James' POV
"Knight to E3".
The white piece shifted diagonally across the chess board, stopping in a spot that made Peter snicker.
"Predictable," he muttered before giving one of his pieces a command. James watched as a black rook scratched against the board, approaching Sirius' white knight and decapitating it in one swift motion.
"Ugh, I give up!" Sirius threw his hands up as his knight crumbled before him. James chuckled as his friend collapsed onto the floor, the fireplace illuminating his distressed expression. Remus, who sat adjacently to James on the large velvet couch, closed his book and leaned forward, his gaze fixed on his partner's splayed body on the floor.
"I tried to help," he offered with a smirk. Sirius responded to his partner with an obscene gesture.
The fire crackled, highlighting the now almost silent common room. Most of the other students had retreated to their dormitories, aiming to get in some late night studying or head to sleep. Save for James and the rest of the group's chatter, the only sound was the occasional pop from the fire and Bowie's quiet singing from a vinyl Sirius had thrown on the record player when they'd arrived. His mood had been better then, before Peter forced him into playing wizard's chess (again).
"C'mon, Sirius. You can still win!" Peter exclaimed, though his mischievous grin suggested otherwise.
"No thanks, Wormy. Congratulations, you're the reigning champion of this game no one even cares about anymore," Sirius responded, rolling onto his stomach and laying his head down on his arms.
"Sore loser," Peter replied with a shrug as he reset the board. James looked up from his Charms notes to offer a supportive smile at his friend. He and Remus had opted to start their Charms essay early, though he was admittedly much further behind his friend, who'd already determined his research question and spells he'd be analyzing. James flipped through his ink splotched notes from earlier in the year, narrowing his eyes as he attempted to focus on the material in front of him.
Luckily, the portrait hole opened and familiar voices distracted him.
"You don't need him, Dorcas," Lily echoed as the group of girls rounded the corner. Marlene and Dorcas, arms linked, smiled softly at the group of guys before sitting together on a large armchair behind Peter.
Sirius sat up at Lily's words, who had just taken a spot on the couch between Remus and James, tucking her legs beneath her. Mary remained standing, intently reading a piece of parchment in her hands and whispering to herself.
"This isn't about...him, is it?" Sirius asked Dorcas. He shifted on the floor towards the couch, leaning his back against it. Remus' hands fell comfortably into his hair as he glanced towards Dorcas as well. But Marlene answered instead.
"We passed him on the way over," she said hesitantly. "They sort of got into a-"
"There was a disagreement," Dorcas finished with a shrug. "It's not a big deal. Let's drop it."
James furrowed his brow. "Who are you talking about?"
The girls averted their gazes from him and James closed his notebook, worry building in his stomach for his friend. Fortunately, Sirius chimed in.
"Your new boyfriend," his voice laden with irritation. James swallowed, memories of Regulus and Dorcas' friendship swirling in his mind. The two had been close, after all, Dorcas was still a Slytherin. But that all changed when Dorcas told him about Marlene. He took it personally, claiming she'd betrayed him and his friends and had ignored her ever since. James and his friends had welcome Dorcas into the group happily, but it was still hard for her.
James had always defended Dorcas. And he agreed with the others when they said Regulus was being overdramatic about the whole thing. But, there was a part of James that sympathized with him, and always had. It must've been hard, he figured, to lose his brother, take on all these new familial responsibilities, and then watch one of his best friends chose his ex-brother's friend over him.
He didn't say any of this, though. Instead, he smiled apologetically at Dorcas, who shrugged it off and changed the subject.
"Chess, Pete?"
Peter turned and grinned up at her before nodding cheerfully.
About an hour later, James had entirely abandoned his Charms work and was chatting intently with Mary about her Muggle boyfriend. Remus and Sirius had fallen asleep next to each other on the couch, pushing James to the end close to Mary, who now sat in the large armchair that Dorcas and Marlene had abandoned only moments ago. Lily had gone with them, claiming she needed her rest before some big Potions assessment tomorrow. Peter was asleep on the floor, snoring lightly and occasionally shifting to lie on his side or stomach.
"So anyway, now he sends this letter and I know I should trust him but he keeps mentioning this Cecilia girl, so what am I supposed to think?" Mary tucked her legs beneath her as she spoke.
James nodded slowly in response before shrugging. "It sounds like they're just friends, Mary. Didn't he send you Muggle candy or something last week?"
Mary's face twisted into a bashful expression, her fingers moving to her hair to twirl a piece. "I suppose..."
"Then it's all fine! Who wouldn't love you?"
Mary grinned before practically launching herself at James, throwing her arms around him and pulling him close. "Thank you, James," she said before removing herself from the hug and looking down towards Peter. The blond boy was blinking sleepily now, inhaling deeply when he noticed James and Mary watching him.
"Good morning, Wormy!" James smiled at his friend, who groaned before slowly rising to his feet.
"Good night," he replied groggily as he began trudging towards the dormitories. James chuckled at him and looked to Sirius and Remus. Remus had awoken since James last checked and yawned, his arms still wrapped around Sirius. He glanced carefully down at his partner before motioning for James to leave them be.
"We'll be up soon," Remus' voice was just above a whisper and James responded by blowing a kiss to him, making Remus grimace and laugh lightly.
"I should go too," Mary stood from the armchair and thanked James again before turning on her heel and exiting the common room.
James exhaled, gathering his Charms notes and extra parchment and shoving them into his bag. He felt a wave of tiredness overcome him as he focused on the now dying fire, which barely illuminated the room now. It was no surprise that Sirius and Remus were so quickly asleep. The room was dark, but warm and the record player had been turned off almost an hour ago.
Just then, Sirius shifted in Remus' arms, turning his body to curl into his chest. James found himself staring at the two, at the small smile that curved Remus' lips and the hand that lazily traced circles on Sirius' arm. They were so peaceful, so happy to just be with each other that James felt his chest contract at the sight.
And then he thought of Regulus. Of the pain Regulus carried with him so often. Of his always annoyed expression when he saw James pass by or wave. And he realized how much he hated that. And how much he wanted to just lie with him, like Sirius now did with Remus, and hold him. And tell him that everything would be okay and there was no reason to worry or think that he would ever leave him.
James felt a lump form in his throat and forced himself to look away from his friends, grabbing his bag and standing.
There was no denying it now: He was totally, absolutely, entirely consumed by Regulus. And he didn't think he could stand the thought of not telling him, of not at least letting him know. Even if Regulus did not return his affections, even if he avoided him for the rest of his life.
He needed to know.