Chapter 1
The Gryffindor common room had settled into an easy silence as the night stretched on. Peter was snoring softly in his bed, while Sirius had already retreated to his dorm with a casual comment about getting some sleep. Remus, always a little slower to head off to bed, was the last one still up, finishing his notes for an essay.
He passed the balcony door and paused, noticing that it was cracked open. The cold night air seeped in from outside, but James was standing there, alone in the chill. He was leaning against the stone railing, looking out into the darkness, his posture slightly stiff. He didn’t seem to notice the cold, or if he did, he didn’t care.
Remus raised an eyebrow. He didn’t say anything right away but stepped outside, shivering slightly from the sudden drop in temperature.
“Still out here?” Remus asked, surprised to see James outside alone this late. It was far too cold for this time of night, especially with no jacket on. But there was no real concern in his voice James was James. Always around for pranks and laughter, a little unpredictable at times, but it was hardly anything out of the ordinary.
James didn’t look at him, his eyes still fixed on the night. He exhaled a thin trail of smoke, then took another drag from his joint. His face was expressionless, his posture detached, and there was no sign of the usual playfulness that always seemed to be there when he was with the group.
“Yeah,” James replied flatly, his voice devoid of any emotion. “Needed some air.”
Remus didn't think too much of it and stepped up next to him, accepting the joint James offered him without a word. They both stood there in silence for a moment, the night air biting at their skin, as the smoke curled between them. It was cold unusually cold for this late in the evening but the quiet between them felt comfortable enough.
James’s voice eventually broke the silence, blunt and emotionless.
“You ever think about dying?”
Remus paused for a brief moment, caught off guard by the question. His brow furrowed slightly, a flash of confusion crossing his face. It wasn’t like James to ask something so… heavy. But there was no tone of concern in his voice, no hesitation. Just flat, casual, like it was another question to throw out into the night.
Remus exhaled the smoke slowly, his mind momentarily stalled. He wasn’t sure what to make of it—was James joking? But there was no hint of humor, no smirk, nothing to suggest it was a joke. Still, Remus answered without missing a beat, trying to keep his tone just as neutral.
“Sometimes,” he said casually, shrugging like the question wasn’t out of place. He took another drag. “But it’s nothing. Doesn’t really mean anything.”
James didn’t react. He just kept standing there, staring into the distance, his face cold and unreadable. There wasn’t even the usual spark of mischief in his eyes, nothing at all. After a moment, he flicked the joint away, stretched his arms out, and then stood up, moving toward the door.
“Night,” he said, his voice light, as though nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.
Remus stared after him for a moment, slightly puzzled. That was... odd. But there was no real reason to dwell on it. James was always a bit unpredictable, a bit distant when the mood took him. It wasn’t anything to get worked up about.
With a quiet sigh, Remus flicked the rest of the joint away and turned to head back inside. He couldn’t help but wonder why James had been out there alone in the cold, but then again, James didn’t exactly need a reason to act strangely.