Remus always hated the snow,it always made his feet cold and his hands sting
From the snow,it turned his cheeks an awkward pink along with his nose.most
Days during winter it left the roads and sidewalks slippery from the slushed ice and
He couldn't go outside without literally slipping and sliding everywhere because london
Barely has actual snow so when it did everyone was outside throwing snowballs that
Were unnecessarily hard from shaping into a possible weapon. On snowy days it left
Remus’s nose sting from the cold whenever he breathed.
But it all changed in third year when he and his friends snuck out of hogwarts after
Hours and started playing in the snow like kids who'd just seen snow for the first time
Ever. they played in the snow for many hours,once the darkness had faded and the sky
Showed in a gloomy grey fog, spreading out unable to see anything but their surroundi-
Ngs then remus realised how beautiful sirius actually was; he was certain that his
Eye light up leaving it bright,standing out.even in the white snow even in the
Beautiful view of hogwarts just before them sirius black was the prettiest thing
In his view. The way his pale skin illuminated of the snows colour,the way his
Hair had snowflakes scattered flawlessly in his hair how his pink tinted
Cheeks added colour onto his face leaving him almost looking godly it really was
A sight to see remus couldn't pull his eyes away with the way he moved it was
Magnetising. He also didn't miss the way his lips had puffed up in the coldness
He was adorable and remus couldn't stop staring
They did the same the following year,but it felt different to normal admiration
Remus had liked sirius. Okay remus wasn't COMPLETELY unaware of his
Feelings towards sirius but he ignored it that time thinking it was because he just
Liked looking at him and he was his best friend after all but now that it was right
Smack in his face it was almost impossible to just ignore it when sirius is
Standing there in front of him smiling like a child after he fell over right on top of
Remus,thanks to the no other than james potter who made it his goal to make
Him realise his feelings.of course remus was not aware that's what james was
Trying to do.remus froze quickly shoving sirius of so grateful to the cold because
The blush that spread rapidly across his face wasn't noticeable. James started
Cackling like the witches in the three broomsticks after a joke has been said by
One of their professors in hogwarts, after james started laughing sirius and peter
Followed right after staring at remus’s terrified expression mixed with insulted it
Really was laughable but not at this very moment because sirius then lifted up
His hand to push remus playfully
“Come on moony,ease up” his voice echoed through remus’ head,he didn't
Even want to imagine how silly he looked, recreating deer in headlights staring
Down at sirius’s hand on his bicep
“Are you feeling okay?” james asked concern filling his voice, he stared at remus
For a couple seconds until he snorted making the others snap their heads to
James clearly confused.remus finally tuned out the billions of feelings sourcing
Through his body;he kneeled down to pick up snow and launching it right at
james.
This year was different,this time they didn't go out.matter of fact they didn't speak
It was remus’s fault.after sirius told snape about remus and almost turning him into
A murderer remus was angry,more than angry he was fuming the morning after
His entire body ached,new scratches formed across his body but the worst part is
He woke up seeing james’s expression hurt more then the wounds on his body
“Remus” he murmured body practically flying out the chair “i'm so sorry” he said
Slowly
Remus attempted to sit up but eventually gave up.pain surged through his hands
When he tried to steady himself james was so quick to stop him from moving any
More and just stared at him with the eyes that told him that there was more to just
A bad full moon.it made his heart sink to his stomach
“ where are the others”
James sighed “please don't be angry with him”
Remus knew by the tone james was desperate which only worried him more
“ with who?”
The night before was blurry but he did remember someone being in the shrieking
Shack with him but he just couldn't piece it together.
“Sirius,look” james was the most serious that remus ever seen before and now he
Knew. it all dawned on him way to fast,sirius had fucked remus over and betrayed
His trust
“ he's an idiot,i know but pleas-”
“He told Snape” he finished before James could. Feeling a horrible,sick,prickly
Sensation in his stomach which made his head and heart ache
“ he didn't mean to” he blinked “he got into an argument with him,snape riled him
Up and he told him about the whomping willow..”
Remus just sat there completely astounded.he knows sirius has a bad temper
But he never thought that he would do something like this
____
After remus got let out the med wing he immediately went to find sirius,unfortunately
He was sat in the crowded common room on one of the sofas,zoned out even looking at him hurt. Instead he didn't even look in his direction after he found him the
First time it took a couple seconds for sirius to jump out of his seat to chase after him
“Rem-” he tried,voice sounding small and a little embarrassed but remus wasn’t giving him the time of day shoving himself past everyone to get to his room fast the
Whole way to the dorm Sirius called out his name getting closer and closer each
second. Once they were upstairs and the loud chatter silenced once the door shut.
He called for remus 2 more times before remus turned around head almost bouncing
of Sirius'. “Piss off” he shoved him backwards making a turn back to the dorm
Sirius still stayed following behind,remus never wanted to punch him more
Remus slammed the bathroom door in his face, he felt like crying it hurt to ignore
Him but it hurt more that he betrayed him remus trusted sirius the most because
They compare the most out of the other 2 so this was like a whole nother level of
Disappointment
Three days later remus and sirius got into a massive argument in the dorm resulting
In remus punching him in the face it started of with the three of them sitting in a circle
On the floor. Remus just left the bathroom and tried to get past but sirius quickly
Stood up trying to apologise for the hundredth time in the past 4 days but still remus
Didn't reply. Sirius stopped him from walking making remus’s blood boil he stepped back
“Im really sorry moon-”
“Tell me why” he cut him off,crossing his arms. The unspoken words he'd been dying to say finally came out now.
Sirius balked, looking up at Remus' hands tangled into each other nervously. “You owe me that” he hissed, waiting for Sirius to answer. But nothing came out
Remus scoffed rolling his eyes “so the one time i ask for an explanation ur silent?”
“Would it make a difference if I explained?”
He knew it wouldn't, remus was pissed and he had every right to be but once he heard the guilt in sirius’s voice he almost felt bad
“Didn't think so”
Remus looked between peter and james before his eyes met sirius.the actual audacity he thought
“Look moony,im sorry i fucked up and i get ur mad but please” he begged looking down to his hands avoiding eye contact
“A measly sorry won't cut it” put out moving to go into bed but sirius grabbed his wrist.remus had 2 seconds to even react before his fist collided into sirius’ face making both james and peter gasp.peter ran backwards and james shot up between them
Sirius was bleeding. Now cradling his nose
Remus stayed up the whole night after that staring at the ceiling until the sun rose
____
It's been 3 weeks since then and sirius kept trying to apologise,and remus still ignored him at first it was out of anger now its just out of pure pettiness
James and peter still talked to remus but remus just distanced himself away for the past 3 weeks so they decided to give him space
Today was the day where they would normally sneak out to play in the snow.they were too old to be playing in the snow but it wouldn't really be the marauders if they acted their age.
Remus didn't go into the dorm all afternoon.it was a saturday,luckily so he didn't worry about classes,although it was cold he stayed outside leaning on a tree staring ahead wishing he brought a book because he was bored. But he wasn't really gonna go upstairs to face the awkwardness.his ego was to high for that
It was now 4 hours after curfew remus just guessed that the boys covered for him and no one really cared enough to go look since the area he was at was close but also hard to find, so no one would find him and bother him
Only someone did bother him and it was sirius he sat next to him leaning against the tree staring down at his knees
“Are you still angry?” Remus heard the distance in his voice,he regretted ignoring him all over again. For the first week remus was angry but his feelings towards sirius were way stronger then any resentment
“You were right i owe you an explanation”
Remus locked eyes with him but only for a second he wanted to say something snarky back,or tell him to fuck of instead he nodded lightly waiting for sirius to carry on
“I had been disowned by my parents before we came back.”
Now remus felt extremely guilty,he didn't know
“I know it's no excuse but I was angry and Snape caught me on a bad day and told me he would find out what we are hiding. I told him how the willow worked. I felt bad right after and ran to james he stopped everything.got hurt in the process” he stopped talking to look at remus again “i wanted to take it back as soon as i said it i don't know what i was thinking “ he said quietly
“I get it if u hate me” he finished,head touching the tree to get a better look at remus.
All remus knew was that there was a hint of hope in his eyes and now all the pettiness had left now he just felt back leaving him feeling almost sick
“I don't hate you sirius” he admitted
His eyes lit up the same way it did when sirius was really happy.and remus watched like he always did whenever they were together, they haven't said a word to each other for 3 weeks, it was unusual because most nights remus and sirius sat up all night smoking,just talking about stuff while the others were asleep, and remus watched how his hair that was now grown to his shoulders move backwards in the wind, the way the stars shined down on them. Sirius never wore a shirt to sleep; it always ended up in Sirius jumping into his bed right after the cigarette was finished using a bobble to tie his hair loosely into a low bun. They always left the curtains open so they could carry on their conversation. It made more sense for them to just sit on the same bed but halfway through a conversation one would randomly fall asleep. And during those 3 weeks the closed curtains and the avoiding make Remus feel homesick to someone who was a literal bed away.
“I'm really sorry moony”
“I know,i'm sorry too” he sighed,relieved his shoulders finally stopped feeling heavy.he finally felt at peace “for your parents..”
Sirius laughed it felt like he had just been given his first bite of food in years hearing his laugh “don’t be sorry.im glad”
They played in the snow a couple hours later,running back to the dorms before anyone noticed,they had gotten chased by filch in the process of walking back but they ran faster into the fat lady portrait before he caught them, they laughed the whole way up the stairs
Everyone was asleep now,well he thought.. Remus sat up grabbing the cigarettes in his top draw along with a zippo that james gave him for his birthday
He opened the window ignoring the december breeze that left his body shivering,seconds later a loud swing of a curtain was made.remus shot his head to see sirius throw himself of his bed in a hurry, he stood up to sit on the window sill while remus just stood leaving his arms on it
“Smoking without me?” he asked grabbing the cig out his mouth,remus rolled his eyes “you could of just asked”
“Where's the fun in that” he raised his eyebrow
“What fun is you snatching my cigarette”
“Always a buzzkill remus lupin” he snorted, giving him back the cigarette “what's that spouse to mean?” remus gasped ignoring his grabby hands for the cigarette
“It means,your no fun” sirius shrugged taking the cigarette that's been passed around blowing its smoke out the window.watching it leave his mouth was satisfying he had many other thoughts race his mind which he instantly pushed down and ignored
“How so”
“You can't take a hint”
“How is me taking a hint,fun?” remus teased.sirius just rolled his eyes playfully kicking his arm “you little shit, you know what i mean”
“I don't know what you mean” he giggled like a little girl moving closer to sirius to make it easier to pass the cigarette around instead of stretching their arms out (no other reason)
Sirius shook his head letting the smoke blow from his nose like a dragon.they fell into silence, well remus did because his mind started racing once he took an actual look at sirius and noticed him not wearing a shirt;normally it wasnt something to crazy they all have seen each other naked at least once, since they are basically living together. But that was before Remus found out he liked Sirius and after being away for 3 weeks it caught him off guard leaving his face turning a crimson red without even realising. He wondered if Sirius ever thought of Remus the way Remus thought of him but also Sirius had been with a lot of girls during fourth year and the start of fifth. So there was like a 20% chance that he would even be into guys in that way.and they were friends..when he and mary got together he told remus friends dating never work and that's why they ended it
A cold hand pressed on his shoulder making him yelp in surprise “you okay?” Sirius said, sounding concerned Remus felt the magnetising feeling he felt when they locked eyes for the first time in 3 weeks,he couldn't bring himself to even look away. Everything started getting hot he felt long suffocating tension making him feel uneasy before he knew it he was between sirius’s knees closing the space in between them
Sirius’s breath hitched, immediately remus pulled away moving his hair out his face nervously “shit im so sorry” he panicked
Sirius bit back a smile wrapping his cold fingers around his neck “shut up”
He kissed him,remus’s heart started racing letting his hands fall down to sirius’ waist forgetting totally about the cigarette which was thrown out the window he smiled into the kiss