peace of mind
The afternoon was warm, the kind of late autumn sunlight that had just enough heat to feel comfortable without being stifling. It was a perfect day for Quidditch practice, and James was already feeling the familiar rush of excitement in his chest as he made his way toward the pitch. The rest of the team was already gathering in their respective spots, Sirius among them, slinging a broomstick over his shoulder with a lazy grin.
James had always loved this part of his day—the part where everything else faded, and the world became nothing but the beat of the game. Being captain meant he had to keep an eye on everyone, make sure drills were running smoothly, but that never stopped him from feeling a sense of exhilaration every time he grabbed his broom. It was the one place where everything felt like it was in perfect balance, and for those two hours on the pitch, he could forget about the gnawing weight in his chest.
"Ready to kick some arse?" Sirius called out, his usual cocky grin in place as he climbed onto his broom. James shot him a look, smirking as he jumped onto his own broom.
"Always," James replied, shaking his head. "Just don’t crash into me this time, alright?"
Sirius just winked, already lifting off the ground with a swift motion of his broomstick. James followed suit, rising into the air with a smooth, practiced ease.
On the sidelines, Remus was already sitting at the bench, his book in hand, though his eyes were mostly on the practice. He’d always been the observer content to sit back, relax, and watch as James and Sirius, along with the rest of the team, went through their drills. It was a typical pattern by now, one that had become second nature for Remus. He didn’t need to join in, didn’t want to be on the field. He just enjoyed the rhythm of it all, the way James would bark orders, keeping the team moving fluidly through the practice.
"Alright, listen up!" James called, his voice commanding as he floated in front of the team. "We’re going to start with passing drills. Everyone in position. Sirius, I want you doing the dodging drills today."
Sirius let out a dramatic groan. "Of course, because I’m the target."
"Exactly," James said, a mischievous glint in his eye. "We need to work on your reflexes, mate."
The team laughed, and the mood shifted back to the usual energy of their practices. Remus couldn’t help but smile at the sight. James was always the center of attention, the one who kept things light with his jokes and energy. Even when things were tense, he knew how to break the ice. The team had come to rely on him for that.
Sirius launched himself forward at full speed, expertly weaving through the other players as the rest of the team passed the Quaffle around, practicing their throws. James was in his element, calling out instructions, adjusting positions as needed, and ensuring the drills were moving smoothly. Every movement was precise, every pass intentional. James was always focused when he was on the pitch, a sharp contrast to the carefree persona he wore off it.
"Peter, take it easier with the throws. You’re rushing," James called as he watched one of Peter’s passes go wide. "And Lily, stop trying to distract me with your stare, alright?"
Lily, the team’s Seeker, rolled her eyes but grinned, shooting a sarcastic salute his way. "You wish, Potter."
James chuckled, the banter flowing easily between the team as they continued through drills. It was the kind of practice that felt effortless, like they were all in sync, even when things didn’t go perfectly. But through it all, Remus remained a quiet observer. He sat on the bench, turning the pages of his book but often glancing up at the game, his eyes following the swift motions of the players.
Sirius was all over the pitch, diving and weaving between the other players, while James directed the flow of the practice. He was always so commanding, and yet, even in the midst of it, Remus could see that his usual easy grin was only on the surface. Beneath that, James was always just a little... distant. But that was something Remus had learned not to question. Everyone had their masks, and James’s was the easygoing, always-happy captain.
As practice went on, James called for a break. Everyone landed and began to gather around the middle of the pitch, sweating but in good spirits. James wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, looking at his team with a proud smile.
"Alright, that’s enough for today. You’re all looking good out there." His eyes flicked over to Sirius, who was already lounging on the grass, broomstick tossed aside. "Except for you, Black. You look like you’re about to fall asleep."
"Hey, I’m saving my energy for the next match," Sirius replied with a grin, his eyes closed as he stretched out.
James rolled his eyes but walked over to where Remus was sitting on the bench. Remus had long since closed his book and was now just watching the team, an almost detached look in his eyes. James had grown used to Remus's quiet presence during practices; it had always been like this, ever since they were younger. Remus was there, but never really there in the same way.
"You’ve been quiet today," James said lightly, sitting beside him on the bench. "What’s on your mind?"
Remus shrugged, his gaze still on the team. "Just watching. It’s a good show," he said simply, his tone calm and collected. "I don’t mind being the spectator."
James raised an eyebrow, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Fair enough. You know, I swear you’ve got some kind of magical ability to stay still while we’re all running around like madmen."
Remus just shrugged again, his cane resting on the ground beside him. "Not much for flying, but someone has to keep you lot grounded, right?"
James chuckled softly, leaning back. "Someone’s got to keep us all from getting too cocky." He gave Remus a glance, the humor still in his eyes, but there was a quiet understanding beneath it. They both knew the other understood their place on the team, how they functioned.
As the team began to pack up, James stood up and stretched, his eyes scanning the horizon for a moment. "Alright, that’s it for the day. Same time tomorrow?"
Sirius waved a hand in the air lazily. "Yeah, sure. Same time, same place."
James grinned at him, nodding, but then turned back to Remus, his smile fading just a touch. He was always a little quieter around Remus, a little more distant, even though they were close.
"You heading back to the dorm?" James asked, looking at Remus as he gathered his things.
"Yeah, I’ll catch up with you later," Remus replied, standing up from the bench. "Good practice today."
"Thanks," James said, offering him one last smile before heading toward the locker room with the rest of the team.
As Remus walked back to the castle alone, he watched James disappear into the distance, the usual loud laughter of the team filling the air. But it was hard for him to shake the feeling that something was off. It always was with James, wasn’t it? A mask hiding everything else underneath.
But that was nothing new.