Chapter 3
You’re like a picture
You’re never gonna be the same thing again
But it’s a strike of lightning
Everytime you look, everytime you listen
Into Black - Blouse
Annie gets an extra mattress from somewhere and sets it up on the floor next to Regulus’ bed. James sits down on it, eyes flickering around Regulus’ room, wearing the oversized t shirt Regulus usually uses to sleep since he can’t wear his binder, but it’s the only thing he has that will fit James, so he’s stuck sitting there, breasts completely visible under the bowie shirt that belongs to Sirius.
“I like your stars,” James says, staring up at the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling.
Sirius found one on the pavement when Regulus was six. Regulus had always been terrified of the dark, but the dark was the only safe place in their house. The space under his bed, the area behind his clothes in the cupboard.
Sirius stuck the one he found to the bottom of Regulus’ bed, and they’d stare at it together for hours while their parents yelled downstairs.
The star Sirius brought him is under Regulus’ new bed now, but when he and Annie went shopping for things for his room, he saw a pack of them and asked if he could have them. It was the only thing he asked for, the rest was just Annie picking stuff out for him because he didn’t participate no matter how hard she tried.
She seemed happy that he asked for them though, and she helped him stick them to his ceiling.
“Thanks,” Regulus finally answers.
“Your name’s a star, right?”
Regulus turns his head to look at James, who’s still looking up at the ceiling. Now that James can’t see him, Regulus lets his eyes wander all across him, taking in every detail.
“Yeah. It’s a star.”
“That’s so cool. Where is it?”
“Huh?”
“The star?”
“Oh, erm, in space.”
James turns to him then, a giant smile on his face. For the first time in his life, Regulus doesn’t not only not want to look away, he finds he can’t look away.
“I meant in what constellation, Reg,” James says softly.
“Oh. Leo.”
James hums, “I like lions.”
“Why?”
“No idea. Does your name mean anything? It gives me latin vibes.”
Regulus giggles slightly. “What are latin vibes?”
“Isn’t it latin?”
“It is…”
“See? Latin vibes. What does it mean then?”
“Prince. Or little king.”
“Awww, that’s cute.”
“Is it?”
“Yes. Literally everything about you is cute, Reg”
“Okay”
James’ smile widens, “Okay”
***
James snores. Irregularly. It’s very distracting.
That’s what Regulus is telling himself at least. That he’s distracted by the snores and not the way James’ hair falls into his face, the way he hides his face slightly in the pillow, the softness of him as he sleeps. The way the moonlight dances across him.
Regulus rolls back over and closes his eyes, trying to fall asleep.
The thunder outside crackles louder and louder as the night passes, and between that and the snoring, Regulus knows any attempt at sleep is futile.
He slips out of his bed, sneaks silently across the room, something he’s very good at, and plops himself down on the floor next to James’ bed.
James’ shifts suddenly, his face contorting. He lets out a soft groan, frowning, rolling over. It takes Regulus longer than it should to realise he’s having a nightmare, and he starts trying to shake James awake.
James’ eyes finally crack open when Regulus cups his face and he blinks a few times.
Then, he sits up abruptly, his arms coming around Regulus.
“Woah, Reg, I just had the fucking craziest dream!”
“Y-Yeah?”
Regulus, distracted by the warmth of James’ cheek, lets him yap about his dream while he concentrates on brushing his thumb up and down. James doesn’t even notice, still talking and talking.
Regulus feels… light, right now. Good. He grins, and James finally stops. “What?” he asks, slightly confused, but still smiling.
“I don’t know. I like this.”
“Like what?”
“You.”
The heat from James’ cheek suddenly grows even hotter and he looks down bashfully.
“Jesus, Reg.”
Regulus’ chest clenches. “Was that- was that bad?”
“What? No, no, of course not, I just- you just surprised me. But in a good way.”
“Okay.”
James nods. “What time is it, anyway?”
Regulus’ gaze flicks towards the clock on his bedside table. “Two a.m.”
“Ah, nice.”
“Why’s that nice?”
“Not sure.”
“Okay. You’re weird.”
James shakes his head and smiles. “Go back to sleep, you nutter”
“I’m not tired”
“You will be tomorrow”
“I’m very good at being a zombie, though”
“But why would you want to be a zombie when you can be a human with me instead?” James grins.
Regulus finds himself smiling back, wider than he ever has with James.
“Go to sleep, Reg,” James says again, softly, and Regulus nods. “Okay”.
He crawls back into his bed, turning to meet James’ eyes. For the first time in his life, Regulus finds himself not only not wanting to look away, Regulus isn’t sure he can look away.
James smiles, big and goofy and Regulus laughs a little breathlessly.
“Goodnight, James,” he yawns, letting his eyes fall closed.
“Night, Reg”
***
Regulus rolls over as he wakes up, yawning. He can feel the sunshine on his face, snug under his blanket.
This peace is broken when Annie starts yelling through the house.
“Lads! Get up!”
Regulus groans and slips out of his bed, rubbing at his eyes.
Suddenly, he trips over something and falls over with a groan.
He looks back to find James peering at him, hair an absolute mess.
“Reg?”
“Huh?”
“Why’d you step on me?” James slurs and Regulus crawls over to him, “I’m sorry.” He wraps his arms around James in apology, petting his hair.
James leans into him and Regulus lets his eyes fall closed.
It’s only when he hears a snore that he snaps them open again.
“James, no,” he halfheartedly shakes his shoulder. “We have to get up”
“But I like it here”
“We have school”
“I don’t like school.”
“No one does but we have to”
“Reg,” he whines, pulling Regulus closer.
“No. Get up.”
“Ughhh”
Regulus finally gets James to get up five minutes later and he drags him into the kitchen.
Annie’s sitting there with her phone, and she smiles up at them. “Good morning, boys,” she grins. “Sleep well?”
They both make unintelligible noises as they sink into their chairs. Annie gets up, kissing Regulus’ hair on the way to the stove.
“Well, good thing I’ve made pancakes for you two.”
“I’ve never had pancakes,” Regulus murmurs into the table.
“What!?” James screeches. “How?”
“Dunno,” Regulus shrugs. Sirius told him once how he’d had them at a birthday party Regulus wasn’t invited to. He’d said they were like flat, small, round circles of heaven.
As Regulus bites into his first one, James’ warmth pressed against his side and Annie humming at the stove, he can’t help but agree.
***
The sleepover seems to have only encouraged James to follow Regulus around everywhere.
It‘s even gotten to the point where James skips his class to sit with Regulus in one he doesn‘t even take.
Regulus has even done it twice himself, once in an art class where he and James drew a wonky bird together called Francisco, and another in a maths class where Regulus literally knew more than James
Currently, they‘re walking to the assembly, arms looped together. Regulus knows it's only been three weeks but he feels like he can‘t breathe when James isn‘t around. They‘ve started doing everything together, and Regulus feels giddy from the warmth James emits.
This is the first assembly Regulus has been to, since this school only has them once a month, and even now he looks around for the long black curls that have claimed his sleep for themselves. He hasn‘t gone one night since That Night without dreaming of him. His eyes. His disappointment. The betrayal etched into his face.
Regulus shakes his head, leaning a little further into James‘ side, who slips his arm out of Regulus‘ and wraps it around him instead. Regulus finds James’ touch feels different now. Not like the others.
James‘ touch is warm. Soft. Safe. Regulus doesn‘t shy away from it, not usually, and he practically demands it sometimes.
The assembly is boring. It distracts Regulus for a good ten minutes, but as soon as he loses interest, his eyes are darting around again for the black curls.
He lets his gaze wander around the hall, walls covered in portraits of Alumni. He spots many different black curls, short ones, long ones, some more defined than others but none are him.
“Who are you looking for?” James’ voice startles him and Regulus whips his head around. “What? No one.”
”Right”
”No one, James”
”Okay”
”Okay”
Regulus looks back to the front of the room, jaw set, but then James leans in again.
“I could help, you know”
Regulus considers telling him, he does, he has, but then he’d have to tell him about That Night, and he doesn’t think he could bear to see the disappointment in James as well.
Regulus shakes his head and James nods with a small sigh.
It makes Regulus’ entire chest ache.