Chapter 52
Luna sat down in front of Greta in her office and couldn’t hide the nervousness she felt being there. Her leg was bouncing as she stared at the clock, which seemed to move its hands in slow motion. Her heart was torn — part of her hesitated to leave her children behind, while another part recognized the need to be there, to invest in that space where she was heard and understood.
Greta, as always, patiently waited for Luna to speak, offering only a welcoming smile before asking:
"Welcome back, Luna. It’s good to see you again. How are you feeling today?"
Luna let out a soft sigh, as if she had carried weeks of exhaustion up to that point. "Strange," she replied, slightly furrowing her brow. "I left the boys at home with Harry. He insisted I needed to come, but it was hard to leave. It felt like I was leaving part of myself behind."
Greta nodded, leaning slightly forward. "It’s natural to feel that way, especially so soon. The connection you have with them is very strong, but being here is also an act of self-care. How did you feel about making this decision?"
"Hard," Luna admitted, the tired smile on her lips contrasting with the depth of her honesty. "Even knowing it’s the best thing for me and for them in the long run, part of me feels like something might go wrong if I’m not there."
"Do you believe you need to be present all the time to be a good mother?"
Luna hesitated, fiddling with the fabric of her blouse. "Maybe. I know it’s impossible, but... yes. Part of me feels like if I’m not there, something could go wrong. Or they might need something only I can offer."
"But you said Harry is there. Do you think he’s capable of taking care of the kids?"
"Yes." She replied without hesitation.
"Then we see that your fear of something going wrong when you're not there is unfounded," Greta said gently.
Luna thought about her statement. She was right. Harry knew and could take care of the babies as well as she could, so there was no need to fear so much. That thought made her relax a little.
"You’re right." She admitted.
"Now tell me, how has the first month been with the babies?" Greta asked, her voice calm but full of genuine interest.
Luna sighed, her shoulders slumping a little as she organized her thoughts.
"I... didn’t expect it to be so hard," she admitted, her eyes focusing on her hands. "I knew taking care of newborns would be exhausting, but it feels like I’m not enough for them. Sometimes, I feel like I’m failing."
Greta tilted her head slightly, encouraging her to continue.
"The first days at home were chaotic," Luna continued. "James and Alvo were constantly crying, and I couldn’t breastfeed them. They weren’t latching properly, and it felt like I was doing something wrong. I felt so powerless."
She paused, her eyes welling up with unshed tears.
"That’s when Molly came," she continued. "Harry decided to ask for help, and when she arrived, I was trying to feed both of them and practically crying in frustration. She took James in her arms and started showing me how to position him properly. She was patient, sweet, and understanding. Soon enough, both of them started breastfeeding."
Luna laughed without humor, tears finally running down her face.
"It should have been a moment of relief, but all I felt was shame. I’m their mother. I should know how to do this. I should be enough. But I needed help."
Greta leaned forward, her voice gentle.
"Luna, what you’ve described is very common. Being a mother isn’t something that comes with a manual. Needing help doesn’t mean failure – it means you’re doing what’s best for your children. That’s what being enough is."
Luna swallowed hard, absorbing the words of the therapist. Those words made her feel a little better. She was giving everything she had to the babies, that had to be enough.
"And about Harry?" Greta asked, shifting the focus.
Luna hesitated, her eyes falling to the ground.
"He’s been... wonderful," she admitted, her voice quiet. "He takes care of the boys with all his dedication, never tiring or complaining. But it’s not just that."
"Does he take care of you too?" Greta finished softly.
Luna nodded, gripping her hands in her lap.
"Yes. He notices when I’m exhausted before I even say anything. He makes meals, reminds me to drink water, even insists that I take naps while he cares for the babies. On my birthday, he brought me coffee in bed, gave me a gift, and let me sleep the whole night while he took care of them alone."
"And how does that make you feel?" Greta asked, observing Luna’s expression closely.
"Scared," Luna responded quickly, almost in a whisper. "Having him take care of me again makes me feel... vulnerable. And... I don’t know if I can trust that."
Greta furrowed her brow slightly.
"Why do you think you can’t trust that?"
"Because Harry left once," Luna admitted, her voice trembling slightly. "What if he leaves again? What if, one day, he decides he doesn’t want to be here anymore? I don’t know if I could handle that again."
There was a moment of silence as Greta let Luna breathe, processing her own words.
"Do you think this time is like the last time he was with you?"
Luna thought for a moment. "Actually, no. He seems more intentional, more firm, even more determined. But that’s exactly what scares me."
"So you’ve put up a barrier," Greta suggested, without judgment.
Luna nodded slowly. "Yes. I told him we’re just parents. That’s enough. And in a way, it is. We’re being good for the boys. They have love, care, everything they need."
"But what about what you need, Luna?"
The question hung in the air, uncomfortable in its simplicity. Luna looked away, as if avoiding the intensity of the moment. "I don’t know. Maybe I’m okay like this."
"Do you believe that?"
Luna didn’t answer immediately. Instead, she took a deep breath, trying to process the question. "I don’t know if I can believe in anything more," she finally said, her voice soft. "Opening that door, letting the barrier fall... feels risky. What if I believe he feels something for me and I’m wrong? I don’t know if I could handle that."
"And what if you’re right?" Greta gently but firmly countered.
Luna looked at her, her eyes revealing the internal battle she was fighting. "That would be... scary too," she admitted. "Because it would mean I’d have to let go of the control I’ve been trying to maintain. And trust. In myself, in him... in everything."
"Trust is a choice, Luna. And it doesn’t have to be made all at once. It can start small. Maybe even with yourself. Are you able to recognize what you need, even if you don’t yet know how to get there?"
Luna took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the question. "I think so," she answered hesitantly. "But it feels so distant, like something that only exists for other people, never for me."
"Luna," Greta began, her voice full of empathy, "it’s natural to be afraid when something matters so much. But sometimes, what we fear the most is also what we need to face the most. Maybe, instead of protecting yourself from that care, you can allow it to happen, one day at a time."
Luna remained silent, Greta’s words echoing in her mind. She knew the therapist made sense, but the wounds of the past were deep. And love, no matter how much she tried to ignore it, was terrifyingly powerful.
As the session ended, Luna felt a mix of emotions — exhaustion, relief, and a faint tinge of shy hope. As she left the office, Greta’s words echoed in her mind: What if you’re right?
Maybe it was time to explore what that really meant.
Later that night, Luna was sitting in the armchair in the twins' room, watching James and Alvo sleep. Harry entered quietly, carrying a cup of tea for her.
"I thought this might help," he said, offering the tea with a shy smile.
"Thank you," Luna replied, taking the cup while looking at him.
Harry hesitated for a moment before approaching her, gazing at the boys with an expression of pure adoration.
"You’re doing an incredible job, you know?" he said softly.
Luna swallowed hard, the weight of his words hitting her heart.
"Thank you, Harry," she said, her voice barely audible. "You are too."
He looked at her, his eyes full of an emotion she couldn’t decipher, but it made her heart race.
"Thank you." He spoke gently.
As he silently left the room, Luna watched him with a heavy heart. She was trying to keep a barrier between them to protect herself, but the truth was that when it came to Harry Potter, her heart would always be unprotected. She wondered about her love for him, if it was something she clung to because he was her only friend, but that was a lie. She loved him for who he was. Kind, strong, dedicated, committed to those he cared about, loyal, and a beautiful soul. Even with all the barriers and distance she put between them, he still took care of her, cared for her, and made an effort to give the best to the babies and to her. How could she not love him when it was so easy to do so?