What to expect.
Title: A Monster’s Guide to Raising a Slytherin
Summary:
Harry Potter’s life hasn’t exactly been normal since the day he went missing at age six and ended up adopted by a cannibalistic monster in the middle of the woods. Now twelve and reluctantly navigating the social minefield that is Hogwarts, Harry is balancing his predator instincts with wizarding politics, a suspicious faculty, and a murderous diary that somehow ended up in his cauldron.
With a sharp wit, a disturbingly calm demeanor, and the moral compass of someone who’s seen way too much for his age, Harry navigates the chaos of his second year with the same detached practicality that let him befriend a monster with a taste for human flesh.
Between a basilisk, a diary with daddy issues, and staff members who seem genuinely concerned every time Harry does anything, it’s clear this year will be no less eventful than the last. But don’t worry—Harry has a simple philosophy to keep him grounded:
1. Don’t die.
2. Don’t let Teeth eat your classmates.
3. Probably don’t die.
Because when your parent is a monster and your Hogwarts career is this cursed, what could possibly go wrong?
Brace yourself for dark humor, awkward bonding moments, and a Harry Potter who’s far too comfortable around things with fangs.