All For Her

Crack.

"You did this to me."

"No, I—"

"YOU DID THIS TO ME!"

Gasp.

Raven tumbled out of her bed with a start as she runs to their dorm bathroom in the dead of night. She could barely see in front of her, couldn't even hear the way the wind blew against the window. All she could hear was the pounding of her heart as it was attempting to escape her body. Her feet pattered against the floor—sounding way too loud— as she stumbled to the bathroom with a hand over her mouth to halt the lump that threatened to spill from her lips any second now.

She quickly gripped onto the bathroom door, turning it open, before she entered the bathroom, slamming the door against the wall as she quickly turned the lights on and puked her guts out over the toilet. It was hard, difficult as the wave of nausea overcame her. She could feel the way the pricking thorns slammed against her throat as it forced its way out. Her grip tightened against the toilet seat as her jaw opened wider, and the rush of chips and popcorn launched out of her like a spell launching out of a wand.

Hard and fast.

And painful, especially with the way it scratched against her throat, clawing it's way back to land instead of her stomach. It continued. Nonstop. Only allowing for a few seconds of mercy in its attack before it forced its way out of her again, leaving her in a shaking state of pain. Cold. Breathless, as she gasped out for air, trying to fill her lungs. It burned, ached in a way that was solely reserved for her insides. It was as if something had grabbed ahold of her stomach, squeezing it so tightly that it made everything shoot back up and out of her as if the things she had eaten never truly belonged.

Her head spun as her final bits of water—not food because her stomach had long since been empty since she started puking— finally made its way up and out of her throat, burning it on the way. She could hear her heart beating inside of her ears, could hear her own ears ringing at the lack of air she was receiving and she could feel the hand that was rubbing her back and holding her hair as she collapsed, laying her head onto the toilet—

She held her breathe before she turned around, smacking the hand that was rubbing her back away from her.

"Don't—" She coughed. "Don't touch me!"

Except she didn't make contact with a hand or anyone for that matter. She just hit the air, it was almost as if—

Oh.

That's right.

None of her friends ever came into the bathroom. Of course they didn't. She was just hallucinating because she was— pathetic— sleep deprived and the nightmare took more out of her than she had realized. So, her subconscious made her think was here with her— To what? Punish her? Probably.

She was trembling as another gag racked through her body before the familiar burning sensation forced its way out of her lips and plummeted into the water of the toilet. She gripped onto the toilet seat once more, as tears slide down her face from the force that the liquid used.

Drip. Drip. Drip. Tear after tear fell into the belly of the beast that had eaten all of the food inside of her stomach, squeezing her insides so tightly that she could barely breathe. Her hair had fallen inside of the water, reminding her of her worth once more. Reminding her that she was considered trash, even to herself.

She didn't know how long she stayed there, gripping the toilet seat so hard she surprised it didn't break under her grasp. She hated this. She hated how pathetic she looked. How.. imperfect it was. And she hated how her body— her stomach— wasn't used to eating like last year. She could barely handle eating popcorn and chips. Looks like Aunt Eleanor's methods.. affected her more than she wanted.

She couldn't help but wonder how the Golden Girl was dealing with this?

Katherine had it far worse than Raven and yet, it almost seemed as if it didn't faze her. A sick and twisted feeling spread into her stomach, twisting her insides that was different than her puking her guts out. It didn't feel quite like anger, or sadness. But it did feel hard, heavy.

A feeling she normally associated with Katherine (and sometimes Christopher) on a daily basis. A feeling so twisted, and full that she could never place her finger on what it was. It almost made her feel like she.. hated Katherine, but that couldn't be the case. No. She loves Katherine.

The older girl had always been there for Raven since they were kids, and treated her more like family than their own at times. But still, Katherine had no idea what it was like to be whipped. To feel the burning of leather against her pale clean skin as she tries fight the urge to struggle against the restraints because she knew that if she didn't, and she'd try and tug at them, Uncle Nicholas would make her regret it.

Oh, how Raven knew.

(And some part of her, deep down, hated that Katherine didn't know.)

But it's alright. Raven was glad— but that didn't stop the twisted feeling inside of her gut to grow with each passing thought of Katherine— that she hadn't known how it felt. It made her feel a little relieved if she were to be honest. She could tell that Christopher shared the same sentiment, neither of them had ever wanted Katherine to experience the hurt that they have.

It wouldn't seem fair. Not to Raven at least, considering the fact that Katherine had never done anything wrong like Christopher and Raven. Instead, Katherine always followed the rules and obeyed. She never talked back, never questioned, never spoke out of turn. She was perfect in every way.

And in this moment, Raven was not.

Raven reached her hand out, making contact with the coldness of metal before she pushed down. She winced as the loud swish sound echoed inside of the quiet bathroom. She had hoped none of her roommates had woken up to that.

Raven allowed for a few more moments of weakness as she rested her pounding forehead against the coolness of the toilet lid before she forced herself to get up with slightly watery hair. Her legs wobbled, causing her to lose her balance for a moment as she quickly placed her hand the wall to steady herself. She blinked a few times, trying to calm herself down and get control of her legs again.

Seconds—that felt like hours to Raven—passed before she attempted to move towards the sink again. Thankfully, the weakness in her legs drifted away as if it were never there in the first place.

(If they still trembled ever so slightly, that was her business.)

Raven couldn't stop her lips from parting when she finally, finally made eye contact with the sapphire eyes she could not recognize. She gripped the sink tightly to stop the tremble in her fingertips from showing. She couldn't afford another moment of imperfection or she might break.

Her once chubby cheeks had sunken into her face, looking like someone had placed a hand onto her face and squeezed, forcing her inner cheek to grind against her teeth. Her sapphire eyes had bags under them. Dark, and long bags that went down all the way to her cheekbones. It looked as if someone had drew them themselves, darkening the shade with the blackest marker they could find. She was choosing to ignore the dried tear stains, and the red eyes.

All she could focus on was how she looked. It was bad. It was really, really bad. She looked so.. ugly. Actually, ugly isn't even the right word to describe how she felt. She felt down right hideous. No wonder Natasha (and Melanie) caught onto her not doing well.

Raven was a wreck.

(Would Aunt Eleanor be proud?)

She reached out towards the mirror, trying to see if she could swipe away the image. But upon seeing the ridged, pink burden on her left hand, she slammed her hand against the sink as if she had been burned. There was only one scar that Raven could ever forget, the scar on her left hand she could remember having her entire life.

It was the one scar that Aunt Eleanor never really cared for. A scar that was on her left palm on the night of her families demise.

A scar that she truly despised—worse than her other scars— because it still hurt. It pulses randomly, and even opens back up. Sometimes she can barely pick up a thing with her left hand because it feels too tender to do so.

Raven glanced down at it before placing balling her hand into a fist, wincing at the pain of the tenderness of the scar. She shut her eyes, allowing herself to feel it. She deserved it, didn't she? It was the least she could do to pay for her parents sins. Feeling pain that feels as if needles are prickling into her skin, stabbing, and stabbing, and stabbing, until her fist is trembling so badly in her grasp.

Raven cried out before she stopped, breathing heavily as a blanket of relief fell over her left hand. God, it always decides to hurt when she is having a moment of weakness. Almost as if it knows and just wants her to suffer.

But then sometimes, it's just random.

And yet, it always hurts. A dull hurt that she could handle to the point where she doesn't even acknowledge it anymore.

Nonetheless, she shakes her hand before placing it her right palm and gently pushed her thumb into it, trying to massage the pain away as she turned towards the bathroom door. Raven knew she needed a shower, and she was not going to risk not having her clothes inside with her. She quickly, but quietly opened the bathroom door trying to not let her beating heart distract her from her task at hand.

She did her best to ignore the way the light from the bathroom faded into their dark room right onto Veronica's bed which was empty as she began to rummage through her drawers by her bed and—

Veronica's bed was empty?

Raven turned, clothes in hand as she took in the sight of her empty room. No one was in there bed, and that was weird considering her roommates are usually out way earlier than Raven was. Raven wanted to shrug it off but couldn't stop the way her heart ached with worry of where her friends were.

For now, she'd shower. But if they still aren't back when she's done then, she'll go and look for them.

So, Raven quickly got to work, walking over to the bathroom door once more with her clothes in hand before she turned on the water. She stripped from her clothes and stepped into the shower. A chill ran through her body as the coldness of the water hit against her ridged skin. For now during the beginning of the school year, she'll shower in the cold until it becomes cold outside. She can't afford to be sick.

She stayed in the shower for a while, cleaning away the throw up on her hair and scrubbing her skin till it was red and bruised. She hesitated before turning around, feeling the coldness on her back. She bit her lip to stop herself from crying out as the pain from the scars were still there. Still tender, despite being healed. It felt sensitive, too sensitive.

After she had finished, she got out of the shower and got dressed into the same pajamas she wore before. It's not like she had another set of clothes that she could wear, considering the fact that Aunt Eleanor and Uncle Nicholas only ever got her the bare minimum. And she left majority of her old clothes in her Godfather's house over the summer.

(He liked to spoil all three of them and buy them whatever they wanted.)

With a quick wave of her hand, her hair was dry. Raven chose to ignore how her stomach began to rumble, aching for food. Raven glanced at the mirror on her way out of the bathroom and saw that she still looked.. hideous, but at least, she was clean. Her bones ached, begging for the comfort of her bed but as soon as she stepped out into her dorm, she saw that none of her friends had returned to bed still.

Worry began to build up inside of Raven as she glanced around. Movie night hadn't last that long before. Usually, it was over after a few hours. But no one had returned yet. Raven moved to her dresser and quickly hung her towel before feeling a tug in her pocket. She looked down, eyes wide before sighing in relief when she pulled out one of the chocolate frogs that she had forgotten about.

She held it tightly in her fingers as she examined the one that had woken up from its slumber, "I forgot I grabbed you."

She shook her head before shoving it back into her pocket. Raven had grabbed them for Cedric to scare him during the movie night a few hours ago after what he had did to her in the great hall. It was only fair.

Raven continued on, walking out of the dorm and into the hallway. She felt the pit of worry cool down slightly at the familiar sight of dim light in the hallways. Even though she hadn't been to any of the other houses, she knew that Hufflepuff was the only house that always had some sort of light on. It always relaxed her whenever her and Cedric would sneak out.

Her soft footsteps hit the floor, not a sound was made as she walked to the end of the hall. She shivered— ignoring the memory of Aunt Eleanor bruising ruler against her wrist when she had thought her footsteps were too loud and unlady like because of the noise— as she continued on, hearing the quiet murmurs of people below the balcony.

She walked over to the end of the balcony, her eyes widening at the crowd of people below talking amongst themselves with multiple quills out as if they were studying— or planning— something without her once more. Raven knows she should be used to it, but that doesn't mean it still didn't sting.

She fought the urge to rub her chest to ease the ache as she searched the whispering crowd for her friends, but that didn't stop her from gripping— so hard her hand turned white— the wooden balcony. She narrowly avoided the vines that wrapped themselves around the ledge, but she could feel the gentle brush against her hand as if the plant wanted to offer her some comfort.

"Ray—Ray!" Cedric exclaimed as soon as Raven locked eyes with his. The crowd down below fell silent at the announcement of her arrival. She inhaled—to distract herself from the familiar ache in her chest— before shooting her friend a forced smile. "What are you doing up?"

"Uhh—" Raven felt uncomfortable with the amount of eyes that turned to her. "I— um.."

"Well?" Cedric pushed.

Raven bit her inner lip to stop the burning sensation on her neck to surround itself onto her cheeks, brightening them to fire. "I live here?"

Silence followed after her answer, but Raven could have sworn she heard a few snickers down below. Cedric continued to look up at her with a gentle smile, and Raven felt her back straighten at the sheer power of his grin. It felt as if he could see right through her.

Raven gulped down the flames that threatened to expose themselves onto her cheeks before she felt her facade latch onto her. She glanced around, searching for her friends once more in the ever so silent room.

"Looking for someone?" Cedric asked again as the mumbles of the crowd continue to watch the two of them.

"My friends." Raven continued to glance around the crowd. "They're not in bed."

The crowd fell silent once more at the slam of the barrel opening into the common room. Raven couldn't stop the flinch that escaped her at the sound of the bang, a chill of fear ran up her spine.
It certainly didn't help that Cedric's burning gaze hadn't left her.

"AH!" Melanie shrieked. "Tasha! You're going to wake up all of Hogwarts!"

"We're in the basement, Mels." Veronica rolled her eyes. "The only people she'll wake up will probably be the Slytherin's."

"Ugh," Sophia groaned. "I hate those snacks."

"You mean snakes?" Natasha raised her eyebrow.

"That's what I said." Sophia stated.

"I—" Natasha sighed. "Okay."

Sophia beamed before she skipped towards Melanie, wrapping her arm around the girl that was holding a bunch of snacks. "Melanie, you love me, right?"

"Yeah!" Melanie smiled brightly. "Your one of my best friend."

"Exactly." Sophia hummed. "So, you'll share some snacks with me, right?"

"Ummm," Melanie sighed before handing her some chips. "Sure. Here."

"Me too, Melanie!" Veronica begged and Melanie, not being able to say no, gave Veronica a bag as well. "Thank you, sweetheart! Your the best!"

Natasha walked over and stood next to Melanie, sending the girl a soft smile. Melanie sighed before she met her gaze. "You want one too?"

"No." Natasha said. "I'm good, thanks."

Melanie smiled back, a genuine smile before turning back to the crowd only to realize that everyone was looking at them. Veronica and Sophia were walking beside the two of them, eating and conversing with each other.

Raven felt herself sigh in relief at the sight of her friends alive and well, especially after the nightmare she had. Her hands relaxed, releasing the harsh grip they had on the balcony as her aching heart felt some sick sense of relief at the sight of them.

God, she could still see the image of Melanie hung up by her chains. She exhaled shakingly, hating her own mind for conjuring up the image of her best friend like that for her dreams. She would do anything and everything in her power to never let Melanie be in that position even if it meant that she would.

And yet, Raven could think and say all of this, but would it ever be true? They were just words. Thoughts. Feelings. Not actions. If the opportunity to protect Melanie presented itself, would she do it? Would she protect her friend?

(Yes. She would.)

"What?" Natasha asked, breaking Raven out of her thoughts.

"Why is everyone starring at us?" Melanie leaned closer to Natasha, whispering under her breathe.

"Do you guys have a bloody starring problem or something?" Veronica scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"N— No." Someone answered, stuttering before pointing up at Raven who stiffened. "Uhh, Rosier was looking for you."

Raven felt all the eyes turned back to her and she gulped down the need to run away. She couldn't do that now, not when her friends are looking at her with slightly wide eyes as if they were shocked that Raven had even cared about there disappearance.

That burned her more than anything else.

"Aww, were you worried about us, Rosie?" Natasha teased, a tug of a smirk on her lips. Raven scoffed, rolling her eyes at Natasha's words.

"In your dreams, Tasha." Raven narrowed her eyes at her. "I just wanted to see if Veronica was too scared to leave again."

"It happened one time!" Veronica huffed.

Sophia laughed. "And it was hilarious!"

"Oh my god!" Melanie exclaimed, before grabbing onto Natasha's arm with one hand and shaking her in excitement. "Wasn't she too scared to run into a powderpuff girl?"

"It's power-puff girl, Melanie. Not powderpuff!" Natasha laughed, while Raven bit back her smile as hard as she could, tasting the iron on her tongue. She couldn't afford any weakness like that.

"Anyways, I see that you girls are okay," Raven stated, feeling a little left out as they continued to laugh amongst each other. But it's okay, she was used to it. Plus, it's not like they heard her. "So, I'm just going to go to sleep—"

"Goodnight, Rae!" Melanie called out, waving her bye. Raven felt her heart warm up at the action.

"Nighty—Nighty, Rae!" Sophia exclaimed.

Veronica giggled. "Don't roll off the bed!"

"I better not hear your snoring from here!" Natasha smirked, but everyone could hear the tease in her voice.

Raven turned to her, narrowing her eyes at her friend, feeling light. "I don't snore!"

"Keep telling yourself that!"

Raven rolled her eyes before she continued back to her dorm room, feeling the ache of her heart disappeared as if it were never there in the first place. She couldn't help the smile that tugged up onto her lips. It was a genuine grin, and she felt it within her whole self.

She felt safe, and loved.

So much so that she had forgotten that they were talking amongst the entire house of Hufflepuff and not just themselves.

"Ray—Ray!"

Raven punched the shit out of Cedric.

"UGHH!" Cedric gripped his stomach as the air got knocked out of him. "Damn, for someone so little you sure know how to punch."

"Well, you shouldn't have snuck up on me!"

"What? No apology?"

"You snuck up on me!" Raven exclaimed.

"That's fair." Cedric groaned before he inhaled, still holding his stomach as he looked at Raven with a mischievous smile. "So..."

"No."

"But I didn't even say anything yet!" Cedric exclaimed, a fake look of offense crossed his face. Raven rolled her eyes at the look.

"I already know what your going to say!" Raven argued, feeling the weight of the world disappear just like it usually did around Cedric. But recently, after her realization on the train about how lucky she was, she couldn't help but notice the way she was trying.

At least tonight.

Maybe because her stomach was empty and she was too exhausted to even think of the consequences.

(Yup, definitely a tomorrow problem).

"What was I going to say?" Cedric lifted his eyebrow, looking more like a kid than she did.

"Come on," Raven began to mock Cedric. "Let's sneak out, short stack. It's the perfect time."

"Oh my god, Ray—Ray!" Cedric gasped, a faint hint of a smile that he tried not to show shined through his face. "That's such a good idea. I knew you had some brain cells inside of that head of yours."

"What—" Raven stuttered. "I didn't even—"

"Nu—Uh." Cedric smirked. "You suggested it, so let's go."

"This is a form of kidnapping."

"At least I don't snore."

✦✦✦✦✦✦

"Cedric."

"Mhm?" Cedric hummed as they walked in the dark halls of Hogwarts. He was gripping onto a broomstick, and so was Raven.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Raven asked, clenching her jaw to try and calm her racing heart. Cedric had suggested that the two of them practice for the upcoming try outs tomorrow afternoon. Raven had reminded Cedric that she wasn't even going to try out, but he convinced her to at least help him. "I mean.. we did take the teams brooms."

"Are you scared?" Cedric teased.

"A.." Raven sighed. If they got caught, Raven could already feel her back aching in pain. "A little bit actually."

Cedric reached out, ruffling Raven's hair with a gentle smile on his face. "Don't be, Ray—Ray."

"But what if we get caught?" Raven questioned.

Cedric shrugged as if it was no big deal. "Then, I'll take the blame if a Professor catches us."

Raven gapped before she grabbed his arm, halting him in his step. "I can't let you do that."

"This is my decision, Raven." Cedric said softly, before he winked at her. "Plus, it's been too long since I've graced Professor McGonagall with my presence."

"Professor McGonagall?" Raven rolled her eyes before they continued walking. "Seriously?"

"Your right!" Cedric exclaimed quietly in the echoey hallway. "Maybe I get stuck with Professor Grouchy."

Raven felt a smile tug up and onto her lips, resting there as if it felt safe. "You mean Professor Snape?"

"Same difference."

"It's really not."

"Hopefully I can get him to smile during detention." Cedric said, making Raven rolled her eyes. "No one can resist my charms."

Raven scoffed, feeling a familiar buzz of warmth under her skin whenever she was around Cedric. The first time she had felt the feeling, she had hated it, even was a bit scared by it. She had thought that she liked him like that. But then, after being around him for a little bit, she realized that she just felt safe to be around him. That's just how it felt to be around Cedric.

Safe and warm.

"I swear sometimes I think your into older men." Raven stated as a joke, not really meaning anything by that statement.

"I— I'm not." Cedric stuttered. Raven turned to him, an eyebrow raised at the brightness of his ears.

"You stuttered!" Raven felt a teasing smirk tug up onto her lips. Cedric narrowed his eyes back at her, a faint red clouded his cheeks.

"Did not!" Cedric exclaimed.

"Oh my god." Raven gapped in disbelief. "You like older men."

"Are they really older if they're only a year or two older than you?" Cedric countered, shrugging. Raven furrowed her eyebrows with a teasing grin on her face. Cedric faced away from Raven, feeling her burning gaze on the side of his face. "Maybe even 10."

10?

Oh.

Oh.

"Wait a minute." Raven cringed. "Ew, Ew, Ew! You like Professor Snape?!"

"Like is a strong word." Cedric scoffed nervously. He reached up, scratching behind his ears. "Do I want to see him smile? Yes. Have I pictured his laugh? Sometimes. Do I find his brooding face attractive? Debatable."

"Please tell you that you do not have a crush on my godfather." Raven exclaimed.

"Professor Snape is your godfather?!" Cedric shouted, causing Raven to smack him harshly on his shoulder. "Ow! Stop hitting me baby troll!"

"Be quiet! You might wake someone up! And I am not a baby troll!" Raven hushed her friend before mumbling under her breathe. "Someone kill me now."

"Wait, you can't just drop a bomb like that!" Cedric whispered shouted, "Explain!"

Raven pointed at him. "You explain why you have a crush on my godfather!"

"Easy." Cedric hummed. "I just find him attractive."

"Attractive?" Raven scoffed. It's not like she didn't like her Godfather, but it's just weird when someone her age likes him, especially someone as bubbly as Cedric.

"Yeah." Cedric nodded being he shivered as if he were reliving a moment. "Something about his dark and brooding energy is just.. attractive."

Raven raised her eyebrow at the forced pink plagues his cheeks. "Are you blushing?"

"Shut up." Cedric waved her off, huffing. He glanced at her, raising his eyebrow as if that action would convince Raven to answer all of his questions. "Now, you explain. How long has he been your godfather?"

Raven rolled her eyes at his words, not wanting to meet his gaze. She knows that she should scold herself for her slip up. She hadn't wanted anyone to know about who her godfather was. It was a secret after all. She didn't want anyone to think she was getting special privileges.

She just hoped Cedric wouldn't think so or any of her friends. She was already known as the cursed child that was destined to kill them all because of her parents. Everyone around her expected her to follow her parents legacy, and commit unspeakable things, but Raven..

Her stomach couldn't handle the thought of hurting another person like that.

"Since I was born." Raven answered instantly. Then, she huffed, glancing back at Cedric as she pointed her finger at him knowingly. "But rewind, of course you would find dark and brooding people attractive."

"Not people." Cedric corrected, a love sick smile overcame his features. "Men. Something about them is ugh, ya know?"

Ugh? What was so ugh about a guy?

Raven tried to picture what Cedric meant in her mind. She pictured Theodore, allowing her brain to try and remember the details surrounding his figure. She tried to remember the last thing he wore the last time she saw him, but for some reason her brain came up blank. It was as if she didn't put much care into how he looked, or even his face. Did he have freckles? Or was his face just.. pale? She couldn't remember.

Next, she tried to picture Draco and they're last conversation. He had to have been wearing his Slytherin robs as they were in class, but were they too big on him? Did they fit him just right? Did the sleeve reach passed his palm? Or did they fit snuggling at his wrist? Raven brushed that assigned for a later date. His uniform wasn't important now. Instead, she tried to picture his face. Was his white hair gelled? Of course it was, Draco always had his haired gelled.

Even then, Raven persisted. She thought about what Draco had made her feel during that moment. Her heart didn't race like it says in the books, but then again, this was real life and not some fantasy. So maybe, what she feels is different? She felt a certain ache in her heart, like someone had stabbed her because of Draco's hateful words.

Is that it?

Was she supposed to feel some sort of ache inside of her chest? Was that love? Theodore made her feel that way too. He made her heart ache and hurt like a scorpion stabbing into its target and watching it die. Draco made her feel as if a snake had bitten into her over and over again till she felt it's venom consume her body leaving her breathless—too much like a panic attach—and wishing for it to stop.

This had to be love, right? Or something similar to it? If so, maybe she was better off without it.

"No. I really don't." Raven said, quietly.

Cedric caught on quickly to her silent mood, gripping onto his broomstick for a moment as he tried to find his words. "Don't you have crushes?"

Raven clenched her jaw. "No."

"Are you sure?" Cedric pushed, and yet, Raven had never once felt as if he would force an answer out of her. He was just being genuine. And if Raven had said to stop, he would have.

"Absolutely." Raven nodded before she exhaled out of her nose, feeling the way her body reacted to the sudden exposure as if she was expecting to be whipped at any moments because of her own words and feelings. "Men are just.. not it."

Cedric went quiet for a moment, looking as if he were in deep thought. "What about women?"

A certain Gryffindor that haunted her sketchbook flashed inside of her brain at his words.

Raven tensed up. She gripped onto the broomstick as if she were holding onto a cliffs edge for dear life. She could practically feel her aunts breath against the back of her neck, reminding her of her pressure whether she was here or not. Her back felt the familiar stings of nails digging into her skin, piercing through her, and reminding her of her imperfection. She didn't even want to think of the way her heart was pounding so loud that she was afraid Cedric could hear it. She could feel the cruel prickling on her neck, tightening it's grip around her air to seal her mouth shut.

"Don't even joke about that." Raven spat, sounding so much unlike herself that it surprised her. She hadn't known that she was capable of sounding so.. venomous.

"I'm not joking." Cedric said.

Raven sighed, not meeting Cedric's eyes as she tried to calm herself down. "Okay, then what about them?"

"Do you find girls attractive?" Cedric turned to face her, burning his gaze into the side of Raven's face as they walked. Everything in Raven wished that he would just look away.

"How..." Raven felt her body move before she even proceed that she had stopped, turning to face her friend with a confused look. "How would you know if you found girls to be attractive?"

"Easy." Cedric said softly. He had given Raven a gentle smile as the weight of the situation hit him. He knew that Raven would be listening to his words, and what he said could change everything and nothing for her. So, he had to be careful. Plus, she was looking at him as if she were a little kid that was lost at Diagon Alley searching for her parents in the crowd. It was too vulnerable of a look for him to joke around in this moment. "You just have to ask yourself these questions. Do you get nerves in your stomach when your around her? Do you enjoy hearing her  laugh or seeing her smile? Do you have a better day when your with her?"

As Cedric was speaking, Raven couldn't help but think of Hermione Granger. The muggleborn witch that had haunted her every waking moment. The witch that burned itself into her brain and inspired Raven to draw her in a way that no one had ever drew the girl. Perfect. Because she was and everyone should be blessed to see that too.

Sure, Granger made her a little nervous. But she didn't think that's what Cedric meant. She was only nervous because she was drawing her. It's not as if she wanted to see her smile. Plus, Raven wasn't even around Hermione enough to understand feelings like that. She only drew her from a far and sketched her for her eyes only. She liked drawing Granger, especially the way her robs always fit her a little too big, reaching only to the end of her palm so that she could slide them inside of her robs if she were cold. Her tie was always perfect, and yet, not quite like Ravens.

Grangers black and red tie was always a little bit loose as if she needed some breathing room when she worked. And after spending sometimes observing Granger, the muggle born always worked three times as hard than her friends. She noticed that the girl always slowed down her work to allow her friends to look over her shoulder and sneak a peak at her answers, which made Raven's heart warm at her kindness.

And sure, her laugh sounded.. fine. But it wasn't as if Raven craved to hear the sound again. It's not like they were even friends. The girl hated Raven, and Raven just.. sketched her because the muggleborn caught her eye.

Right? That's it. That had to be it, and yet, Raven couldn't help but go over the list again in her head.

Does Raven get nerves in her stomach when she's around Granger? No, she did not. She was only nervous because she was drawing Hermione without the other girls knowledge. Anyone would be nervous to do that.

Does Raven enjoy hearing Granger laugh or seeing her smile? Who wouldn't want to hear someone else laugh? Raven certainly enjoyed making Melanie laugh or any of her other friends. It's common courtesy to want to hear another person laugh. That doesn't mean that Raven has feelings. Or that her heart is squeezing so hard inside of her chest that the whole world fades away except Granger.

Does Raven have a better day when she's with Granger? She wouldn't say her day was better because she had a glimpse of Hermione in one of their shared classes, but.. they weren't worse? Plus, Draco and her other friends were in those classes so, that's just a bad question.

Getting reminded of Draco, Raven felt her heart ache once more.

Right.

This is what love is supposed to feel like.

"I... I like guys." Raven said, sounding more like she was trying to convince herself instead of Cedric. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"That's okay." Cedric hummed, reaching out and ruffling her hair once more. Raven couldn't find it in herself to smack his hand away. "We're almost there anyways."

"You said that 20 minutes ago."

"And I meant it 20 minutes ago." Cedric countered, a teasing grin on his face. "It's not my fault you have short legs."

"Oh please, as if you can't touch the roof with how tall you are." Raven narrowed her eyes at him.

"Thank you."

"It wasn't a complement."

The conversation got interrupted with the sound of Cedric's stomach gurgling. The boy moved his hand to his stomach, groaning, "Man, we should have brought snacks."

"I have some snacks." Raven fought the urge to smirk as she remembered the chocolate frogs in her pocket.

"Really?" Cedric exclaimed.

"Yup." Raven hummed. "And they're your favorite. Close your eyes."

Cedric rolled his eyes before he obeyed, shutting his eyes at Raven's words. Raven smirked as she pulled out two chocolate frogs from her pocket. She could feel them trying to hop away, but thankfully, she gripped their faces so not a noise would be heard from them.

Raven slowly brought the chocolate frog over to Cedric's face, gripping it tightly before she placed it on his shoulder, not even hiding her grinning face as her stomach filled with warmth. The chocolate frog stayed absolutely still on Cedric's shoulder, not even breathing. Raven could feel the second on in her other hand still struggling in her hold, but she made no move to place him on Cedric as well.

"Okay, frog boy." Raven said. "Open your eyes."

"Did you just call me Fr—" Cedric opened his eyes before he heard it. The loud and forced sound of the chocolate frog on his shoulder. "FROGGGG!"

In mere seconds, Cedric was sprinting away as he was trying to out run a frog that was on his shoulder. His broom was long forgotten and on the floor, clattering as he ran away.

"OH MY GOD! RAVEN! GET THIS SHIT OFF OF ME!" Cedric fell, slipping on the rug in the hall and onto his face. He shrieked when he felt the frog jump on his head. "AHHHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!!"

Raven couldn't stop it if she tried.

An unfamiliar feeling overcame her chest, forcibly erupting out of her. It was as if Raven was weightless, flying away in the wind without a worry in the world. Her posture hadn't changed, but it relaxed. And she felt a buzz in her chest, as the echo of her laughter escaped throughout the hall. She felt warm, and free as the sound forced its way out of Raven, causing her to shut her eyes and clutch her stomach as the side began to sting.

"It's not funny, Ray—Ray!" Cedric exclaimed. Raven could not take him seriously as water clouded her vision. "I'm serious! I could have died."

"I can't—" Raven struggled to breathe, a wheeze overcame her. She shook her head as tears trailed down her warm and slightly pink cheeks. She was still gripping the second chocolate frog in her hands.

A few more moment passed before Raven's laughter began to die down, and a calmness overcame her. She sighed, feeling warm all over. Cedric had grabbed the broomstick off of the floor and was waiting for her to finish laughing with a small smile on his face.

"Are you done?" Cedric asked.

"Yeah. I'm done." Raven exhaled. "A chocolate frog? Seriously, Ced? Wait, no. Frog boy! That's your new name. Cedric the Frog boy!"

"Do not call me frog boy!" Cedric exclaimed.

"I could call you scary cat." Raven countered, a smile resting on her lips. "Scary frog doesn't sound as funny."

"Neither!" He huffed. "No nicknames!"

"Your no—" Raven reached up, feeling wetness on her cheeks. She froze for a moment. "I.. what is.."

"Raven?" Cedric questioned the girl, concerned with the sudden mood change.

"I was crying?" Raven was confused.

"Yeah." Cedric looked a little lost. His eyebrows furrowed as he spoke. "Cause you were laughing too hard."

"Like happy tears?"

"Yeah. Like happy tears." Cedric nodded before a puzzled look went over his face. "I'm sorry, are you messing with me?"

"No, I just..." Raven wiped her face with her sleeve, swiping the evidence away and soaking it on her pajamas. "That's never happened to me before."

"Really?" Cedric asked, his eyes filled with concern for a moment. "Never."

"I've never laugh that hard in my life." Raven admitted, a sigh leaving her lips before she attempted another smile to change the mood. "Sooo, are you still hunger?"

Raven showed Cedric the second chocolate frog. The boy flinched away, but Raven hadn't moved to take a step forward. She was just showing him what she had in her hands.

"Do you want some?" Raven asked.

"Uhhh, I'm good, thanks." Cedric shook his head, a nervous laugh escaped his lips.

"Have you even tried them?" Raven pushed. Cedric gulped before he shook his head. "Why not?"

"They're alive." Cedric stated. "I just don't want to kill it even if it's just chocolate."

"But would you care if someone else did it?" Raven questioned, looking at the boy with genuine eyes.

"Not really. I just don't think I could do it, ya know?" Cedric shrugged. "I don't want it to suffer just so I could eat."

Raven smiled before she placed her other palm over the frog's face, gripping it tightly to prepare herself for the face process. She could feel Cedric's burning gaze on her as she quickly broke its neck, halting its movements before she tore off the head.

"See?" Raven offered a gentle smile, looking and feeling a little more mature in this moment than the boy beside her. It was during moments like this where she was reminded that he was just a kid too and only two years older than her. "Swift and painless. He didn't feel a thing. Here."

Raven handed Cedric the limp body of the chocolate frog. The boy took it with a slight tremble in his fingertips. "Try it."

"But—"

"It's not alive, Cedric." Raven reached her hand out and placed it on his shoulder. She gave it a gentle squeeze. "They only spell them so that people would be more tempted to buy them. For the kids, ya know?"

"How do you know?" Cedric asked, his voice quiet as he looked down at the limp chocolate frog in his hand.

He was too kind for his own good.

"My Uncle Nicholas took his kids and I on a trip for a business conference. The conference was actually about local sweets and whether or not they were safe enough to be sold to the public." Raven explain, watching as Cedric hung onto every word. What she left out was that a few days before her Uncle Nicholas had whipped Christopher for the first time. "The wizard who made the chocolate frogs showed everyone, even us, that the frogs were just chocolate until a spell was placed on them. And then, once you touched them, they come to life."

"So, they're not alive?" Cedric asked.

"No." Raven squeezed his shoulder. "They're not alive and they don't feel pain either."

Cedric hesitated for a few moments before he brought the frog to his lips, and bit down on the frog. Raven watched as he chewed the frog, unsure like before his eyes sparkled as he took another bite, and another, and another till he finished it.

"You want the head?" Raven held it out for him. Cedric's face fell at the reveal.

"I'm good." He shook his head. But he still hadn't taken his gaze from it. So, Raven acted fast. She quickly placed the chocolate frog inside of her mouth, hating every second of the sweet on her tongue, but she sucked it up for Cedric. She saw out of the corner of her eye how her friend relaxed.

She forcefully swallowed down the bittersweet before she pulled another one out of her pocket. "Do you want another one?"

"Yeah." He nodded before glancing down at the jumping frog in her hand. "Do you think.."

Raven smiled, "Yeah."

Raven did it again, breaking the head of the frog off of its body before handing it to Cedric. The boy happily ate the sweet before Raven was forced to gulp down the bittersweet frog once more.

And that's how it was for a bit. Cedric eating a headless chocolate frog and Raven eating the head of said chocolate frog after she broke it off. The two of them were at peace with that as they walked towards the quidditch field.

"What happened to the first chocolate frog I gave you?" Raven asked.

"Oh." Cedric flushed, embarrassed. "It ran away."

"Scary cat."

"I am not a scary cat!"

Raven and Cedric continued to tease each other back and forth, long since they mounted their broom and went up into the air. The night sky relaxed Raven, feeling the light of the moon hit against her pale skin. She fought the urge to shiver as a breeze hit her, reminding herself to bring her robs next time to not be cold.

Cedric quickly caught onto the fact that Raven was cold and wordlessly tossed her his jacket that he had been wearing.

"Cedric—"

"I'll be fine, Ray—Ray." Cedric stated. "Besides, I can't let a pretty girl freeze to death."

Raven's eye twitched before she grabbed onto the broom tightly, feeling her hair fly against the wind. Cedric shrieked as soon as he saw her coming and flew away. Raven quickly turned hard as soon as he had, following closely behind him. She could feel the cool breeze against her face, and the jacket of her best friend flowing against the wind. She felt so cold, yet so warm.

It was almost perfect.

Cedric laughed as Raven continued to chase after him, gripping her broom tighter as he did rough turns that she matched. He looped around the goal, and Raven followed the action, making a tighter turn than him before flying after him.

And pretty soon, the two of them had left the Hogwarts Quidditch field and flew around the castle instead. She continued to chase him, following against the wall of the tower as they flew higher and higher. Raven knew that she should have been afraid, but she felt free. And, light as she flew in the air.

"Too slow, Ray—Ray!" Cedric exclaimed, laughing as he barely dodged Raven as he flew above the bride, hoping to catch her off guard and cause her to stop before she accidentally crashed into the concrete bridge with a windowless hallway.

Raven acted fast, holding her breathe as she flew straight through the window. She scrapped her arm against the concrete curve of the window. She bit her lip, ignoring the pain as a flash of adrenaline filled her and pushed forward. A loud whoosh was heard as she exited out of the other window, holding her arms closer to the broom to avoid any contact with the other curve.

She quickly let the smile escape her lips as she flew up, catching Cedric completely off guard causing him to stop hastily to avoid hitting her. Raven turned to look at him, a smirk rose on her face as the wind blew in her hair. She could feel the way her left arm, just below her elbow, stung. But that was nothing compared to this.

The look on his face was totally worth it.

He was frozen, gripping his broom tightly as he brought it up to his chest to stop. His eyes were wide as his mouth parted open ever so slightly. He looked shocked, completely shocked. And Raven thought he looked hilarious.

"Try to keep up, Diggory!"

"You little—" She heard him say before he shouted at her in the dead of night, not caring if he had woken anyone up with his shouts. "YOU CHEATED, ROSIER!"

Raven laughed at his fading words before she continued on, making her way back to the Quidditch field. She flew over the castle, enjoying the feeling of the ice prickling air against her skin as she went higher and higher. She turned around, seeing Cedric at her tail. She stuck her tongue out, for once not caring if she were being childish or unladylike because she was having fun.

Cedric rolled his eyes before Raven turned back, turning sharply as she almost bumped into a wall. She quickly went and passed through the roof of the school before she saw the field. She gripped tightly onto the broom, not being able to feel her fingers anymore against the ice like air. She could feel the way the needles poked at her hand, begging for warmth, but she didn't care.

Her heart was pounding in her ear, and she was actually flying, and just, wow. She has never felt anything this exhilarating in her life. It felt so freeing, and right. She couldn't even think about anything else but this moment.

And she loved it.

She continued on, rushing down towards the field, practically feeling Cedric breathing down her neck. It almost felt as if she were in a match, chasing down a golden snitch. No, that's not quite right. It wasn't like she was chasing the snitch, but Cedric. It felt as if she were protecting him, and blocking anyone's attempt at harming him.

But all good things come to an end.

Raven could practically feel the floor against her knees as she got closer and closer, flying across the field with Cedric in toe. Then, suddenly, a loud groan was heard from behind her. Raven turned, eyes wide at what she saw.

Cedric had collapsed onto the floor, his broom shooting passed Raven.

And his chest wasn't rising.

Raven stopped almost instantly, halting the broom from reaching the end of the field like Cedric's had a few seconds ago. Raven jumped off of her broom, running over to her friend. She slide, ignoring the stain of grass that fell against her pajama pants as she grabbed her friends shoulders.

"Cedric?!" Raven exclaimed, gripping his shoulders tightly, shaking him. "Are you okay?!"

No response.

"CEDRIC!" Raven shrieked.

A smile broke out on Cedric's face, halting Raven's shouts and just as she opened her mouth to say something, "HAHAHA!"

"Ugh!" Raven shoved Cedric down onto the ground again. "You arse!"

"You should have seen the look on your face!" Cedric cackled, his rough laughter filling the air of the empty Quidditch field.

"I thought you died!" Raven exclaimed, standing up as Cedric clutched onto his stomach.

"I know!" Cedric laughed before he stood up along side Raven. "It was priceless!"

"No, it wasn't!" Raven glared. "Last time, I care about you."

"Aww, you don't mean that Ray—Ray."

"Whatever!" Raven waved him off before she walked over to the broom she left unoccupied. It was still resting in the air, right where she left it. "At least I won."

"You won?" Cedric scoffed. "No, I won. My broom went over the finish line!"

"Only because you cheated!" Raven argued.

"I did not cheat!" Cedric exclaimed. "We never even stated the rules."

"Fine then, let's have a rematch."

"Your on."

"Why am I not surprised that you two are together?" A unfamiliar voice echoed on the quidditch field. Raven and Cedric stiffened before they turned to look at the girl. Raven wanted to kick Cedric as soon as she locked eyes with the girl in front of them. Jessie Beckett, the Hufflepuff Prefect, and the captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch Team, just their luck.

Cedric broke the silence first.

"It was all Raven's idea!" Cedric exclaimed, pointing directly at Raven. The red haired girl gasped, smacking his hand away.

"What happened to," Raven began to mimic Cedric's previous words. "I'll take the blame Ray—Ray, don't worry."

Raven crossed her arms, shaking her head as she mumbled under her breathe. "And Hufflepuff's are supposed to be honest."

"I am honest!" Cedric argued. Raven narrowed her eyes at him. "I said I'll take the blame if a professor catches us—"

"Especially if it's Professor Snape." Raven mumbled. Cedric flushed.

"Raven!"

"Cedric!" Raven mimicked his tone.

"Okay, okay." Jessie interrupted the two of them. The both of them turned to Jessie, "As much as I love watching this, it's late and I want to go to bed."

"Sorry, Captain Beckett." Raven apologized, hating herself for a moment for forgetting that Jessie was technically an adult and should be treated with respect.

"My bad, Jess." Cedric apologized right after.

Raven almost immediately stood up straight, forgetting about her relaxed posture. She put her hands to her side, looking more like a soldier than a child. Cedric glanced at her, confused by her sudden change.

"No need to call me Captain Beckett, Rosier." Jessie said, flushing at how adult the name was. She cleared her throat, "Just Captain, or Jessie is fine."

"My apologies, Captain." Raven nodded. "It won't happen again."

"What is happening?" Cedric was so confused. One second Raven was so carefree, and the next, she was standing up so straight that he could swear her back was a board.

Neither girl answered him as they continued to make eye contact with one another.

"Nothing." Jessie sighed before flashing a smile at the two of them. A tired smile. "Come on guys, let's head to bed. Raven, don't forget the broom."

Raven nodded, quickly handing her broom to Cedric before she jogged over to grab his broomstick. She quickly felt the wood on her fingertips as she held the broom and jogged back. Cedric and Jessie were waiting for her patiently, conversing amongst themselves.

"Sooo," Cedric hummed. "Can we still try out for the team next week?"

Raven kept her mouth shut. She learned her lesson early on that she should never speak unless spoken to. The bruises on her wrist are proof of that.

"Try out?" Jessie scoffed as they walked towards the entrance of the school. "You made the team."

"What?" Cedric exclaimed. "But— But How?"

"I seen the way you two flew. It was magnificence." Jessie said, a sparkle in her eye as she glanced between the two of them. "All you have to do is come to try outs tomorrow after classes end, so I could see what position suits you two the best."

"Me too?" Raven quickly shut her mouth after her mistake, feeling the way her hand began to tremble in fear at what was too come. She clenched her jaw and readied herself for the screams that would soon leave Jessie's mouth.

"Yeah."

But all Raven heard was the softness of Jessie's words.

"You too." Jessie sent Raven a smile. "You have some serious skills, little one."

Raven felt her cheeks warm up at the complement. "It— It was nothing. Plus, I'm not even trying out."

"That's a shame." Jessie said. "You have exceptional talent. I would have loved to see you on my team."

"I'll try out!" Raven exclaimed, ignoring the heat on her cheeks. Jessie sent Raven a smile, and Raven looked away, avoiding her eyes, accidentally meeting Cedric's knowing gaze.

"Oh really?" Jessie chuckled. "You know that means that you'll be the youngest person on the team, right?"

"I know." Raven nods, still avoiding her eyes.

Jessie placed a hand on her shoulder. "And your okay with that?"

"Yeah." Cedric smirked. "Are you okay with that, Ray—Ray?"

Raven looked Jessie, straight in the eyes before she pointed to Cedric. "I'm friends with a scary cat that's two years older than me. I'm okay with it."

Jessie laughed and Raven smiled at the sound of it. A part of her filled with pride that she was the cause of her captains laugh. Her captain.. she was on the team. Her chest felt a little lighter at that realization. She wasn't as alone in her house anymore.

Cedric and her roommates didn't count. Finally, someone other than then accepted her in their house. Maybe this was a step in the right direction. Maybe they could finally accept Raven for just Raven instead of Raven Rosier. It's not like she deserves it anyways.

But still,

At least someone finally wanted her.

Even if it was just for a sport.

✦✦✦✦✦✦

"Ribbit!"

"A chocolate frog?" A bushy haired girl questioned as she had awoken from a nap on a coach by a fireplace. She had lost track of time reading her romance novel and hadn't even realized that she fell asleep.

"Ribbit!" The frog bounced onto the coach, settling into the girls lap as if it was just for her.

"Did Ronald send you?" The girl exclaimed as she spoke to the frog. "He knows that chocolate frogs are my favorite!"

"Ribbit?"

"Hermione!" A red haired girl called out, causing the bushy brown haired girl to jump, startled. "What are you doing awake?"

"I was catching up on some reading." The brown haired girl explained, still holding the frog who hadn't even tried to fight out of her grasp. "Why are you awake, Ginevra?"

"I told you to call me Ginny." The red haired girl raised her eyebrow before she sighed, shaking her head. "Nevermind. I just came to get a glass of water. Now, go to sleep, will ya?"

"Fine." The brushy brown haired girl didn't argue any further and left the common room, walking up the stairs and down the hallway and into her dorm room. She hoped that her dorm mates were asleep, and thankfully, they were out like a light.

She quickly fell into her bed, the chocolate frog in her hand as she memorized it with a smile.

"At least he remembered."

She spent that night dreaming of a red haired boy instead of the red haired girl who unconsciously spelled the chocolate frog to go to the muggle witch, hoping that she liked sweets.