Beyond Fear

The next day, they were ready to travel to the Three Broomsticks via Floo Powder. Luna was wearing Harry's Gryffindor sweater (large enough to cover her growing belly), black maternity leggings, and yellow boots. She looked very pregnant, Harry reflected, and she looked beautiful. When he saw her wearing his sweater, something stirred in his chest—something very possessive (and it wasn’t about the sweater). He wanted to wrap his arms around her, so he did, justifying it as helping her.

Harry had to admit, no matter how much he tried to avoid it, that his feelings about Luna—and consequently about Ginny—had changed. He had declined Ginny’s invitations because he didn’t know how to feel about her, especially after their last encounter and the conversation he had with Hermione. He didn’t like the version of Ginny who had been acting terribly since finding out about the pregnancy. He understood it was difficult, even though he hadn’t betrayed her, and that it might take time for her to adjust—but she never did. They argued constantly and then made up with fierce kisses. Maybe he had fallen for her because of those passionate moments, but now they repelled him.

A relationship shouldn’t be built only on intensity but also on calm. After the war, all Harry wanted was peace and quiet, and he found that with Luna.

His confusing feelings for Luna grew day by day, like a plant slowly but steadily taking root. He could talk to her about things he couldn’t share with anyone else, not even Ron and Hermione. He felt safe with her. He loved sleeping wrapped in her arms and adored her humor, her calm demeanor, and her soothing voice. Sometimes, he had an overwhelming urge to hug her or kiss her, which was unsettling because he had a girlfriend, and he would never betray her. Besides, Luna only saw him as a friend. She had said she loved him when she found out she was pregnant, but it was clearly as a friend. He had said the same to her.

So, as they stood before the fireplace, ready to travel to Hogsmeade, his apprehension was growing. He didn’t want to face Ginny, but he knew he needed to address their relationship.

“You can always use me as an excuse,” Luna said, as if reading his mind.

“What?”

“You’re feeling nervous. You can say you didn’t go before because I needed you or that you can’t leave me alone.”

Harry looked at Luna for a moment. “Thanks.” There was no point in lying to her; she’d know anyway.

Since Luna could walk short distances, they went through the Floo network separately. Harry went first, and when Luna emerged, he was waiting for her by the fireplace.

“Harry! Over here!” It was Ron, calling from a table in the corner.

He and Hermione were sitting alone, and the pub was still relatively empty; the students were likely wandering around the village.

They walked slowly to the table, as Luna couldn’t move too quickly. When they arrived, Hermione stood up to hug Harry while Ron gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“You’re huge already!” Hermione said to Luna, hugging her and gently touching her belly.

“Yes, it’s grown a lot. My back is crying for help,” Luna said, stroking her belly affectionately.

“Really, Luna, your belly has grown so much! Hermione said you were still on bed rest. It’s good to see you up and about,” Ron added, joining the conversation but refraining from touching her. Luna could handle being touched by Harry and briefly by Neville, but otherwise, male contact made her uncomfortable, even during her check-ups.

Harry sat next to Ron, and Luna took the seat beside him.

“Luna can walk short distances and stand for brief periods—it’s progress. And the babies are doing great,” Harry explained.

“Have you decided on names yet?” Hermione asked, curious.

Harry and Luna exchanged a warm smile, oblivious to the expressions Ron and Hermione made in response.

“Yes, we’ve decided,” Luna said in her dreamy tone.
“They’ll be James and Albus,” Harry concluded, waiting for his friends’ reactions.

They both smiled warmly, and Hermione’s eyes filled with tears.

“Those are beautiful names,” she said, holding Harry’s hand across the table.

“Great choice, mate,” Ron said with a grin. “Let’s celebrate!” He raised his hand to signal Madam Rosmerta to come over.

When she arrived at the table, the first thing she did was look at Luna.

“Luna, my dear, I didn’t know you were expecting!” she exclaimed, surprised. “You look beautiful—and so far along! When are they due?” She smiled kindly. Rosmerta had grown fond of Luna, who had spent so much time alone at the Three Broomsticks when others excluded her.

“They’re due in January—twins,” Luna replied kindly.

“Wow! Congratulations! I wish you a smooth delivery.” She tactfully didn’t ask who the father was. She took their orders (butterbeer for everyone and pumpkin juice for Luna) and left them alone at the table.

They talked for a while until Neville and Ginny arrived together and came over to the table. Everyone noticed how Ginny’s smile turned into a scowl when she saw Luna with them.

Neville tried to salvage the situation.

“Luna! Great to see you here!” he said with a broad smile. “Your belly is huge.”

“Everyone keeps saying that,” Luna replied, standing to give him a hug.

“And no one talks to me—I’m forgotten,” Harry joked.

“Hey, Harry! Glad you came, but we’re more interested in your babies,” Neville quipped, and Harry threw a bottle cap at him.

“Hi, Ginny,” Harry said, not standing to greet her.

Ginny noticed and stood there for a moment before sitting down with a sour expression.

“Hi, Harry! Hermione had to write to get you to show up,” she said accusingly.

“You know Hermione can be scary,” Ron tried to joke, but Ginny didn’t break her glare at Harry.

Luna placed her hand on Harry’s knee.

“Sorry, Ginny. It’s partly my fault—I haven’t been feeling great, and he was worried about leaving me alone,” Luna intervened, and Harry looked at her sharply. He had never seen Luna lie—or, in this case, exaggerate a situation. She was so transparent, but she was doing this for him.

Ginny shifted her icy gaze to Luna.

“Funny how you always seem to need Harry’s help,” she said, emphasizing the word "need" as though it wasn’t true.

Harry didn’t like the way she spoke to Luna, and his instincts screamed to protect her. As he opened his mouth to respond, Luna squeezed his knee again.

“Sorry, Ginny. I know you’ve missed him, and that’s why you’re upset. I’m getting better and won’t need as much help soon,” her voice was calm and kind, and Harry felt an overwhelming wave of affection. She was so pure, so gentle and compassionate.

Ginny blinked, surprised by Luna’s kindness. Neville seized the moment to speak.

“Did you decide on names yet?” he asked, more excited than normal.

“Yes, we have. James and Albus,” Harry said.

“That’s a great choice!” Neville said enthusiastically, though his eyes also showed understanding.

“We have something to tell you,” Harry continued, looking at Luna for approval.

“What is it?” Hermione asked.

“Well, we’d like you and Ron to be James’s godparents. Would you accept?” Harry asked, his heart racing. His friends were the best people to care for his child.

“Of course, YES!” Hermione nearly shouted, almost leaping over the table, making everyone laugh (well, almost everyone).

“Definitely, mate! Who else would teach him Quidditch?” Ron said happily.

“I’m so glad you agreed!” Harry said, grinning widely.

“Of course we would!” Hermione said practically. “But you said just James.” Trust Hermione to notice...

“That’s because we were hoping Neville would be Albus’s godfather,” Luna said, smiling at Neville.

Neville looked momentarily stunned, his mouth slightly open, eyes wide. He obviously hadn’t expected this.

“M-Me?” he stammered.

“Yes!” Luna said, smiling.

Neville looked like he might cry. “Of course! It would be an honor!” He took Luna’s hand across the table and squeezed it warmly.

“Well, since everyone’s so happy, I’m going to sit with Dean and Seamus,” Ginny said sourly, her voice like she’d bitten into a lemon.

“Don’t mind her, mate—you know how she is,” Ron said, patting Harry’s shoulder.

Surprisingly, Harry realized he didn’t mind. He looked at Hermione and saw her disapproving expression. Her eyes seemed to say, “Do you think this will change?”

Everyone went back to talking and enjoying themselves, but Harry kept thinking about Ginny and how their relationship couldn’t go on like this.

As it neared time to leave, Harry remembered his promise to Luna about sweets.

“I promised Luna I’d get her some sweets—she’s been having strange cravings lately,” he joked, nudging her shoulder.

“There’s nothing strange about dirigible plum ice cream—you liked it,” she said with a broad smile.

Neville, Harry, and Ron decided to go to Honeydukes, leaving Hermione to keep Luna company.

Luna was looking around the pub, observing who she recognized, when Hermione spoke.

“Ginny has been childish and disrespectful to you. I admire your patience.”

Luna looked at Hermione, wide-eyed. “I’m trying to understand her perspective—it can’t be easy for her.”

“True, but we’re adults now, and she’s acting like a spoiled child. I can see in Harry’s eyes that he’s already tired of it.”

"I wish she weren't so hard on Harry. After everything he's been through, he deserves peace. What she does to me, I don't care about."

Hermione stared at Luna for a few seconds. "Harry is lucky to have you."

"We're just friends," Luna said simply.

"But you'd like it to be more." Hermione's voice carried no judgment; she was merely stating a fact.

Luna looked at her friend in surprise. She thought she had been discreet about her feelings.

"Yes." Luna took a deep breath and then exhaled. It brought a small sense of relief to say it aloud.

"I'm not judging you. Merlin knows how hard it must be for you—being pregnant with his children, living in the same house, and never expressing your feelings."

"Yes. But I'm grateful for his friendship. That’s enough for me." At least she hoped it was, though from Hermione's look, it was clear she knew it wasn't entirely true.

"For what it's worth, I think Harry would be much better off with you. He needs love and peace, something Ginny will never be able to give him. She still adores him as the famous Harry Potter and has a terrible temper."

"Thank you, Hermione, but he only sees me as a friend and the mother of his children."

Hermione disagreed. She could see how Harry looked at Luna, how he spoke to her and about her. It was more than friendship; he was just too slow to realize it. She was about to say so to Luna, but Ron and Neville returned to the table.

"Where's Harry?" Hermione asked.

"Outside, talking to Ginny," Ron replied.

Harry knew he needed to talk to Ginny, but when he saw her walking toward him, he felt a momentary exasperation.

"Can we talk for a moment?" she asked.

"Sure," Harry replied. "You two go ahead without me," he told Neville and Ron. The latter looked at Harry with pity.

He and Ginny sat on the bench near the entrance of the Three Broomsticks and remained silent.

"Why are you ignoring me?" Ginny got straight to the point.

"I'm not ignoring you." He had, in fact, ignored her invitations and made no effort to spend time with her.

"Harry, you only came because Hermione asked. You haven’t made any effort to talk to me or kiss me, and you would have continued to avoid me if I hadn’t asked you to talk." She wasn’t wrong.

Harry looked at her for a moment. She was beautiful, no doubt, but he no longer saw her as he had before the war. It saddened him because, during so many nights in the war, all he had wanted was her, and now none of that remained.

"Ginny, I don’t like the way you’ve been acting, and I didn’t like what you did last time we saw each other. It was disrespectful to everyone, especially Luna, who was in my arms." He looked at her seriously, feeling a twinge of satisfaction when she blushed with embarrassment. "She’s pregnant with my children, and nothing will change that. When will you accept it?"

Ginny was taken aback by the seriousness of Harry's words.

"I accept it, Harry."

"No, you don’t. And it makes me think it’s better for us to remain just friends."

"I know I’ve acted poorly, but I’ll improve, I promise!" She sounded a bit desperate, realizing how resolute Harry was.

"I think we’ve been through this before, and nothing has changed, Ginny. I’m tired of it all. This relationship isn’t good for either of us."

"This time, I’ll change. Please give me another chance."

Harry hated seeing her beg. She was a beautiful, intelligent woman; it wasn’t right for her to seem so desperate. He pitied her. Once again, guilt caught up with him.

Was he the one doing this to her?

Was he diminishing her and making her feel like she was worth less than she was?

Was it his fault that she had become possessive and cruel?

"Are you sure?" Harry asked weakly, unsure if he could trust her.

"Yes!" She grabbed his hand. "It was so good when we were together at Hogwarts; we can have that again, I promise."

Everything inside him screamed that he should just end things with her, but guilt always won the fight within him. "Alright." She smiled broadly and hugged him. He felt slightly nauseous.

"I have to go back now; it’s time to leave." He kissed her cheek and stood up, knowing she wanted to kiss him, but he didn’t know if he wanted to.

"I’ll go with you," she said, holding his hand.

He remembered how he had felt the first time they held hands. His heart had raced. Now it felt as though her hand didn’t quite fit.

They entered the pub and headed straight to their friends.

Everyone looked at them as they approached, but he avoided Hermione's gaze. For some reason, he felt ashamed.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked Luna.

"Yes." Her lips curved into a small smile.

"We’re heading out then, everyone. We’ll try to come back another weekend." He used "we" for himself and Luna because he wanted her to come with him.

Everyone said their goodbyes, and Harry noticed Hermione hugged Luna longer than usual while giving him only a brief kiss on the cheek.

Ginny hugged him and kissed him on the lips, then went over to Luna and hugged her. Harry saw Hermione raise an eyebrow but pretended not to notice.

He escorted Luna through the Floo in silence.

"Shall we watch a movie?" Harry asked as soon as they were back home. "And here are your sweets!" He handed Luna a bag.

"Sure, but I need to lie down. My back is already starting to ache." She sat on the couch and made a motion to remove her boots.

"Let me do it." Harry knelt in front of her and removed her boots.

"Thank you, you're very kind." She smiled at him. "But that won't make me share my sweets with you."

Harry laughed. "Not even a chocolate frog?" he raised an eyebrow.

"I’m eating for three! Did you buy four of everything?" She smiled broadly.

"Sorry, ma’am, I won’t make that mistake again." Harry placed a hand over his heart.

Luna smiled but then grew serious. "Are you okay, Harry?"

"I’m fine." He answered automatically, but she kept looking at him, as if she knew it was a lie.

He took a deep breath, got up from his kneeling position, and sat on the rug in front of her.

"I don’t know. I’m so confused." He ran a hand through his hair. Luna remained silent. "I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing with Ginny. I’m so tired of feeling guilty."

"Guilt is never a good reason to stay in a relationship," she said softly.

"That’s the same thing Hermione said." His voice was weary. "But when I’m in front of her, I cave."

Luna remained silent, letting him finish speaking.

"She said she’d change this time." He looked at her like a lost child.

Luna didn’t want to say she thought Ginny wouldn’t change. She tried not to let her feelings influence the conversation.

"Everyone can change."

"Yes! Everyone can." His voice lacked conviction.

After that, Harry chose a movie while Luna lay on the couch. He sat down and placed her feet on his lap, beginning to massage them. As the movie started, Harry reflected on how he had grown up as someone who didn’t receive much physical affection, and therefore didn’t give it either. But since moving in with Luna, that had changed. He would stroke her hair or her feet while they watched movies, place his hand on her belly whenever the babies moved, and every morning, he woke up cuddling her. It had all happened so naturally that he hardly noticed when he was touching her. Luna seemed to do the same with him, persuading him to lay his head in her lap or cuddling up to him in bed. It was strange how they shared touches in such a natural, carefree way. He was amazed, because despite his confusion of feelings, none of these touches carried ulterior motives. They were friendly and gentle touches—not common between friends, perhaps, but devoid of malice.