March 7th 2010
Any day was like any other for Nana.
Wake up, brush teeth, make breakfast for herself, wake up Satsuki, make breakfast for her, send Satsuki to school, clean up house, make lunch, pick up Satsuki, make dinner for them both, brush teeth, go to sleep and finally: rinse and repeat.
Her twenties had come to an end and she had finally settled down with Takumi, Trapnest’s bassist. Yet, her heart was left still yearning and pining for a certain someone, or, a certain singer.
“BLACK STONES new single released!” was written on the newspaper Nana held in her hands. Despite the rumor of the dazzling vocalist’s death being spread around a year ago, it was quickly disproven once the now blonde beauty revealed her status as a Solo Singer. Though the band was losing popularity, they all persevered and never let their slow tumble in fame stop them.
“Hah! They really took after her, didn’t they...” smiled Nana, amused at the band’s stubbornness to give up on their dream. Her doe eyes skimming through the article, just to see a familiar face: Osaki Nana.
The woman whom she thought she could leave behind in the high of her life, the woman who had been bugging her the past decade, a likely one-sided yearning that Nana knew could never be reciprocated. She was known as “Ichinose Takumi’s Wife” and her rangy and fiercely loyal best friend was known as “Blast’s Vocalist who ‘faked her death’ to become a Solo Singer”.
“Doesn’t sound like Nana at all!” she scoffed, not letting Osaki’s “bad” reputation or society’s jaded glasses ruin her impression of Nana. Her hands crumpling the newspaper into a small rough grey ball and chucked it into the trash can, seating herself on a chair settled close to the dinner table with her head in her hands.
Wherever she goes, Nana can’t escape from her best friend, who she is still hopelessly devoted to supporting.
The black mascara that made her eyelashes wisp, the deep cherry red lipstick that glossed her lips and the purple eyeshadow that delicately dusted her eyelids…
“How can I remember my old best friend’s face but not my own husband’s face?!” Nana internally yelled, retracting one of her hands holding her face to fidget with a strand of her bronze peach toned hair. The fact that her heart couldn’t beat for Takumi anymore, but it still races for Nana. Restless nights spent thinking of her, having strawberry shortcakes with coffee just to feel closer to her again… Was Nana going insane? Did she truly love Osaki Nana more than her husband, the father of her children?
A solemn expression plastered on her usually vacant face as she is reminded of the climax of her early twenties that stayed and vacated when she met Takumi. She had fallen out of love years ago because Nana had stopped looking at him with rose tinted glasses. After all, the pain that comes with late maturity is facing the truth of nostalgia. Yet, they refused to divorce due to Takumi having a reputation to keep and Nana needing a money source to take care and feed Satsuki.
Her gaze turning to the sheet of paper and an old mechanical pen settling on top of it comfortably resting on the hardwood table, she was planning to send letters to Takumi but, she found a new purpose for the letter set.
Pen in hand, she began writing, covering the page with what she considered her shallow but heart-felt emotions:
“To my dearest Osaki Nana,
From: Hachi (Komatsu Nana)
Hello Nana, I hope you’re doing well! It’s been a while since we’ve talked, haven’t we? How is it going? I heard your singles are gaining popularity”
Nana’s hands beginning to tremble as she continued writing
“You know, lots of things have happened when you’re gone. I know have 2 children: Ren and Satsuki. Guess who I named Ren after? I’m sure you can guess! Satsuki looks so much like you when we met back on that train, it makes me super sad that you won’t be able to meet them, Nana.”
“I still remember when you called me Hachi, when you performed in front of me on our dinner table, when I scouted out Shin for you, when we bought those strawberry cups and especially.. Today. Today is the day that we officially met, March 7th 2001. It’s been 10 years since then, don’t you remember? I’ve changed a bunch, but so have you.”
“Don’t you remember what you told me? That loving was never a waste? Well, I never forgot that. The happiest time of my life wasn’t with Takumi, but it was lying in your arms after Shoji cheated on me. I felt like I was being held delicately like a special prize. Back then, I was only in love with the idea of someone loving me, but maybe, just maybe, I think I just wanted someone like you.”
An epiphany hit Nana like a train, was she.. In love with her best friend…? Yet, her hand continued writing down every thought like its life depended on it.
“You were so different from me, yet we found a way into each other’s lives. You said you didn’t believe in things like fate, well, I think that was fate. I think it was fate that we were so close too”
.........
“Nana,
I think I love you.”
Her trembling hands finally stop writing, realizing a moment of reflection had let her come to the conclusion of her restless nights or need for love and affection. It wasn’t the fact that Takumi and Ren were always out on tours, it wasn’t even the fact that she couldn’t meet her friends, Nobu, Yasu and Shin again.
It was the fact that even after all these years, she was still hopelessly devoted to Nana despite a decade of separation. Still waiting her return and so see her across the table, like a dog awaiting it's owner's return, oblivious to the fact that the owner's moved on, and so should it.