Lily Evans sat at the edge of the Gryffindor common room, her favourite book forgotten in her lap as she stared at the fire, lost in thought. It had been a long day, and she was just starting to relax when she heard the familiar, loud laughter of James Potter and his friends. She felt her heart do that annoying little flip in her chest, the one that never seemed to fade, no matter how many times she tried to ignore it.
She tried to focus on the book again, but all she could hear was James’s voice, bright and carefree. He was talking with Sirius, and now and then the rest of the Marauders would chime in. Lily had always prided herself on her ability to keep her emotions in check, but James Potter… Well, he made things difficult. The way he spoke, the way he laughed—it was as though the entire world could revolve around him. She hated it, and she hated how much she couldn’t seem to stop noticing it.
Her eyes flickered back to the group, where James was now grinning mischievously, holding a quill in front of Peter’s face like some sort of weapon. Peter flinched back, eyes wide, but Sirius was laughing so hard, he nearly fell off the armchair. There was that smile again, the one that made her insides twist. He was frustrating, and he was kind, and he was always… there. She could never quite figure out what it was about him that made him impossible to ignore. Even when he was being obnoxious, there was something genuine about him, something real.
Lily bit her lip, trying to focus on the words in her book. It wasn’t working. Her mind kept wandering back to James. She hated how effortlessly he could steal her attention without even trying. There were days, especially after a long day of classes when she’d find herself on the verge of losing her patience with him. But somehow, even in the middle of her frustration, there was this quiet part of her that couldn't quite shake the feeling that he was different. That maybe, just maybe, there was something deeper beneath all the teasing and the bravado.
And then, as if he could sense her gaze from across the room, James’s eyes met hers. A split second passed before his grin faltered, just a little. He blinked, and in that blink, something soft and almost hesitant passed between them. A quiet understanding. Lily’s breath caught in her throat, her heart suddenly racing. She quickly looked down, her fingers tightening around the edges of her book. Why did he always do that? Why did he always make her feel like she was the only person in the room, even when he didn’t say a word?
The room felt too small, too close. She tried to push the feeling down, but it surged up again, that tug in her chest, pulling at her with a force she could never seem to resist. She hated that he had this effect on her. She hated that no matter how many times she’d told herself she didn’t care, she did. She cared more than she ever wanted to admit.
Her breath caught again when she glanced up, meeting his gaze once more. He was still looking at her, and his smile didn’t fade this time. It was softer though, more vulnerable. Lily could’ve sworn that the room went silent around them for a moment. The laughter of the Marauders and the crackling of the fire faded into the background, leaving just her and James Potter.
She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. All she could do was stare at him, her heart pounding in her chest, the words she had been holding onto all day slipping away. He was looking at her with something she couldn’t quite place—something that was both unspoken and loud all at once. She could feel the weight of the moment pressing down on her, a shared understanding between them, one that neither of them had ever voiced aloud, but both knew all too well.
Neither of them said anything, but neither of them looked away. Neither of them could.