Accepting
The stone walls of the bathroom felt like they were closing in. The air was cold, but Harry barely registered it over the suffocating heat burning in his chest. His fingers curled around the porcelain sink, knuckles white with how tightly he was gripping it. The smooth surface was cool under his touch, grounding him, but it did little to ease the overwhelming panic creeping up his throat.
Just breathe.
His breath came in quick, shallow gasps, but it wasn’t enough. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t seem to get enough air into his lungs. His heartbeat pounded in his ears, deafening and uneven, like it was fighting against him. His head felt light, the edges of his vision blurring. A sickening wave of dizziness rolled over him, making his stomach churn.
He squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself to calm down, but the weight pressing on his chest refused to let up.
He was alone.
Utterly, completely alone.
The thought slammed into him with such force it nearly stole what little breath he had left. He had spent his entire life without his parents, without Sirius, without Remus—and now that he finally had them, they didn’t even know him. He knew everything about them, their mannerisms, their futures, how their lives would be cut short in ways none of them could possibly predict. And yet, to them, he was nothing more than a stranger.
Not Sirius. Not James. Not even his parents.
They didn’t know him.
He had never felt so invisible. So out of place. It was as if he were a ghost, stuck haunting a past that didn’t belong to him.
A sharp gasp left his throat, his grip on the sink tightening as his knees threatened to buckle. His thoughts spiralled faster, each one crashing into the next with unbearable weight. He didn’t belong here. He was stuck. He had no one.
The door creaked open behind him.
Harry tensed, his entire body stiffening as panic flared inside him. He didn’t want to be seen like this. Couldn’t be seen like this. But before he could compose himself, before he could try to wipe away the obvious signs of his distress, a voice—soft and careful—broke through the heavy silence.
"Harrison?"
Harry’s stomach clenched.
Remus.
He didn’t turn around. He couldn’t. His breathing was still uneven, his hands still trembling where they clung to the sink. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, frozen in place, his heart hammering against his ribs. But Remus didn’t push. He didn’t speak again right away, didn’t demand an answer. He just stepped inside, the sound of the door clicking shut behind him impossibly loud in the small space.
A long moment passed before Harry heard the soft scrape of fabric against stone—Remus leaning against the wall, posture relaxed, as if he was simply there for no reason at all. He wasn’t looking at Harry directly, but Harry could feel his presence.
Waiting.
Watching.
Not prying, but not leaving either.
Harry swallowed thickly, willing his hands to stop shaking. "I’m fine." His voice cracked slightly, and he winced.
Remus hummed, the sound thoughtful but unconvinced. "You’re shaking."
It wasn’t a question.
Harry let out a shaky breath, still staring down at the sink. "I said I’m fine."
"No, you’re not." Remus’s voice was calm, steady. "And that’s alright."
Harry squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his lips together.
The walls still felt like they were closing in. The dizziness still hadn’t faded.
There was a pause, and then Remus spoke again, his voice quieter this time. "You know… I get it."
Harry’s fingers twitched.
"That feeling—like you’re surrounded by people, but you’re still alone."
His breath hitched.
Remus sighed softly. "I’m not saying I know exactly what you’re going through. But I know what it’s like to feel like no one sees you. Like you’re just… existing."
Harry’s throat tightened.
Remus wasn’t pushing, wasn’t demanding that he talk, but the understanding in his voice was undeniable. It wasn’t empty sympathy. It wasn’t pity. It was just… real.
And for some reason, that made it worse.
Because if anyone in this time could understand, he knew it was Remus.
Harry slowly lifted his head, staring at his own reflection in the mirror. He barely recognized himself. His face was pale, his eyes shadowed, his shoulders tense like he was bracing for a fight that wasn’t even there.
"I don’t know what to do with it," he admitted quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.
Remus didn’t answer right away. He just stood there, gaze steady, unwavering. "You don’t have to do anything right now. Just take it one step at a time. And if you ever need someone to talk to… I’m here. And—" He hesitated. "Don’t take whatever Sirius said to heart. He’ll come around."
Harry let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. The tightness in his chest didn’t completely disappear, but it wasn’t as crushing anymore.
Remus pushed off the wall and gestured toward the door. "Come on. Breakfast is still going on, and I’m sure everyone’s getting restless without you. Especially the girls. Only Lily and Rina were able to introduce themselves properly last night."
Harry almost smiled. "Yeah, alright."
---
The Great Hall was as loud as ever, the chatter of students filling the air. Harry had barely stepped inside before a sharp, familiar voice rang out.
"Harrison!"
He barely had time to react before Rina appeared in front of him, her eyes narrowing in concern. Next to her was Lily sporting a similar look. Behind them, two unfamiliar girls hovered, both of them watching him like they could sense something was wrong.
Rina didn’t waste any time. "You look like you’ve been through hell."
Harry sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Good morning to you too, Rina. Lily. And… company."
Rina immediately brightened. "Oh, right! You haven’t met Marlene and Mary." She gestured at the two girls. "Girls, this is Harrison. Harrison, these are Marlene McKinnon and Mary Macdonald."
Marlene raised an eyebrow, arms crossed. "What happened? You okay?"
Harry hesitated. "It’s nothing. Just a small fight."
Lily narrowed her eyes. "With Sirius? He was the only one acting up last night and I saw him run out of the common room."
Harry sighed. "Yeah. With Black."
Rina cracked her knuckles. "Well, what did he do? I swear I’m going to have words with him."
Mary gave her a flat look. "You mean hex him?"
Marlene hummed thoughtfully. "Should we throw something at him? Maybe some pumpkin juice?"
Lily grinned. "I can hit him over the head with my book."
Harry blinked. "I can’t believe you all are so quick to resort to violence."
Rina smirked. "Violence is the answer when Sirius is being a prat."
Despite himself, Harry let out a small laugh. The ache in his chest was still there, but it wasn’t quite so unbearable anymore. Maybe he wasn’t as alone as he thought.
Maybe… just maybe… he could try to belong.
----
James had fought with Sirius plenty of times before. That was just what they did—clashed, yelled, sometimes even hexed each other, and then moved on like nothing had happened.
But this… this wasn’t like that.
This time, the fight had left something raw behind.
Because this time, it wasn’t just about them.
This wasn’t some petty disagreement. This wasn’t some stupid joke gone too far.
Because this time, Sirius had hurt someone else.
James had seen it in Harrison’s face, in the way he had shut down, in the way he had walked away. He had been furious at Sirius, had snapped at him without even thinking, but now, with the heat of the argument faded, all that was left was a gnawing pit in his stomach.
Because it wasn’t just Harrison who looked hurt.
Sirius did too.
And maybe that was the problem, wasn’t it? Maybe this fight hadn’t started tonight. Maybe it had been simmering for months—since summer, even. Since James had spent less time with Sirius and more time with Thomas and Harrison. Since Sirius had looked at him across the Great Hall on the first day of term and seen someone else come sit beside him.
James had told himself it didn’t mean anything. That Sirius was overreacting, like always. That he’d get over it. But maybe Sirius wasn’t overreacting. Maybe he had a reason to feel like James was slipping away.
Because for the first time, James wasn’t sure he had been there for Sirius the way Sirius had always been there for him.
And that was something James knew he had to fix.
James found him outside, slouched on the ground beneath the beech tree by the lake, the one they always lounged under when the weather was decent. His legs were stretched out in front of him, his arms resting on his knees, fingers twisting a blade of grass between them.
He looked like he didn’t want to be found.
Too bad.
Sirius spoke first, voice flat. "If you’re here to lecture me, piss off."
James sighed. "I’m not here to lecture you."
Sirius scoffed but didn’t argue.
A moment of silence passed. The wind rustled through the trees.
Then James exhaled and ran a hand through his hair. "I was an arse too."
That got Sirius’s attention. He turned his head slightly, frowning.
James shrugged. "I should’ve stopped you. I should’ve told you to shut up before it got that bad. I should’ve—" He cut himself off, jaw tightening. "I let Harrison down too. But it's not just him I let you down too."
Sirius didn’t say anything.
James huffed, shaking his head. "Merlin, Sirius, what the hell was that about, anyway? It wasn’t just about him, was it?"
Sirius was very, very still.
James knew that look. The one where Sirius was thinking so hard it probably hurt.
"Mate," James pressed, softer now, "what’s going on?"
Sirius let out a sharp breath, like he was trying to force something out of his chest. Then he muttered, "He’s taking you away."
James blinked. "What?"
Sirius scowled, like he was mad at himself for saying it. He pulled at the grass beside him, voice tight. "You’re my best friend, James. And then suddenly he shows up, and you—" He clenched his jaw, shaking his head. "You look at him like he belongs here, next to you, with you. And I just… I don’t know where that leaves me."
James stared at him.
Because he had seen this side of Sirius before. The one that Sirius pretended didn’t exist. The part of him that still flinched when someone raised their voice. The part that was always waiting to be abandoned.
James swallowed past the lump in his throat.
"Padfoot." His voice was quiet now. Steady. "You’re jealous."
Sirius flinched like James had hit him.
He turned his head away, but James caught the slight twitch of his fingers, the tell tale sign that meant Sirius was trying not to let himself be seen.
James let out a breath, dragging a hand down his face. "Sirius, mate, Harrison’s not replacing you."
Sirius scoffed. "You say that, but it’s different now. This summer—" He broke off, clenching his fists. "You barely wrote to me. Every time I saw you, you were with Avery or Evans, and I was just—" He exhaled sharply. "I don’t trust Avery, James. You know what my parents say about him. About his family."
James’s stomach twisted.
"I thought you didn’t care what your parents said," he said quietly.
Sirius let out a bitter laugh. "I don’t. Not about most things. But when they tell me a Slytherin pureblood is trying to get his claws into my best friend? Yeah. Maybe I listen." His voice dropped lower. "And maybe it fucking hurt when you ignored me for him anyway."
James felt like someone had punched him.
Because he hadn’t thought about it like that. Hadn’t thought about how Sirius had felt, watching James choose someone else over him.
And that was the worst part, wasn’t it?
Sirius had never had anyone pick him. Not really. Not until James.
And James had made him doubt that.
James exhaled, long and slow, before turning to Sirius fully.
"Listen to me," he said, and Sirius lifted his head slightly, blue eyes wary.
"You are my best friend. You are my brother," James said, voice unwavering. "You come first. Always."
Sirius’s breath hitched.
James pushed on. "I spent all summer trying to prove that I could make my own choices do my own things. But maybe I should’ve spent more time proving that to you."
Sirius swallowed, throat working.
"You’re my family, Sirius," James said, softer now. "And I am so damn sorry for making you doubt that."
Sirius blinked rapidly, jaw tightening. Then, after a long moment, he exhaled.
"You’re an idiot," he muttered.
James let out a breathless laugh. "Yeah, well. You’re stuck with me."
Sirius finally turned to look at him properly. And James saw it—the unspoken forgiveness, the understanding.
James grinned and clapped him on the back. "Alright, you emotionally stunted twat, let’s go fix things with Harrison."
Sirius rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth twitched.
And just like that, they were okay again.
Because at the end of the day, nothing was stronger than them.
Nothing ever would be.
----
Harry had almost forgotten what it was like to feel a part of something.
The Gryffindor girls were ridiculous. In the best way. They bickered and teased and threw out plans for revenge like they were discussing what to have for breakfast. And somehow, in all of it, they made Harry feel less alone.
So when Sirius appeared with James, sliding into the seats across from him, the mood shifted.
The conversation trailed off. The girls exchanged glances.
Harry tensed.
Sirius didn’t look smug this time. Didn’t look like he was about to throw more words that would sting. He looked… hesitant.
He exhaled, then said, "I was a prat."
Harry raised an eyebrow.
Sirius dragged a hand through his hair, clearly uncomfortable. "I shouldn’t have said what I did. I was being an arse, and it wasn’t about you—it was about me." His lips pressed together for a beat before he forced himself to go on. "I got jealous. And I took it out on you. And that’s not fair."
Harry blinked. He hadn’t expected that.
Sirius exhaled again, like this was physically painful for him. "You’re not replacing me. And I know that. But I guess part of me felt like—" He made a frustrated noise, shaking his head. "It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I was a git, and I’m sorry."
Harry studied him. He looked sincere.
He let the silence stretch just long enough for Sirius to start shifting in his seat, but this was Sirius so of course he said, "Alright. I forgive you."
Sirius looked relieved.
"But," Harry added, "you ever pull that crap again, I’ll let Rina get to you first."
Sirius let out a laugh. "That’s fair."
"You can call me Sirius, by the way, I didn't mean what I said" he said after a beat - looking sheepish.
Harry smirked. "Only if you call me Harrison."
Sirius groaned but there was a smile on his lips. "You’re insufferable."
Before Harry could respond, something came flying out of nowhere and smacked Sirius on the back of the head.
"Ow—what the—?" Sirius yelped, spinning around.
Rina stood there, arms crossed, looking smug. "Just making sure you’ve properly learned your lesson."
"I just apologised!" Sirius cried.
"And yet, I still don’t feel like it was enough," Rina said sweetly.
James snorted.
Sirius groaned dramatically. "I hate all of you."
"No, you don’t," Marlene said cheerfully.
Sirius sighed, but Harry could see the small smile tugging at his lips.
----
The group continued their breakfast, the atmosphere light and easy as the girls tried to dig a little deeper into Harry’s mysterious background. Marlene’s grin never wavered, her eyes full of mischief as she leaned toward him.
"So, Harrison," she said, raising her goblet of pumpkin juice, "tell us—what’s your deal?"
Harry blinked in surprise. "My deal?"
Mary, with her usual teasing tone, smirked from across the table. "Yeah, you just pop up out of nowhere, charm the socks off everyone, even remus which is no small feat—and yet, we know next to nothing about you."
Harry shifted uncomfortably, trying to think of a response that wasn’t a complete fabrication. He’d never been good at lying to people he didn’t trust. "Not much to tell, really. I’ve just... moved around a lot. Haven’t really stayed in one place long enough to—" His voice trailed off, realizing how lonely that sounded.
Lily’s expression softened with concern. "That sounds… lonely."
He offered a small, tight smile. "It has its moments."
Rina, ever the observant one, studied him closely, a thoughtful expression on her face. She looked like she wanted to ask more, but Remus, who was sitting next to her, subtly nudged her. She looked at him for a moment, then reluctantly let the conversation drift elsewhere.
Marlene, however, wasn’t ready to drop it. "Well, that won’t do," she huffed, setting her glass down with a thud. "You’re in Gryffindor now, which means you’re stuck with us."
Mary joined in, her voice light and teasing. "Unfortunately, you don’t get a choice in the matter."
Lily added with a playful glint in her eyes, "That’s right. You’ve already been adopted. No take-backs."
Harry couldn’t help but laugh at their antics. It felt nice, for once, to just be part of something, not the outsider looking in. "Merlin help me," he muttered, shaking his head.
The chatter continued, and for a brief moment, Harry let himself relax. He had the strange feeling of being... home, in a way. The weight of his isolation momentarily lifted, replaced by the warmth of their easy companionship.
Then, just as he took a sip of pumpkin juice, it hit him.
His stomach dropped, and panic shot through him like ice water running through his veins. "Shit—I have to go see Professor McGonagall!" he blurted out, nearly choking on the juice.
The table fell silent. Everyone looked at him as he abruptly stood, ready to bolt.
Remus, who had been calmly sipping his own drink, raised an eyebrow, unfazed. "Right now?"
Harry hesitated, his nerves kicking in. "I—I told him I’d see her first thing—"
Remus shrugged casually, not missing a beat. "She’s not going anywhere, Harrison. You might as well finish your breakfast first."
Harry paused, still feeling the urge to rush off, but slowly lowered himself back into his seat, sheepish. "Right. Yeah. Good point."
Sirius, ever the one to lighten the mood, smirked from across the table. "Merlin, you’re wound tight. What’d you do, hex Filch already?"
Harry rolled his eyes but didn’t respond. The truth was, he had completely forgotten about his meeting with McGonagall amidst everything else—the fight with Sirius, the panic attack, the strange, overwhelming emotions.
The conversation picked up around him, but Harry’s mind was elsewhere, racing as he tried to finish his meal, though he found he couldn’t focus on the food anymore.
----
After a few more minutes, the group left the Great Hall together, their laughter and conversation filling the corridors as they made their way toward the next part of their day. Harry tried to ignore the knot in his stomach, focusing on the easy camaraderie of his friends as they walked side by side.
But when they rounded a corner, they almost collided with a group of Slytherins, who were heading in the opposite direction.
A familiar voice cut through the air, oozing with condescension. "Well, well, if it isn’t Gryffindor’s latest charity case."
Harry didn’t need to look up to know who it was.
Lestrange.
Sirius immediately stiffened beside him, his usual easy going nature evaporating in an instant. James’s hands curled into fists, his entire body rigid as the tension in the air thickened.
Rabastan Lestrange stood at the front of the group, a smug, twisted grin on his face. Beside him, Lucius Malfoy looked bored, though amusement flickered in his eyes. Tom was stood there too face completely impassive. Several other Slytherins flanked them, their expressions a mix of mild interest and contempt.
"Isn’t it just like you Gryffindors to play the hero?" Lestrange continued, his voice dripping with malice. "Always trying to save everyone, aren’t you? Even the ones who don’t belong."
Lily, who had been walking beside Harry, straightened up, her eyes narrowing at the insult. "You’ve got a lot of nerve, Lestrange."
Malfoy’s eyes flicked toward Lily, a sneer curling his lips. "And look at you, Mudblood. Pretending you belong here with the purebloods." His tone was thick with disdain as he turned his gaze to the rest of the group. "Hogwarts is for the pure. Not for filthy Muggle-tainted blood."
A tense silence followed as everyone around them bristled. Sirius’s fists were clenched so tightly, his knuckles were white, and James’s jaw was set with barely-contained anger.
Another Slytherin goon—probably Crabbe—opened his mouth as if to make a comment about Harry as well. But at the last second, he seemed to think better of it, closing his mouth quickly. He glanced nervously at his peers, as if uncertain about pushing his luck.
The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife, but then, to everyone’s surprise, Tom spoke up, his voice calm and almost indifferent. "Ah, I suppose I should take my leave, then."
The group froze, all eyes turning to him in stunned silence. Tom’s words had clearly caught them off guard, especially with his usually controlled demeanour.
Tom’s lips curled slightly into something resembling a wry smile. "I mean, if this place is truly so pure and sacred for those of pure blood, I should probably excuse myself, shouldn't I?"
The Slytherins around them were visibly thrown, some exchanging confused glances. Lestrange and Malfoy both stared at Tom, stunned.
Then Tom’s voice took on a different tone, one that was almost amused. "Oh, don't tell me you all assumed I was...pureblood? As a matter of fact I’m a half-blood."
The shock in the air was palpable. The Slytherins gawked at him, confused, as if trying to make sense of what they had just heard.
The rest of the group, except for Harry and James, were still processing Tom's unexpected admission. All utterly shocked.