She Traitor

Sarah was walking down the hall when she noticed a group of students hiding in an alcove.  There was no doubt that they were hiding there for something that was definitely not according to the rules.  Barty Crouch, Rabastan Lestrange, Dean Flint, and Sybila Trelawney sat on the windowsill.  The magic cards were laid out on the table, and even though Sarah hesitated for a moment, she couldn't help but stop.

Barty spotted her first and addressed her with his signature smirk.  “Ah, Potter.  It seems destined to run into me again, don't you think?” His tone was his usual all-too-light tone, but somehow it sounded different than usual – less condescending, more… curious.

Sarah looked at him and shrugged.  "I hope you don't think that I want to bump into you on purpose, only someone with a brain defect would do such a thing."

Rabastan laughed.  "Well now I'm not sure if that was meant to be an insult to my person, Potter."

Sarah glared at him but chose not to comment.  Instead, she looked at Sybil, who was sitting at the table, looking like she was somewhere else entirely.  "I don't know about the others, but I would expect that the generally known fates brought you here.  Should I be worried about something happening here?” she asked with a small smirk, knowing that Trelawney was always a bit off.

"Fate?  Fate is like a card that is turned at the last moment, it is possible that something will happen, but fate is still deciding," Sybil muttered, squinting at her.  "But still... you'll be surprised what awaits you..."

Clearing her throat to stop her laughter, Sarah turned to Barty.  "Okay, I think it's safer to ask about the cards." Her tone was unusually friendly but exhausted at the same time, and of course Barty noticed and, as always, chose not to point it out.  Sarah didn't know that Barty could see it, she rather tried not to let anyone see.  Barty was just one of those people who could get all the rage Sarah had left, which wasn't much, but he still had the ability.

"Oh, I know how you see it, Sarah," Barty replied with a slight smirk.  “You're always so uptight when it's not about your own plans.  We can have it next time, when you have enough courage... or at least time.'

Sarah sighed in frustration, Barty was right that she never joined other people's plan lately, but she didn't know how he noticed.  "Fine, if that's what you want, go ahead.  But I'd rather leave it up to you today," she replied, turning to continue on her way.  She didn't understand why she was even staying here.

At that moment, Professor McGonagall appeared in the corridor.  She saw the group having a carefree time and her expression immediately hardened.  "What are you doing here?" she growled at them.  “Crouch, Lestrange, Flint, magic cards?  This is completely unacceptable!”

Everyone froze.  Rabastan smiled, but stopped immediately when he saw McGonagall set her sights on them hard.  Dean looked like he wanted to sink to the ground and Sybil just watched as McGonagall approached.  Barty looked at her and said with a smile.  “Well, Professor, we just had a little fun.  What's wrong with that?"

"What's wrong?" McGonagall moved closer, her voice dangerous now.  “You are playing a forbidden game, Crouch.  And that means I won't just ignore it.  So you want to get into trouble?"

Barty tried to stay calm.  “Sorry, Professor.  We won't do it again.”

Sarah sighed and was about to leave when McGonagall noticed her and her gaze locked on her for a moment.  “And you, Miss Potter!  What are you doing here?'

Sarah froze.  "I was passing through here.  I just stopped by to…”

"You were part of this event?" McGonagall interrupted her.  Her gaze was hard, but she didn't seem entirely convinced.

"No, Professor," Sarah began, but her words didn't sound entirely convincing.  "I was just here by chance, I wasn't playing..."

"Yet you were in the presence of these students engaging in illegal activity," McGonagall said, her voice cold.  "There will be consequences for everyone involved."

Sarah looked at Barty and Rabastan who seemed to have a similar opinion.  "I'm sorry, Professor," Sarah said, though it sounded more like an excuse.  "I didn't know that was a problem."

“Of course that's a problem, Miss Potter.  And if something like that happens again, I won't have a choice,” McGonagall replied before turning to the other students.  “Everybody go to your dorms immediately and I'll catch you tomorrow.  And you, Miss Potter, prepare your notes on the offenses you have just committed."

Sarah looked at McGonagall and sighed heavily.  "Understood Professor."

As the group began to get up and chase each other as they left for their dorms, Sarah turned to leave as well, only to be stopped in her tracks by Barty.  He joined Sarah with his signature smirk.  But this time he didn't seem as arrogant as he used to be.  Maybe it was what happened, or maybe it was just the way today's incident unfolded.  Anyway, Barty approached her and stopped.

"So it seems, Miss Potter," he began, his tone much calmer than usual this time.  "Probably we'll see each other more often, what do you say?"

Sarah looked at him in confusion.  "What do you mean?"

“Well, you know we're both going to be in trouble now thanks to McGonagall.  And since I'm sure she'll punish you too, I already know we're in for some time behind school,” Barty continued, his smile still on his face.  "So we could start spending more time together to ease the wait for school punishment."

Sarah frowned.  "Don't you think that's a bit much?"

Barty gave a short laugh.  “I'm sure you won't regret it.  It's not as bad as it sounds.  A little alone time with some people can't be so bad, can it?"

Sarah looked at him and thought about his words for a moment.  The person was incredibly annoying and always doing something, whether it was trouble or whatever.  "Okay, well, we'll see," she replied with a slight shrug.  "Maybe it won't be so bad.  But I still don't like how I'm getting into it."

Barty obviously couldn't help himself, so he smiled even more.  “I think you'll come to terms with that soon, Sarah.  After all, who wouldn't want to spend more time with someone who is so into… forbidden games?” he added with a slight hint of humor.

Sarah had to laugh, though it still didn't feel quite right.  "Perhaps you're right," she said finally, and with a sigh she walked towards the Gryffindor tower.  Barty watched for a moment longer before turning and walking in the opposite direction.

•••

It was usually dark and quiet in the Slytherin common room.  Pandora, Evan, and Regulus were sitting comfortably on couches by the fireplace, which were covered with old furs and soft cushions.  A crackling fire illuminated the room with a faint, orange light, and it seemed to be quite a peaceful atmosphere.  Regulus was reading one of his French books, and Pandora was chatting quietly with her brother, who was quite happy to see his raven sister.  When Dorcas entered the room, everyone rose.

Dorcas asked with a slight smile.  "Where's Barty?"

Pandora looked up from the window, the surface of which was covered with a light mist.  She turned to Dorcas with a relaxed look.  "Barty?" she thought for a moment before shrugging.  “He was here a while ago.  He often joins us when there is a vacancy here.   But he met Sarah Potter.  You know how interested he is in her."

Regulus frowned, but Pandora wasn't sure why.  If it was because he just walked away, or because he was with Sarah

Pandora paused for a moment and focused her gaze out the window.  Something in her expression suggested that it was better to keep it all a bit of a mystery for now.  She finally spoke slowly.  "It looks like a school punishment... but I don't know what exactly happened."

Regulus's curiosity was evident as he looked at her and leaned back a bit in the back of the seat, clearly intrigued by the situation.   "And what about her?  Sarah Potter?  Given the very familiar scene from the library, I wouldn't expect her to ever willingly approach Barty.  So how could they get school punishment together"

Pandora looked at him briefly and then sighed as she thought about the whole situation.  "I think Sarah got involved by mistake.  I don't think she had plans to hang out with Barty, but apparently fate played into Barty's hands and something happened to force her to stay."

Evan laughed at his sister's words, "I know Barty has been following her since the beginning of the year, there's just something about her that interests him this year.” Regulus frowned, and when the moment came when Dorcas started to laugh, he shook his head.  His thoughts remained a little further away, in the direction of the situation he was dealing with.

"I'm starting to like that girl," Dorcas said with relief, running a hand through her long dark hair.  Everyone looked at her.  Pandora smiled.  Her plan to befriend Sarah and Dorcas seemed to be working, which she really liked, she knew the two would get along.

•••

Sarah arrived at the Gryffindor house, still distantly thinking about the words she had exchanged with Barty Crouch.  As she walked in she noticed James, Sirius, Remus and Peter sitting at one of the tables where some sort of debate was going on.  James saw her first and immediately got up to catch her.

"Sarah, wait!" James called to her, walking up to her.  "We need to talk."

Sarah looked at him with a hint of an uncomfortable smirk.  She already knew what was on his mind, but she decided to let him start.  James gave her a look that was full of regret.

"I'm sorry about what I said to you on the Quidditch court," James began nervously.  "I don't know what came over me then, it was a stupid outburst.  I was mean to you, and…”

Sarah interrupted him with a look.  "Of course.  What now?  You've been ignoring me for weeks, James.  And now you're apologizing to me all of a sudden?” Her voice sounded cold as she was genuinely annoyed that it had only come now when it seemed like everything was long forgotten.

James frowned and tried to convince her.  “I… I know I screwed up.  I wanted to tell you earlier, but… I just didn't know how.'

Sarah shook her head.  "So you say it now, but after all you've said and done, it's too late for me," she replied, her tone still cold and unapproachable.  "I've really had enough, thank you fór your apology."

James was silent for a moment as if searching for words, but he knew he couldn't turn back time.  "Sarah..."

"Minnie caught me in the hallway with a very strange group of people," she cut him off, raising her head to look directly at him.  "And now, if you'll excuse me, I have an essay for Minnie to finish," she said, heading for the stairs.  She was determined to go to her room and stay there until she had a chance to calm down a bit.

As she ascended the stairs, her thoughts were filled with disappointment.  James apologized to her, but not until weeks later, after everything he had said to her.  He should have figured it all out a long time ago, and now it couldn't be taken back so easily.

Lying in her bed, completely forgetting about the McGonagall essay, Sarah took a deep breath and turned on her side to look at Alice sitting on the edge of her bed.  It had been a long night and even though they had been asleep for hours, Sarah couldn't sleep.  Everything that was happening kept swirling in her head.

"Alice… I'm starting to feel like I'm invisible to everyone, that matters to me," Sarah said quietly.  Her words were almost lost in the silence of the night.  “James is starting to forget me.  He's not looking for me anymore.  Today... he apologized to me, but after weeks of silence.  And now he keeps apologizing, but it's just... too late.”

Alice looked at her with pain in her eyes, but remained silent.  She didn't know how hard it must be for her.  After a moment, Sarah continued.

“And my parents…” her voice trailed off for a moment before she continued.  “They've been more concerned about Sirius than me lately.  I understand that it's hard to take care of him, but I feel... like I'm useless.  As if I wasn't even here anymore. "

Alice hesitated, her hand gently caressing Sarah's shoulder.  "Sarah… that's not true," she began, but her voice could tell that she didn't know how to help her herself.  “I know everything is hard right now, but what you're feeling isn't about being invisible.  Maybe they just can't see you... because everything is happening around you, and they just don't know how to support you right now.  Maybe they need more time to understand it.  James... he's still your brother.  Just because he's quiet now doesn't mean he doesn't love you."

"But I can't feel it," Sarah said disappointedly.  "I think I let him down.  And so are the parents.  When I look at Sirius, it's like he's always the center of their attention.  I'm not saying they don't have to worry, but... how come no one sees me?"

Alice paused for a moment, her eyes focused on Sarah.  “I can't tell you it's going to be easy.  But you can trust me that this is not about you.  Maybe it's just all happening at once, and sometimes people, even if they love you, don't know how to express it or how to support you.  Even if you feel it, it doesn't mean it's true.  Sometimes we just have to believe in ourselves, even when others can't.”

Sarah sighed and closed her eyes.  "I really wish it was easier."

"I know," Alice replied quietly.  "But you're not alone.  And I'll be here whenever you need someone to see you.”

Sarah looked at her and smiled slightly, though it was more out of duty than genuine feeling.  “Thank you, Alice.  I'm glad to have you.'

Alice patted her hand once more and finally stood up.  “I'll always be here for you, Sarah.  And even though it seems like everyone else is far away now, believe me, it's not forever.  This is all just a phase that will pass.”

Sarah leaned back against the pillows and thought silently.  Even though Alice wanted to help her, she still felt like everything was falling apart and she was alone.

All the time.