Chapter 1
For fuck's sake.
Gilderoy rolls his eyes as Peter takes his girlfriend by the waist and kisses her.
I can't watch this.
Gilderoy downs another shot. And another. He's already drank a lot tonight, but who cares? Not like anyone's going to remember him anyway. Everyone's too bloody busy watching the marauders prance around. Or watching them snog. He didn't care. Not like any of them wanted to snog him anyway.
Gilderoy turned around at this thought and watched as Peter and his girlfriend snaked their way around each other. They only drew apart every seconds to catch a breath and Gilderoy coul've thrown up in his mouth. Or on the floor, actually.
"KARAOKE TIME!" Mary shouted across the room to the crowd of half-drunk teens.
Gilderoy groans as he sways on his feet.
Mary had the first turn, of course. She performed the song she always did. Valerie- the Amy Winehouse version. During the "ginger hair" lyric, she pointed at Lily and winked. Lily blushed.
Next was a pair of 5th years Gilderoy didn't recognise. Maybe he was just too drunk to care. They performed 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough' by Marvin Gaye. They sounded awful. In love, yes, but also awful.
James Potter took the stage after that. He also performed his regular. Love Story by Taylor Swift. Complete with all the little shimmies and actions he could possibly do. He even pointed the microphone at his friends to echo the chorus back at him. He dragged Lily up to twirl her around as the entire room joined in with James' singing. Rumour had it he was going to propose to Lily after they left school, although James only ever chuckled at this. Never denied it, though.
Gilderoy couldn't take it anymore.
"I'm next!" He announced to the room. He took another swig of his drink, queued up his chosen song and took the microphone from James.
"Have fun, mate!" James said happily.
"I will."
As the opening beats played, Gilderoy climbed up onto the nearest table.
It wasn't his fault he kissed Peter in fourth year. What was he supposed to think? That Peter just wanted to hold hands? Like that's a normal fucking thing for friends to do? Or all the hugs they shared. That were definitely more than a friendly pat on the back. Gilderoy may be gay, but he wasn't delusional. He knew Peter didn't like him.
"Does she love you better than I can?" He pointed at the girl Peter was still holding hands with as he locked eyes with him. He could see Peter's arm flexing as he glared up at him.
"Yeah. I know it's stupid.
I just gotta see it for myself
I'm in the corner watching you kiss her." Gilderoy could feel the atmosphere of the common room had changed but the alcohol running through him told him to keep going. Let them stare, he thought. Let Peter and his picture perfect friend group fucking stare.
"I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home." Gilderoy changed the lyric. Of course he did. He wanted Peter to know it was about him. He didn't want there to be any confusion. It's all about him. It always has been. Sharing a dorm for nearly seven years, and Peter could hardly look at him. He was looking at him now, wasn't he?
As the song ended, Gilderoy dropped the mic. He had been maintainting eye contact with Peter during the majority of the song, but drew his eyes away as he swiped a half drunk bottle of vodka from a table and headed up the stairs to his dorm. He fucking hated vodka, but it was strong.
"What the fuck Gil? What the actual fuck is wrong with you?"
Peter. Gilderoy swung around as well as he could without falling over to face him.
"Oh now you want to talk! Fabulous!"
"I don't WANT to! You've just got some... Some problem!"
"Resorting to homophobia now, really?"
"Piss off. You know what I mean."
"Do I really, sweetheart?"
"Don't call me that."
Gilderoy rolled his eyes.
"I only came up because everyone else is so bloody worried you'll jump out the window!"
"And you're not worried then, I guess?"
"Of course I'm fucking worried Gil." Peter took a few steps towards Gilderoy.
Gilderoy just rolled his eyes again. "Sure."
"Sit down, please. I don't want you to fall," Peter sighed. "Because I'll have to clean it up."
Gilderoy sat down. He just sat there like a statue as Peter sat down beside him. They hadn't been that close since- well. Since they kissed.
"You know,on our very first day, when you kept spraying that bloody cologne of yours?"
"My cologne? What's wrong with it?"
"Nothing. You still have it, right? Won't let anyone else see the bottle."
"And-?"
"I've smelt it somewhere else."
"Where? You couldn't have. Nobody else has it. It's specially made. Where did you smell it?"
"My amortentia."
"I- What. What?"
"It smells of you."
"Yes I've gathered that. Why the hell does it smell like me?" Gilderoy half shouted.
"You know why, Gil."