Beyond Fear

“Are you sure everything will be fine?” Harry asked for the fifth time in just ten minutes. “I can cancel. Maybe it’s better to wait until they’re two months old.” He sounded uncertain.

“Harry, it’s fine. You can go. It’s just 50 minutes, and they just fell asleep. By the time you’re back, they’ll still be sleeping.” She smiled, encouraging him. “We’ll be okay for that time.”

“I feel terrible leaving you here alone.”

“It’ll do you good to go. Besides, we agreed I’d go next week.” She tried to sound cheerful, though she wasn’t sure how she’d feel being away from the babies either.

“You’re right. You need this time too.” Harry replied but remained standing in the middle of the room, staring at the babies sleeping in their crib.

“You’re going to be late,” she said, laughing.

“Right. I’ll be back soon. You’ll call me if you need anything?” he asked again.

“I will,” she answered without hesitation.

“Okay, I’m going now.” He took one last look at the babies and stepped into the fireplace.

Harry entered Grimsby’s office with hesitant steps, but the counselor greeted him with his usual warm and welcoming demeanor.

“Welcome back, Harry. It’s good to see you again. How are you feeling?”

Harry sighed, sinking into the armchair and running a hand over his face. “Tired,” he replied bluntly. “Really tired. The babies are... amazing, but I didn’t think it would be this exhausting. It feels like there’s never a break.”

Grimsby nodded, a look of understanding on his face. “The early days of parenthood can be overwhelming. It’s normal to feel this way. How has this period been for you?”

Harry hesitated, as if struggling to organize his thoughts. “It’s a mix of things. I look at them, and I feel something I’ve never felt before—something so strong it’s almost scary. I want to protect them from everything, make sure they have a better life than I did. But at the same time... I’m afraid I’m not enough.”

“Afraid of failing as a father?”

Harry nodded slowly. “Yes. And I think it’s tied to... well, me. Who I am—or maybe who I think I should be.” He paused, reflecting. “I always thought love was... big, overwhelming. Something you either feel or don’t. But with them, it’s different. It’s constant. A kind of love that seems to grow every day, even when I’m completely drained.”

Grimsby watched him closely before speaking. “It sounds like you’re discovering a deeper side of love—something that goes beyond what you’ve known before.”

“Maybe,” Harry murmured, his eyes fixed on the floor. “But it’s complicated. Love scares me. I know what it means to lose the people you love. And now, with them... and with Luna... it feels like everything is at stake.”

“And how have things been with Luna?”

Harry looked up, his expression a mix of confusion and something softer. “She’s been incredible. Strong, patient... she seems to understand the boys in a way I can’t even begin to. And when I’m with her, I feel... peace. But at the same time, there’s something that makes me uneasy.”

“Uneasy how?”

“Like I’m waiting for something to go wrong,” he admitted in a low voice. “Like I can’t fully believe this is real. And then there are moments when I look at her, and... it’s like everything makes sense. But that scares me even more.”

Grimsby leaned forward slightly, intrigued. “It sounds like she’s been a crucial part of this experience for you, but there’s something holding you back from fully relaxing into this relationship. Is that right?”

Harry nodded, somewhat reluctantly. “During the birth... I felt like she was more than just a partner in caring for the boys. She was... incredible. Strong in a way I’d never seen before. She trusted me, held my hand. I felt like we were a team, but at the same time... I felt small next to her.”

“Small?”

“Not in a bad way,” he quickly clarified. “It was more like I was standing in front of something greater than myself. She showed me a strength I didn’t know existed, and it made me realize how much I admire who she is. But at the same time, it scared me. Because if she’s that amazing, how can I ever be enough for her?”

Grimsby gave a slight smile, as if he had anticipated this train of thought. “Harry, what you’re describing isn’t just admiration. It sounds like you’re recognizing something profound about your connection with her. You said you felt like part of a team. Isn’t that enough to start with?”

“I think so,” Harry replied, but he still sounded unsure. “But... how do I know if what I feel for her is love? How do I know it’s not just gratitude or something like that?”

"Harry, what you feel for Luna doesn’t need to fit into a perfect label right now. Love is a construction, a sum of moments, choices, and feelings. The most important thing right now is to ask yourself: are you willing to explore what you feel for her, without the pressure of needing a definitive answer?"

Harry was silent for a moment, digesting the words. "I think I am," he finally said. "But it’s scary. What if I mess everything up?"

"And what if you don’t?" Grimsby replied with a lightness that caught Harry by surprise. "What if, instead, you build something real and true? Remember, Harry, you don’t need to have all the answers right now. But opening yourself up to Luna, to the boys, and to yourself is already a big step."

Harry nodded slowly, hesitating. "I think I can try."

Grimsby noticed Harry’s hesitation, his expression indicating there was something else weighing on him.  

"You seem worried," Grimsby commented. "Is there something else on your mind?"

Harry let out a heavy sigh, resting his elbows on his knees as he stared at his hands. "Yes. I... I don’t know how to do this. How to open up to Luna. It feels like she’s put a barrier between us."

Grimsby leaned slightly forward, his gaze attentive. "You feel that Luna is putting up barriers between you?"

Harry nodded, the discomfort clear on his face. "Yes. After that night at the Weasleys’... after everything Ginny said, Luna changed. She... she told me she was releasing me from any responsibility. And since then, even though we’re in the same place, it feels like she’s miles away. She never talks about it. Never asks me what I want or how I feel. It’s like she’s already decided I don’t belong here."

Grimsby was silent for a moment, giving Harry time to continue.

"I know I hurt Luna," he said, his voice heavy with guilt. "I should have been clearer with her, but... I didn’t have all the answers. And now it feels like no matter what I say or do, she’s built a wall between us. She’s always kind. But... distant. I want to reach her, but I don’t know how, and I keep wondering if she even wants me to."

Grimsby adjusted his glasses, a gesture Harry had come to associate with patience and thoughtfulness. "Do you think Luna’s distance is a form of protection?"

Harry blinked, confused. "Protection? How so?"

"Luna has been hurt before, Harry. And Ginny’s words, combined with the silence you kept that night, may have confirmed a fear she already carried. Perhaps she believes that keeping some emotional distance will protect herself and the boys. It’s a way to avoid more pain."

"I want... I need her to know I’m here. That I’m not going anywhere. But it’s like every attempt I make to get closer is met with a gentleness that’s actually a barrier. I don’t know what to do."

"Do you think part of that barrier is a reflection of your own uncertainties?" Grimsby asked calmly.

Harry was silent, the words hitting him hard. He knew he had been hesitant, that he had often let his doubts speak louder than his heart.

"Yes," he finally admitted. "But... after everything we’ve been through together, the birth and now caring for the babies, I’ve changed. I want to be with her. I want to build something real. I just don’t know how to convince her of that."

Grimsby nodded. "Harry, breaking through that barrier won’t be a quick or easy process. You’ll need patience, consistency, and above all, honesty. Don’t try to tear down Luna’s walls all at once. Show her, every day, that you’re present, that you’re committed—not just to the boys but to her. And remember: you also have the right to be vulnerable. To share your own doubts and fears. True intimacy is born from that exchange."

"And what if she never believes me?" Harry asked in a low voice.

"Then you’ll need to make a choice," Grimsby said, his voice firm yet compassionate. "If what you feel for Luna is real, you’ll keep showing her, day by day, that you’re willing to fight for this relationship. But you’ll also need to be prepared to accept that things will only change when she’s ready. Some wounds take time to heal."

Harry took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the words. He didn’t have all the answers, but for the first time, he felt like he had a path to follow.

"Thank you, Grimsby," he said, standing up. "I’ll try. For her. For us."

When the session ended, Harry left with a sense of determination. He didn’t have all the answers and still felt afraid, but he realized that Luna wasn’t an obligation to him. She was a strong, kind, and beautiful woman. Everything they had shared before was born from a deep feeling, and it was something he didn’t want to stop feeling. It was something he wanted to nurture between them. She was everything he wanted, and there was no longer any doubt about that in his heart.

He knew he had hurt her and that he would have to prove to her that she could trust him again. But he promised himself he wouldn’t give up. Luna was worth every effort.

He could only hope there was still a place for him in her heart.