Beyond Fear

The weekend had passed in a blur. Harry and Luna spent Saturday practicing spells and Transfiguration, sitting in the garden enjoying the late summer breeze, watching movies, cooking (well, Harry cooked while Luna read the recipe instructions), and talking about the babies and the future.  

Now, Harry and Luna were standing in front of the fireplace, ready to head to the Burrow.  

Harry was dressed in jeans and a black sweater, while Luna wore a flowing blue dress that reached her knees and had a V-neckline, highlighting the curve of her chest. Over the dress, she wore a white cardigan with blue flowers.  

Harry held her carefully to avoid exposing her underwear, which he knew was pink since he had helped her pick it out an hour earlier. They stepped into the fireplace, and moments later, they were at the Burrow.  

When Harry stepped out of the fireplace with Luna in his arms, he noticed that the room was full and everyone had stopped to watch them.  

“Oh, hello, everyone!” Luna said dreamily.  

“Good evening,” Harry greeted.  

“You can sit Luna here, Harry,” Hermione said, making space for Luna on the couch beside her.  

Harry set Luna down on the couch and immediately asked if she was comfortable and if she wanted something to drink, as everyone else was holding butterbeers or Firewhisky. She asked for pumpkin juice, and he immediately went to fetch it before stopping to talk to anyone.  

Only after handing her the glass and ensuring she was alright did he allow himself to interact with others. Ginny, who was discussing Quidditch with Ron and George, seemed irritated. Harry walked over to them.  

“A glass of Firewhisky, Harry?” George offered.  

“No, thanks. I’m with Luna; better not,” he said, not wanting to risk getting drunk and endangering her by falling on the stairs while carrying her to bed.  

“Of course you are,” Ginny said bitterly. Harry frowned at the venom in her voice. He had written her a letter apologizing for leaving dinner early but wasn’t sure how she would behave tonight.  

At that moment, he heard Fleur talking to Luna.  

“Luna, you look beautiful! That dress is lovely and shows off your belly so well. You’re one of the most beautiful pregnant women I’ve ever seen.”  

Harry silently agreed—Luna was stunning. But she was also beautiful when she woke up with messy hair and wrinkled pajamas.  

“Thank you, Fleur,” Luna replied kindly, her cheeks turning pink. “Harry gave me this dress,” she added, looking at him and smiling shyly.  

“Aww, how sweet, ‘Arry,” Fleur said, smiling at Harry, who turned red.  

“Hermione helped me pick it out,” he said to ease his embarrassment.  

Ginny, her face red, grabbed Harry’s hand. “Come!” She pulled him upstairs. Harry was surprised by how brusquely she tugged him, leaving him no choice but to follow. Once they reached the landing, she pushed him against the wall and began kissing him aggressively. Harry froze, not reciprocating.  

“Ginny, what’s this?” he asked as he held her shoulders and pushed her away.  

“You’re mine, Harry! You’re my boyfriend,” she declared before kissing him again.  

Harry didn’t like how she said it, as if he were her possession. He pushed her away again.  

“Ginny, your whole family is downstairs. I’m not doing this here.”  

Her face was a mixture of anger and hurt. “Say you’re mine! My boyfriend,” she demanded.  

Harry frowned. “I am your boyfriend, Ginny, but I don’t like how you’re saying it,” he said, confused.  

“Well, I don’t like seeing my boyfriend arriving with another woman in his arms, treating her like a priority, not even looking at me, or giving new clothes to another woman when you’ve never even come close to giving me anything,” she spat angrily.  

He took a deep breath, trying to control his temper.  

“Ginny, this is your farewell party. Let’s not fight again, please,” he said, holding her hand. Then he leaned in and gave her a light kiss on the lips. “Luna is unwell and couldn’t go out to buy clothes. Hers no longer fit because of her belly, so Hermione helped me pick out a few,” he explained, gently caressing her face, but her scowl didn’t change.  

“Let’s go back downstairs.”  

He led her back to the living room, and she followed, still fuming. When they arrived, everyone was heading to the kitchen except George, who was standing beside Luna.  

"I offered to take her, but she preferred to wait for you."  

Harry looked at Luna and saw that she seemed a little embarrassed and uncomfortable.  

He was supposed to be taking care of her, but he couldn’t understand why she had refused George’s help.  

"Alright, I can take her," Harry said, moving toward them, only to be stopped by Ginny, who continued holding his hand tightly.  

"George can take her. Luna sees that you're with me now," she said firmly, staring at Luna.  

Harry saw Luna lower her eyes for a moment and hated how ashamed she seemed. Then, in a flash, he realized what was happening. She didn’t feel comfortable being touched by George. The only men who had touched her after the Manor were Harry and Neville.  

Harry pulled his hand free from Ginny’s grip and, in a few quick steps, was by Luna’s side.  

“Thank you, George. I’ll take her,” Harry said.  

He saw Luna’s body relax as he got closer to her.  

He bent down to pick her up and whispered in her ear, “I’m here, Lu. You’re safe.”  

She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, nodding.  

Harry saw Ginny stomp off angrily, but there was nothing he could do for her at the moment.  

George headed to the kitchen, and Harry waited until he was gone.  

“Are you alright?” he asked softly, holding her in his arms.  

Luna looked at him with sad eyes.  

“Sorry, Harry. I... I couldn’t,” she said, lowering her head.  

“Look at me, Lu.” She lifted her eyes to meet his. “You have nothing to apologize for. You have every right to decide who can or can’t touch you, and you shouldn’t feel ashamed about that. Your body, your rules.”  

She gazed at him for a moment, then snuggled into him, resting her head on his shoulder.  

“Thank you.”  

He kissed the top of her head. “Are you ready to go to dinner now?”  

“Yes,” she said, smiling, and Harry’s heart softened.  

Harry seated Luna next to Fleur and sat beside her, with Ginny on his right. Ginny monopolized his attention, talking about Quidditch and preventing him from engaging with anyone else. During dinner, however, he helped Luna serve herself, and as they ate, the two unconsciously shared bites and swapped food from their plates, a habit from eating all their meals together for the past month. They didn’t notice Ginny’s angry glances or Hermione’s knowing look.  

Ginny spent the entire meal redirecting Harry’s attention and even answering questions directed at him. Harry didn’t know how to handle it without causing a scene, so he withdrew.  

“Harry, will you be at King’s Cross to say goodbye to us?” Ron asked, trying to involve him in a conversation during dessert.  

“Of course, he will,” Ginny answered for him again.  

“No, actually, I won’t,” Harry said, feeling a bit awkward. “Luna has her appointment tomorrow. The healers will check on the placenta and determine if she still needs bed rest.”  

“Hopefully she won’t,” Ginny said, but her tone was more bitter than kind.  

“Thank you, Ginny,” Luna replied with a smile, ignoring the tone.  

Ron nodded in agreement, and Hermione looked at Harry with teary eyes. “It’ll be strange without you there,” she said.  

“True,” Ron agreed.  

“I know it’s strange not to go with you, but I’m sure of my decision,” Harry said firmly.  

“If Luna doesn’t need bed rest, you’d be free to come later via Floo,” Ginny insisted.

Out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw Luna's dreamy smile fade, and her eyes focused on her pudding, though she didn’t eat. He realized she was blaming herself for him not going. Immediately, he reached under the table and squeezed her hand.

“We’ve already talked about this, Ginny. I’m not staying just because Luna is unwell—though wanting to be near my children is part of my decision—but because I’m not ready to go back. Besides, I’ve been studying with Luna every day.”

Ginny rolled her eyes and went back to her dessert, leaving everyone feeling slightly awkward about her attitude toward Luna. It was obvious she was implying that Luna was the obstacle.

Now that he’d brought up the subject, Harry realized that tomorrow they would go to the healer, and Luna might be completely better and no longer need help. That would be great, of course—it would mean she was healthy, and, more importantly, the babies were. But the idea of Luna not needing help anymore also meant she wouldn’t need him, and that thought left a knot in his stomach.

Where would he go? Back to The Burrow? That didn’t make sense without his friends there. That left Grimmauld Place, a gloomy house filled with painful memories.

Harry felt guilty for thinking this way when he should be happy that the babies would be safe and healthy. But the feeling of loss was too overwhelming to ignore. He felt at home here, and there were few, if any, places in the world where he felt that way anymore. Leaving it behind would hurt deeply.

“Harry,” Ginny’s voice broke through his thoughts. “Let’s sit outside for a bit.”

Harry looked at Luna, knowing he’d promised they’d only stay for dinner, but she looked at him and whispered, “It’s okay.” Even so, he felt torn.

“Alright,” he repeated to Ginny what Luna had just told him. But nothing felt okay; the recent revelation about possibly leaving Luna and finding another place to live was clouding his thoughts, even as he followed Ginny to the yard.

When they sat on a bench, Ginny leaned against him. “I’m going to miss you. Will you come to Hogsmeade on the weekend to see me?” she repeated a question she’d already asked before.

“I’ll try,” he said without much conviction.

“Why don’t you sound like you mean it?” she asked.

“I’m sorry, Ginny. The truth is that right now, Luna is my priority, and I can’t leave her alone.” He was as honest as he could be.

“How much longer will I have to hear that?” She sounded frustrated.

“I don’t know, but for a long time, especially after the babies are born.”

She looked completely upset.

“Ginny, I understand that this isn’t ideal. You deserve a boyfriend who’s more focused on you, so I’d understand if you wanted to end things between us.” He meant it—he would understand. Honestly, he’d even feel relieved.

Ginny glared at him. “Not this again! Of course not, Harry! I’ve waited years to be your girlfriend.”

He felt uneasy, remembering how she’d always been in love with Harry Potter. Was she still in love with that Harry? Or had she chosen him—just Harry?

“Alright, Gin,” he relented once more, though every time he did, he felt smaller.

When Ginny kissed him, he wasn’t entirely present. He kissed her back out of muscle memory, but his mind was still on the possibility of having to leave Luna’s house.

After a few kisses, Harry decided it was time to go. If Ginny noticed his lack of enthusiasm, she didn’t say anything. When he got up to leave, she tried to protest, but she knew Harry rarely changed his mind once he’d decided something.

When they entered The Burrow, Harry found Luna still seated at the kitchen table, chatting with Hermione and Fleur.

“Can we go?” he asked Luna.

“Yes, if you’d like.”

When Harry lifted Luna from her chair and cradled her in his arms, he noticed her wincing.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned.

“Just a backache,” she said as if it were nothing.

“I’ll give you a massage when we get home,” he said, so focused on her that he forgot Fleur, Hermione, and Ginny were watching their interaction.

“That’s so sweet, ‘Arry,” Fleur said with a bright smile.

Only then did Harry look around. Hermione was staring at him with a knowing smile, as if she had a secret. He wasn’t sure he wanted to ask what it was.

Ginny, on the other hand, wore a stony expression. Then she did something Harry would never have expected. She walked up to them, grabbed Harry’s face, and started kissing him, pressing Luna between them as if she weren’t even there.

“Goodnight, Harry,” she said as she pulled away and left.

Harry was stunned, and he could see that everyone in the kitchen felt the same, especially Luna, whose face was redder than he’d ever seen it. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to say something, but nothing came out—he was mortified.

To Harry’s surprise, it was Hermione who spoke. “That was a very clear attempt at marking territory,” she said, not hiding her irritation.

“If that was the purpose, she didn’t need to do it. Everyone knows Harry is hers,” Luna said softly, though she was still very red.

“Can we go, Harry?” she said after the room fell silent.

“Yes…” he was still embarrassed, especially after Hermione’s words. However, what he felt upon hearing Luna say she knew Harry belonged to Ginny left a bitter taste in his mouth. He did belong to her, didn’t he? He didn’t like how that sounded.

Why did Ginny have to do that? She was being petty and childish, and it wasn’t the first time…

Harry couldn’t even bring himself to say goodbye to the others; he just entered the Floo Network and went home.

Home… He already thought of The Rookery as home, and tomorrow he’d probably have to say goodbye. A painful tightness filled his chest.

When they stepped through the fireplace, Harry carried Luna upstairs and settled her in her room.

Before leaving to let her change and to put on his own pajamas, he stopped at the door.

“I’m sorry, Luna. I didn’t know she would do that.”

Luna didn’t meet his eyes. “It’s okay; it was nothing.”

Harry was overwhelmed by too many emotions, so he decided not to argue. He just left the room.

When he returned to Luna’s room, she had already changed and was sitting on the bed. Harry was so preoccupied with Ginny’s behavior and the possibility of leaving that he said nothing during the massage. When he finished, he returned to his own room instead of lying with Luna.

Luna knew something was wrong with Harry. She knew him well enough to recognize that this silence meant a storm was brewing. She got up and calmly walked to his room. He was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

Harry was so deep in thought that he didn’t realize Luna was there until she lay beside him. Harry waited for her to speak, but as always, she showed how well she knew him. She just stayed there, lying silently and patiently.

After what felt like hours, Harry convinced himself that it would be better to talk to Luna. Dwelling on it alone wouldn’t help. It was better to hear from her directly that he should leave, so he’d know what to expect.

“What happens if the healer says you don’t need bed rest anymore?” He kept staring at the ceiling, but he felt Luna turn her head to look at him.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t get me wrong—I want you to get better, and I want the babies to be safe. It’s just…what happens next?” He hoped Luna would understand.

“What do you want to happen?” Luna’s voice never lost its distant, dreamy tone, and it calmed Harry. It made him feel like he could share his feelings without being judged.

“I like living here. I like cooking our meals, studying together, and watching movies.”

“I like that too.”

They fell silent, and just when Harry thought he might have said too much, Luna spoke again.

"I don't want you to leave, Harry. So you can stay here as long as you want."  

Luna held his hand and squeezed it. He felt a wave of relief and released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.  

All Harry wanted was to stay, and that desire was so strong it scared him. It scared him a lot. But he decided he wouldn’t stop to analyze it now. Honestly, he knew there were many feelings swept under the rug, but he couldn’t summon the courage to face them. It felt like all his bravery had been drained during the war.  

"Would you like some tea?" he asked Luna, wanting to steer his thoughts elsewhere.  

"Yes, thank you."  

Harry took Luna to her room and went downstairs to prepare the tea. He was in the kitchen when he heard the sound of the Floo.  

"Harry?" came Hermione’s voice from the living room.  

"Hermione? What are you doing here?" he asked, surprised.  

"We need to talk, Harry."  

He sighed, knowing exactly what she wanted to discuss. Hermione stood in the middle of the room, looking around before sitting on the sofa.  

"What happened today was unacceptable, Harry." Hermione crossed her arms, her gaze fixed on him.  

"Ginny acted as though she had some sort of claim over you."  

Harry didn’t respond but sat in an armchair across from her, avoiding her gaze.  

"This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this, but today was worse. She didn’t let you speak to anyone all evening, spoke for you every time someone tried to include you in a conversation, and I won’t even mention what she did at the end." Hermione leaned forward, trying to meet his eyes.  

"Hermione..." Harry started, but she raised a hand to stop him.  

"Let me finish. Ever since you two decided to get back together, all I’ve seen are arguments. The things she’s said about Luna and the babies… they were cruel. Unjustifiable."  

Harry closed his eyes, feeling an overwhelming weight in his chest. He knew exactly what Hermione was referring to.  

"I know," he murmured, finally meeting her gaze. "It’s not perfect. We argue, yes, but Ginny waited for me..." He tried to justify, though he didn’t fully believe it himself.  

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "Is that what she’s told you?"  

Harry didn’t answer, feeling embarrassed.  

"I remember you breaking up with her and never asking her to wait."  

"But we kissed on my birthday," he tried again, not sure why.  

"And that’s a reason to maintain a relationship that clearly isn’t working? Waiting for someone isn’t a contract. It’s not a reason for you to feel obligated to stay with her. She’s using that to make you feel guilty and stay."  

Harry ran a hand through his messy hair, his face a swirl of emotions.  

"It’s not just that, Hermione." Harry looked at the floor, using all the arguments he’d rehearsed in his head, but now they felt so fragile. "I was in love with her."  

Hermione leaned closer, softening her tone.  

"Harry, you are so much more than who you were before the war. We’ve all changed. You said you were in love with her. Are you still?" Hermione clearly knew the answer but wanted him to admit it.  

It was hard to say it out loud.  

"No." The confession came with raw honesty. He felt relief in admitting it. "But… I got another woman pregnant, and now I’m living with her. That’s painful for Ginny, and it’s my fault." Harry continued, exposing the turmoil in his mind.  

Hermione took a deep breath before continuing.  

"Harry, I know you blame yourself for so many things. For the war, for the deaths, for all of us losing our youth. You carry a weight that isn’t solely yours. But this..." She pointed to him, trying to reach his heart. "This isn’t supposed to be a punishment. You don’t need to stay in a toxic relationship to atone for guilt you feel. You did what you had to for a friend, and you shouldn’t punish yourself for it, especially when the result brought you the most precious things in your life: your children."  

Harry ran a hand over his face. This conversation was so hard, but something inside him told him he needed to hear it.  

"It’s not that simple, Hermione," he responded in a low voice.  

"Maybe not," she agreed. "But you need to realize that you deserve more. You deserve a relationship with someone who accepts you completely, with all your pain and fears, someone who makes you feel safe and at peace. Not a relationship with someone who spent her childhood idealizing Harry Potter and now makes you feel like you’re constantly failing."  

He stayed silent, reflecting. Did he really deserve that? Could a relationship like that exist for him? Or was he destined for relationships where he was mistreated, humiliated, and always carried guilt? It seemed impossible that he could have something different.  

"Harry, I want you to make this decision for yourself, because you deserve better," she said, her voice full of determination. "But you also need to think about your children. Will she change her mind when the babies are born?" Hermione asked gently. "Or will she always reject them? Will she always see fatherhood as a threat?"  

Harry didn’t respond. He knew the truth, even if he didn’t want to admit it. He had fallen for someone he thought would never reject two innocent children, but now he was in a relationship with someone who would. He felt deceived, as though he was losing something that had never truly existed.  

Even so, Harry looked at her, his eyes filled with doubt.  

"And Ginny? Doesn’t she deserve better too?"  

Hermione nodded.  

"Yes, she does deserve better. But that’s not your responsibility, Harry. She needs to make that journey on her own, and you need to make yours."  

For a moment, silence filled the room. Harry felt her words settle in the back of his mind, where they would grow and transform his doubts into something clearer.  

"Thank you, Hermione," he finally said, with sincerity.  

She gave him a gentle smile and stood to leave.  

"I’m always here for you, Harry. Just think about what I said."  

Harry hugged his childhood friend and watched her disappear through the Floo. He stood there for a moment, his thoughts swirling as the weight of what Hermione had said began to shape his uncertainties into something closer to understanding.