Sweets aren't sweet.
Lily loved Hogsmeade; it made her feel more at home. Hogwarts could often feel overwhelming like she had wandered into a storybook, but Hogsmeade had a comforting charm that felt grounded. Walking through the little town with her friends, window shopping in her floral dress and black Mary Jane shoes, was her favorite pastime.
Beside her, Mary walked with their arms intertwined, her thick, 3C curls pulled back into a high ponytail. The bright colors of her crocheted top paired perfectly with a cozy faux-fur vest, a flowy skirt, and knee-high boots. Mary always looked effortlessly stylish, and Lily admired the way she seemed to know instinctively what worked best for herself—and for everyone else. A talented beater on the Quidditch team, Mary shared her position with Sirius, who often teased her for being the better strategist.
Ahead of them, Marlene walked out of earshot, catching up with her childhood friends, James and Peter. Her platinum blonde hair and punk-inspired style made her stand out wherever she went. Today, she was rocking a ripped band tee under a studded leather jacket, paired with a tartan skirt layered over tights and scuffed black Doc Martens. Her fingers were weighed down with chunky rings, and she had hoops that she would inevitably complain were too heavy later, shoving them into Lily’s bag for safekeeping.
“So, remind me again what it is we’re looking for, for your presentation?” Mary sighed, leaning heavily into Lily as if her legs had suddenly stopped working. It was a habit of hers on her days off from Quidditch, and Lily stumbled slightly before laughing.
Lily pulled a small notebook from her tote bag, flipping it open with practiced precision. “First, Scrivenshaft’s for poster supplies, then J. Pippin’s Potions for project ingredients. After that, you specifically requested a stop at Brews and Stews for coffee—which, I’ll admit, is a must.” She smiled giddily at Mary.
Mary let out a dramatic sigh, nodding emphatically. “Yes. Coffee, please, Lily. How these animals survive most days without it is properly insane.” She waved her hand lazily toward the group ahead of them, rolling her eyes for effect.
“Don’t be so dramatic, Mare. If you want, we can stop there first.” Lily sighed and slipped her notebook back into her tote.
Mary grinned and eagerly dropped Lily’s arm, skipping ahead to catch up with Marlene to tell her about the plan change. The boys slowed their pace, waiting for Lily to catch up. James clicked his tongue in mock disapproval as she approached. “What, no breakfast at The Three Broomsticks with us? Don’t tell me you’re ditching us for coffee.”
He slung his arm toward her shoulders, but Lily sidestepped him, watching as James stumbled slightly before recovering. “No thanks, Mary and I want coffee.”
Remus, who had been trailing just behind Sirius, made a small hum of agreement, nodding as he stepped closer to the group. He had been deep in whispered conversation until the group paused. James coughed awkwardly, brushing imaginary dust off his jacket after the bruise on his abnormally large ego.
“I could use some coffee,” Remus shrugged, stepping over to stand beside Lily.
James groaned, throwing his head back as if the thought physically pained him. Sirius immediately followed suit, as usual. The whining began in earnest.
“Ditching us already, Remus?” Peter laughed, watching as James and Sirius clung to their friend like heartbroken idiots.
Men used to go to war, Lily thought wryly, holding back a smirk. The phrase was a running joke Marlene had coined for moments like this, whenever James or Sirius turned up their theatrics to an almost comical degree. As if reading her mind, both Mary and Marlene leaned toward her, sharing identical looks that clearly said the same thing.
James and Sirius didn’t relent, pleading dramatically with Remus as though his decision to grab coffee with the girls was the ultimate betrayal. After a near-constant stream of begging and declarations of doom, Remus sighed and walked off with the girls, leaving the duo behind to perform their tragedy on the cobblestone.
James and Sirius dropped to their knees as if it were the end of the world, calling after their friend in mock agony.
Lily hated it.
It wasn’t something she voiced to anyone often—certainly not to Remus, who loved his friends—but she couldn’t stand the way they groveled on the ground like that and still managed to be seen as the masculine, confident guys they presented themselves to be. It grated on her, the glaring imbalance of it all. Because if she got on her knees and begged Remus as a joke, just like they did, there would be whispers about her within minutes. Whore rumors would spread like wildfire through the halls of Hogwarts, staining her reputation over something that barely registered when they did it. The thought made her stomach twist.
“Everything alright?” Remus nudged her gently as Mary and Marlene skipped giddily ahead toward Brews and Stews, their laughter carrying on the chilly breeze. God bless the woman who created Remus Lupin, Lily thought. Somehow, he was always in tune with her, even when she hadn’t said a word.
Being a little bit of a punk himself, Remus wasn’t entirely innocent of the Marauders’ pranks. If she were being honest, he probably planned more than half of the ones they executed. But he was different from the others. Kinder, more thoughtful, and capable of moments of stillness that James and Sirius couldn’t seem to manage.
Remus had struggled with reading during their first two years at Hogwarts, something Lily remembered helping him with. But even then, his intelligence was apparent—a sharp, creative mind that valued knowledge as much as she did. She loved being around him for that. It was so much easier to relax in his presence than it was with Severus, who, though brilliant, only ever seemed interested in potions and what knowledge could do for him.
Sometimes, she wondered if this was how she was supposed to feel about boys.
Lily simply nodded at his question, falling naturally into a conversation about their respective projects. Remus listened intently, chiming in with his thoughts, his curiosity genuine and easy. Ahead of them, Marlene was belting out the chorus of a song at the top of her lungs, completely undeterred by the crowd in the street.
By the time they reached the coffee shop, Lily felt lighter.
It took nearly half an hour before Marlene inevitably shoved her jewelry into Lily’s bag. She stretched lazily, her hands clasped behind her head as she leaned far back in her chair, balancing on two legs. In her other hand, she held an iced coffee, its color almost white from the obscene amount of sugar and cream she’d added. Typical Marlene—badass to the core, but unable to stomach the taste of actual coffee.
Mary, on the other hand, sipped slowly on an espresso. She was in her element, gleefully recounting the latest house drama. “And then Lacy Haslow walked in on Garrett Watt—can you believe it?—with her brother!” Mary gasped dramatically, her voice rising as she leaned forward for effect. Lily couldn’t help but laugh as Mary spun her tale, full of animated hand gestures and expressions. Truthfully, Lily didn’t care much for the daily whirlwind of Hogwarts gossip, but that didn’t stop her from eating up Mary’s retellings. There was something about the way Mary talked—fast-paced, vibrant, and unapologetically—that made it impossible not to get swept up in her stories.
Leaning forward on her elbows, Lily grinned and smacked Remus’ arm repeatedly as she laughed in shock. “No way! Did that happen?” she asked, though she knew the answer didn’t matter. Remus chuckled softly, his coffee mug held loosely in his hand. He wasn’t particularly invested in the drama, but he was like Lily—a sucker for a good story, especially when it was delivered with Mary’s energy.
Marlene groaned loudly, tipping her chair forward with a thud. “Ugh, enough about Garrett Watt,” she declared, stabbing at the ice in her coffee with her straw. “That guy couldn’t be more boring if he tried.”
Mary shot her a mock glare, flipping her ponytail dramatically. “You’re just mad because you’ve got no tea to spill.”
“Oh, please,” Marlene scoffed, rolling her eyes. “I’ll spill some tea all over you.”
Their bickering was familiar, lighthearted, and comforting in its way. Lily sat back, watching her friends with a smile, the weight of her earlier frustrations temporarily forgotten.
By the time they met up with the boys and had started making their way towards their errands, Lily had successfully managed to level herself again. Her earlier frustration had faded, replaced by the comforting simplicity of walking through Hogsmeade with her friends. Smiling softly, she wandered through the shop, scanning the shelves for the cheapest available supplies.
Her mind drifted to her lab partner, Dorcas Meadowes, who wore gold jewelry in her braids and carried herself like the pureblood aristocrat she was. Dorcas would be disappointed if Lily returned with budget materials for their project. Disappointed—and vocal about it. Lily sighed and shook her head, rolling her eyes at the imagined conversation. She hated asking for help, especially when it came to money. Her family wasn’t wealthy, not in the real world or the wizarding one, and she didn’t like drawing attention to it.
Turning around, she spotted James and Marlene a few aisles over, poking at items on the shelves and snickering like children. Marlene held up an oversized quill that sparkled obnoxiously, waving it in James’s face while he gestured wildly at an elaborate set of parchment that probably cost more than Lily’s house in galleons.
Lily scoffed under her breath, marching toward them. She opened her mouth, ready to ask for money, but what came out instead was a flat, “You don’t need that.” Damn her logical thinking.
James gave her a sideways look, clearly unimpressed. “You wound me, Evans,” he said, clutching his chest dramatically. “How am I supposed to write my brilliant essays without the proper tools?”
Marlene laughed, wrapping both arms around Lily from behind and shaking her lightly. “What about you, Lils? What did you pick out for your project?” She glanced at Lily’s empty hands and frowned. “Money tight again, love?”
Lily stiffened slightly, her cheeks flushing. “I’m just looking,” she said quickly, shrugging off Marlene’s arms. “Haven’t decided what I need yet.”
Marlene tilted her head, unconvinced. “You’re not buying that cheap rubbish, are you?” she asked, gesturing toward the bargain bin Lily had been browsing earlier. “Dorcas’ll have your head if you do.”
Lily’s stomach twisted. What an ass. Girls could be mean sometimes—mean. And Marlene? She could be the absolute worst about it. She never intended to be cruel, but damn if her words didn’t cut deep.
Marlene and Mary both had a knack for comments like that, little jabs about Lily’s weight, her hair, or whatever else struck them at the moment. Most of the time, Lily let it roll off her back. Other times, she hated them for it, wishing they’d just shove off and leave her alone.
Of course, she wasn’t innocent either. She’d made her fair share of careless comments, the kind that probably stung just as much as Marlene’s did. It wasn’t an excuse—it was just the truth.
“I’ll manage,” Lily replied, her voice sharper than she intended.
Marlene raised an eyebrow, but James spoke before she could say anything else. “Alright,” he said lightly, leaning against the shelf, though his watchful gaze lingered on Lily.
Marlene pulled back, twirling the quill in her hand and pretending to examine it as if the tension in the air wasn’t thick enough to cut. James shifted his weight, his expression neutral, but Lily could tell he was holding back a comment.
She didn’t want to look at either of them. Didn't want to give them the satisfaction of seeing the frustration bubbling beneath the surface. Instead, she turned back toward the shelves, scanning them with an intensity she didn’t feel.
By the time James had moved on from the glittery quill and Marlene had sauntered off to inspect the enchanted diaries, Lily was left standing alone in front of the bargain bin. She stared at the collection of mismatched supplies, her hands tightening into fists at her sides. She hated this—hated the helplessness, the feeling of being scrutinized, of knowing they all saw through her attempts to act like she wasn’t struggling. James Potter couldn’t help but be selfless, it was probably somewhere in his blood alongside egoism and perfectness.
“Evans,” James said suddenly, breaking her thoughts. He was standing a little too close now, his eyes fixed on her. His voice was quieter than before, almost careful. “What do you need? Just let me—”
“No,” Lily snapped, cutting him off before he could finish. The sharpness in her tone made James blink in surprise. She turned to face him, forcing herself to steady her breathing.
James raised his hands in surrender, the faintest smirk tugging at the corner of his lips despite the tension. “Alright, alright,” he said lightly. She turned away quickly, grabbing the cheapest set of potion vials she could find and heading for the register before James could say anything else.
The rest of the afternoon felt easier, thankfully. The group wandered through Hogsmeade, the crisp autumn air nipping at their cheeks and noses. The streets were alive with the hum of students laughing, chattering, and darting in and out of shops. For a while, Lily let herself enjoy the company of her friends.
When they finally arrived at Honeydukes, the warm, sugary scent of fudge and licorice immediately enveloped them. The shop was vibrant and crowded, every shelf bursting with colorful sweets and treats. Lily couldn’t help but feel a spark of joy watching her friends scatter like kids, each darting toward their favorite candies. Marlene was loudly debating with Mary over whether the Sugar Quills were better than the Peppermint Toads, her hands waving animatedly as Mary laughed. Sirius was perched near the counter, piling absurd amounts of candy onto the register while Peter hovered nearby, sneaking a piece of fudge every time Sirius wasn’t looking.
Lily found herself gravitating toward Remus, who was carefully stacking an armful of sweets, mostly chocolate. His brows slightly furrowed as he tried to stop the teetering tower from collapsing.
She raised an eyebrow at him, a smile tugging at her lips as she took in the ridiculous scene. “Sirius buying?” she asked, her tone light as she reached out to steady the pile before it toppled over entirely.
Remus glanced at her, his usual calm demeanor broken. His eyes crinkled at the edges, and a boyish grin spread across his face, as though the very idea of buying all of these sweets was absurdly delightful. “Obviously,” he replied, his voice carrying a hint of amusement. “This much chocolate? Do you think I’d spend my own money on it?”
Lily laughed. “Honestly, how do you lot eat so much of this without getting sick?”
“It’s a gift,” Remus replied as he tilted his head dramatically. “One Sirius Black fully endorses, by the way.”
Lily shook her head, still smiling as she walked alongside him toward the counter. The golden light from the shop’s lights reflected off the glossy sweets wrappers in his arms, making them glimmer. Lily felt a light tap on her shoulder. Turning, she found Marlene standing there, her blue eyes glinting mischievously as she held up a box of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans.
“Bean challenge later, Lils? I’m feeling lucky,” Marlene said, her voice filled with bravado. She waggled her eyebrows for emphasis, making Lily snort.
Lily smirked, crossing her arms over her chest. “You mean lucky enough to avoid a vomit-flavored one?” she asked, one brow arching skeptically.
“Exactly.”
Lily rolled her eyes but nodded. Marlene giggled as she went to place the box onto Sirius’ pile. The group began to reconvene near the register, arms full of sweets and laughter spilling between them. James sidled up beside Lily, his eyes sparkling mischievously as he gently nudged her arm.
“Evans,” he murmured, his voice low enough to catch her attention but not the others. “Got a second?”
Curious, Lily followed him toward the door. James turned on his heel, and with a flourish, he presented her with a heart-shaped chocolate box. The thing was so over the top that it practically glittered under the shop’s lights.
Lily froze, her eyes narrowing as her cheeks flushed bright red. Every head in the shop seemed to swivel toward them, and her voice dropped to a sharp hiss. “What the hell are you doing, Potter?”
James, predictably, ignored the warning in her tone. With that signature mix of confidence that only he could pull off, he took a step closer, holding the box out like it was the crown jewel.
“For you,” he said, his grin widening to its full, boyish charm. “Because I figured you could use something sweet today.”
Lily’s jaw dropped, her mouth opening and closing as words failed her. The box shimmered in the light, catching tiny glimmers of gold and red that only made it more obnoxious. She could feel the weight of everyone’s stares pressing down on her, anticipation hanging in the air like static.
“Are you serious?” she finally managed, her voice a sharp mix of exasperation and disbelief. This was exactly what she hated about James Potter—he could never just leave her alone. He always had to make a spectacle, always trying to win her over. She’d rejected him more times than she could count, starting back in their first year, yet he never seemed to get the message. And now, this? In front of so many people?
James opened his mouth, probably to deliver some clever retort, but Lily didn’t give him the chance. Her embarrassment burned across her cheeks, and she shoved past him without a second thought. She didn’t stop to see the looks on her friends’ faces or listen to Sirius’s inevitable cackling. All she cared about was escaping. Lily bolted out of the shop and up the hill toward Hogwarts, her steps quick and uneven as her emotions churned inside her.
She didn’t care how ridiculous she looked—running through the town, her bag clutched against her chest as her Mary Janes clanked against the cobblestones. She just needed to get back to her dorm, to hide under her covers with a book, to forget everything that had happened.
The castle loomed closer, its warm glow a welcome sight. She pushed herself up the final stretch of the hill, her breath coming in sharp bursts as the cold air stung her lungs. By the time she reached the Gryffindor common room, her heart was pounding—not from the run, but from the frustration. Her feet felt heavy as she entered the common room. Lily made a beeline for the stairs, when she reached the safety of her dorm, she threw herself onto her bed, the familiar, comforting scent of the room washing over her. She kicked off her shoes and buried her face in her pillow, trying to muffle the scream that was building in her chest.
Why couldn’t he just take the hint? Why did he have to keep making things so complicated? She had enough to deal with, and she didn’t need James Potter—of all people—adding to the weight of it all.
With a frustrated sigh, she rolled over and grabbed her book from the nightstand, the cover offering a sense of solace. She flipped it open, but the words blurred as tears began to form. She yanked the covers over her head, trying to shut out the world, but it didn’t help. The tears came, slow at first, then faster, hot against her cheeks.
She heard the door to the dorm open, the deep breaths that came flooding into the room indicating that Mary and Marlene had chased after her. Mary was the first one at her side, poking her head under the blanket and wrapping Lily in a hug.
Lily didn’t say anything at first, feeling a lump form in her throat once again. She didn’t know how to explain it, how to put into words how exhausting it was, being constantly on the receiving end of James Potter’s persistence, his attention that was always just a little too much, a little too intense.
Mary, still holding her, pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. Just breathe.”
Lily shook her head, sniffling as her arms tensed around Mary. “I’m just... I don’t know what to do with him anymore,” she finally whispered, her voice cracking with emotion. “He won’t leave me alone, and it’s... it’s like he doesn’t get it. I don’t want this. I don’t want him always in my face, always thinking he can win me over with whatever he does.”
Marlene stepped closer, leaning against the bed. “James can be a lot,” she said quietly, her voice uncharacteristically soft. “ He doesn’t know how to back off, and that’s on him, not you.”
“I know,” Lily murmured, but it didn’t make it any easier to bear.
Mary stroked her hair, her touch gentle. “You don’t have to figure it all out right now. Just breathe. We’re here.”
For a moment, the three of them sat there in silence, Marlene eventually moved to the bed, hugging the other side of Lily. Soon enough the three girls were cuddled up on Lily’s twin bed in silence. Just trying to be there for the other.
When Lily finally managed to bring herself back to reality she promptly began to scold herself aloud. “What right does he have to publicly humiliate me like that? And for me to come back and cry instead of telling him off!”
Mary hopped up quickly, Marlene taking a second to handle the abrupt change in demeanor. Mary’s face lit up with a mischievous spark, and before Lily could process it, she was on her feet, bouncing around the room. “Yes! Yes!” she cheered, throwing her hands in the air as if they were at some sort of motivational rally.
“What right does he have?” Lily repeated, fuming as she sat up. “To make me cry like that, to make me feel... feel so ridiculous?”
Lily let out a frustrated groan, grabbing the nearest pillow and throwing it at Marlene, who exaggeratedly “died” from the impact, collapsing onto the bed in an overly dramatic fashion. Marlene’s laugh echoed through the room as she flopped sideways, pretending to clutch her chest as if wounded.
“You’re both ridiculous,” Lily said, trying to suppress her laugh, though it was clear her mood was lifting. She fell back into the bed, leaning against the headboard, eyes closed as she let out a long breath. “I just want to scream sometimes, you know?”
Marlene sat up and tugged at her long hair. Twisting it into a makeshift mustache, her expression going all serious as she crooned, “But baby, I love you!”
Lily’s eyes widened in mock horror, letting out an exaggerated scream as she grabbed the nearest pillow and hurled it straight at Marlene’s face. “No!” she cried, throwing herself dramatically across the bed to avoid the oncoming wave of Marlene’s ridiculousness.
But it didn’t stop there. Mary joined in with a laugh, taking her pillow and swatting Marlene from the other side. The two girls were relentless, knocking Marlene back with perfectly timed strikes as Marlene shouted, “You’re my sunshine, my only sunshine!” and “I just can’t live without you!” in deep, over-the-top voices. Batting at the pillows with her hands, but the girls were relentless.
Lily’s sides still ached from laughter as the three of them finally started to settle, their giggles dying down to contented chuckles. Marlene and Mary, their faces flushed and wild from the pillow fight, dropped their weapons and exchanged sympathetic looks. Lily shook her head, a soft but determined smile tugging at her lips. “I’m not going to let James Potter get to me,” she muttered, more to herself than anyone. “He’s simply not worth crying over.” She huffed, tossing her pillows back on the bed, and starting to remake it.
Mary nodded in agreement, her smile reassuring as Marlene, ever the instigator, grabbed the bag from her bed, a glint of mischief in her eyes. “So, a bean challenge?” she suggested, a wicked smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. Mary immediately fakes gagged, shuddering dramatically. Lily let out a calming breath, her eyes narrowing at the bag, but her lips curled into a reluctant grin.
“Alright, fuck it.”
The rest of the afternoon blurred by in a flurry of laughter, absurdly gross Bertie Bott’s beans, and the occasional shriek of disgust as one of them accidentally chewed on something vile. It felt good—really good—to be away from the drama and just lose herself in something as stupid as sweets challenges with her friends.
By the time they finally noticed the time, it was halfway through lunch, and they could faintly hear the distant cheers from the Quidditch stands. The room was quiet now, save for the soft snores of Marlene and Mary, both of them slumped comfortably in her lap after their sugar crash.
Lily rested a hand on Mary's head, her fingers running lightly through her friend's hair as she gazed at the ceiling, lost in thought. She couldn't help but wonder about Dorcas Meadowes. Her thoughts drifted, wondering how many points Dorcas had scored and whether her lab partner was racking up points as usual.
With a soft smile, Lily leaned back against the headboard, her fingers brushing against the worn pages of her book. She hadn't even realized she'd picked it up again. But now, it was just a quiet moment, and she savored it. Sometimes, that was all she needed.