Beyond Fear

After lunch, Harry sat with Luna in the living room, and the two began studying together. It wasn’t difficult since they were reviewing first-year subjects.

At one point, Harry observed Luna focused on the book. She wrinkled her nose slightly in concentration, and he found it adorable. She looked so serene, sitting on the couch with her legs stretched out, her dress revealing her round belly, and her eyes intent on the book while her hair cascaded over her shoulder. She was truly beautiful, he thought.

How had he not noticed this at Hogwarts?

You were focused on Cho and then Ginny. His brain answered.

He returned to his book after that, and they only stopped when they finished. Harry brought tea for both of them and sat on the other end of the couch. Luna stretched her folded legs and placed her feet on Harry's lap. He was lost in thought, so he reached out with his free hand and began stroking her ankle. Luna simply watched him—the outline of his face was strong, his nose thin, and his lips full and red. His glasses now rested on the tip of his nose, and his eyes were unfocused yet still shone with that magnificent green. Luna loved his eyes. He blinked a few times, then snapped out of his thoughts.

“You know what would be cool, Luna? If we had a television to watch movies.”

“Television is that thing Muggles made to show images?” Luna asked, trying to recall her Muggle Studies lessons.

“Yes!” He smiled. “Movies are moving images, but they always tell stories.” He thought perhaps this wasn’t the best explanation.

“How do we get one?” She was curious now.

“Well, we could buy one in Muggle London, but it needs electricity to work, and we don’t have that here.” The disappointment in his voice was evident.

Luna thought for a moment. “What if we created a small energy field that could power the television?”

“That would be amazing! But how would we do that?” Harry was uncertain, though he thought the idea was great, even if he didn’t know if they could create such a field.

“We can check my mum’s books that we managed to rescue from the wreckage.”

It didn’t take long for her to summon the books, and the two began researching. The books were old and contained spells Harry had never dreamed existed. They were incredible. They got so excited that they had sandwiches for dinner and only stopped when it was time to sleep. They hadn’t found anything helpful yet but planned to continue tomorrow.

In the middle of the night, Harry woke up startled, having had a terrible nightmare about Sirius, but that wasn’t what woke him. He could hear the sound of crying coming from the next room. Instinctively, he got up, grabbed his wand, and didn’t bother putting on a shirt.

When he reached Luna’s room, he saw her thrashing in her bed.

“No, please! Please stop!” she was whimpering.

Harry silently entered her room and sat on the edge of her bed. “Luna…” His voice was gentle, trying not to startle her. She stopped whimpering but didn’t open her eyes. “Luna… wake up, you’re having a nightmare. It’s me, Harry.” He kept his voice low.

She opened her eyes, and in the dark, they looked even larger. There was fear in them. “Harry?” her voice was shaky and scared. “It’s me.” He took her hand. “You’re safe.”

She nodded. “Do you want to go back to sleep now?” Harry asked.

“Y-Yes.”

He tried to pull his hand away to leave the room, but she held on tightly. “Do you want me to stay?” He remembered the other times she asked him to stay.

“I do.”

He lay down facing her, only then realizing he wasn’t wearing a shirt. He was grateful for the darkness. She kept her gaze on him, so he maintained eye contact while squeezing her hand in his and brushing her hair back with the other, gently stroking her hair. Luna didn’t take long to fall asleep after that. Harry spent some time thinking about his own nightmares and how exhausting it was to have them every day. Luna must have been exhausted too.

When he woke up the next morning, Luna had her head on his chest and a leg draped over him. At first, he was confused, unsure of where he was, but the scent of strawberries filled his senses, and he remembered he was in Luna’s bed. He could feel her body pressed against his, her hair spread across his chest and arms. He had never felt so at peace as he did in that moment.

As if sensing he was awake, she shifted slightly and opened her eyes. Harry wasn’t sure how she would react—after all, you never know what to expect from Luna. She looked at him, and then a lazy smile formed on her rosy lips, and Harry was mesmerized by her. She looked like an angel, all pale skin and blonde hair. When she spoke, it was with her usual soft voice.

“Looks like you’re my official nightmare chaser.”

Harry smiled back at her. “I’m honored by that title,” he joked. Then, as an afterthought: “You seem to chase mine away too.” Her smile widened, and it was as if the sun lit up her face, illuminating everything. Perfect.

Harry became aware that he wasn’t wearing a shirt and only then noticed she was in just a T-shirt and underwear. Her belly was partially on him, and the entire situation felt so intimate, so wonderfully right. It scared him to his core, so he did the most sensible thing: he fled.

Harry mumbled something like, “I need to make breakfast,” and left the room before Luna could realize what was happening.

That morning, after enduring his favorite torture (Luna’s shower—not that he would admit it), they sat in the living room for breakfast while reading spell books. Both were excited about the idea of having a television at home, even though Luna didn’t fully understand what it was.

Despite his excitement, Harry’s mind kept drifting back to the moment they were lying in bed. That had been wonderful in so many ways. Harry had never been someone who received much friendly affection and had never slept with anyone, except for Luna, and if he thought about it, they had now slept together several times. What scared him was the lack of awkwardness in being in that position. Luna seemed perfectly fine with it, and Harry himself didn’t feel embarrassed. It felt so right; her body seemed to fit his perfectly, including her belly.

Harry decided this happened because they had been through so much together—after all, they were having two babies together; that was intimacy. Luna had even said she loved him, and he had said the same to her, though he avoided wondering if she meant it just platonically. Harry remembered when he said he loved her—it had been in a friendly way, but there was a feeling that it could be more. Up until that moment, he hadn’t thought about it and decided that now wasn’t the best time for more confusing reflections.

Luna noticed Harry was distracted. “Is everything okay, Harry? You seem distracted.” She gave him a questioning look, as if trying to read the answer.

“Everything’s fine, just lost in some thoughts.” There was no point in lying to Luna, but he also wasn’t willing to share the reason. “Did you find anything?”

“Actually, I’ve been thinking… What if we used the same principle we use to enchant flames? That spell can conjure flames that are encased in a protective bubble. That bubble could contain the energy for the television.”

“Luna! That’s brilliant!” Harry was genuinely impressed with her—it reminded him why she was a Ravenclaw.

“We’d have to figure out how to make the bubble more resistant, since the energy’s force is greater than that of fire.” She returned to her book as if she had just said the most obvious thing in the world.

Harry went back to his book and this time tried, really, to find something that could help.

Throughout the day, they alternated between looking for solutions for using the television and following Hermione’s study schedule.

In the afternoon, Harry received a letter from Ginny, asking when they could see each other again. Harry knew he’d eventually have to go meet her since, for some unknown reason, he didn’t feel comfortable having a date with Ginny at Luna’s house. However, Harry still wasn’t willing to leave Luna alone.
He felt so at peace, with no arguments on the horizon, that the idea of going to the Burrow made him anxious. He also felt empty at the prospect of having nothing to talk about and spending the night receiving frantic kisses that no longer seemed to hide all the conflicted feelings about his relationship with Ginny. So, he simply replied that he would see what date worked best and let her know.

“I’m already tired of reading so much,” Harry grumbled, setting the book aside after dinner.

Luna looked up from her book and at Harry. “Me too.” Then she looked out the window and sighed.

“What is it?” Harry asked, noticing her gaze directed toward the window.

“It’s summer, and the nights are so beautiful, with the sky full of stars. I used to lie down and just watch. Now I sit on this couch all day.” Despite the melancholy in her voice, there was no tone of complaint; she was just stating facts.

Harry looked out the window and saw the starry sky outside. He stood up, went upstairs without saying anything, and a few minutes later returned to the living room.

“Let’s go.” He bent down and picked Luna up in his arms.

“Harry! What are you doing?” Luna seemed surprised.

“Let’s go stargazing,” he said with a smile.

Harry carried her out of the house and stopped only when they were on the lawn of a small hill beyond the garden. He set Luna down on the grass and then took out the blanket he had shrunken. After enlarging and spreading it on the grass, he settled Luna on it and lay down beside her. They remained silent, just watching the stars. It was a full moon night, and it shone large in the sky.

“Harry…” Luna intertwined her fingers with Harry’s. “Thank you.” Her voice was as serene as always, but there was a tone of emotion.

“There’s no need to thank me,” Harry said softly, continuing to hold her hand.

After what felt like hours, Luna spoke again. Her voice was low and gentle, as if she didn’t want to break the fullness of the moment.

“I used to do this with my mum. She loved just going out, lying here, and watching. She seemed otherworldly, with her blonde hair and shining eyes. I wished to be like her, so fiercely free.” Harry looked at Luna as she spoke and saw a gentle smile on her lips. This was a precious memory for her.

“When I was in the Manor, I looked at the dark ceiling and imagined I was seeing the stars. Sometimes, I could swear I felt the wind on my face and the stars shining. It was how I found peace, even in that dark hole.”

Harry gripped her hand tighter and felt a lump in his throat. He wished, for the thousandth time, that he could have rescued her sooner. He looked at her, and she did seem otherworldly, like her mother. Her hair glowed in the moonlight, her eyes reflected all the stars, and even her skin seemed to shine. She was breathtaking.

He decided to tell her so.

“Luna… I think you got what you wished for. I’m looking at you now, and I think you look otherworldly, reflecting all the moon’s glow. And besides, one of the first things I thought about you when I met you is that you were a free spirit, and I wanted to be like you.”

Now she turned her gaze from the sky and was staring into Harry’s green eyes. Both felt their hearts race at that moment but kept this feeling to themselves. Luna broke into a wide smile, and Harry returned it. For a while, they stayed there, smiling at each other before turning back to the stars, never letting go of each other’s hands.

That night, neither of them had nightmares. Both dreamed of holding hands, a starry sky, and bright smiles.