Beyond Fear

In the morning, Luna woke up to Harry's warm body pressed against her back, his hand still resting on her belly. She felt incredibly safe with him, yet it wasn’t enough to stop the dull ache in her heart.

Luna recalled the events of the previous night. She knew Ginny was right about at least one thing: she had loved Harry since Hogwarts, and even though she had never done anything to show her feelings—out of respect for her friendship with Ginny—she still felt a bit guilty about it. However, that didn’t justify everything Ginny had said. Luna felt the urge to cry again.

To be honest, she wished it were true, that she had made everything up; that way, she wouldn’t have had to go through that hell. But unfortunately, she had to endure it.

“You’re overthinking,” Harry’s voice came out hoarse with sleep, his breath brushing against Luna’s neck, making her suppress a shiver.

Luna chuckled softly, a small laugh, but it still felt good. Harry loved it.

“How are you?” he asked gently, stroking her belly. Harry still marveled at how simple it was to touch Luna. He didn’t do that with anyone else, but with her, he didn’t even think twice about it.

Luna took a deep breath. “Sad, but above all, perplexed. Those words hurt so much, but I wish so badly they were true.”

Harry understood what she was saying. “Because it would mean you never had to go through what you went through,” he concluded.

“Yes.”

They sat in silence.

“But then, it would mean you’d seduced me,” he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Are you easily seduced, Mr. Potter?” Luna replied, playing along.

“That depends on who’s doing the seducing.”

Luna slapped his arm, and they both laughed.

“Thank you, Harry,” she said after a moment of silence. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you these past few months.”

Harry tightened his arm around her. “You’d have done perfectly fine because you’re the strongest woman I know. But I’m glad I could help.”

She turned her body until she was facing him, curling up against his chest, her belly resting between them. Harry had been the only constant presence in her life this past year; he was her best friend, and she felt immensely safe with him. Her heart longed for him as more than a friend, even knowing he’d never love her as anything but a friend.

“I’m sorry about your relationship, Harry. I didn’t mean to harm it.” She was sincere. Luna loved Harry, and because of that, she wanted him to be happy—even if it wasn’t with her.

He placed his arm protectively around her and began running his fingers through her hair, which hung down her back. Luna felt herself melt into him. She knew Harry wasn’t someone who had received much affection, nor did he often give it, but she had noticed how comfortable he was touching her and being touched by her. Sometimes, it gave her unrealistic hope.

“You don’t need to apologize, Lu.” She loved when he called her that. “I should’ve ended things a long time ago, but I didn’t have the courage. I’m relieved it’s over now.” Harry wasn’t surprised to find himself opening his heart to her—it was what he always did.

They stayed embraced in silence for a while until Hermione’s owl appeared at the window.

“I guess the news has already spread,” Harry said, sighing.

When Luna sat up so Harry could get off the sofa and retrieve the letter, he had to stop himself from lamenting the loss of her warmth and the feel of her body against his. It seemed so perfect, cuddling with Luna. For someone who didn’t care much for touch, these moments with Luna confused him. He wondered why it was different with her, only her.

Harry got up and walked to the owl. Hermione’s letter didn’t surprise him.

Harry,

What happened between you and Ginny? She refuses to say but showed up at the party distraught. I hate to say this, but she got drunk and ended up making out with Dean.
Can I hope that you’ve finally made the right decision?

Please write back. Ron’s worried.

Hermione

Harry sighed. Of course, Ginny would do something like that.

He saw Luna watching him and handed her the letter to read. She stayed silent for a moment.

“Are you upset that she was with Dean?” she asked softly.

Harry thought about it for a moment. “No, I don’t care.” He was surprised to realize it was true. He felt nothing.

Luna looked at him, searching his eyes for the truth, and he held her gaze so she could see he meant it.

“I feel guilty about this,” she said, lowering her head.

Harry walked to her and knelt in front of the sofa, bringing their eyes level. “None of this is your fault. Ginny was extremely cruel, and she had no right to say what she said. I should’ve ended it with her long ago because the only thing I felt for her was guilt, but I was a coward. I’m glad it’s over.” And everything he said was true.

Luna nodded, smiling when Harry leaned in and kissed her forehead.

“I should respond to Hermione now. Then we’ll make breakfast.”

“I’ll help you.” She got up and followed him to the kitchen.

Harry was happy to see her smile.

After he wrote back to Hermione, explaining everything that had happened, he and Luna began preparing breakfast. He still worried about her standing for too long, so he spent most of the time complaining to her.

“Lu, you’ve done enough. You should sit,” he tried to take the spatula she was using to stir the eggs.

“Harry…” She pulled the spatula out of his reach. “The doctor said I could start moving around again; it’s good for all three of us,” she argued, turning off the stove and plating the eggs.
“There. Now let’s sit.” She sat and pointed to a chair for him.

They ate in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts.

The days passed in their usual routine, and November arrived with its dry leaves and cold days.

Harry still thought about Ginny and how harsh her words had been. Although he’d come to realize he didn’t know her well, he had grown up in her home, with her family. Her words were cruel, even considering everything she had been saying over the past year.

He had never seen her like that before, and somehow he felt guilty about it, as if he were the one to blame for her becoming that way.

Harry didn’t want things to have ended with them shouting at each other, even though they had been doing so throughout the year. He respected her and wanted her to know that. For that reason, he sent a letter asking her to meet him at The Three Broomsticks on the weekend they could go to Hogsmeade.

The Three Broomsticks was quieter than usual that afternoon. Harry arrived early, choosing a discreet table in the back. He wanted to avoid curious glances or the possibility of someone interrupting the conversation he knew would be difficult. Harry came alone, having explained to Luna why he was going there. She supported him, and he could see in her eyes that she still felt guilty, even though he kept telling her she wasn’t.

When Ginny walked in, he noticed her immediately. Her red hair gleamed under the daylight, but there was something in her expression that made her look more tired, almost fragile. She walked toward him with determined steps, but her smile seemed forced. She sat down in front of him without saying anything for a moment, simply crossing her arms on the table and looking at him with a mix of expectation and resentment.

“Thanks for coming,” Harry began, his voice low. He wasn’t sure how to start the conversation. Part of him wanted to back away, to avoid the confrontation, but he knew it wouldn’t be fair to either of them.

“You said you wanted to talk,” Ginny replied, her tone more defensive than he had expected. “So talk.”

Harry nodded, clasping his hands on the table. “We needed to talk.”

She sighed, looking away. “I know. I just… I didn’t expect things between us to come to this.” She now seemed more tired than defensive.

He felt a pang in his chest, but he couldn’t let it distract him. “Neither did I, Ginny. But after what happened… I can’t keep going.”

She looked at him, a mixture of anger and hurt flashing in her eyes. “Harry, I lost my temper. I said things I shouldn’t have. You know how hard it is for me to see you with her… how can I accept that?”

“I understand it’s hard, Ginny,” he said, his tone firm but controlled. “But what you said to Luna was cruel. There’s no justification. You accused her of something horrible, something she has already suffered too much from and still struggles to bear.”

Ginny looked away again, nervously fidgeting with the sleeve of her coat. “I was angry. You never understood how hard it was for me when you… left to hunt Horcruxes. I waited for you, Harry. All those months while you were out there fighting… I waited. You knew that. Everyone knew that. I thought that when the war was over, we’d finally be together. That’s how it was supposed to be.”

He felt the weight of guilt but pushed it aside. “I know you waited, Ginny, and I’m grateful for that. But waiting for someone isn’t reason enough for us to be together. We’re not good for each other. Not now, maybe we never were.”

She widened her eyes, surprised and hurt. “How can you say that? We were perfect together at Hogwarts!”

Harry took a deep breath. “We were young, Ginny. I was lost, and you seemed like everything I needed. But looking back, I realize we hardly knew each other. Our relationship was based on idealizations, not who we really are. I know it’s painful to hear this, but you waited for an idea, Ginny,” Harry said carefully. “I was caught up in that idea too. I thought that because you waited, because we were good together at first, it meant it was right. But time passed. I changed. You changed. We both changed.”

Ginny seemed ready to protest, but he continued, determined. “You’ve become someone I don’t recognize. What you said about Luna, about the babies… I can’t ignore that, Ginny. I saw the hate in your eyes, and it scares me.”

“I was jealous, Harry!” she burst out, her eyes filling with tears. “Don’t you understand? I love you, and seeing you with her, with her kids… it’s like everything I waited for was taken from me. I’ve always loved you. I’d do anything for you.”

“Maybe that’s the problem,” Harry replied, the weight in his voice evident. “Ginny, loving someone doesn’t mean losing yourself for them. And… I don’t think the two of us, together, were healthy. All we did was fight. You blame me for Luna being pregnant, and guilt was the only thing holding our relationship together. I don’t give you what you need, because now I have other priorities. This isn’t fair to either of us.”

Ginny was silent for a long moment, her eyes fixed on the table. “Are you saying this is my fault?”

“No, Ginny,” Harry quickly replied. “I’m saying we’re not good for each other. Maybe we never were. And I’m sorry I didn’t see that before. That I let it come to this point.”

She shook her head, a tear silently rolling down her cheek. “I’ve become someone I hate, haven’t I? This jealousy, this anger… I don’t even know where it comes from. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. I always imagined being with you would be… easy. But it wasn’t.”

“Ginny,” he said softly but firmly, “I don’t know much about love, but I know it isn’t possession. It isn’t hate or jealousy. And what we have now… isn’t love. It’s toxic, for both of us. I don’t want to live like this, and you shouldn’t either… I imagined it would be different too. But maybe… maybe we were more in love with the idea of us than what we really were.”

“I loved you, Harry,” Ginny said, her voice finally breaking. “I still do. But you’re right. I don’t like who I’ve become. And… maybe you never loved me the same way.”

Harry lowered his head, feeling the weight of her words. “I don’t know if I was fair to you, Ginny. And for that, I’m sorry. Truly. You deserve someone who loves you completely, who sees you for who you are, not for the idea of what you represent. And I hope someday you find that.”

She was silent for a moment, looking at him with a mix of hurt and perhaps acceptance. “I never imagined we’d end like this, Harry.”

“Neither did I,” he replied sincerely.

They sat in silence, a silence heavier than any words. Finally, Ginny stood up. “I guess this is it, then. I’m not a villain, Harry. I just… I just didn’t know how to deal with all of this.”

“I know,” he replied, looking at her sincerely. “And I don’t think you are. That’s why I asked to talk to you. I respect you, and I never wanted to hurt you.”

Ginny slowly nodded.

“Thank you for coming, Ginny.”

She took a deep breath to calm herself. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

She hesitated for a moment as if she were going to say something else but changed her mind and left the pub, leaving Harry alone. He sat for a moment, staring at the empty table in front of him, feeling a weight slowly lift from his shoulders. It was painful but necessary. He sighed, feeling the strange combination of sadness and relief. Maybe, finally, they could both begin to heal.