Remus pulled the blanket over his face for only about a few seconds before he couldn't breathe anymore, the hot air trapped beneath the blanket made his head spin. He pressed his fists to his ears to block out the sounds from the common room but he could still feel the thud of music in his chest, steady vibrations that made him want to vomit.
The door opened and he squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that he could get away with pretending to be asleep. Footsteps came closer to his bed and he regretted not shutting the curtains before he got under the covers. The bed dipped with the familiar weight, and Remus held his shaky breath.
“Moony… I’m sorry Moony…” Sirius sounded so sad, his voice quiet, and Remus could hear the way that his lips pouted.
The cold air hit his back as Sirius lifted the blanket, laying down in the bed beside Remus, his hand snaked around his torso. He was so close that Remus could feel his breath on his neck. The smell of alcohol from Sirius made Remus grimace.
“You stink,” He grunted, but drunk Sirius wasn’t easy to deter and drunk Remus was too easy to convince.
“Moony…” Sirius tried again, his uncoordinated hands grasping onto Remus’ shoulder, pushing his hair behind his ear and out of his face. It was a futile action since his hair was too short to stay behind his ear, thought the sober part of Remus that was still upset at Sirius, but well-past-tipsy Remus wasn’t going to start protesting the soft touches. The mattress moved again as Sirius shuffled closer, kneeling and hunched over Remus.
“I didn’t mean to.. I’m sorry.” Remus was pulled out of his mulling over and finally opened his eyes, looking over his shoulder just enough to see Sirius with his bony knees digging into his back, frowning down at him. The moonlight framed his face so beautifully, that it almost made Remus jealous of the way it touched Sirius’ nose and cheek. It made Remus think of how the girl touched Sirius, how her long painted nails dug into his back. Jealous was a good descriptor of how he felt that night.
Remus was just starting to fully turn onto his side, but Sirius caught him- his soft fingers making a mockery of his father’s best fishing hooks, Remus thought to himself. If Remus were a fish and Sirius put his hand in the water, he would swim right into his palm, let the man cradle his scaled and slimy body and not care if Sirius decided to release him or kill him with a rock. Remus snorted a short laugh at his metaphor, making Sirius look down at him with a funny expression. Oh, right. Sirius was still apologising.
Sirius’ hand was cradling Remus’ jaw now, not letting him turn away. His thumb pressed to Remus’ lips. Remus wondered how he was ever meant to be angry, when Sirius crawled back to him this way. He surely couldn't be expected to deny Sirius when he was so apologetic and sad. Even if his chest clenched uncomfortably at the memory of Sirius and that girl, blatantly touching each other up. Remus could have sworn he saw the shine of saliva all over her neck, down to the neckline of her dress.
“You promised,” Remus spoke, because if he was drunk, he might as well use his looser tongue to his advantage. Even if he very easily could have gone without reminding Sirius of his wrongdoings. Sirius knew very well what he did, he looked guilty too. Remus almost began to regret opening his mouth, when Sirius hung his head low and nodded with a shameful expression. He huffed with the weight of Sirius on top of him, but allowed the boy to nuzzle in. Sirius began to mouth at Remus’ neck, so soft and slow and wet like the saliva that was shining on her neck-
Remus was sighing softly, baring his neck for Sirius. But his skin crawled at the sensation of Sirius dragging his tongue over his jugular, the same tongue that was just down some random girl’s throat. Sirius continued to kiss, continued to touch and grab at Remus’ waist. He groaned at the way that Sirius’ body pressed into his, at the way Sirius tried to kiss his lips.
Sirius froze once he realised that Remus didn’t kiss him back. They were both flushed and breathing heavily. Remus expected Sirius to look annoyed or frustrated, but not this sad and guilty expression. Remus was about to say something, his mouth opened, but he made no sound. Sirius slid off his lap and wrapped his arms around Remus again, pressing his face into Remus’ neck.
“I’m sorry.. I won’t do it again.”
Remus couldn’t stand holding a grudge anymore. He sighed, grasped Sirius’ hands in his and squeezed. He desperately hoped this was the first and last promise that Sirius would break.
“Okay.” Remus felt Sirius tense briefly, and then relax at the easy response. Then his lips moved over the back of his neck, kissing Remus softly.
“Okay.”