All For Her

Whispers.

Whispers filled around the great hall as Raven ate her food. Well, she didn't actually eat it, but she pushed it around with her fork, acting as if it were more interesting than her peers. She knows that it was rude to do—her burning back continued to remind her of that—but she couldn't help it. She knew that everyone had been talking about her and what she had did in Defense against the dark arts. What she said to.. that liar.

Everyone was eating up his lies and she refused to let anyone think that he was affected by the monstruos actions of her parents. When in reality, he was probably in hiding to avoid the war. It was downright.. disgusting how he tried lying with that filthy smirk on his face.

No matter how hard Raven tried to keep her mouth shut, she just couldn't. She would never allow for someone to lie about being one of the victims of her parents. Not because she doesn't want any more crimes to be added to them, but because their victims shouldn't be used as a tourist attraction. Especially cause she knows that some of the people here in Hogwarts—a certain Gryffindor boy who Raven could never find the heart to look at without feeling guilty for her parents actions— would never admit to anyone about how her parents ruined their lives.

They would rather keep secrets.

Or just never talk about it.

And Raven couldn't blame them for that. If anything, all she ever does is—in secret— send the poor people flowers, hoping that one day they'd wake up out of whatever hell they were in and be with their children. With their son.

With.. Neville Longbottom.

Her parents had been charged with assisting Draco's Aunt Bellatrix with torturing them and so many others they had captured. Many of them had die, while the a few, including the LongBottoms had been able to survive. But.. they were forever be hospitalized as they could never leave the state that the torture left them. They were the shell of whoever they used to be. They didn't even recognize their own son.

And Neville— No, Longbottom, Raven corrected. She didn't have the right to call him by his first name—parents got off lucky. Some were forever paralyzed. Some had to be admitted into the mental portion of the hospital being forever treated as if they were crazy.

She could imagine their screams.

Raven bit her tongue to stop the bile that threatened to escape her.

"Raven." Someone had called out to her, but she ignored it. The voice sounded too muffled for Raven to place. All she could hear were the sounds of a boy sobbing in the bathroom. Of Neville sobbing as she walked by, crying out for his parents after he realized who she was.

"Mom, I— I— I'm sorry."

She could hear him.

"I can't do it. I— I can't hurt her."

He was in the bathroom apologizing to his mother for not being able to hurt Raven. For not avenging his family like a true Gryffindor. And Raven had stood outside of the bathroom, leaning against the wall as she fought back her own tears in her eyes at his broken voice. Ever since that day, Raven made sure to never pass by him in the halls. It wasn't because she was scared of him, but because it would make it easier for him. She would make herself scares just so he could have some peace of mind.

She even went as far as to sit furthest away from him, depending on where he sat. Most of the time, he sat in the middle of the table in the great hall so she made sure to sit at the far end, so that he would be closest to the door. And it seemed to work because after a few days, he relaxed around his friends.

Then after a while, he started to laugh, and smile, and just ignore Raven's existences. Never sparing her a glance. Never uttering her name. He didn't even think of her. And Raven had been okay with that.

But now..

Now, she could feel his burning gaze on her back. She could feel the way it stayed there, peering into her as if he were trying to figure out her every secret. And yet, it wasn't the only one there. She could feel the others as well. They were fleeting, sparing her a glance as they talked about her before retreating into themselves. But theses, including LongBottoms, stayed stuck to her back as if they were trying to figure her out.

Raven clenched her jaw, trying to fight off the urge to turn to meet their gaze. To scare them off, but.. she deserves it. She deserves to be looked at and judged for her parents actions. It was the least she could do considering that her parents were dead.

So, she won't looked.

Her curiosity be damned.

She inhaled, feeling the way air flowed into her nose and down her throat before expanding her lungs. She hadn't relaxed, her posture straight as a board. If anything, she tensed even more as she balled her other hand—the one not holding her silverware—in her lap in a tight, white grip. She didn't flinch when she felt her nails dig into her skin. Instead, she allowed for some of the tension in her body to dissipate, not quite relaxing, but not being nearly as tense as she was before. The pain felt good, grounding her in a way that she needed.

And maybe it was because of the pain, of being grounded, or because she wanted to know who was looking at her, wanted to know if it was who she thought it was—hoped it was—but Raven did the one thing she hadn't wanted to do.

She glanced behind her and locked eyes with Harry Potter's sea green ones that looked nearly identical to her own in this lighting. Raven caught sight of his scar, feeling her eyes trail it's zigzag lightning patterned naturally, feeling her left hand ache. She felt her eyes trace his face, watching—waiting—for the glare that is usually pointed at her to appear, but yet, his face was still confused.

He was merely looking at her as if he were trying to solve a problem. His eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was slightly parted as he looked. And his eyes, they were swimming in circles as if they had no clear route, no destination. As if they had no were to go, or no idea how to get there.

As if he were questioning everything he thought he knew. Something in Raven felt compelled to talk to the boy again, wanting to apologize to him for her parents actions because despite it all, she didn't want to be on bad terms with the boy who lived.

And Ronald wasn't doing so well either. As soon as Raven looked at him, he looked down, avoiding her gaze as if he were a child getting scolded. It looked so similar to what she had seen during their first day back after his mothers howler. He had looked down then too, biting his lip to stop the tears from leaking out of his eyes as his face flushed in embarrassment.

But this time was different.

He wasn't bitting his lip, but his keeps lit up, pinking up his pale face into a tomato. And his eyes held a different look as well. A far away look as if he were embarrassed.. or guilty? Why would Ronald Weasley be guilty?

And finally, Raven locked eyes with him. But unlike the other two boys, she couldn't read Longbottom. His gaze was still peering into her, and yet, his eyes held a far away look into them as they turned black. She glanced down at his hand as saw how they were trembling as if he were in a distant memory of sorts. She felt as if she were looking into a private moment that the boy was experiencing.

And a few moments later, Raven had to look away, glancing towards the girl who was sitting down in front of Harry and felt her eyes locked with those gentle brown ones that haunted her sketchbook in more ways than one. Maybe it was easier now that they were friends, but Raven couldn't find it in herself to look away. Hermione was fully facing her, turning in her seat to look at Raven as if she too needed to figure out who she was. But unlike the others looks, she looked at Raven as if she were concerned. As if she saw Raven true feeling underneath the surface. For something other than a monster, but a child who was scared of getting hurt today.

Raven tensed up even more at the look, at the pure worry in her eyes. This was worse. This was far worse than seeing Raven as a monster because at least then, she'd know what to expect. This felt as if Hermione could see right through Raven. Like she could see how messed up and broke she truly was. How sometimes she still stays awake at night repeating the names of her parents victims so that she never forgets. How she can barely look at any of the victims in the eyes because of the guilt.

And it felt as if Hermione could see all of it.

And it was so different.

So different from the other look she had given her upon realizing who she was. The look that still lives inside of her sketchbook, that was fierce, and dark as she glared. A look that made Raven's stomach ache upon seeing it. An ache that felt so much like getting whipped except.. it hurt more, lingering deep inside of her in a way that the whips never could.

And it scared Raven beyond belief.

She could feel the way the others around Hermione disappear as if her gaze was solely struck with the muggleborn. It was as if Hermione Granger was the only thing she could see. Her clutched hand grew tighter at the sight of her gentle brown eyes, feeling a weird liquid in her palms. And yet, Raven knew it wasn't blood because it didn't hurt. No, it was sweat. Why was she sweating? She continued to look at Hermione as if the girl was the only thing worth looking at.

Raven couldn't help but wonder if she were hearing Hermione's heartbeat inside of her ears or if Raven's were just so loud that that those around her could hear it as well. She couldn't hear those around her, could barley even see her friends in her peripheral vision. All she could see was Hermione.

The way the girl's mouth curved up as if she were pleased with the attention. The way she tilted her head ever so slightly to the left taunting Raven and making her follow the girls eye like she were a puppet. Raven didn't acknowledge the way she continued to follow her gaze even going as far as to slightly turn her body more towards the girl. She watched as the girl furrowed her eyebrows—in such an adorable way that Raven nearly had to bite her lip to stop the heat from burning onto her cheeks— and shake her head before a smile stretched up onto her lips.

A smile that Raven caused.

And suddenly, the air inside of Raven's lungs vanished by the mere sight of that smile.

The sound of paper flapping towards Raven broke her out of her thoughts. She looked up, seeing a paper airplane flying towards her before landing down softly in her lap. She glances up and locks eyes with Hermione once more. The muggleborn girl rolls her eyes before showing Raven how to open it.

The red haired girl narrowed her eyes into a playful glare that caused the muggleborn to giggle before she opened the paper plane. Inside were three little words that were written.

"1 point Hermione."

This girl—

Raven scoffed before she turned back to the girl who was smirking snuggly. Raven rolled her before placing the note onto the table and pulled out her pencil to write on it.

"Actually, Lockhart's class doesn't count. Not with the way you were drooling the whole time." Raven wrote before she folded the paper into a tiny swan—Draco taught her—and blew it into the air. She knew that after a while it would fly down to Hermione and everyone would forget that she sent it.

"What was that?" A voice asked.

"Huh, what?" Raven turned to her left and locked eyes with Melanie. The Latina pointed at the flying dove. "Oh. That's nothing."

"Can you teach me?" Melanie asked. "It looked really cool."

Just as Raven opened her mouth to agree, the sound of someone sitting in front of her stopped her. "Raven Mara Rosier!"

Raven flinched as she turned to Natasha who had just sat down. "You sly dog!"

"Why are you late?" Raven asked.

"Don't change the subject!" Natasha leaned over from the other side of the table and smacked Raven's arm. It wasn't hard enough to leave a bruise, just a slight sting. But that didn't stop Raven from flinching at the sudden movement. "You called out the new Professor!"

"Oh." Raven bit her inner lip, fighting the urge to shrug. "Yeah.."

"It was priceless, Tasha!" Veronica cut in. Her voice was loud, echoing throughout the great hall causing more than a few others to quiet down at her words. "His ears were practically blowing out steam!"

"Don't forget what happened after." Sophia chimed in. Veronica grabbed her shoulder as Sophia was sitting right next to her on her right while Natasha was on her left. Melanie had been sitting beside Raven on her left right in front of Sophia, while Raven was in front of Veronica.

"Oh my god your right! HAHAHA!" Veronica laughed, throwing her head back and onto Sophia shoulder. The red haired girl rolled her eyes before she proceeded to eat her food. "Oh god— I can't breathe."

"What.." Raven felt small, especially with the way her cheeks were still burning. "What happened?"

"Tell the girl, Ronnie." Sophia nudged her. But Veronica continued to laugh, shaking her head. Sophia sighed before facing Raven, a smile went onto her lips. "So, after you left, Ronnie and I kept asking questions about his story and he kept messing up. Do you remember in the beginning how he said that he was clawed by a dragon on his right arm?"

"I wasn't paying attention." Raven stated.

"Girl trust me, I know." Raven felt her cheeks burn even more at Sophia's words before she clenched her jaw. She could feel the burning gaze of Natasha and Melanie on her, but she didn't make any move to look at them. "You were too busy looking at your lover."

Raven huffed. "I don't have a lover."

"Who has a lover?" Cedric leaned in from Raven's other side. He reached out, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. Raven tensed up at his touch, finally feeling her nails digging into her skin and cutting through her palm.

"No one, second place."

"Second place?" Sophia mumbled, leaning into Veronica. The black girl shrugged before a sly smirk appear onto her lips.

"Aww, they have inside jokes." Veronica cooed. Raven fought the urge to roll her eyes at the girls words before feeling Cedric leaning closer to her.

"What?" She questioned.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Cedric asked.

Raven tensed up at his words. "Y— Yeah.. of course, I was just.. letting it cool down."

She sent her friend a perfect smile, hoping that he didn't read too much into the way it did not reach her eyes one bit. Or the way her hand began to shake ever so slightly. How her hand was nearly white as she clutched around the silverware, her elbows bleeding into the table.

Raven could feel the burning gaze of Melanie and Natasha on her as if they could right through her. They could see right through her act, her lies. And that scared her. Terrified her beyond belief.

"How about we split it then?" Cedric broke the tense silence with a smile. "I'm starving!"

"Actually—" Natasha reached over. But was stopped by a hand. Raven didn't even have to turn to know that it was Melanie.

Raven felt her shoulders sag in relief for a moment as she exhaled all the tension out of her body. Cedric sent her a kind smile before he reached over to her food with his fork and began to separate it.

"I'll take the stake." He said using his fork to push aside the stake to his side of the plate, while moving the scrambling rice and black spider eggs over to her side. "You can have the rest."

Raven felt a weight lift a little bit off of her shoulders, despite the nausea that began to bubble inside of her mouth. Cedric hadn't realize, but he took away all the heavy food. The food that probably would have thrown itself out of her whether she wanted to or not. It made it a little easier to eat it, swallow it down without worrying about going over to the stake.

So, that's what Raven did.

With shaky hands, she grabbed a spoon full of scrambling rice and wrapped her mouth around the spoon. She fought the urge throw the spoon right out of her mouth and spit out the food that caused her stomach to growl in dissatisfaction. Instead, she gently pulled the spoon out, feeling the way the rice stayed inside of her closed mouth. And with a pounding heart, she gulped down the rice.

Raven could practically feel the way her Aunt Eleanor was leaning over her, a hand on her shoulder as she tried to stop Raven from continuing. She felt her lip begin to tremble as she felt the rice sunk into stomach.

Raven nearly flinched at the hand that placed itself over her clutched up fist. She turned locking eyes with Melanie's brown ones, expecting her to demand an explanation out of Raven. But all she did was send her a kind smile before squeezing her hand.

"You're really brave." Melanie stated.

Raven swallowed the rice she had just shoved into her mouth once more. "Pardon?"

"For standing up to Professor Lockhart and calling him out on his lies." Melanie explained as her grin turned into a soft smile. "I think it was a brave thing to do."

Raven glances away from her, mumbling under her breathe. "It was stupid."

"And such a Gryffindor thing to do." Cedric hummed as he chimed in. His arm was still wrapped around Raven, holding her safely in his arms as if he too could feel the unwanted stares she was getting and wanted to shield her away from them. "Are you sure your supposed to be in Hufflepuff?"

"Oh, hush, second place." Raven elbowed his side causing him to groan in pain and remove his arm from her shoulder. "You're one to talk Mr. The Broom Passed The Finish Line Which Means I Won."

"I did win!"

"You cheated! How is that winning?"

"I didn't even cheat."

"Liar!"

"I am not a liar!"

"Your red ears say otherwise!"

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" Veronica reached out to them, creating a loud bang on the table. A few people glanced over at their side but no one said a thing as they watched. Raven and Cedric ceased their arguing before turning towards her. "I know you're trying to try out for the team, but since when have you gotten on a broom?"

Cedric and Raven glanced at each other.

"Uhhh—"

"Well, you see—"

Melanie never let go of Raven's hand for the rest of lunch, providing her comfort as the girl ate.

And Hermione blushed when she read Raven's response.

✦✦✦✦✦✦

Sunlight.

The sunlight was basking against Raven's skin as she held her broom. Cedric was beside her as he was practically buzzing with excitement. Raven glanced at the boy, trying to hide the ever so growing smile on her face at the sight of his happy expression. He could barely sit still compared to how he was earlier that day.

"Raven?" Cedric called out to the girl, knocking on her door to get her attention. The red haired girl was sitting down on her bed, wearing her green stained pajamas that she hadn't had the opportunity to wash. "Are you done?"

The two of them had been sent to the Hufflepuff house soon after lunch for their tryouts. Jessie had managed to stop them and explain to them that they should wear workout clothes instead of their robs so that she wouldn't be forced to send them away. And Raven.. she had to ask if wearing pajamas was okay.

(Though, she left out the part about how she only had pajamas and no other clothing beside her robs.)

Thankfully, Jessie said yes.

And now, here Raven was wishing the earth would swallow her whole as she glanced down at her pajama pants. She felt herself heart tug with embarrassment, feeling the way it felt as if someone had wrapped their scarf around it and tightened its grip till her heart began to beat out of her chest.

But she was a Rosier.

And a Rosier wouldn't allow for simple things—such as wearing pajamas to try outs— make her hold her head any less high. So, with that, she got up from her bed and walked over to the door, opening it wide for her best friend. Cedric paused mid knock, eyes widening as he took in the sight of Raven.

"Yeah. I'm ready." Raven hummed. "Let's go."

She tried to push past Cedric, but the boy had blocked her off. She hesitated before she looked up at the boy, a familiar—too familiar— face looked back at Raven, despite the fact that his light grey eyes were no where near the darkness of her uncles. Perhaps it was the way Raven had to look up at the boy feeling as if he were towing over her? Or maybe it was the way he had blocked her off while not saying a word like Uncle Nicholas would do if he felt as if his point still wasn't being made?

"Cedric..?" Raven questioned. Her voice sounding a little too nervous for him not to notice that she was afraid.

His eyes cleared up in an instant at the sound.

"Ray—Ray.." He whispered. "Were you being serious when you asked Jessie if you could wear pajamas or are you just messing with me?"

Raven felt like a child being scolded.

"I— Umm.." Suddenly, the light beside Cedric's head looked more appealing than his eyes. "I was being serious."

Cedric's eyebrows furrowed. "Wait, I'm confused. You don't have trousers? And.. is that the same blouse you wore the other day?"

"I don't have anything else." Raven felt small. Her voice barely came out as a mere whisper, so quiet that if Cedric wasn't as close as he was, he wouldn't have heard her.

And that's how Raven got stuck wearing Cedric's grey sweatshirt and a small pair of his red trousers that he had left in Hogwarts last year. Raven was honestly surprised that they fit, considering the fact that the boy was taller than her. She just had to tie them a little tighter so that they could fit comfortably.

After she had gotten them, she couldn't help but enjoy the way the sweatshirt felt against her skin. It was soft, gentle as it rested against her body, warming her up in a way that she didn't know was possible. Sure, she had a few muggle hoodies back at her Godfather's house, but it was always blazing hot over there since it was the summer time, so she could never wear them. But now, having Cedric's sweatshirt wrapped around her, she couldn't help but relish in the warmth as a gentle breeze blew against them.

Plus, she felt a little thrill go through her at the shorts she was wearing. Her Aunt Eleanor had banned the use of shorts in the house. Only gowns for the girls to sleep in. Raven and Katherine had gotten lucky to be given pajama pants when they had gotten to Hogwarts.

"Here, dear." Aunt Eleanor handed Katherine a pair of pajamas while they were eating dinner. "We wouldn't want any boys getting the idea that your.. unladylike with the amount of skin you show in your gowns. Wear this instead. It'll cover you up quite nicely."

Katherine was 12 when she first got them and each year after that, Aunt Eleanor continued to get more for her daughter. And when Raven received her Hogwarts letter, she had gotten the same speech. She could still remember Katherine's face.. how the girl had gulped, forcing a smile to tug up onto her lips—like a puppet with strings that someone was using for their amusement—as she said thank you to her mother.

While Katherine was lucky to get pajamas and a growing wardrobe, Raven barely had underwear inside of her drawers. She was lucky to be remembered. Though, it wasn't as if she couldn't buy herself some clothes since she did have her parent's money. She just.. doesn't touch her vault, feeling as if she were using blood money. Not on herself at least.

"Alright!" Jessie clapped causing Raven as well as the crowd of Hufflepuff's to pay attention to the girl in front of her. "Thank you for showing up to this years Hufflepuff try outs! Now for the people who don't know, my name is Jessie Beckett and I am the Hufflepuff team Captain."

Claps were heard around the field as soon as she introduced herself. Many of the people— who raven could only assume were the captains teammates— began to cheer for the girl, even going as far to scream excitingly. The captain rolled her eyes with an ever growing smile on her face.

"Enough!" Jessie chuckled. Raven couldn't fight the smile that creeped its way onto her lips from the sound. "Now, does anyone have any questions before we begin?"

A few hands went up.

"How many people are you choosing?" A boy had asked, looking too young to be in Cedric's year. Raven saw the look on Jessie's face as soon as she saw the boy. A flash of pity passed through her eyes.

"We have about 3 more slots open." Jessie explained before she sent the boy a kind smile, "Though, we already know a few people who already have guarantied spots on the team."

Cedric leaned down near Raven's ear, a bright grin on his face as he whispered. "She's talking about us!"

"Jeez, Second Place." Raven flinched, not used to anyone whispering inside of her ear unless it was Uncle Nicholas or Aunt Eleanor. "Can you be any louder?"

"I was not second place!" Cedric huffed, still whispering with Raven.

The red haired girl raised her eyebrow at the boy, "Would you rather I call you cheater?"

"Second place it is."

"Let's get started ladies and gentlemen!" Jessie clapped before she gestured for the group to go to the front of the line. Raven felt her eyes narrow at the white line on the grass. She hadn't seen it the other night when she was sneaking out with Cedric and from the confused look on the boys face, he didn't either. "This here is your starting line. Now, before we begin, raise your hand if you know how to ride a broom."

A few people raised their hand, including Raven and Cedric.

"Oh boy." Jessie groaned.

And soon, not even 10 players were left. Raven could tell Jessie was slightly upset about it, but she didn't let that waver her confidence. She still had a smile, and she still explained what they had to do. Raven as well as the players left prepared themselves for the tryouts to begin. Jessie had instructed them to fly across the field, go through the hoop, and fly back while the team was throwing Bludgers back and forth trying to hit them.

"Actually, I didn't sign up for this."

And then, there were 9.

But Jessie didn't let that kill her spirt. Instead, she smiled, placing a hand on the girl shoulder. "It's okay. Thank you for your honesty. I would rather you tell me now than get hurt later."

And after a few moments, the rest of the people, including Raven mounted their browns and prepared themselves for the battle ahead. She wasn't scared of getting hit with a Bludgers. If anything, she kind of.. wanted to. She felt as if she deserved to at least feel a little pain and what better way than to feel it straight on by her future teammates.

A gentle nudge of someone's elbow caused her to glance to her left.

"If I win, you have to stop calling me second place." Cedric smirked.

Raven felt a teasing smile creep up onto her lips as she leaned in towards him. "If you win."

Cedric scoffed, gently shoving Raven away from him. "Watch me, Ray—Ray. I'm going to win."

"If you say so." Raven hummed.

"I'm going to win alright!" Cedric huffed before he stuck out his hand for Raven to take. "Now, do we have ourselves a deal?—"

"AND GO!" Jessie screamed, interrupting Cedric and Raven's conversation. The two Hufflepuff's were left frozen for a moment, watching as everyone else immediately flew away as if they had been expecting it. "Well, what are you two waiting for? MOVE IT!"

In an instant, Cedric and Raven both reacted, rushing off to catch up to the other hufflepuffs as they tried to close the ever growing distances between them. It felt as if the rest of them had been nearing the edge of the mountain, preparing to jump off while Cedric and Raven were barely arriving. Cedric had flew in front of Raven, creeping past her. Though, Raven was still on the boys tail.

As they flew higher and higher, Raven could see the other players entering the Bludgers battlegrounds. The balls flew passed a few of them, hitting one or two of them and nearly knocking them off of their brooms. From the cries the teens let out, she knew that it must have hurt. She winced as soon as she saw someone get hit in the face.

She looked at Cedric, finding the boy already looking at her as he flew before he smacked his cheek as if to mimic what they just saw. Raven couldn't stop the giggle that left her lips, sounding a little too.. imperfect for Aunt Eleanor's liking. But instead getting upset with her, all Cedric did was smile wide before he turned back, gripping onto his broom once more as he flew faster.

And soon, they had entered the belly of the beast. Cedric entered first as he was in front of Raven. He had managed to dodge the Bludger that had been waiting for him upon entering, barely being able to scrap by. Raven was not far behind him as she allowed the Bludger to hit her head on instead of ducking or moving out of the way. Instead, she adjusted herself to force the ball to hit her shoulders and not her head.

It burned as it continued to dig into her, not stopping even though it made contact with her. Cedric glanced back at her, his eyes twinkled with worry for a moment which caused him to stop.

"Go!" Raven shouted. "I'm fine!"

Cedric still hadn't moved.

"Go!" Raven ordered.

After another second, he obeyed and continued on. Raven sighed, not wanting to be slowed down and let Cedric win because—she really did like calling him second place—that would just cause him to annoy her for a few weeks with bragging rights. 

She did the first thing she thought of.

She used her other hand—the one Bludger wasn't trying to dig into— and grabbed onto the ball, feeling the way it dug into her hand, pushing it back ever so slightly with the force as it kept moving forward. Raven tightened her grip, digging her own nails into ball as it kept spinning in her grasp before she glanced to her left, locking her eyes on her future teammate who was aiming his Bludger at Cedric with a grin.  A tug of anger pooled into her stomach before she launched the Bludger at the girl, colliding with the Bludger she had originally aimed at Cedric.

Raven didn't stick around to see if she could get hit again. Instead, she pushed on, moving passed a few of the other Hufflepuff's who were trying out. Some were hanging on their brooms. Others were dodging in one place, struggling to continue on. But Raven had passed them like lightning in a storm, zipping through different Bludgers that tried to hit her, but instead, she just redirected their aim at another one.

(And if some of them had conveniently hit the ones that were nearing Cedric.. well Raven must have terrible aim because she totally wasn't doing that on purpose. It wasn't like she was afraid that the boy would get hurt and fall off the broom.)

"Too slow, Ray—Ray!" Cedric laughed as soon as he wrapped around the hoop as he made his way back to the Bludgers, Raven hot on his tail.

"You had a head start!" Raven exclaimed, a smile on her lips as she flew. Her hair brushed against the wind, feeling a gentle breeze against her fingers. They ached ever so slightly at the tight grip she had, and she didn't have to look at her nails to know that they were chipped and bleeding from the Bludgers.

But overall, she felt free.

Almost like a kid.

Was this what it was supposed to feel like?

"Ha! In your face, Ray—Ray!" Cedric huffed as soon as he landed onto the floor. Raven neared him, feeling the ache in her body at the ever growing bruises that began to form, but all she did was smile at her friend. "I won! Now, you can't call me second place."

"Technically, we never shook on it." Raven smirked. Cedric gapped.

"What?!" He shrieked. "No! It was a verbal agreement!"

"Was it?" Raven played dumb, a teasing smirk rising onto her face. "I don't think I can quite remember that."

And maybe it was the sunlight, or the wind, or the way Cedric's clothes felt against her skin, but Raven could feel the way her smiles, her smirks had been genuine. She felt free. Almost as if she were a whole other person.

And yet, as soon as she landed, her posture went back to the board like stance she always had. It never strayed, always remaining in place. And she knew as soon as she left and went back into the locker room, she would fix her hair. She would place all of the lose hairs that struck out because of the wind back into place as if they had never been touched or moved.

But for now, in this moment, she was free.

And she would enjoy it.

"You liar!" Cedric exclaimed, smacking Raven's shoulder playfully. Raven couldn't fight the cry that left her lips from the bruise that was already beginning to form. Cedric's demeanor immediately changed as his eyes flashed with concern. His voice softened ever so slightly. "Hey.. what happened?"

"A Bludger." Raven winced as reached out and placed her hand over her shoulder. "I got hit a few times."

"Really?" Cedric questioned. "They seemed to have miss me."

"I wonder why." Raven hummed.

"So, do I." Jessie walked over to the two of them, interrupting their conversation. Raven almost immediately dropped her arm from her shoulder, placing both of her hands to her side as she stood tall in front of her captain's presence.

"Jessie!" Cedric greeted the girl happily. "What do you think? Did we do good? Or better yet, did I do good?"

Cedric glanced over at Raven, waiting for the girl to scold him for his words. But paused at the silence. All she did was stare at Jessie, a distant look in her eyes as the smile that graced her lips vanished as if it was never there in the first place.

"Captain." Raven greeted.

Jessie's eyes softened. "I saw what you did on the field, little one."

"I apologize." Raven stammered out. Her eyes went wide at being caught. "I should have just let the Bludgers hit me straight on. It's just that— umm.. you never said anything about not being able to redirect them, or move them. So, I just thought that it would be okay. But that's no excuse! I should have known better. That was my mistake—"

"Mistake?" Jessie scoffed. She placed her hands on her knees as she leaned down to Raven's level, nearing her face. "Are you bloody kidding me? None of my beaters would even dare to touch a Bludger with their bare hands. But you did and it didn't even look like it hurt."

"Well it stung, but it's nothing I can't handle." Raven mumbled under her breath.

"Exactly!" Jessie exclaimed. "What you did was absolutely brilliant! Which is why I want you to be a beater. And speaking of brilliant—"

Jessie glanced over at Cedric.

"How would you like to be our seeker?"

✦✦✦✦✦✦

Ended.

Their tryouts had ended a few hours later. Raven and Cedric as well as the other new teammate had gotten acquainted with their brooms. Jessie made sure to use the time they had to run drills with their brooms to make sure that the three of them knew how to use it instead of solely relying on their instincts. She wanted them to trust themself and their judgement, even if it was wrong instead of just winging it.

And so, that's what they did.

They started with drills that made them try and fly back and forth across the field at their fastest. Then, Jessie included the goals so that they could make sharp turns and practice how to do so without falling off of their brooms—which happened more times than Raven and Cedric cared to admit. After that, they started to do passing drills. Jessie wanted them to figure out how to play on the broom while flying.

"It's one thing to know how to ride the broom." Jessie had explained. "It's another to know how to play while riding. There are a lot of factors that go into figuring it out."

Raven and Cedric learned quickly how right she was. It looked easy from an outside perspective. How hard could it be to hit a ball? Raven learned just how hard it was. From falling off of the broom because the ball hit her face to missing it completely. Raven had to take her failures without stopping to think and feel humiliated. She couldn't afford to at the moment. She had to figure out what she was doing wrong.

So, she observed the other players. She watched as instead of trying to hit the ball with both hands while flying, they held one hand—their non-dominant hand—tightly on the broom while the other was swiping at the ball. It took a few tries before Raven had hit the ball. Then, she showed Cedric.

"Who's the slowpoke now, Ray—Ray?" Cedric teased, a grin on his face. "I already figured it out. I guess I'm the smarter one out of the two of us."

Raven had launched a ball at him.

After a while, Raven and the other new recruits had grew comfortable in their own skills that Jessie ended the practice, explaining how some other teams needed the field now that they were done. And so, Raven followed the team into the locker room and picked her locker. One right beside Cedric.

"Don't the boys and girls have separate locker rooms?" Cedric had asked. Raven couldn't help but wonder the same thing. As much as she was comfortable around her friend, she knew that once she had to take her clothes off to get dressed, it would be a different story.

"Of course." Jessie smiled. She pointed to a curtain behind her. "Follow me, newbies."

The three of them exchanged a glance before they followed after the captain. She led them to the curtain before she opened it revealing a bathroom with 5 stalls. At the other end of the bathroom was another curtain. Raven furrows her eyebrows at the sight.

"Is this our changing rooms?" The other new girl had spoke up, saying what Cedric and Raven were thinking as well.

"No." Jessie chuckled. "These are the bathrooms for all of us. Our separate showers are in our locker rooms. Over here,"

Jessie walked ahead before she pulled the other curtain open revealing another locker room. One that was identical to the one they were just in. No one was inside of it yet, "Is the girls locker room."

"How do we know that a boy won't spy on us while we change?" The girl asked. "It is just a curtain that separates us."

"If a boy tries to enter with malice intent, even if it's just to take a peak," Jessie explained before she glanced at Cedric, a threatening smirk on her face as she spoke. "Will get hex by wards that I set myself and trust me when I say, that they hurt."

Cedric gulped, feeling the message that the captain was trying to speak wordlessly.

"And if anyone is caught, they will be kicked off the team and will serve detention till the end of the year." Jessie finished. "Do I make myself clear, Diggory?"

"Crystal, Captain." Cedric nodded.

"Good." She smiled before glancing between Raven and the other girl, the same threatening smirk on her face. "The boys locker room has the same wards and the same punishments. So, you better be respectful."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Yes, Captain."

"Now, at the other end of our locker room is the entrance from inside of the school." Jessie continued the tour as she took the newcomers throughout the locker room. She showed them the entrance/exit towards the school and the meeting room that they will all meetup in once they are done getting dressed. It's where they all make their game plan and take their break during halftime.

It had three tables and a huge white board in the middle. Raven could already feel the energy of the room. Unlike home, this room felt calm. Homey. It made Raven feel at ease as if she could feel the past Hufflepuffs energy inside of the room and how happy they were to play the game.

Jessie continued the tour, taking them back into the girls locker room and showing them that beside the bathrooms was the showers. There were six stalls, 3 on each side of the room. At the end of the hall was a wall that blocked off the boys view of the girls shower.

"At the other side is the boys shower." Jessie glanced at Cedric before she continued, "I'll show you right now, Diggory. But just know that the walls of the shower are really thick. It might seem as if they are thin, but remember that there is a lot of plumbing inside of the walls. So, don't worry, no one will be able to break the walls to see you through them. They're completely safe. The boys and the girls. Now, go and pick your lockers."

Raven had quickly chose hers at the end of the wall. She didn't want to be near anyone. She didn't want anyone to see her scars and ask her questions about them. It scared her too much for that to happened.

(Though, between her and Cedric, she chose a locker for him on her side just like he did on his in case either of them wanted more space or just to leave something there for the other.)

"You okay?" Jessie asked, breaking Raven out of her thoughts.

"Of course, Captain." Raven sat up straighter. She had been sitting down on the bench starring into her locker and the one beside it.

Jessie gave Raven a reassuring smile before she sat down beside her, their knees almost touching. Raven felt her face heat up at the proximity while she forced her knee to remain still to not give away how nervous she was.

"Let me guess.." Jessie said, her voice soft as she spoke to Raven. "You're wondering if you picked the right locker for Cedric?"

Raven tensed up, "I'm sorry. I know it's against the rules for him to have a locker over here."

"Don't apologize. I think it's cute." Jessie bumped her shoulders with Ravens, causing the red haired girl to make eye contact with her captain. "Besides, don't tell Diggory this, but I trust him. Usually after I inform the boy new recruits about the rule implemented between the locker rooms, they immediately feel pain."

"And Cedric didn't." Raven concluded.

"No, he didn't." Jessie smiled. "That's the last test before you can join the team."

"And all the people on the team.." Raven asked the silent question that she didn't know if she wanted the answer too.

"They passed it." Jessie stated, a smile of pride overcame her features. "Boys and girls. Including you which is why I trust you two to wait until everyone's done before you enter the locker room or at least, exchange whatever you want in the bathroom."

Raven bit her tongue, trying to find the words that she so desperately seeked to show how Jessie how grateful she feels.

But all that comes out is..

"So.. you're not mad?"

"I'm not mad, little one." Jessie's smile faltered ever so slightly, just enough for Raven to notice the change. She felt a tug of guilt in her stomach for being the cause of it. Jessie brought up her fist, but left out her pinky finger as she looked at Raven.

The red haired girl tilted her head, glancing at the hand confused on what it was and why Jessie had her pinky finger out. Raven glanced at her own hand, wondering if she should mimic the motion and just as she opened her mouth to ask. She paused at the sight of Jessie's eyes softening at the confused look in Raven's eyes. It was almost as if Jessie could see right through her and for a moment, Raven could swear she saw a mirror inside of her eyes.

But she shook it off, glancing down at the pinky hand that turned into a fist. She furrowed her eyes, wondering once more what she should do. Jessie took pity on her and grabbed her left hand gently as if Raven was worth being touched with such delicacy. Raven flinched for a moment, expecting Jessie to pull away as if she had been burned, but the older girl continued.

"This is a fist bump." Jessie explained as she balled up Raven's hand into a fist carefully, softly. Raven couldn't take her eyes off the sight, nor could she stop the blood from rushing to her ears. "Your fist and my fist collide. Like this."

Jessie made her other hand into a fist and Raven braced herself for the pain that would soon follow as she watched their two fist get closer and closer together. Raven bit her tongue to stop the wince from leaving her lips, but she paused in an instant after the fist collided. It wasn't painful.

It didn't hurt. Not one bit.

She glanced down at her fist, searching desperately for the sickening red that usually follows on her Uncle's skin after his fist collides with her skin. But there was none. It looked the same as it always looked.

She glanced over at Jessie's and found the same sight. No red, no pain, not even a wince.

"A fist bump is like my way of saying, Good Job or I'm proud of you." Jessie explained as she reached out her fist again, waiting for Raven to join in on her own. And after a moment, she did, bumping her fist with Jessie's causing a smile to reach up into the Captains eyes. "Or a promise."

"That's so cool." Raven whispered, a sparkle in her eyes as she glanced down at her fist. She could still feel the Jessie's touch as if it burned into her, leaving its mark on her for the rest of her life. "Did you make it up?"

Jessie reached out and fluffed up Raven's hair, a smirk on her lips. "Nope. But that doesn't make it any less special, don't you think?"

"Can we do fist bumps all the time?" Raven asked, a shyness to her tone—afraid that Jessie would say no. But all the Captain did was smile.

"Yup." She nodded, a softness in her eyes as she took in the sight of the red haired girl. "Whenever you want, little one."

Jessie slapped her knees before she stood up causing Raven to flinch for a moment. She glanced over at Raven and gestured with her head, "Come on, we've kept Cedric waiting long enough."

"But the locker.." Raven paused, glancing at the locker she chose for him. It was above hers, right next to the wall just like hers was. She didn't know if Cedric would like it or not. She got to choose her locker before she came to her side. He didn't and she didn't want to upset him.

"He'll like whatever you choose for him." Jessie explained with a smile. "Even though, I haven't known him that long, I know that."

"But what if—"

"Hey." A fist appears in front of Raven, "I promise. Don't forget that my fist bumps hold promises."

Raven hesitated for a moment before she felt herself relax, and collided her fist with Jessie's. "If you say so."

"I know so." Jessie smiled. "I would never lie to you, little one."

Raven locked eyes with Jessie's and despite how much she should be scared with the way the Captain was looking down at her, she couldn't help but feel safe under her gaze. It was as if the Captain gaze held safety inside of them, a wish to protect Raven from the hardships of the world and who was Raven to stop her. It reminded her so much of Hermione and yet, they couldn't be more different.

In a few moments, Raven would be forced to look away, not being able to handle the gaze of her Captain on her. But if it were Hermione, she would gladly admire the girls eyes till her painful death if the gods allowed it. Because Hermione made her feel safe, truly safe under her gaze as if she didn't have to worry about those around her. As if her true focus could just be on the girl in front of her.

Because Hermione was it.

Hermione was everything.

But her Captain took care of her. Made her feel like she belong, and that was enough for Raven. At least, for now.

(She couldn't wait to show Hermione the fist bump and how cool it is.)

"What took you so long?" Cedric asked as Raven walked over to him. He had been lying against a tree, waiting for Raven to walk out of the locker room.

"I was talking to Jessie." Raven hummed before a gentle breeze blew against her back. She shivered, crossing her arms over her chest to get more warmth. She hated the cold. It reminded her too much of the basement. "She was showing me something."

"She is too old for you, Ray—Ray." Cedric argued, his voice stern as he spoke.

Raven glared at him before she smacked his shoulder, "She's a girl, Cedric. Last I checked, I don't like girls."

Cedric remained quiet for a moment as he observed his friend. A part of Raven didn't understand why he kept bringing it up, she wasn't like him. She liked boys. She was supposed to like them.

"Whatever you say, Raven." He stated. Raven felt a tug of guilt pool inside her stomach.

"I'm sorry." Raven blurted out. Her words caught her by surprised with the swiftness of them. "I didn't mean to be so rude. I just.. I don't like girls, okay? Can we leave it at that?"

"Yeah." Cedric shrugged off his rob and placed it against Raven's shoulders. The Rosier girl tensed when his fingers brushed against her shoulders before relaxing when she realized he wasn't going to touch her back. "Now, ice queen, what did Jessie show you?"

"This!" Raven excitedly pulled out her fist. Cedric tilted his head as he furrows his eyebrows. Though, despite him being slightly confused, he couldn't help the smile that he tried to fight off. She still had her perfect posture and her smile still looked unfamiliar on her face as if she didn't know how to hold it for long, but Cedric couldn't help but think that she never looked happier. Even if her smile began to twitch as it struggled to settle onto her lips.

"What?" Cedric asked.

Raven reached out and grabbed his hand before turning it into a fist, and suddenly, Cedric understood.

"A fist bump?" Cedric felt his heart breaking at the excitement in Raven's eyes.

"Yeah!" She bumped her fist with his. "It's so cool. I had no idea that was a thing. Did you know?"

"Yeah." Cedric looked down at her with sad eyes, softening at her star filled ones. "Raven.. did you not know what a fist bump was?"

"No." Raven felt her smile slowly disappear at his words. "Was I supposed to?"

"Well.." Cedric began before he furrows his eyebrows, his gaze locked onto what was ahead of the trail. "What's going on over there?"

Raven followed his gaze. Her eyes finding Hermione in an instant as if she were the one thing that was worth watching. The bushy haired girl was surrounded by the Slytherin and Gryffindor teams as they exchanged words with one another. Raven had been too far to actually hear what they were saying. But Raven's eyes widened at the person that walked out of the Slytherin team in their green colored uniform.

"Is that Malfoy?" Raven gasped. She could recognize that white hair anywhere. She hurried along, wanting to get closer to hear what the commotion was because as much as she didn't like Malfoy, he was still her Dray. "Hurry, Cedric."

"I'm hurrying!" The boy followed after her.

"A gift from Uncle Lucius.." Raven could barely hear her cousins voice. Christopher sounded smug as he addressed Ron, looking down at the blood traitor.

"Are those Nimbus 2001s?!" Cedric exclaimed, his eyes wide as he examined the brooms in the Slytherin team's hands. Raven followed his gaze before locking eyes with Draco's smug expression.

"Of course. He had to buy his way in." Raven mumbled under her breath to Cedric.

"You see, Weasley, unlike some my father can afford the best." Draco taunted, his words striking an arrow into Ron's pride. They all knew who the pureblood blonde was referring to. Raven couldn't help the pity that pooled inside of her stomach at the sight of the Weasley boys hurt expression.

"At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in." Hermione spoke up as she defended Ron. Raven almost immediately felt her gaze lock onto Hermione's back as she longed for the muggle witch to speak to Raven instead. Her voice sounded soft to Raven's ears, even though it was filled with malice towards the white haired pureblood. "They got in on pure talent."

"Oh.." Cedric mumbled under his breath. "That makes so much sense."

Raven glanced over at her friend as her posture instinctively straightened more. She felt her mask slip onto her face as if she had gotten caught doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing. "What?"

"Nothing." Cedric waved her off.

"No. It was something." Raven felt her hands shake at her side as she fought the urge to cross them over her chest defensively. "You mumbled something. What was it?"

Cedric hesitated for a moment more before he opened his mouth to answer.

"No one asked your opinion." Draco's voice instantly caught Raven's ears as she blocked out Cedric's words in-exchange for Draco's. She turned to the white haired boy and saw how close he was to Hermione. "You filthy little mudblood."

Raven saw red.

She thought she knew what it felt like to be angry. To feel a boiling rage inside of her stomach so hot that it felt as if it would burst out of her at any moment, but.. she never felt anything like this. This rage was already out. Already settled down into the world and around Draco's throat before she could even blink. It was as if it made its decision, and for once, the two sides of her agreed.

And so, it settled deep inside of her body, on the edge of her skin, awaiting its turn to attack like a lion hunting its pray. Her gaze never left Draco's even if it wandered towards Hermione's glistening filled eyes for a moment.

She watched—muffled to her ears—as Ronald pulled out his wand, the tip wrapped up in a bandage to hold it together, before he pointed it at Draco. She watched as he was flung back, as he puked slugs, and as Hermione caressed his back with a worried expression even if her eyes softened ever so slightly. She watched as her heart ached. She watched as Harry and Hermione grabbed Ronald's arms and lifted him up before they quickly dragged him away.

And Raven acted.

She moved as if she were following them, or merely trying to go to her next class, and before she knew it, her shoulder had collided with Draco's arm.

"Watch where you're going, Rotten Rosier." Draco had spat at her, earning a laugh from the other Slytherins at the name. And just as Draco opened his mouth to laugh with them, Raven felt the pain that she had been searching for a few hours ago.

She didn't remember when she stopped.

Or who stopped her.

All she could remember was the pain.

She had punched him, and punched him, and punched him, and punched him. Then he flipped her, pulling his hand back and started punching her as well. She could barely feel it, could barely acknowledge the pain of the hits that felt like nothing compared to the whips. She persisted. She punched his gut, earning a groan from him, before she elbowed his face causing him to collide onto his back once more. She could feel the arms of others trying to get her off, but she wouldn't budge.

Not when Hermione's tear filled eyes were still burned into her mind.

"Raven, stop!" It sounded muffled to her ears.

She knew she hurt them when they tried to take her off. She could feel it in her elbow and in the way they groaned in pain, but she didn't care. All she cared about was showing Malfoy the same pain he showed Hermione day in and day out. He'd suffer the same fate, if not, worse when she was done with him.

Raven knew it was going to be over soon when she felt the grown arms wrapping around her arms and pulling her off of Draco effortlessly as if Raven weighted nothing to them. And so, she acted quickly. She slammed her head back into the person, and scrambled towards Draco as soon as her feet touched the ground again.

"Someone get her off of me!" Draco cried out.

Raven grabbed his uniform with her bloody fists and pulled him up to her face, merely whispering so that only he could hear her threat. "Call her a mudblood one more time. I bloody dare you."

"Are you talking about Granger?" Draco's eyes widened, his face filled with fear. Raven couldn't even admire her handy work before she felt multiple arms grab ahold of her.

And so, with one final act, she kicked her foot out and smacked Draco across the face.

"Say it again! I dare you!"