Mabon's Miscellany

That's right folks, I'm tackling Hogwarts! Fundamentally, it's broken. There's one teacher for each subject, they teach all seven years, and the estimates for the population of Hogwarts are... varied. The Enspored One, may she rest in piss, put it at 1,000 students once, another time around 600, using the books you can get either 240-ish or somewhere in the 800s, which isn't taking into account the increased population size for Pellaras (see the five towns.) Classes are sometimes single House, sometimes double, sometimes all! Then there's the prep work, the detentions, the homework marking, patrolling the corridors at night, doing Head of House and Deputy stuff, non-school stuff like brewing up potions for the Hospital Wing. Do they sleep? No, really, how are they living beings? So we'll be tackling that, but first, the background stuff!

So, if you've finished Hymns of Hergest, or read The Monster Club or Librarians and Lunatics, then you'll know that I have a single consistent piece of worldbuilding. Hogwarts starting at 13 instead of 11. Now, is this because of my not wanting to write preteens? Partly, yes. But, there is a world-building reason! Historically, apprenticeships would start at around 13-14 years of age and would run about 5-9 years in length. So, we making it an apprenticeship! 13 is the start age, mandatory to learn until O.W.Ls, so 5 years, then you can keep going.

As for Hogwarts itself, it's a private school. "Oh, but homo, the books-" are lame. Seriously, there's one school! For an entire country! Said country apparently has anywhere from 3,000 to 15,000 citizens. That's right folks, the Enspored One placed Wizarding Britain's population around 3,000! Meanwhile, the QWC stadium housed 100,000 and was built by a team of 500. Which would place a sixth of the entire population working on it, and based on her number of 1,000 Hogwarts students a full third of the population are children. So, the first order of business, Pellaras has a population somewhere north of 60,000. Hogwarts is a private school, there's a decent chunk of public schools, with the other four towns having a notable school nearby. Hogwarts for Hogsmeade and, let's go with Ben Builg, having an acclaimed, specialized, school for, let's say, illusions. The reason Hogwarts is so vaunted is down to their range of education. "Oh, but homo, what about the Weasley's? They're poor, how are they going to Hogwarts?" What about them? None of them feature in the Ceridwen Collection so far, I have no plans to feature them, and they aren't even poor in the books.

That's right, they aren't. It's literally just set-dressing. They own land. And homestead their food. Do you know how expensive that is? They have an entire fucking orchard, for Christ's sake. Their poverty is literally just there so that Malfoy can make fun of them for it. So yeah, they can afford Hogwarts in the Ceridwen Collection because they have money. Okay, now to the actual staff for Hogwarts.

The books refer to Astronomy as the "Astronomy Department" one time, so I'm taking that and running with it. I have a different class list, but the same is going to hold true for the additional ones. Core subjects now have at minimum five professors, two dedicated to taking over for the N.E.W.Ts, the others taking on the O.W.L students. As an example of these changes, we're taking McGonagall.

She is no longer Head of House for Gryffindor. She's also not the Deputy Headmistress. Seriously, why does she have three jobs, is she trying to compete with Dumbledore? Instead, she is simply the Department Head for Transfiguration (which itself has been altered but I'll get to that) and a professor for the subject. Under her are the other four (minimum) professors, like normal in a school. "But homo!" you might be saying. "Why does McGonagall handle budgets in the last chapter og Hymns of Hergest if she isn't the Deputy?" Excellent question! It's her department's budget that she's handling. McGonagall teaches O.W.L students, so when her latest class graduates she takes on the new first-years - for example's sake, let's say that McGonagall takes two of the O.W.L years, one professor takes another two and the last takes the last.

So, it would be:

1. First Year - Unnamed 1
2. Second Year -  Unnamed 2
3. Third Year - Unnamed 2
4. Fourth Year - Minerva
5. Fifth Year - Minerva
6. Sixth Year - Unnamed One
7. Seventh Year - Unnamed Two

Which turns into:

1. First Year - Minerva
2. Second Year -  Unnamed 1
3. Third Year - Unnamed 2
4. Fourth Year - Unnamed 2
5. Fifth Year - Minerva
6. Sixth Year - Unnamed One
7. Seventh Year - Unnamed Two

The next year! Ya get the feel? It's a similar situation for the electives, where each elective department has a minimum of three professors, one for N.E.W.Ts this time with two for O.W.Ls, and they rotate the same in the O.W.Ls section, with the more experienced professor taking two years, the less taking one. That way, we don't have impossible schedules! Stressful? Absolutely, it's still a boarding school, but at least they aren't singular professors teaching seven years all at once! With all the changes added up, we have three professors for Charms, Transfig, Potions, DADA, Herbology, History of Magic, and Astronomy O.W.L.S, two each for N.E.W.Ts, which adds up to 21 Core O.W.L professors and 14 for N.E.W.Ts.

For the electives you get to choose from third year, the professor counts numbers 21, with 5 for the N.E.W.T-only subjects. Totaling it up, we get 61 professors total which, ya know, makes things way more manageable. Professors and Prefects no longer patrol the corridors, that's dumb, so we're having golems! 16, to be specific, two for each floor, and then one for each sub-level. Also, Argus isn't the custodian, because why are we having the one guy who is forever and always incapable of magic cleaning the castle? That's just insane! No, instead we're going the route of "For All Those Pages Thumbed" and having him be there for art restoration! Of course, we also have the Deputy Head position belonging to someone who isn't a professor. Then there's Madame Pomfrey, who also has some assistants, 3 specifically (2 to help brew potions, 1 for helping with the students) and then there's Madame Pince for the library, who has an assistant to help with restoring books.

Staff total:

1 Headmaster

1 Deputy Head

61 Professors (19 Department Heads, 4 Heads of House)

16 Patrol Golems

2 Restoreres (1 Art, 1 Book)

1 Librarian

4 Medical Staff (2 Front, 2 Back)

1 Groundskeeper

1 Quidditch Referee

Which would total 87 staff members. For reference, one of the schools I went to (which had somewhere around 1,000 students when I was there) has 32 staff members which is if we ignore the regular teachers, maintenance, janitors, etc. that were there. 32, just counting admin, heads, stuff like that. Compare that to the 19 staff members in the books, and the necessity of the change is obvious. Now that the staff is out of the way, we get to talk about the classes!

So! The canon classes. I'm not actually messing with those too much. Some renaming here, some tweaking there. My main issue with them isn't actually the content (well, with most of them it isn't the content) but their names. This might be the brand of autism I have (ooh, author lore!) but they irk me. We'll take them a class at a time, starting with the core classes.

Charms:

Okay, so Charms in canon are... very broad, to say the least. If it creates an effect, adds a property, or makes the target do something, then it's a charm, but the thing is, that's just what we know. My main issue is its name, however. Saying that the spell you cast was a charm is basically like saying you made bread bread. At least, from a real-life, occultist perspective, that is. A charm was just a word for a low magical operation. It's just a spell. So, what do we call it then? Well, that depends on the alterations I made to it. First of all, they can't fundamentally alter the Nature of the target (which is meant to be canon but Water to Wine is a charm for some reason.) Alter the State? The Aspect? Absolutely. Locks, for instance, have the State of locked or unlocked, which is altered. The Imperturbable Charm alters an Aspect, making it Imperturbable. Charms can also make things, as in canon, like Aguamenti makes water. So, given the practical, visible effects, and the wonderous acts of creation, it's being renamed Thaumaturgy. Literally translated to "wondermaking" thaumaturgy was, historically, mostly the manipulation of natural forces, the creation of wonders, and the performance of magical feats. Fairly obvious reasoning, I feel.

Transfiguration:

This one, I have issues with. So, transfiguring. Literally, to change the shape. Most of what we see of transfigurative magic involves changing the Nature of one thing to another, a bird to a goblet, a match to a needle. Why, then, is the creation of matter from nothingness a part of the discipline? And why is called conjuration? That's just wrong. Conjuration is known by another name in the field of magical study in the real world. Evocation. Crucially, conjuration is the summoning of spirits and spiritual entities, such as demons, or general supernatural agents. Not creation of matter from nothing. So we're removing conjuration from Transfiguration, seeing as it should never have been there. We're also changing the name to a more commonly used term for a real-world concept, Transmogrification.

Potions:

Honestly, not really any complaints here. If I wind up making some new potions, I'll probably lean on poetic linking and the Principle of Sympathy and the Principle of Contagion instead of the Infernal Chemistry route, but that's about it.

Defense Against the Dark Arts:

First of all, stupid name. Just, a stupidly long name. Also, it's the only defensive course they take, why are we focusing on specifically the poorly defined Dark Arts and "dark creatures" instead of broad defense? That's dumb! Instead, we have Apotropaic Arts, which focuses on apotropaic magic, namely magic used to protect oneself. In real life, apotropaic practices aimed to ward off evil, but it isn't that far a stretch to include active protection as well.

Herbology:

Again, no complaints here. It's just magical plants.

History of Magic:

Mostly a name change here, to Magical History. Seriously, it's not like they're learning about the history of magic itself, but the history of magical people.

Astronomy:

Again, no notes here. Studying the stars and the movements of the planets was actually something historical occultists did.

But now, we move on to the electives, which is where things are going to get more interesting.

Arithmancy:

And this is one of the changes that might be divisive. I'm getting rid of Arithmancy. "But homo-" Nope. No buts, it's going. I get that fandom loves making arithmancy overblown and the course anyone who has a slight brain cell takes because "OMG spell creation!" and, yes, I am also a fan of the Aritmancer 'verse (I mean it influenced The Monster Club's Hermione) but that makes no sense. Arithmos and manteia are the roots, maths, and divination. That's right folks, Arithmancy is fortune telling!! And no, it's not something like statistical prognostication, it's assigning specific meanings to specific numbers, and then using specific systems to do simple sums to calculate specific things. It is, as some assholes might describe it, "woo-woo bullshit." So yeah, we throwing Arithmancy out the window.

Care of Magical Creatures:

Right, good subject, very fun, bad naming though. Canon, both book and extended, makes it look less like general care and an intro to magical animal husbandry, so we're renaming it to Magical Husbandry!

Divination:

We're keeping the concept and the name, but completely reworking it so that divination is more than a joke.

Muggle Studies:

No notes really.

Study of Ancient Runes:

And here is where the majority of my issues show up. So, as a preface, one of my fields of study is Runology, and I hate the canon and fanon for this subject. So, first of all, runes are a really specific thing. It's not just a fancy word for a symbol in a writing system, that would be a glyph. No, a rune is one of the glyphs in the various futharks used by the Norse, and the futharks that descend from the the Norse. They stopped being used and developed around the 15th century unless we're talking about Dalarna and Dalecarlian runes which are tenuous and still being debated. Regardless, canon has one of the textbooks as "Magical Hieroglyphs and Logograms." Just one problem, however. HIEROGLYPHS AREN'T FUCKING RUNES!!! Hieroglyphs are a pictographic, logographic system of writing from Egypt. The ONLY similarity between hieroglyphs and runes is that they're both logographic. Also, depending on if you accept extended canon, there's a "runic" numerical system. One problem, though. THEY'RE FUCKING PICTOGRAPHS. They aren't runes. They aren't even a runiform, a system that looks runic, like what Tolkien made for his dwarves. Then there's the system of "OMG runes are used to enchant the super cool artifacts!!" that fandom has. Have I indulged, a touch, in that? Tangentially. As talismans. Which has historical precedence. You see, believe it or not, the Norse people were, shock, horror, people!! And they had beliefs about magic!! It wasn't just "Oh, these arithmantically determined runes will let me use a flaming sword!" no, the Norse believed that specific applications of runes could be magical, like with ale runes and victory runes like in Sigrdrífumál. There's also evidence of their use in divination via casting lots. Finally, using magical formulae, where the formula itself was what made the magic. Nothing like the fandom version. So, we're changing the entire thing. First of all, it's getting renamed Archaic Scripts, and it focuses on ancient writing systems, the manners in which their cultures used them to perform magic, and how to translate them.

There's also Alchemy for N.E.W.T students if enough people choose it, but canon has it as a combination of potions, chemistry, and transfiguration. Which just, completely ignores the religious element. Because, yeah, it started as a way to understand and utilize God's creation, to become closer to God. Now, onto the ones I've added!

Legerdemain:

Illusions! Seriously, for a world based on the Hidden World concept, it is shocking how we never see the idea of illusion magic implemented. So, legerdemain is more commonly applied to stuff like stage magic, but it can also be used for the idea of magic that alters the senses! So, what does Legerdemain cover? Well, the basics of creation illusions (illusions that create instead of hide), how to cast them, how to detect them, how to see through them, eventually how to make them affect senses other than sight, magic to hide things (Legerdemain is how most countries hide their locations.) On higher levels, Legerdemain focuses on things like Unplottability, the Fidelius, and that stuff.

Conjurations and Evocations:

That's right, we're doing something with conjurations! I called charms low magical operations, but conjuring and evoking is the archetype of magical operations in low magic, also called Goetia. C&E focuses on summoning spirits, supernatural agents, and the like, understanding how the magic works, how to identify a recent conjuration, how to bind the evoked beings, how to dispel them, and all that good stuff. This does mean they're learning how to summon demons and bind them, but for the theological side of Pellaras, we're going the dominion route, where all things are under the dominion of God's followers, thus demons are their's to bind and control. Are they actually Biblical demons? Not in this work at the very least. Future works, however? Now that would be telling.

Theology:

What the tin says. You'd be surprised how much theology you need to know to start learning about the occult. I mean, Theosophy and Gnosticism are a prime example. Same as Alchemy.

The following are N.E.W.Ts-only subjects.

Solomonic Studies:

Requires having taken Conjurations and Evocations, as well as the required grade in Apotropaic Arts and Thaumaturgy. The primer course for "warding" before you go off to get a full education, focuses on binding supernatural agents as a method of protection, as well as utilizing apotropaic items and symbolism alongside magical circles (which is where it gets its name from. Circle of Solomon and all.) Ministry employees who help keep up the Statute need a N.E.W.T at minimum in Solomonic Studies and Legerdemain.

Alchemy:

Actual alchemy, so essentially a form of proto-chemistry that you need to have taken Theology to take, uses elemental, humeric, and Form theory. Canon's conjuration is part of Alchemy, seeing as it's spontaneous generation which was a field of interest and study for alchemists.

Enchanted Portraiture:

Requires Conjurations and Evocations, as magical portraits use imps that are bound to them to recreate the subject's personality.

Artificing:

The creation of enchanted objects

Exorcising and Uncrossing:

Requires Theology and Conjurations and Evocations, focuses on undoing curses, bindings, and dealing with possessions. Required for Cursebreakers.

For ease of reading, the full list:

Altered Core:

• Thaumaturgy
• Transmogrification
• Potions
• Apotropaic Arts
• Herbology
• Magical History
• Astronomy

Altered Elective:

OWL

• Magical Husbandry
• Divination
• Muggle Studies
• Archaic Scripts
• Legerdemain
• Conjurations and Evocations
• Theology

NEWT

• Solomonic Studies (C&E Required)
• Alchemy (Theology Required)
• Enchanted Portraiture (C&E required)
• Artificing
• Exorcising and Uncrossing (Theology, C&E required)

As for the details, tables, baby! First, the core classes:

Professors with a little letter note next to their names are the House's  Head. Then, the electives:

But wait, that's not all! There's a spreadsheet for the admin as well!

I think I've officially lost any semblance of sanity I may have had. Obviously, the names of professors might change by the time they show up in a work, but they probably won't. I'd say about a 20% chance they change versus 80% if they stay the same. So, that's the background, the staff, and the subjects! Hope yall enjoyed!!