Anna off her hard enough to make the woman stumble back onto the couch.
Anna stared up at Lane, who was leaning on her knees, panting as if what she had done had taken all her strength.
The shocked scientist swallowed audibly before reaching for the cryptographer only to have her step away, as if afraid of the scientist's hand. “Lane…I–”
The cryptographers locked eyes with Anna’s pleading and screaming gaze, having the very conversation she couldn’t put into words, only for Lane to turn away, flushed, and storm towards the exit.
“Just leaving me, Anna—”
“They never said it was okay!”
Now that made Lane stop in her tracks, while Anna leaned on the couch heavily, panting.
Anna slowly lifted her eyes to meet Lane's. “My mother a-and my father. They never said I’d… I’d feel like this for—…” Anna looked away, ashamed, whispering, “for a woman… for you.”
Lane stood still as Anna slowly made her way toward her. “I never considered myself- I never… I never thought I could feel like this.” She reached for the woman’s hand. “You’re the reason I—”
Lane pulled her hand back before Anna could trap her in a potential cage made of her own sentiments.
Lane would lose nothing if she listened, right? Unfortunately, that's not true. She would, and it would slowly rip her apart every moment she was with the scientist, only to be treated as a friend the second someone could find out.
“I can't. I said… I understand your position, but I can't just—just wait until you decide when you're ready to be—be honest. I'm sorry.” Lane looked back at Anna briefly before forcing her feet to walk toward the door.
“Lane, please don't leave me...”
Anna's broken voice made Lane stop again. Emotion clawed in her eyes as she looked down, speaking in a defeated voice: “I'm not. No matter how much I should... I'm not. But I don't deserve— this–:this isn't right. You said it yourself, didn't you?”
Anna blinked, confused, before her eyes widened with realization.
– –
Anna smiled sorrowfully. “Make sure he treasures every moment with you... and plans a date at least once a week! Also, he should get you a bouquet, even if it's just those flowers that grow in the cracks of stone, and—”
– –
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Lane stormed her way through the entrance just as Anna blinked herself back into reality.
Lester, who had just walked into the living room, jumped back as Lane strode out of the room, not giving him a moment to ask if she was okay.
He looked back to see Anna reaching out to Lane's darkening figure.
His brows furrowed, concerned for the scientist who was breathing heavily. “Hey, are you okay?”
Poor Lester, who was completely innocent in the situation, had the unfortunate pleasure of receiving the full effect of Anna's furious glare that was as bad as her brothers as she snapped her teary eyes to the young man. “Yes! Mind your fucking own business, Lester!”
“What—” Lester looked dumbfounded at her. “Anna, You're —”
She shoved him aside hard as she stormed past him.
“Wha– Well, sorry for existing when you're pissed!!” he yelled after Anna's retreating form, only for her to flip an unkind gesture over her shoulder as she turned a corner.
Lester threw his arms up. “These women!” He walked to the couch.