Luna always feels like a breath of fresh air. Even though she confuses the hell out of me, she was truly caring. Always having the dreamy dazed look in her eyes, like she had no care for the world around her. Like the smoke in the air and the glass under her feet was unimportant. Sometimes, I hate Luna. With every fiber of my being. It's not hate, I quickly realized. It's envy, I'm envious of her. Me? Harry fucking Potter. The boy who lived, envious of this wistful girl. It's not her fault, I admire her, I love her, she's like a sister to me. Like Hermione and Ginny. Ginny. With her fiery red hair and freckled cheeks. She was pretty. Absolutely gorgeous..but also inexplicably hideous.
How could I think that of her? I used to think I loved ginny, that we would get married, and live happily. Ew...saying that in my head makes it sound weird. Everyone can be wishful can't they? Anyway...I don't love her. I havnt told her yet..I don't know how. Even as she clings to my arm, I don't feel anything but familial love for her. She makes me sick. I don't hate her. Yes I do. No I don't, I swear. I'm going to bed. Goodnight.
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I always wondered, as everyone slept with dreams spinning in their idiotic heads, why couldn't I? Sure the sun was coming up, but that didn't change the fact that I was the only one who lay awake. What made an early riser? Oh that's right. I don't want to talk about it. How silly of me. I think I'll get ready now, before those buffoons wake up and hog the showers. I guess there were a few good things about being an early riser.
Fuck your hideous.
I hate mirrors. Always wondering, is that what I look like?
The halls were quiet as I wall down the stairs. Jerking each time they shift and move directions. Why is this so complicated? I just want to get where I need to be. A distant shout catches my attention, turning my head behind me I spot my friends. They arnt my friends. Yes they are. Hermione and Ron! I smile at them, they always try to catch up with me. Always trying to be beside me, when we walk, when we eat. They never leave me alone. Always there. Always watching. But I hate being alone, so it's fine. As they join me, shoulder to shoulder, we all head down to the main hall. Ron babbling about this and that, and Hermione bantering with him. Music to my ears. I hate music. I love rock music. I want to bash them in the head with a rock.
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'Your quiet today Harry'. Hermione says, her voice as nagging and condemning as always. I'm just tired, I tell her. Tired of your-.
The hall smelled good, filled with food of all sorts. It was starting to get loud from more students entering the hall. Hungry faces and excited chatting. I nibble on my own food, a singular piece of egg. Very filling. I pick off pieces of bacon and feed it to hedwig, my loyal companion. She is such a pretty bird, I tell her as I give her the sweetest of smiles. My heel digs into my leg. Ow. It hurts.