The Golden Egg
Carina felt amazing, she had received her final score for the first task and received a total of 40 points, putting her in a tie with Harry Potter and Cedric Diggory, who were ironically both of the Hogwarts champions. Carina was ecstatic about this, although she would not show it, this brought a great deal of happiness for her, it felt incredible to be recognised for her talents and to receive perfect marks.
By now, the sun had just begun to set on the horizon, casting a golden hue on the magnificent castle. Carina sat on her bed pondering what had happened that day, despite the fact that she passed the first task flawlessly, there was a pit in her stomach. It had been there many times and Carina knew that before long it would grow into something overwhelming, something uncontrollable until it took over her very being. She had experienced something similar only a few months prior and sadly she knew that before long she would be continuing with the little habit that she had acquired, one that she had tried to stop but failed miserably in doing so for a long period of time.
Hastily, as if to distract herself, Carina took out the Golden Egg that she had taken from the dragon earlier that day. It supposedly informed her of the next task, and a failure to uncover its secrets would almost certainly mean that she could not proceed into the second task. Cautiously, she opened the egg, and to her horror though little surprise it let out an ear-piercing screech. Sighing, Carina put the egg away, deciding that she would put it out of her mind for the following days.
The next couple weeks passed Carina by in a sickening blur, her days were spent avoiding all members of her father's family and trying to ignore the little pit that rested in her stomach, she tried in vain to force it to go away, however it lingered there constantly taunting her mercilessly. She had discovered what the second task required of her, but since it was still a couple of months away, Carina simply decided to ignore it. Deciding to put it out of her troubled mind for the time being.
The only few glimpses of joy that passed her by was the rare moments that her and Fleur and occasionally Draco and Luna spent together, often catching up with one another by the Black Lake.
It was one of those moments currently, with Fleur and Carina sat by the Black Lake resting themselves on a willow tree that grew near it. The two of them basked in the little sun that was present, since it was early December, the golden autumn leaves decorated the space under the willow tree, giving it a comfortable and warm atmosphere. The two sat in a comfortable silence, simply enjoying each others company, until Fleur decided to speak.
"Devons-nous nous faire une promesse ?" ("Shall we make a promise to one another?")
"Bien sûr, quelle promesse?" ("Sure, what promise?")
"Nous devrions promettre que quoi qu'il arrive, où que la vie nous mène, nous resterons toujours les meilleurs amis, quoi qu'il arrive." ("We should promise that whatever happens, wherever life takes us, we always remain best friends, no matter what.")
Carina smiled at this, before promising that very thing to Fleur. Smiling, while doing so, it made her happy that she had found a best friend, a sister, someone she knew that she could always rely on. Carina knew that there was nothing that she would not do for Fleur.
Now, it was night and Carina was restless. She was unable to sleep, the voices inside her head grew and grew and grew. They were screaming at her, telling her that her mother's death was her fault, that she was worthless, that she was unlovable, that her father was better off without her. Although Carina hated to admit it, she wanted a relationship with her father, she longed to experience the kind of love that she was sure he gave to her sisters. She craved this desperately, but unfortunately Carina could not tell him this. She was unsure as to why every time she had an interaction with him she always ended up saying something vicious. He had sent her a letter inviting her for Christmas and instead of accepting, she burned it up, destroying its very existence.
4 year old Carina was walking Diagon Alley with her mother, they had just gone to Gringotts to sort out Magnolia's inheritance after her parents had caught Dragon Pox and died unexpectantly. Magnolia looked at her daughter lovingly, she was overjoyed that she was blessed with someone so perfect and precious, despite everything that had gone on with Carina's father, Magnolia wouldn't have changed a thing about her daughter for all the money or knowledge in the world.
Suddenly, as the pair of them arrived at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, Magnolia saw a man that she never wanted to lay eyes on for the rest of her existence: Sirius Orion Black. Her heart quickened, she would not let this vile man get the satisfaction of seeing or knowing her daughter. She had made a promise, one that she intended to keep. Just like any other Slytherin, Magnolia was exceptionally petty and did not want to give him the satisfaction of knowing her daughter, unless of course, it was under much more dire and miserable circumstances.
Just as Carina went to enter the shop, Magnolia stopped her and led her away.
"Why can't we get ice cream mama?"
Magnolia looked at her and sighed, "We can, just after someone leaves."
"Who?" Carina asked in bewilderment.
"One of the men in the shop is your father."
Carina's eyes brightened at this, she was excited at the prospect of finally meeting her dad, she had always dreamed about this moment for as long as she could remember. "Will I finally meet him?" she asked hopefully.
"No, he did not want you. He did not want anything to do with us." this came out sharper than Magnolia had first anticipated, however she did not want to lie to her daughter, and so she saw it fit to tell Carina the truth, however depressing it may be.
Carina looked down when her mother said this, but asked no further on the matter. Even at the age of 4, Carina understood that the world is a cruel place, and that not everyone is kind. She finally knew what she thought to be the truth, that her father wanted nothing to do with her, and could not care less about her.
Carina thought about this day often, perhaps if she had not accepted the truth so easily, if she had pushed for the matter, even maybe enter the shop, things might have been different, she might have grown up with a father, her mother might have decided to live.
These thoughts slashed through Carina's mind, engulfing her in a uncontrollable tornado, so vicious that she could not hear a single thing. This was sadly normal, silence was something that Carina craved, but was never granted.
And so, she did the one thing that she knew would get her out of the war in her mind, she picked up the little blade underneath her pillow, and brought it to her wrist.
One...
Two...
Three..
Four...
Five...
Six..
Seven...
Eight...
Nine...
Ten...
By now blood was coming out of her wrist, but the voices in her head had subsided, giving her a moments reprieve from the deafening noise. Carina sighed, she had told herself that she would get clean, that she would end the habit, that she would finally get help, but deep down she had always known that there was no helping her, she was broken.