Beyond Fear

Harry watched Luna walking along the distant shore of Shell Cottage, her hair blowing in the wind and her summer dress, borrowed from Fleur, fluttering around her. He was leaving to raid Gringotts, and his heart felt a little heavy at leaving her... at leaving them.

Harry knew the consequences when he chose not to withdraw from her, yet he still felt a whirlwind of emotions he'd never experienced before when she told him she was pregnant. After hugging her and promising to always be there for her, he walked down the beach to, at last, have an almost panic attack. He was in the middle of a war with little hope of surviving it.

How could he leave his child (or daughter) alone? Would they grow up without a father like he did?

His thoughts were a chaotic mix of fear and euphoria. He knew he wanted a family, wanted to be a father, and the thought of having a child filled him with an exhilarating warmth. But this wasn’t the situation he had dreamed of. He and Luna were just friends, and there was Ginny.

My God, Ginny!

What would she do when she found out? What would he do?

He was in love with her and had spent the last few months dreaming of her, imagining their red-haired children, and now he was going to have a blonde baby with silver eyes. He felt like he had betrayed her, even though they had broken up. But he knew she was waiting for him. If he survived Voldemort, he would definitely have a mess to deal with. He loved Luna as a friend and wouldn’t marry her just because she was pregnant. But what would it be like to have his child in his life? Would she marry someone else, and his baby call another man "Dad"? The thought made Harry want to vomit, but he also thought of Ginny's beautiful smile. No, he would have to find a way to balance this.

Harry decided to push aside the confusion for later... if there was a later. For now, he needed to focus on what he had to do.

At that moment, he felt Ron and Hermione approach. They followed Harry’s line of sight. To his surprise, it was Ron who spoke, with a sadness Harry had rarely heard in his voice.
“I don’t even want to imagine the horrors she went through in that place. She doesn’t seem like Luna anymore.” Harry could only agree. He hadn’t told anyone what had happened, but from how careful Hermione and Fleur were being with her, he guessed they knew—whether because Luna had told them or by some feminine instinct.

“Of all people, her constant calm amidst the madness made me believe she would never break, but they managed to break her, and I wish I could get my hands on them and do even worse than what they did to her.” There was hatred in Ron’s voice. After Luna saved his and Ginny’s lives at the Ministry, Ron had made an effort to treat her with respect and stop calling her "Loony," as he used to.

“She’ll heal,” Harry tried to convince himself. He had seen the spark in her eyes when she said she was pregnant. It would be a long road for her, but he prayed to every deity that she could cross this sea of darkness.

“If I get my hands on Draco Malfoy, he’ll wish he’d never been born. I want him dead more than I want Voldemort dead.” His voice was filled with hatred, more than ever before, and Harry realized it shocked his friends. But he wouldn’t take it back.

Hermione placed a hand on his shoulder.

“We need to go now.”

And so, they headed into the chaos, as they had been doing for six years.

Everything passed in a blur for Harry: Gringotts, the dragon, Hogsmeade. Now he was standing in front of the portrait hole, looking into the Room of Requirement, full of students who seemed to be sleeping there. All of them were staring back at him in shock.

A minute later, the applause began, and everyone seemed hopeful at seeing him. It made his stomach twist. His presence would bring more trouble than hope to them.
Neville began guiding them through the room, and when the applause finally ended, what felt like an eternity later, a loud voice broke through the crowd.

“Harry?”

And moments later, he was being crushed in Ginny’s arms. Harry returned the embrace tightly, but before he could distinguish what he was feeling at having her in his arms again, the portrait hole opened, and some people started coming in: Remus, Tonks, all the Weasleys, and to his horror—Luna.

“Luna.” He whispered in disbelief, still holding Ginny.

Immediately, she stiffened. That was the first thing he said since arriving.

“Luna? What about her?” Ginny asked, confused.

He released her without answering or explaining and began walking quickly toward the newcomers, who seemed happy to be there.

“Luna, what are you doing here?” Harry’s voice was louder and harsher than he intended, and slowly, silence filled the room, but Harry only had eyes for her, focused on the dread building inside him at her presence.

Luna looked at him with what seemed to be a hint of shock.

“I came to help you, Harry Potter,” she said softly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Not you!” He said firmly. She stared at him expressionlessly, reminding him of the old Luna. Even so, he kept his eyes fixed on hers, having a silent conversation with her.

She was pregnant, for God's sake; she should be miles away from here. Harry didn’t know much about pregnancy, but he knew what was coming wouldn’t be safe for the baby. Worse, if Voldemort found out she was expecting his child, he would hunt her down.

To his right, he could hear Ginny’s shocked voice, which would have shaken him at another time, but now he had something more important to think about.

“Harry, are you insane? Why can’t Luna help?”

Still staring into Luna’s silver eyes, he saw she wouldn’t give in easily, though he could see understanding in her gaze.

“Luna, I can’t do this with you here. Please, go.” He didn’t care about the pleading tone in his voice; he wanted his child far away from there and the inevitable war. He needed to know they were safe, that the only good thing he had ever done in his life would be safe from this war. Luna’s eyes glimmered; he could see she was relenting. But she was too loyal to simply turn her back.

The entire room was shocked by the unfolding situation. No one said anything because no one truly understood what was happening.

Hermione, ever perceptive, seized the moment to intervene.

“Harry, we need help as soon as possible,” she said in the tone she always used when trying to convince him to relent. But this time, he wouldn’t change his mind.
Sensing this, she chose to speak for him, her voice louder, addressing everyone in the room.

“We need help finding something very valuable—something like a treasure or a symbol. We don’t know exactly what, but it’s connected to Rowena Ravenclaw.”

Luna broke her gaze from Harry and turned to Hermione.

“The lost diadem of Rowena Ravenclaw.”

Everyone in the room seemed bewildered.

“No one’s ever seen that diadem. That’s why it’s the lost diadem of Rowena Ravenclaw,” came the voice of Cho Chang, tinged with disdain.

Luna turned back to Harry.

“I know who you can talk to in order to find it.”

For a moment, he thought she might be crazy. But then he remembered who he was speaking to. The girl before him was far from the dreamy Luna he once knew, yet she was still Luna. She had never lied to him, never given him a reason to doubt her. Beneath her eccentricity, there was always an ancient wisdom that belied her age.

“You’ll show me, and then you’ll leave. Otherwise, nothing doing.”

The people in the room were still shocked by his commanding tone. Despite his attempt to soften his expression, no one had seen Harry act like this before—he had never acted like this.

He silently pleaded for her to agree.

“Alright. I’ll leave afterward.”

He exhaled a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and gave her a faint smile.

“Harry, what the hell is going on?” Ginny’s temper was clearly not going to take a backseat, not even in the face of war. But Harry was too exhausted, worried, and relieved to deal with it now.

“Not now, Ginny,” he said with finality. He would have to apologize later, but not now.

After Harry, Hermione, and Ron devised a plan, Harry found himself under the Invisibility Cloak with Luna. Her hair brushed against his arm, and he wanted to say something, to touch her. But he decided it was wiser to stay alert for any movement.

The two of them reached the Ravenclaw common room, where Luna showed him what the diadem looked like, carved into a statue of the house founder. Then she began leading him down corridors he had never explored before.

When they reached a desolate, silent part of the castle, Luna stopped.

“I’ll go no further, Harry. Helena is very shy. I think it’s best you speak to her alone.”

Harry stood there, looking at her, the moonlight streaming through the windows and making her hair shine almost white. Her pale skin looked untouched, and her eyes held a glow that seemed otherworldly, reminding him of how he often thought of her as some sort of fairy.

He realized this could very well be the last time he saw her. He wanted to burn the image of her into his memory. An odd ache settled in his chest.

“Luna…” His voice was a whisper, his throat tight with the weight of a goodbye he couldn’t bring himself to say.

She took his right hand in hers, her touch warm and comforting, as it always had been.

“I know, Harry. You’re right. I can’t be here. But I wish I could fight for you, Harry Potter.” Her voice carried an emotion that made his chest constrict.

“You need to be safe, Luna. Promise me you’ll stay safe.” He didn’t need to specify who he meant.

“I promise.” She gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

This was it. She was going to leave him—her and their baby. The child he so desperately wanted to hold, to see if they would have his eyes or hers, to feel pride in being their father.

Harry stepped forward and gently placed his hand on her belly. Her eyes filled with tears, and so did his.

“Tell it… tell it about me. Tell it I loved it very much.” His voice was rough with the tears he was trying to hold back.

In an instant, Luna threw her arms around him, pulling their bodies together in a fierce hug.

“No! No, Harry Potter. Don’t talk as if you’re saying goodbye. You’re going to tell it yourself that you love it. You’re going to hold it in your arms and tell it stories of bravery and loyalty, and you’re going to hear it call you ‘Daddy.’” She was crying now. “Promise me! Promise me you’ll do what you have to do and come back to us—to it,” she demanded, her voice urgent and unwavering.

“I promise.” He tightened his arms around her and decided then and there that he would burn the whole world down, but he would return to them.

They stayed like that for a few minutes before Luna stepped back, still holding his hand. Her eyes were kind.

“I believe in you, Harry Potter.”

She repeated the same words she had told him so bravely in their fifth year when everyone called him a liar. It felt like a lifetime ago, but her words had the same effect on his heart.

Then she smiled—a real smile, one he hadn’t seen since the manor—and it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She let go of his hand, took the Invisibility Cloak, and disappeared.

Harry took a deep breath and moved forward to meet his destiny, but this time, he had a reason to come back.