Chapter 1
Shauna took a deep breath as she stared at the lights illuminating the sign of the convenience store. It was nearly midnight, and her mind had been racing all day with endless thoughts. If this were true, it would change her entire life. Her friendship with Jackie would be destroyed, and there would be no chance of repairing it. People would talk about her behind her back even more than they already did. She would also be out of soccer—not that she particularly liked the sport, but it was where all her friends were. It was the only thing she knew, and it would all be taken away because of one stupid decision she made while she was drunk.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she gathered the courage to get out of her Volkswagen. She made her way across the parking lot and entered the store. Inside, the building was dimly lit, and the cashier behind the register looked much like any typical overnight worker—lifeless.
She already knew where the item she was looking for was; she had visited this store at least a million times since childhood. She even laughed with some of her friends about pregnancy tests when they would come here to buy tampons, joking about the idea of people their age needing one. She just never thought she would find herself on the other end of things. How could she? She was seventeen and would turn eighteen in just a few short months. This thought had never crossed her mind until a few weeks ago when she found herself rushing out of class several times each period because she felt the Wiskayok High lunch was about to spill from her mouth.
“Fuck my life,” she whispered to herself as she knelt to browse through the selection of tests. There were about a dozen options available, and her eyes immediately landed on the cheapest one she could find; her allowance could only stretch so far. However, she remembered reading that the inexpensive test had been giving too many false results to be reliable. So, she opted for the one she knew would provide accurate results quickly. It was the same test Sarah Meyer from her homeroom had taken a few months ago during the summer after she had a scare with her boyfriend Nate after a party neither of them could hardly remember.
She took a deep breath as she picked up the pregnancy test and walked toward the checkout counter. Setting the test down in front of the cashier, she noted the look on the worker's face—a mixture of concern and judgment, as if to say she thought Shauna was too young for this. And she was right.
“Is this all for you, sweetie?” the employee asked while typing in the price of the test.
Shauna simply nodded in response.
After the cashier announced the total, Shauna paid for the test and took the brown paper bag that contained it. Without bothering to retrieve her change, which she knew was at least a few dollars, she walked out of the store. As she arrived at her car, she hastily stuffed the crinkled paper bag into her worn backpack, the weight of her nerves pressing down on her as she drove home through the familiar streets.
Taking the test at home was out of the question. Her mom had this uncanny ability to pick up on her emotions, almost as if she could read her mind. The thought of her mother finding out was terrifying. Instead, she would have to take it at school, which was a situation that filled her with dread. But she had to do it, she had to know before her life blows up.
When she entered the house the lights were dimmed, but she heard the sound of the TV playing in just the other room.
“Shauna is that you?” her mother called out.
Shauna walked farther into the house, finding her mom sitting on the living room couch with a bowl of popcorn sitting right in her lap.
“You want to join me? I’m watching your favorite. Starwars” the woman smiled.
“Uh, no thanks I’m kinda tired…” she scratched the back of her head.
“Oh okay, sweetie how was studying with Jackie?”
“It was good, she feels pretty confident about the test tomorrow,” she said. She hated lying to her mom but she felt she couldn’t really tell her that she was going out to buy a pregnancy test. No mother ever wants to hear that from their daughter.
Nurse or not. 
“Good night Mom” she swallowed.
“Goodnight sweetie.”
And with that, Shawna made her way up the stairs and to her attic bedroom where she immediately flopped down onto her bed sleep immediately taking over. 
. . .
When Shauna woke up, she got up an hour early to take the test before her classes. This meant she had to pick up Jackie earlier than usual.
"Hey, honey, are you hungry?" her mother asked, noticing her as she made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. No, she definitely wasn't hungry; she had been feeling sick to her stomach with anxiety over what the test results would be. "I'm okay; I'll eat later," she replied, grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl and showing it to her mom.
Her mother looked up from where she was cooking pancakes. "You sure? You love peanut butter pancakes," she said.
"I'm sure," she said, giving her mom the best smile she could muster. Her mom looked at her uncertainly before nodding. "Alright, sweetie. I won't be home until morning, so I won't be here when you get home from school. I'm working a double shift."
Curse those double shifts.
Shauna felt awful that her mom was working so much. She was only doing it to pay for Shauna's tuition at Brown, but that was one of the secrets Shauna was going to keep hidden. While her mom was working hard for her college education, Shauna was out partying and probably got herself-
"You okay?" her mom asked.
"What?" Shauna snapped her head up to look at her mother, breaking free from her trance.
"You've been standing there for the last minute, staring off into space... where's your head at?"
"Just... thinking about a biology quiz I have today." She swallowed and backed up toward the front door. "I'll see you later, Mom. Have a good shift."
"Bye sweet girl" Deb smiled at her daughter, unknowing of what she was hiding. Shauna gave her mom one last look before grabbing her keys from the hook and leaving the house. The cold wind hit her cheeks almost immediately as she stepped outside, but the harshness of the weather couldn't compare to the storm brewing in her mind. With a sigh, she got into her car, tossed her backpack into the back seat, and inserted her keys into the ignition.
As she sat there, the air conditioning finally started to warm her up, but she found it difficult to leave the driveway. She felt that once she drove away, her life would change forever. And it would because no matter what the results ended up being, it was still going to mess her up.
But she had no choice; she had to leave. Jackie was waiting for her.
Taking a deep breath, Shauna put her car into reverse, pulled out of the driveway, and began the five-minute drive to Jackie's house, which was just a few blocks away. During the drive, her mind drifted again, as it had been doing for the past week and two days.
What would she do if she were pregnant? Would she keep the baby? If she did, would she still be able to play soccer? Would she be allowed to?
What would Jackie think? What would her friends think about her?
Would they treat her any differently?
The five-minute drive felt much faster than Shauna had anticipated. Before she knew it, Jackie was knocking loudly on her car window. When she looked at her best friend, she noticed Jackie gesturing to the lock on the door.
“Shit, sorry,” Shauna said, feeling foolish for being so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t noticed Jackie outside.
“You okay? I was trying to get your attention for like two minutes,” Jackie said as she got into the car, placing her bag on the floor near her legs. “You were off in Shauna-land.”
“Ha ha,” Shauna replied with a playful eye roll, starting her car and driving off in the direction of their school.
“Why are we going in so early, anyway? School doesn’t open for another hour,” Jackie said, pulling out her mirror to apply some blush to her cheeks.
“I just have something to do for one of my classes, so I had to come in earlier than usual,” Shauna lied, frustrated at how easily that was becoming for her these days.
"Oh," Jackie said with a nod. "What class?"
Shauna swallowed, keeping her gaze fixed on the road. "Uh, it's for history. I have to create a diorama for one of my classes about Congress."
Another lie.
What is wrong with her?
"Do you need any help? I'm kind of artsy," Jackie offered.
"Is this coming from the person who has failed art for the last four years?" Shauna teased, a smile tugging at her lips. Jackie pouted. "Okay, a D is hardly failing in my opinion."
"Okay, you're right—just barely passing. My bad," Shauna replied, shaking her head before returning her focus to the road. "But no, I’m okay. It’s a two-person project, and I’m already working with..." Her voice trailed off as she tried to think of someone in her history class. Just as she felt she was about to get caught in a lie, she spotted Lottie getting out of her family’s car in the school parking lot. "Lottie!" she said a little too quickly.
“Oh, I forgot Lottie was in that class,” Jackie said, collecting her bag from the floor of the passenger seat just as Shauna parked her car near the entrance of the school.
“Do you want to grab some breakfast from the cafeteria and hang out for a bit before you go do your project?” Jackie asked, looking at her friend. Shauna bit her lip. “I’m really busy,” she replied, noting how Jackie’s expression fell slightly. “But we can go out after school and do something tomorrow, okay? I just have a lot of work to do, and the project is due then.”
“Fine, but I’m holding you to that, Shippy.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” Shauna smiled as the two made their way through the double doors and went their separate ways. Jackie headed toward the cafeteria, while Shauna walked toward the Yellowjackets girls’ locker room, knowing no one would be there for the next few hours.
When she entered the locker room, she paused for a moment, taking it all in. “Fuck my life,” she muttered before forcing herself to go into one of the stalls, too distracted to notice she forgot to lock the door.
Shauna placed her bag on the cool, tiled floor of the bathroom and took a seat on the toilet. Leaning forward slightly, she unzipped the bag with shaking hands. Inside, nestled next to her French test book, was the pregnancy test she had purchased earlier that day. A flutter of anxiety stirred in her stomach as she grasped the small, rectangular package.
Her mind raced back to health class, where they had briefly covered pregnancy tests. It had been an awkward session—most of her classmates exchanging glances and laughing. Shauna had half-tuned out the teacher's explanation, instead doodling absentmindedly in her notebook. Now, with the real possibility of needing to use that knowledge, she regretted not paying closer attention.
With a swift motion, she tore open the box, revealing the test tucked neatly inside its plastic wrapping. She glanced over the instructions printed in small, clear text on the packaging. It was simple enough: pee on the end of the stick and wait three minutes to see the results.
Her heart raced, echoing in her ears. She could do this—she had to. Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself for the next few moments, preparing for the answer that could change everything.
"Come on..." she murmured to herself, her heart racing as she bit her lip and tore open the plastic wrapper with unsteady hands. She carefully extracted the test, feeling the cool surface against her fingertips. Taking a deep breath, she positioned the test beneath her and peed on it, her nerves fluttering with each passing second. After placing the cap back on, she set the small white stick on top of the tiny trash can mounted on the wall of her stall.
Now, she was faced with the longest three minutes of her life. She could almost hear the seconds ticking by, each one stretching out like an eternity.
Her mom had shared a similar experience when waiting for her pregnancy test with Shauna. Back then, the tests took a full hour to reveal the results. Which, for Shauna felt like just about the same time. Now, in this cramped bathroom stall, She couldn’t shake the feeling that she had been trapped in this space for the entire school day, even though classes hadn’t even begun yet.
When the three minutes had finally come Shauna glanced over at the test sitting next to her, terrified to see the results. But she needed to know, she needed to know so she could continue her life or prepare for the end of it.
Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes she reached out for the test, taking it into her hands before opening her eyes and looking down at the results "fuck" she said, her voice cracking as she felt her whole body shake with only what she could describe as fear.
Caught up in her emotions and shocked by the results, she didn't even hear the gym locker room door open.
"What the hell am I going to do?" she covered her eyes as tears began to fall freely.
"I'm so sorry! I didn't think anyone was in here," she heard a voice say. Looking up, she saw Lottie standing at her stall with the door wide open. Lottie's eyes flicked from the pregnancy test in Shauna's lap to her face, her mouth slightly agape in shock. "Oh my God, Shauna, I didn't mean to—"
Not wanting to hear what Lottie was going to say, Shauna quickly grabbed her backpack and shoved the pregnancy test, along with the paper bag, inside. She pushed past Lottie and hurried out of the locker room. She ignored the muffled voice behind her, which she assumed was Lottie, and made her way out of the school and toward her car.
She couldn’t be here right now.
She couldn’t face any of her friends, knowing what she had just discovered—she was pregnant.