Chapter 2
Theo
Theo didn’t know why he had expected this year to be any different than any one in the past. Somehow, he’d envisioned that his last year would be the year where he would finally do something besides just, well… exist. He’d imagined that he would raise his hand to speak in class, that he’d try something new like, say, Quidditch, that he’d become someone people noticed, someone who people wanted to get to know. “Did you hear what Nott said in Potions the other day? He’s rather funny, don’t you think?” or maybe “I hope I get partnered with Nott in Herbology.” For the first time, Theo had allowed himself to dream of a life unburdened by his father’s fury, a life where he could step forward as a new version of himself, untouched by the darkness that had once defined him. He’s never getting out of Azkaban. He’ll never touch me again. He had to remind himself of these facts almost constantly– he’d become so accustomed to those feelings, he found it was hard to break the habit of constantly preparing himself for the worst.
During his time away from Hogwarts, he’d managed to convince himself that maybe, just maybe, he had a shot with her . With the girl of his dreams. Surely, with his newfound confidence and quick wit, he’d get her attention. She would notice him, and he’d catch her looking at him in class. He would approach her afterwards and ask if she wanted to study together (although neither of them really needed any help in that department). They would become friends, and he would compliment her, saying all the things he’d already thought in his head a thousand times. One thing would lead to another, and he’d work up the nerve to kiss her, and she would fall for him, maybe even become his girlfriend.
Of course, after only a few days of classes, Theo had quickly realized that he had been quite overzealous in his imaginings for this school year. Naturally, he’d done absolutely nothing of the sort, instead resuming his usual behavior which included sitting in the back of every class, talking to no one but Draco, Blaise, and occasionally Pansy, and holing up in his dorm or the library the rest of the time. He had no idea where all that misguided confidence he’d developed over the last few months had come from, but it was certainly gone now. It appeared that this year would be no different from any other, save for the fact that he was no longer being controlled by his sadistic father. He was fucking hopeless,
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You’re a fucking idiot, he muttered to himself. Hidden in a deserted aisle in the library, he wondered how the hell he was going to get himself out of this one. He had genuinely just been browsing, looking for some supplementary texts for his Ancient Runes course, when he’d overheard a conversation that made him freeze in his tracks.
“Okay, so we’ve written down every boy in our year, right?” He recognized the voice of either Padma or Parvarti Patil.
“I could have sworn there were five in each house, but maybe I’m wrong,” Fay Dunbar’s voice responded.
“I’m ninety-nine percent sure this is everyone. Anyways, out of this whole list, who would you most want to be pen-pals with? Obviously no Gryffindors for either of us,” said one of the Patils– ah, she’s a Gryffindor. Must be Parvati, Theo realized.
Dunbar giggled. “Umm, no judgment, right? Er, I wouldn’t mind being pen-pals with Finch-Fletchley. He’s quite fit. What about you?” she asked, still giggling.
“You know I’ve fancied Zacharias for ages. But I also wouldn’t hate being matched with Boot, although he’s a bit of a slag. Hermione, what about you?” Patil asked.
Theo froze. Granger was involved in this conversation? She certainly didn’t strike him as the kind of girl who’d sit in the library gossiping about which boy she’d like to be pen-pals with, but he supposed he didn’t really know her. Only what he’d observed, which happened to be quite a bit.
He heard a sigh, and then “Honestly you two, don’t you have anything better to do with your time? Perhaps, oh I dunno, studying?” Granger . Theo smiled to himself, realizing his instincts about her had been correct.
“Merlin Hermione, don’t you ever have fun? This is only our second day of classes. What could we possibly be studying?” Parvati grumbled.
Theo rolled his eyes– of course there were things to be studied. They had N.E.W.T.s to prepare for.
“In case you’ve forgotten, some of us have quite a few N.E.W.T.s to prepare for, and I for one would like to get a head start,” Granger shot back, and he found himself smiling again. “Besides,” she continued. “You’ve forgotten someone on your barmy little list.”
“What? No we didn’t,” Parvati protested. “We were quite thorough! Went through every house.”
“Clearly you weren’t thorough enough, because you did forget someone. You forgot Nott,” Granger said.
Theo nearly dropped the book he was holding, and suddenly realized he was just lurking there, listening to a group of girls talk about which boys they fancied. How fucking dodgy can I possibly get? He panicked. There was no way for him to leave his spot without the girls seeing him, so he had no choice but to stand here and continue listening.
“Who?” two voices responded in unison.
Theo’s stomach dropped. Fuck. They didn’t even know who he was. But Granger does, the voice in his head offered.
“Seriously? Theodore Nott, Slytherin? He’s been with us since year one,” Granger said, and his heart nearly skipped a beat. Silence followed her question, making him think the other girls had either stared at Granger blankly or shook their heads.
Granger sighed. “Honestly, you two. He’s quite shy, perhaps that’s why you don’t remember him. He’s rather tall, gets good marks, nice eyes, brown hair, dimples? Sometimes hangs around with Malfoy and Zabini? Does that ring a bell at all?”
Theo’s heart was racing now. Not only had Hermione Granger noticed him enough to realize his name was missing, she apparently thought he had nice eyes? And had noticed his dimples? And his marks?
“You’ll have to point him out to me, because I truly haven’t the faintest clue who you’re talking about” he heard Dunbar say.
“Theodore Nott. I think I do remember his face now,” Parvati said. “Bit weird, yeah? Doesn’t he look rather, erm… haunted?”
Ouch. Although, Theo thought, he probably did look rather haunted. Probably was rather haunted.
“Hermione, are you saying this haunted Slytherin chap is who you’d like to be pen-pals with?” Parvati pressed, her tone playful.
Granger sighed again. “I don’t know why you’re both so convinced you’ll be paired with a boy. I highly doubt the goal of this pen-pal business is to play matchmaker. But to answer your question, if I absolutely had to be partnered with a Slytherin, I suppose Nott would be the best choice out of the lot,” she said. “He actually strikes me as rather sweet. At least, for a Slytherin,” she added quickly.
“Interesting, Hermione. I never would have pegged you as someone who liked a bad boy, but I guess you’re full of surprises,” Parvati replied teasingly.
“Oh shut it would you? We’ve got to head to class. I can’t believe I wasted nearly my whole free period talking about this. Absolute waste of valuable study time,” Granger said, her voice beginning to fade towards the end. Breathing a sigh of relief that they had left and he wouldn’t have to spend the rest of the day lurking behind a bookshelf, Theo stepped out of his hiding spot and quickly headed to his next class. Rather sweet. If I absolutely had to be partnered with a Slytherin, I suppose Nott would be the best choice out of the lot, he recalled as he rushed to Charms. He could work with that.