What if

It had been a couple of days since the big blow up outside the bistro and Carla was struggling to cope with the remembrance of her miscarriage and Lisa's words just on a loop in her mind. 'no child deserves a mother like that, it’s a good thing that you're not a mum' Carla had tried really hard over the years to make herself believe losing her baby was not her fault but she never quite got there and now hearing such vicious words from the person who mattered the most to her weather she liked it or not had sent her back into a spiralling wheel of self-torture. She hadn't eaten in days and didn't speak to anyone not eve Roy or Ryan she just sat in one space on the couch staring into the distance and she only ever broke to go get files from the factory and if she did speak she snapped. Before things got bad she tried to remind herself that Lisa's words transpired out of anger but that was hard when the one thing she's always questioned herself about was being questioned by the most clueless but most important person. She couldn't cope.

Ryan had become severely concerned to the point her called Michelle for pointers. Carla hadn't spoken a word to him since she got home from the bistro after the fight but she just snapped at him and went in her room where he could hear her balling into a pillow. It was his mission for himself and for his mum to find out what had happened and he knew it wasn't going to come from Carla.

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Lisa had been up early as she promised Betsy an uninterrupted breakfast at Roy's without any work distraction. Lisa knew she had to stick to her promise as she knew Betsy was disappointed in her by the way she spoke to Carla but she was only doing what was right, well what she thought was right.  She was worried about bumping  into Carla after their showdown and worried about the judgement she may face from Roy although he did well at masking any judgement.

"Morning Detective Sergeant Swain" Roy seemed more chipper than she thought.

"Morning Roy, how are you"

"I'm okay thank you, just treating this one to breakfast"

She pointed towards Betsy but she was too engrossed in her phone.

"what can I get you both"

"just two coffees and two bacon barms please"

"no bother, take a seat and I'll bring them over"

Both of the swains took a seat in the middle of the café and Lisa managed to get Betsy to lift her face out of her phone.

"so….you spoken to Carla orrrrrr."

"No Betsy and I'm not going to so please stop asking so we can actually have an argument free breakfast" just as that Roy came over with their food.

"thanks Roy"

"yeah thanks… erm Roy you know Carla really well have you spoke to her recently"

"Betsy! What did I just say and leave Roy alone"

"it's okay Detective Sergeant, and in answer to your question Betsy Carla has taken a slight turn for the worst so I think it will be unlikely that you see her at work today"

Well if anything was going to catch Lisa's attention it was that.

"What do you mean, is she okay" Roy could see the panic in Lisa's eyes.

"She is just going through somethings right now and she isn't talking to anyone, if you ask me she's on a bit of a downwards spiral. I wish I could tell you more but Ryan probably knows more than I do." Roy went back to work and Betsy was ready to give her mum her 10 pence.

"you shouldn't of said those things to her the other week" Betsy huffed in a very serious and angry matter.

"Betsy I was sticking up for you and don't try to make out Carla's spiral is caused by me"

"mum there's sticking up for me and going below the belt and you went below the belt by bringing up things about Carla and saying she'd be a bad mother. You literally know nothing about her!"

"what and you do, you work for Carla that's it"

"Well whether it's through gossip or not I know more about her than you probably ever will now and she was right she's been closer to me in the past couple months than you ever have and I'm not trying to say you’re a bad mum but Carla has saw something in me that not even you have and she actually values me and respects me enough not to lie and sugar coat things which is why I trust her more than you and I'm sorry if you can't handle that but it's the truth. Yeah I freaked out when I heard you'd been together but that wasn't because of Carla it was because of you. You forgot about mum and Carla got the brunt of it because you were with her and it should have been you that I kicked off more at. You complain about me not acting my age maybe you want to practice what you preach." Betsy got up and stormed towards the door.

"oh Bets wait!" but she was already gone

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It was surprisingly quiet when Betsy got to work and just as Roy had said Carla was no were to be seen. Betsy just put her head down and kept herself to herself, she ended up putting her headphones in to drown out Sally yapping away. She was being very productive until she heard a door slam and when she looked up she saw Carla looking as pale as a ghost and her eyes darker than anything, Betsy could see her shaking as she walked towards her office doors. She wanted to check on her but after she heard the almighty scream and telling off that Sally got she decided not to. She felt guilty not only about the things she said but by the things her mum said too. She didn't know if the things the factory lot had said were true but then today when Carla was walking out of the factory with some files she saw a tiny pink baby blanket grasped in Carla's hand and all of a sudden everything made sense. She pulled out her phone and messaged her mum.

Betsy : Mum we need to meet up ASAP we've really messed up.

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Lisa stared at Betsy's message but she was too angry and wound up to reply right now, she needed a drink before she faced Betsy with whatever she was about to unload her on and also probably give her grief for but by the urgency of the message she knew she had to make the drink quick, so she stumbled into the Rovers Return praying that Ryan wasn't on shift.

As Lisa walked through the doors she was horrified by the sight in front of her, she must have just entered as Carla - a very broken Carla - was just about to leave. There was a moment of silence between the women before Carla broke the moment by storming out of the door. Lisa didn't think much into what Roy had said this morning as the man seemed unusually oblivious but seeing Carla she knew her spiral had taken over and boy was it bad. The Carla who usually looked so well and put together had crumbled. She was pale like a ghostly colour of pale, she was always thin but Lisa could tell she'd lost weight and she assumed she hadn't slept by the dark rings around her eyes. All Lisa wanted to do was comfort the women but she knew that was not her place and she doubted that the brunette would even want that with recent events and anyways she was supposed to be mad at her, this spiral wasn’t Lisa's fault. Was it? A question the copper now couldn't stop going over.

She moved her eyes away from the door and towards the bar where she saw Ryan's face taken over with worry and hurt and she was scared by the reception she'd receive when she went and ordered a drink from him.

"Can I have a large glass of red wine please Ryan"

"Ryan?" The boy was completely fixed with his eyes on the door racking his brain to think of anything that may have upset his aunt. Then he finally heard her.

"Ryan are you okay?"

"What - erm yeah sorry Lisa, what did you want again."

"Just a glass of red please"

"Coming right up"

"Look Ryan I know your probably not going to talk to me about what's going on but is everything okay with you? And Carla?"

"Why wouldn't I talk to you?" he quizzed with his brows furrowed

"Well you know after-"

"MUM…DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO ANSWER YOUR PHONE" Betsy came storming into the pub and slammed her hand down on the bar counter.

"Sorry Betsy I was just getting a drink before I came to see you"

"yeah well I think this is more important than a drink don't you?" Betsy scolded her mum.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work anyways" the detective took a huge swig of her wine while Ryan stood Idle waiting for Betsy's blow up to pass before he turned the attention back onto Carla.

"yeah well I was then Carla came into the factory and told us we all needed to leave and go home for the day."

"Right and when have you ever been annoyed by an early finish."

"yeah I usually am happy if we finish early but not when I know what we both know and Carla is paying the consequences."

"Woah woah woah go back Betsy, what do you know about Carla." Ryan quizzed

Both blondes turned to each other giving each other a sheepish look, Ryan caught the look and turned to whisper something to Jenny.

"come with me the pair of ye." Ryan nodded his head to the living room at the back of the bar and Lisa could tell she was now in the firing line.

"Right I want to know what you two know about Carla now."

"Ryan it's honestly not a big deal it was just a disagreement between Carla and I" Lisa tried to deflect as she still didn't know if anything she had said had caused Carla's downfall.

"ah a disagreement is that what you're calling it now."

"That’s all it was Betsy!"

"you literally said and I quote that it's a good thing she's not a mum and that no child would deserve a mum like her. Or am I wrong."

"You said what!" Ryan was in shock by what he had heard. He didn't think Lisa had it in her but now it made sense why Carla was being the way she was.

"we had a row and things got said, she's not completely innocent and all, it should all blow over anyways"

"No it won't" Both Ryan and Betsy said at the same time.

Lisa could sense she was missing something by the look both Ryan and Betsy shared with each other.

"right now you two are scaring me what do you both know that I don't"

Ryan rubbed his face in his hands trying to make sense of the last week before he aired his aunts information to the one person who should know but he knows his aunt wouldn't want to know.

"oh honestly Lisa man, of all the things you could've said"

"so it is true then" Besty sheepishly asked Ryan.

"yeah yeah it is"

"what's true? can someone please explain"

"Carla was pregnant a long time ago" Lisa's face hit the floor and drained of all the colour that was in it. "She was going through a lot at the time and Peter was causing her all sorts of stress and she lost the baby….she was 16 weeks with a little girl."

The guilt consumed Lisa's body, how on earth could she say such cruel things. "I-I-I didn't know"

"you wouldn't have, she never tells anyone I only know because my mum told me."

"she will come back from this though, won't she?" she dared to ask.

"I don’t know Lisa." Ryan was now sat on the floor with his head in his hands "I think she may have been pushed too far this time I mean you and I both know that's not the only time you've used the parenting card."

"what!" Betsy was stunned and turned to her mother who seemed just as confused staring at Ryan.

"What makes you the expert how many children have you raised" Ryan saw the penny drop "Ring any bells"

"wait so your telling me the other week wasn't the only time you've said something so hurtful."

"I know Betsy I made a mistake but I didn't know"

"regardless that’s such an awful thing to say regardless of what you do or don't know, you need to go and apologize now she's in the factory and no one is there."

"Bets she won't even want to speak to me"

"right now I don't think that’s the issue."

"I agree" Ryan interrupted "you need to go and apologize if not for Carla, and if not for you and if not for Betsy do it for me and Roy because we can't keep sitting here watching the person we love the most wither away. She doesn’t talk and she doesn't eat she just sits staring into an abyss of darkness and I can't lose her and I know you can't either." Ryan's voice broke into a sea of tears

"okay okay I'll go speak to her, it's going to be okay" she brings Ryan in for a hug.

"I'm coming too"

"no Betsy you stay here with Ryan and I'll come back and get you."

"no I have things I need to apologize too, I'll say my piece and come back here so you two can talk"

"okay well lets go then"

Lisa and Betsy made their way out of the pub and on the way to the factory to find Carla. However, when they arrive to the door hassled open and they see the disturbance that has been caused they rush towards Carla's office where not a pretty image in fact a very gruesome image sits before them.