Awakenings
Hermione awoke with a start, the remnants of a dream clinging to the edges of her consciousness. A dream of Severus, his dark eyes filled with a warmth she had never seen before, his lips pressed against hers in a kiss that sent shivers down her spine. She blinked, the dream fading as reality seeped in. Her head throbbed, a dull ache that was the unwelcome reminder of her overindulgence the night before.
She sat up, memories of the previous evening flooding back in a disjointed rush. The panic attack, the drugs, the kiss. A wave of shame washed over her. She had acted recklessly, letting her vulnerability get the better of her. And worse, she had kissed Severus.
Merlin, what have I done? she thought, burying her face in her hands.
She could barely remember the details, but the feeling of his lips on hers, the intensity of his gaze, lingered like a phantom sensation. Had she imagined it? Was it just a drug-induced hallucination?
The thought of facing Severus filled her with dread. How could she possibly explain her behavior? What if he was disgusted by her? What if he regretted the kiss?
She dragged herself out of bed, determined to avoid him at all costs. She would apologize later, when she had gathered her thoughts and regained some semblance of composure.
But fate, it seemed, had other plans. As she stepped out of her room, she nearly collided with Severus himself. He was carrying a tray laden with breakfast, a steaming mug of tea and a plate of toast with marmalade.
"Good morning, Hermione," he said, his voice gentle. He seemed completely unfazed by the events of the previous night.
"Good morning," she mumbled, avoiding his gaze.
"I brought you breakfast," he said, placing the tray on a nearby table. "I thought you might be hungry."
Hermione hesitated, unsure how to proceed. Should she apologize? Should she pretend nothing had happened?
Severus, sensing her discomfort, broke the silence. "Hermione," he said, his voice soft, "about last night..."
Hermione braced herself, ready for the inevitable rejection. But what he said next surprised her.
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"Hermione," Severus began, his voice low and hesitant, "about last night... I..." He paused, seemingly searching for the right words. "I want you to know that I don't regret it."
Hermione's head snapped up, her eyes wide with surprise. "You don't?" she whispered.
Severus shook his head. "No," he said, his gaze unwavering. "I've... I've been attracted to you for a long time, Hermione."
A wave of relief washed over Hermione, followed by a surge of something she couldn't quite name. Was it hope? Excitement?
"But," Severus continued, his voice regaining its usual firmness, "I also know that you were not entirely yourself last night. I don't want to take advantage of you, especially when you are..." he hesitated, searching for the right word, "...vulnerable."
Hermione nodded, understanding his concern. "I... I wasn't thinking clearly," she admitted, her cheeks flushing. "I apologize if I made you uncomfortable."
Severus stepped closer, gently cupping her face in his hands. "You didn't make me uncomfortable, Hermione," he said, his voice soft. "Quite the opposite, in fact."
He leaned in, his gaze searching hers. "But I want to be sure that when we... when we are together, it's because you want it, truly want it. Not because of any outside influence."
Hermione's heart fluttered at his words. He was being so considerate, so respectful. It was a stark contrast to the men she had encountered in the Muggle world.
"I understand," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Severus smiled, a genuine smile that lit up his face. "Good," he said. "Now, how about some breakfast?"
They sat down at the table, the awkwardness from earlier dissipating. As they ate, they talked about everything and nothing, the conversation flowing easily between them. Hermione felt a sense of connection with Severus, a bond that went beyond their shared past and their current predicament.
She realized that she was starting to see him in a new light, not just as her former professor or her protector, but as a man she could potentially... care for. The thought was both exciting and terrifying.