It was weird now to be sitting in the 8th-year common room drinking, basically alone, waiting for Hermione to finish one of her eternal study sessions. Maybe it was just that. That he was alone, waiting for his girlfriend; like he had done every weekend for the past couple of months.
He wasn't sure what exactly had changed. The past six months have been hard. They had been very very hard. Considering what the previous year had been like, Ron felt like this feeling was significant. Sure he now got a minimum of three square meals every day. He had just spent Christmas at The Burrow with all the people he loved, well those still alive, instead of hiding from his family and friends. Still, Hermione kept on reminding him that he had ‘the emotional range of a teaspoon’ so maybe he was wrong. Maybe this was not a significant feeling. Maybe he was being foolish.
Auror training was not what he thought it would be. It was physically and mentally grueling. A good part of him agreed with Hermione that maybe finishing his NEWTs wouldn't have been awful. It would have certainly helped give him some foundational knowledge. He would never tell her that though, he had enough of the ‘told you so’s he already got from her. It wasn’t like his lack of NEWTs meant that he was lagging behind.
Actually, for the first time in a long time, he was excelling. Last week he had mastered a rather tricky bit of magic for basic curse-breaking. He knew it was not complex. He knew it wasn't impressive by any means. He knew complex, he'd seen impressive.
Ron was still proud. He had been excited to show Hermione only for her to laugh at him. Apparently, according to her, it was a very outdated spell that was completely unnecessary, and 'Really, don't these people training you READ? If they just opened Unlocking Magical Malediction by Prof. Nero Oscura they would know this. What a waste of time, Ron.'
He shouldn't be this uncharitable. Hermione had been such a rock for him. The idea of going through the last summer mourning Fred without the active support of Hermione, still shook him. She was so good for him. He loved her. He had loved her… well always. It still stung when she didn't immediately support him but he knew she also had her own ghosts and her own work. It was okay.
Yet, since he started visiting he had progressively started spending more and more time with Neville and Susan waiting for Hermione to come back from the library. Now that he thought about it. Neville had been gone for a while. He seemed to disappear early in the evenings when he came to the castle with Harry and Ron. Ron assumed he was in the greenhouses tending to the plants he seemed to love so much.
Susan usually hung out in the common room since her break up with Ernie and Ron had gotten to know her better. She was funny and clever. She had a dry humor that tickled him. She took the mickey, liked her drink, and didn't let anyone ruffle her feathers. She had a keen mind that leaned into healing. She asked a lot of questions about what was and wasn't included in the healing courses at the Auror Academy.
He had seen her get into some fabulous arguments with Parkinson about the subject. Ron found the idea of those two becoming healers very scary. Neither woman looked like they had any bedside manners. When Susan had indeed patched him up the other month from a curse burn there had been very little compassion and softness. Really good healing balm though.
His thoughts were broken when said witch came in. Hand in hand with Padma, pausing at the entrance to kiss her. Susan was dating whom? Had Ron even known she was a lesbian? Why did it even matter? So Susan was now with Padma. He could have sworn that Neville said something about him hooking up with Susan over the summer. Didn't he? Maybe Neville was just so bad in bed that he turned Susan gay.
"Hey, Ron! Waiting for Hermione, again?" Susan asked cheerfully as she pulled Padma towards him sitting in the, appropriately named loveseat, in front of him. wrapping Padma in her arms. "Uhhh yeah… you know the usual." He took a sip of his drink trying to dislodge whatever had stuck in his throat since their arrival. "So… I… Uh… guess congratulations are in order?"
Padma let out a soft girlish giggle while Susan guffad. "Yeah, thanks. Isn't she beautiful? I am so happy." Susan spoke looking at Padma with loving eyes. Padma blushed kissed Susan's hands and smiled.
Very soft hands too. Everything else about Susan was soft. It was a wonderful juxtaposition. Stern no-nonsense attitude, soft hair, and skin. Soft curves too. Sure He loved Hermione and thought her beautiful but he was 18 he couldn't deny that something about Susan's thick thighs and full breasts was something that he found attractive.
And now Padma got to enjoy her.
Ron's fists tightened, his jaw clenched. "Yeah. I mean I was lucky to get her to be my date for Yule ball."
"Right! I had forgotten about that." Susan said with a smile.
Padma laughed and snuggled closer to Susan and somehow this made him feel worse than bringing up that horrible dance. "Lucky you! I wish I could forget it. No offense Ron but you were the worst date."
"Yes, I do apologize. I was a twat." He tried to keep his voice calm, normal. Why did he want to scream? Why was he so angry about Susan finding someone who made her happy?
"No worries Ron I know what it feels like to be jealous. I am glad you got her in the end." Padma offered graciously.
"Who?" Ron had lost the plot.
"Hermione of course." Susan was the one to answer this time looking at him in a confused manner. "Everyone saw you two fighting in the staircase. We all know you loved her since then. It must have been hard to see her with Krum."
"I… Yeah. Krum." In reality, and he knew no one actually believed him, he had been upset about Hermione going with the guy they actively thought wanted to kill Harry. He didn't feel then how he felt now.
Not that he understood why, but right now. Right now his blood wanted to boil. His heart felt like it was being constricted. He felt an overwhelming absence which was completely ridiculous.
He needed to get out of here. "I… I should go find Hermione." He stood up abruptly. "Uh… congratulations, again." He said sadly.