Beyond Fear

The Burrow was bustling with life, as it always was during Christmas. Laughter echoed through the cozy walls, mingling with the scent of cinnamon and pine. Despite the palpable joy, a somber undertone lingered, the absence of those lost in the war casting a shadow. Harry caught the way Molly’s eyes lingered on George, how an empty chair remained by her side.  

Andromeda had come with Teddy, and as Harry looked at the one-year-old, he couldn’t help but think of how the boy would grow up without his parents. He silently vowed to be as good a godfather to him as Sirius had been to him.  

That thought drew his gaze to Luna’s pregnant belly, and a wave of gratitude for the chance to raise his children washed over him, mingling with the old guilt for those who couldn’t have the same.  

Dinner had ended, much to Harry’s relief after enduring Ginny’s glances throughout the meal. He had expected discomfort, but she hadn’t tried to make it easier.  

Harry glanced around, distracted from Bill and Ron’s conversation about Quidditch, observing the cheerful chatter around him. The women remained at the kitchen table, while the men dispersed into the living room. Harry wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to this calm, the absence of war waiting just beyond the door. He felt momentarily out of place, as though the war still raged inside him. Needing air, Harry excused himself and headed upstairs to the bathroom.  

The door to Ron’s room was open, and he stepped inside, noting how everything looked just as it had on his first visit to the Burrow. Thinking of that younger Harry made him realize how far he had come since then—except for that old fear of not being good enough. Only now, it was about whether he’d be a good father.  

Harry was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice someone else in the room until they spoke.  

“Always slipping away from the crowd and sneaking into corners.”  

Harry turned, startled, and saw Ginny standing in the doorway.  

“Some things never change,” Harry replied, watching her step further into the room.  

Her posture was straight, and she wore that determined look he had once found captivating.  

“When it comes to Harry Potter, some things really don’t change,” she said, her tone laced with light sarcasm.  

Harry frowned. “What are you talking about, Ginny?”  

“You’re with her now.” It wasn’t a question. Neither needed to say her name to know they were talking about Luna.  

Harry said nothing.  

“I knew this would happen. It was obvious.” She laughed without humor.  

“Ginny… what do you want?” Harry wasn’t in the mood for another argument.  

“You got Luna pregnant, Harry. Do you really think you’re in love with her? Or are you just with her because you feel obligated to be?”  

“That’s not fair, Ginny,” he said, trying to ignore the ache her words caused. It was a question he had been avoiding himself.  

“Fair?” she laughed, a hollow sound. “I know you, Harry. You always do what you think you’re supposed to do. You saved the world, you saved the Weasleys, and now you think you have to save Luna. But you know what? She doesn’t need saving.” Her voice grew louder.  

Harry blinked, surprised at the intensity of her words.  

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He tried to protest, but his voice sounded weak even to himself.  

“Don’t I? Then tell me—without a shadow of a doubt—that you’re not with her because of the responsibility. That you’d be with her if she wasn’t pregnant.”  

Harry felt the weight of her words. Part of him feared she was right—that he was with Luna because of the twins, because of the responsibility. But at the same time, there was something more, something he couldn’t put into words.  

He stayed silent, struggling to find a response.  

“Exactly what I thought.”  

Ginny stepped forward and kissed him. It was a quick kiss, filled with hurt and longing. Harry froze for a moment, but then he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her away.  

“Ginny, you know it’s over between us,” he said, his voice shaky.  

She stared at him for a moment, then, seeing the resolve in his eyes, turned and left the room without another word.  

Harry stood rooted in place, stunned. He hadn’t wanted that kiss—of that he was sure. The problem was everything she had said about Luna. He had never felt so confused.  

—-----------------  

Luna climbed the stairs slowly, heading for the bathroom. It was already the fourth time she’d needed it just during dinner. Having two babies pressing on her bladder was definitely something she wouldn’t miss once they were born. Luna smiled softly, running her hand over her belly.  

Despite Ginny’s piercing glares, dinner had been good. She had felt like part of a family. The warmth she had received tonight pushed the memory of where she’d been a year ago far into the background.  

When she reached the landing, she heard voices coming from one of the rooms. She recognized Harry’s immediately. Not wanting to eavesdrop, she continued toward the bathroom, but when she reached the door, she heard something that made her stop in her tracks.  

“...are you really in love with her? Or are you just with her because you feel obligated to be?”  

Ginny’s voice was clear, laced with accusation. Luna felt her chest tighten, but she couldn’t bring herself to move away.  

“That’s not fair, Ginny.” Harry’s response was calm, but there was a hesitation in his voice that made Luna flinch.  

Luna stood frozen, listening as the words fell like weights around her.  

“...can you say without a shadow of a doubt that you’re not with her out of responsibility? That you’d be with her if she weren’t pregnant?”  

Luna held her breath. She already knew what was coming, but clung to a sliver of innocent hope. She had always known words had the power to start wars and bring peace, to heal and to kill. But she had never known that silence could wield the same power. Harry’s silence seemed to echo across all of Britain and through every part of her being.  

Then she saw Ginny attempt to kiss him, but he pushed her away. That mattered least to Luna.  

Her eyes stung, and her heart broke, but she stood there, listening to the silence that followed. When she saw Ginny leave the room and enter her own, Luna finally moved, hurrying downstairs as quickly as she could.  

“Again with the bathroom?” Hermione said as she approached.

“Yes.” She donned her dreamy mask. “I’m quite tired. Could you let Harry know I went to bed?” She smiled, hoping Hermione wouldn’t notice.  

At that moment, Ron called Hermione from the kitchen, and Luna felt a wave of relief.  

“Sure, I’ll tell him.” Hermione kissed Luna’s cheek and hurried to the kitchen.  

Luna stepped into the fireplace, not looking around or saying goodbye.  

When she entered her living room, the heaviness in her heart almost stole her breath. Luna glanced around, feeling aimless. Everything there reminded her of Harry.  

Mechanically, she walked to the kitchen and sat at the table, her gaze fixed on the window as snow fell outside. The cold she felt inside was deeper than the blizzard outside.  

Luna took a deep breath, trying to hold back the pain. She wouldn’t cry. Not again. She knew this feeling all too well—after her mother’s death, rejection was all she had ever known. She could endure it again. Deep down, she believed she deserved it.  

Unconsciously, her hand rested on her belly. It always brought some comfort. Then she heard the sound of the fireplace, followed by Harry’s voice.  

—-------------  

When Harry came downstairs, still dazed, he hoped no one had noticed his absence. He wanted nothing more than to sit quietly in a corner, preferably where Luna couldn’t see him. He felt that if she looked at him, she might read his soul.  

But as he glanced around, Luna was nowhere to be seen. He walked to the kitchen, but she wasn’t there either. Hermione quickly informed him that Luna was tired and had gone home.  

Another wave of guilt crashed over him. While he was upstairs wrestling with his feelings, the mother of his children had been shouldering all the work, all the weight, alone.  

Harry told himself he needed to grow up and stop being a lost boy. He had a family to care for.  

He said his goodbyes to everyone and stepped into the fireplace.  

“Luna!” he called as he entered the living room. The house was silent.  

“Luna!” he called again, moving toward the stairs. Then he saw her sitting in the kitchen.  

“Luna… are you okay?” he asked, worried when she didn’t respond.  

“Luna?” he tried again as he stepped into the kitchen. Only then did she look at him.  

Her face was neutral, but her eyes seemed off. He stared at her, trying to understand what was different, and then it hit him—those large silver eyes were dull, lifeless. His heart skipped a beat.  

“I heard.” That was all she said.  

Harry froze. His heart raced, and fear gripped him.  

“Luna…” He stepped closer. He wanted to touch her, to explain, but she raised a hand to stop him.  

“You don’t need to explain,” she said, her voice surprisingly calm. “I heard enough.”  

“Luna, I…”  

She cut him off again. “You’ve done enough for me.” She gave him a trembling smile, and it tore him apart. “I release you from any responsibility you feel you have toward me.”  

His shoulders sagged, and his eyes filled with tears. He didn’t want this to happen. Harry wanted to argue, to tell her she was wrong, but the truth was, he wasn’t sure.  

“You need to leave,” she said, her voice firm now.  

“What?” He asked, shocked.  

“You need to leave,” she repeated, her voice soft—the voice he loved—but with a determination he had never heard from her before. “There’s nothing here for you now. Thank you for staying to help me. I’ll never be able to thank you enough, but you don’t need to be here anymore.”  

She turned back to the window.  

Harry felt like he was bleeding. He couldn’t breathe properly. He was losing her. Had he ever truly had her? She was sending him away.  

His whole world was here.  

“Of course, you can sleep in the guest room tonight and pack your things tomorrow,” she added, as if he were a stranger.  

Then his eyes fell on her belly, and he wanted to weep. His children. How could he stay away from them? He wanted to beg her to change her mind.  

“And the babies? They’re due next month. How am I supposed to stay away from them?” He felt the ground shift beneath his feet. Was he losing them too?  

She looked at him again, her expression softening.  

“You won’t stay away,” she assured him, her voice trembling. “I want you to be there for them, Harry.”  

He felt a faint flicker of relief, but his heart still ached—his entire body ached. His hands trembled, and a single tear slipped from his right eye.  

“I wish it were different,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. Harry felt completely shattered, his emotions tangled and raw.  

Luna stood up and walked past him. When she reached the top of the stairs, he heard her say. "Me too."