Think of me
It came naturally to him.
As soon as he opened his mouth, his words took flight. It was as if the world never excited. It was only him.
The afternoon after the unexpected twist of events was even more energetic than the morning.
After replacing his brother, Sirius was rushed off into a dressing room (one much more grand than the once he was used to back stage) to put on his new costume. It had been thrown on the floor of Regulus room but it seemed intact. It had barley fit Sirius, has he was taller than his brother and more muscular. But he was able to squeeze into it after some careful adjustments.
By the time necessary changes were completed Sirius only had time to rehearse his new part one time. Than he had to go back and check every inch of his costumes and make up.
And than he was on the stage. Standing where his brother should have been. It felt wrong on all accounts and Sirius could not shake the nauseous feeling creeping up on him. He wanted to throw up but it also felt wrong. He saved the action for after dinner or lunch, not when he was finally getting the spot light he had always secretly wanted.
He felt as though he had to run, hide away under his bed where no one would find him.
But he couldn't. Because he heard the music began and the curtain slowly open.
The spot light was on him.
*******
The moment had come.
He was in his final costume, a sparking suit that shined in the candle light. He stood center stage, gaze fixed longingly out into the crowd.
“ We never said our love was evergreen,
or as unchanging as the sea -
but if you can still remember
stop and think of me . . .”
He sung into the crowd, who was strongly amused.
Once again, he let his song take flight. It was only him in this world. Nothing in the past mattered. Nothing remained. Not a voice but his own. Not a thought but the lyrics of his song.
“Think of all the things
we've shared and seen -
don't think about the things
which might have been . . .”
What could have been didn't matter at that moment, because the lights were on him.
“Recall those days look back on all those times,
think of the things we'll never do -
there will never be a day,
When I won't think of you . .”
And if Sirius had just looked out into the crowd, up at the mangers box, he would have seen her.
Mary McDonald. A girl he had been in love with so long ago. Her dark, bouncy, curly hair was pinned into an extravagant hair style, and she wore a red dress that accentuated her color bone. Her neck held a golden chain and her hands were covered with black gloves that reached her elbows. Has she fanned her self, her red lips whispered. “Can it be? Can it be him?”
She raised her glass of expensive wine to him. “Bravo!” she shouted. “What a change! You're really not a bit the gawkish boy that once you were… He may not remember me, but I remember…” She whispered.
"We never said our love was evergreen,
or as unchanging as the sea -
This was the moment. The moment the angle spoke about. The final show. The rest of his life depended on perfecting this last part.
but please promise me,
that sometimes you will think of me!"
His voice carried across the opera on the last word, high and perfected. Music erupted around him as he raised his voice.
The crowd raised to there feet, clapping and shouting words of amusement.
The curtain slowly closed and Sirius soaked in every last moment of applause. This was all he wanted. Cheers and pleasantry. For the world to see him as something other than his family or scraps thrown away.
He knew Regulus should have been standing here. In this very spot.
But a deep sense of selfishness took over him. Regulus had always had the spot light. Always the perfect son. If anything went wrong he could go straight to… her. Even now.
He was here on her orders of course. Regulus wanted nothing to do with the spot light he was gifted so easily. He had been given everything Sirius ever wanted even when he never wanted it. Sirius was glad Regulus was at least out of that house and he did work at least a hair fracture amount for the position he had.
But now it was his. He stood there in the light. In the applause.
The opera was now over and he had made a heavy impression on the crowd. The actors and dancers seemed highly impressed as well. They flooded the stage, cheering and clapping. Some held flowers, others drinks, and some one had raised Sirius’ arm in the air in triumph.
Madam Elfie had appeared soon enough and ushered Sirius out of the bursting crowd, which was now passing around glasses and ripping of wigs.
“You did very well dear.” She whispered, kissing his cheek.
“Thank you madam.” Sirius replied, accepting the motherly gesture.
“Now leave the stage to your room. Ill send for you soon” She gave his hand a squeeze and turned back to the bustling stage.
Bur Sirius did not go to his room. Instead he ventured down to the chapel.
The room of ghosts.