So what if I'm fucking crazy?
"Remus" Sirius nagged.
No reply.
"Remus."
Nothing.
"Remusss!"
"For fucks sake Siri, what?"
"I'm bored"
"Not my problem."
"Why are you being so mean?"
"Because. You gave me a fucking headache and it's annoying."
"I'm sorry."
"Mhm"
It was quiet for a moment.
"Remus?"
"Mm?"
"Are you mad at me?"
"No."
"Remus I love you so much and I'm so so sorry I'm annoying you but-"
"Sirius! It's fine. I'm sick."
"Uhmmm... I can-"
"It's fine. Stop it."
"I can get you a Panadol- Or a hot chocolate- a coffee-"
"Sirius, just stop. You're annoying me."
"I'm just trying to help."
"Well stop trying to help then!"
Sirius flinched. "Sorry.."
"Just let me sleep." Remus snapped, and Sirius got up and left his room.
"Hey Sirius!"
"Hey Effie."
"Where's Remus?"
"He's resting. He's sick."
Effie nodded.
"Where's Reg?" Sirius asked.
"I'm not entirely sure, dear. I think he's with James."
"Regulus wouldn't go near James with a ten foot pole."
"Then I've got no clue."
"Ok."
"Do you need anything?"
"No, I'm fine thanks."
"Ok."
A little while later, Sirius went back to bed with Remus.
"Hi love" He heard Remus murmur, wrapping arms around Sirius' waist and kissing his neck.
"Hé mon amour"
"Huh?"
"Désolé mon cerveau- Fuck, My brain switched to French. I don't know."
"God you're hot when you speak French."
"Speak Welsh to me then"
"Dwi'n dy garu di gymaint ac mae'n ddrwg gen i fy mod wedi tynnu fy nghariad arnat ti"
"What's that mean?"
"I love you so much and I'm sorry i snapped at you my love"
"C'est bon et je t'aime encore plus"
"And what's that mean?"
"It's ok and i love you more"
"How much?"
"If it was a choice between you and the sun, I'd be nocturnal."
"I love you so much I'd fucking die for you, My love" Remus murmured.
"Oh yeah? Show me."
That ended so well.
Sarcasm very much implied.
It's not that it ended bad.
Unless you count locking the doors for seven hours and Sirius not being able to get up afterwards bad.
Ok well seeing as Sirius was meant to go for a run with James the morning after...
OK maybe it wasn't the BEST and maybe Sirius shouldn't have, because now he'd probably get sick, but who gave an actual flying fuck?
He didn't, Obviously.
Sirius tried to focus on his work.
Working from home SUCKED.
SUCKED DICK.
WORKING FROM HOME SUCKS MORE DICK THAN SIRIUS DOES.
AHHHHHH.
He tried.
He sat at his desk, but every time he went to type his mind went blank.
Stupid fucking emails he had to reply to.
Shit he had to do to get Regulus back into school for his last year, Because the dumb fuck got expelled.
Sirius stood up, WHICH HIS BODY HIGHLY DISSAGREED WITH, and started cleaning.
Just cleaning.
Why?
God knows.
Even spaces that technically didn't need cleaning, he just started going clean freak.
Then he sat down, and started cutting clothes, sewing clothes, just doing random shit really. Another mess.
Clean it up again.
He started crying.
Barely.
But he was still crying.
Why?
Suddenly he had a very strong urge to dye his hair.
Or do something like that.
Makeup!
Makeup!
Crop tops!
Random shit!
Skirts!
Hold up,
Skirts?
What?
What is even happening with his train of thought?
What?
Since when did he ever want to die his hair?
Or wear the sort of things Marlene wears?
But then he also wanted to look like a boy. Like boy boy. Like, Look like Regulus.
How did Regulus fit so well with his gender?
Why did everyone fit so well with their gender?
Remus looks like a boy, because he is.
James looks like a boy, because he is.
Regulus looks like a boy, because he is.
Marlene looks like a girl, because she is.
Mary looks like a girl, because she is.
Pandora looks like a girl, because she is.
Sirius looks in between.
Maybe he IS in between?
He doesnt feel non-binary.
He loves looking fem sometimes, but he loves looking masc sometimes.
What is wrong with me? He thought.
Why can't i just be normal? Why? Why do I want to look like both? I can't BE both.
THAT'S NOT HOW IT FUCKING WORKS. AHHHHH.
Jewlery.
Peircings.
Necklaces.
Tattoos.
Motorbikes.
Eyebrow slits.
Skirts.
Crop tops.
Jeans.
Jackets.
Purple.
Red.
Fem.
Masc.
Girly.
Boyish.
Perfume.
Cologne.
Corsets.
Dress shirts.
ugh.
Girl.
Boy.
Neither.
Both??
BE NORMAL.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Why couldn't he just be normal?
Stupid fucking-
Loud bang. Sirius looked up. Silence.
Ringing. Eery ringing. Sirius sat down, back against the wall, putting his hands over his ears.
Shouting. There was nobody shouting though.
What the fuck?